My Shy Guide to Role Playing
So, you like to role play, but you're shy. Good! I hear and feel this a lot, so these are my thoughts on the subject. This is a first draft, and we'll see if I have the gumption to edit it more later. Feedback is welcome. I hope this is the right place for this.
Go ahead and be different.
Maybe you're afraid your character is too weird, or outside the lore, or underdeveloped, or even overdeveloped? It doesn't matter. In case you aren't aware, you're amongst role players, and this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some pretty weird people amongst us role players. Dare I say, the majority of us are downright weird. Welcome!
So get weird. We are your people. Be among us, not outside of us. It doesn't matter if you think your character name is silly, or too cool, or not close enough to the lore. Someone might even throw a negative comment your way, but consider this: You have two options, 1.) ignore it, or 2.) RP with it. How would your character handle a heckler? Would they rise above it? Would they cry? Either is fine, even if you didn't previously plan it that way for your character. Better still if you didn't. You're role playing. Role playing doesn't mean you have to be cool, and in fact it's usually more interesting when you're not.
But, frankly, if you put your mind to it, you can probably pull off cool better than you think. Food for thought: in every story ever, there are characters who don't think the cool characters are cool. If you have a cool character, expect to encounter those characters. Every hero needs antagonists. Don't lose your personal cool over it. If you're not sure how to "roll" with it, ignore it. Brood about it. Role players love some good brooding. Go sit in the corner of the tavern by yourself for a little while and strike up a conversation out loud with the NPC bartender, because chances are someone will join in with you, and next thing you know, you're no longer hanging with the robots and you're back role playing with us humans again. As mean as we all get, we really do want you around.
Go ahead and brood.
We're all aware of those people who sit alone in the back of the tavern. Chances are, you're one of those people. We've all done it. Think about that, though. How many solo sitters does it take for you to approach one of them? Reflect on yourself. Aren't you dying for someone to come up to you and ask about your past so you can tell them you don't like to talk about it? Aren't you really dying for them to pry so you can "begrudgingly" feed them little melodramatic pieces of it while feigning disinterest with lore-related small talk? Those people are like you. They will feign disinterest too! Feign disinterest together. Brood next to each other, not apart. Although your character thinks they'll never be able to be close to anyone else ever again, honestly, you desperately hope they'll get the chance to. And they probably will! Everyone loves a good redemption story, but if Game of Thrones has taught us anything, it can be just as interesting to see how much further down rock bottom can go.
Basically, in all likelyhood, someone will want your character in their storyline. Don't look at it as giving people a chance to reject you. Give us a chance to accept you. And we don't get that chance if you don't put yourself in front of us.
Go ahead and be rude.
Do you pretend you're not eavesdropping on everyone else's RP and stop yourself from interjecting because you're afraid of butting in and being rude? Well, be rude! Butt in! Good stories are built on conflict. Stir things up! People want to see characters that intrigue them. As it happens, rude, cocky, goofy, offish, and eccentric characters are interesting. People who only say a little, but clearly have more they want to say, are interesting. You don't even have to act like someone else. If you're shy, with a shy character, people love to try and pry open shy people, in real life, and in RP. Put yourself on the chopping block and tell yourself, "This is for art."
Don't be afraid of jumping into the water because you know it'll be cold at first. In this analogy, "water" is any social situation, and "cold" is feeling rejected and left out. You've got to jump in eventually, and yes, it might be cold at first. Someone will ignore you at some point. Ask yourself, "What's their problem?" (note: not yours), and what have we learned so far? Either, 1.) they're just a jerk, don't waste your time, or 2.) they're role playing a jerk, and that's interesting! Poke and prod them. Do not be surprised when you finally do get a response right as you begin to walk away. Stop, look over your shoulder, and comment back. Next thing you know, a conversation has sprung up between the both of you, and you're role playing! Yay!
But wait! There's a meta lesson here.
I'm one of you. I'm shy. I'm introverted. Many times I've said this to someone else's apparent surprise, because the trick with me is that by now, I know that shy is something in my head. Everything I wrote here is what I tell myself to even walk INTO the tavern at all, sit down, and start listening for opportunities to insert myself into the scene. Think about the stories you like. Characters often inject themselves into situations, because that's what the writer needs them to do in order to get them into the dialogue. People interrupt each other's conversations every day.
Keep in mind that if something you try doesn't work, that's okay. The people who turn their RP into fanfiction won't include it, so the world will forget your mistake. Try it again another time or try something else. At the heart of this medium is improvisation, and improv is a yes-game. You try something, and the proper response from a good role player is, "Yes, and..." not, "No, stop talking." Good role players will try to keep the situation moving, because deep down, we really want that more than all of us brooding in the corners alone and away from each other.
Consider this my internal monologue, as a shy role player, shared with you. Some people might think this is total, useless crap, but I can't know if it's helpful to anyone if I don't take the risk and put it out there anyway. Put yourself out there. Whatever you've got is probably not total, useless crap. I'm looking at you, lurking guest who hasn't even registered yet because they're shy.
Don't be shy. Get out there and role play.
So, you like to role play, but you're shy. Good! I hear and feel this a lot, so these are my thoughts on the subject. This is a first draft, and we'll see if I have the gumption to edit it more later. Feedback is welcome. I hope this is the right place for this.
Go ahead and be different.
Maybe you're afraid your character is too weird, or outside the lore, or underdeveloped, or even overdeveloped? It doesn't matter. In case you aren't aware, you're amongst role players, and this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some pretty weird people amongst us role players. Dare I say, the majority of us are downright weird. Welcome!
So get weird. We are your people. Be among us, not outside of us. It doesn't matter if you think your character name is silly, or too cool, or not close enough to the lore. Someone might even throw a negative comment your way, but consider this: You have two options, 1.) ignore it, or 2.) RP with it. How would your character handle a heckler? Would they rise above it? Would they cry? Either is fine, even if you didn't previously plan it that way for your character. Better still if you didn't. You're role playing. Role playing doesn't mean you have to be cool, and in fact it's usually more interesting when you're not.
But, frankly, if you put your mind to it, you can probably pull off cool better than you think. Food for thought: in every story ever, there are characters who don't think the cool characters are cool. If you have a cool character, expect to encounter those characters. Every hero needs antagonists. Don't lose your personal cool over it. If you're not sure how to "roll" with it, ignore it. Brood about it. Role players love some good brooding. Go sit in the corner of the tavern by yourself for a little while and strike up a conversation out loud with the NPC bartender, because chances are someone will join in with you, and next thing you know, you're no longer hanging with the robots and you're back role playing with us humans again. As mean as we all get, we really do want you around.
Go ahead and brood.
We're all aware of those people who sit alone in the back of the tavern. Chances are, you're one of those people. We've all done it. Think about that, though. How many solo sitters does it take for you to approach one of them? Reflect on yourself. Aren't you dying for someone to come up to you and ask about your past so you can tell them you don't like to talk about it? Aren't you really dying for them to pry so you can "begrudgingly" feed them little melodramatic pieces of it while feigning disinterest with lore-related small talk? Those people are like you. They will feign disinterest too! Feign disinterest together. Brood next to each other, not apart. Although your character thinks they'll never be able to be close to anyone else ever again, honestly, you desperately hope they'll get the chance to. And they probably will! Everyone loves a good redemption story, but if Game of Thrones has taught us anything, it can be just as interesting to see how much further down rock bottom can go.
Basically, in all likelyhood, someone will want your character in their storyline. Don't look at it as giving people a chance to reject you. Give us a chance to accept you. And we don't get that chance if you don't put yourself in front of us.
Go ahead and be rude.
Do you pretend you're not eavesdropping on everyone else's RP and stop yourself from interjecting because you're afraid of butting in and being rude? Well, be rude! Butt in! Good stories are built on conflict. Stir things up! People want to see characters that intrigue them. As it happens, rude, cocky, goofy, offish, and eccentric characters are interesting. People who only say a little, but clearly have more they want to say, are interesting. You don't even have to act like someone else. If you're shy, with a shy character, people love to try and pry open shy people, in real life, and in RP. Put yourself on the chopping block and tell yourself, "This is for art."
Don't be afraid of jumping into the water because you know it'll be cold at first. In this analogy, "water" is any social situation, and "cold" is feeling rejected and left out. You've got to jump in eventually, and yes, it might be cold at first. Someone will ignore you at some point. Ask yourself, "What's their problem?" (note: not yours), and what have we learned so far? Either, 1.) they're just a jerk, don't waste your time, or 2.) they're role playing a jerk, and that's interesting! Poke and prod them. Do not be surprised when you finally do get a response right as you begin to walk away. Stop, look over your shoulder, and comment back. Next thing you know, a conversation has sprung up between the both of you, and you're role playing! Yay!
But wait! There's a meta lesson here.
I'm one of you. I'm shy. I'm introverted. Many times I've said this to someone else's apparent surprise, because the trick with me is that by now, I know that shy is something in my head. Everything I wrote here is what I tell myself to even walk INTO the tavern at all, sit down, and start listening for opportunities to insert myself into the scene. Think about the stories you like. Characters often inject themselves into situations, because that's what the writer needs them to do in order to get them into the dialogue. People interrupt each other's conversations every day.
Keep in mind that if something you try doesn't work, that's okay. The people who turn their RP into fanfiction won't include it, so the world will forget your mistake. Try it again another time or try something else. At the heart of this medium is improvisation, and improv is a yes-game. You try something, and the proper response from a good role player is, "Yes, and..." not, "No, stop talking." Good role players will try to keep the situation moving, because deep down, we really want that more than all of us brooding in the corners alone and away from each other.
Consider this my internal monologue, as a shy role player, shared with you. Some people might think this is total, useless crap, but I can't know if it's helpful to anyone if I don't take the risk and put it out there anyway. Put yourself out there. Whatever you've got is probably not total, useless crap. I'm looking at you, lurking guest who hasn't even registered yet because they're shy.
Don't be shy. Get out there and role play.
Hiro