My thoughts are chasing themselves around in my mind lately, so I'm writing them down so I can find some order in this. It makes me laugh a little and reminds me how much I have changed, from that chaotic girl who would put herself into so much danger, to what I am now.
But what am I? Well a mother for one, and perhaps the first among many things. It has changed me more than I really ever thought, and continues to affect my choices in life. I cannot just do as I wish, as others depend on me. At first it was my daughter, but now others as well. Though at this point I am having trouble, because I cannot support them, I am myself in dire need of succor.
I did once trust a lot more than I have. It gals me when I am told to be careful, I have tired to say just how careful I am, how few ever get past my scrutiny. Not even those that have been with me for quite some time now. For trust can be gained, and lost with equal measure. I think oft on what my sister says, that nothing is ever as it seems. With that in mind I look on ever new thing, I observe and calculate it from every angle.
I am blessed with a quick mind, so I dont think people realize what I am doing, doing what I must to guard myself.
But what am I? Well a mother for one, and perhaps the first among many things. It has changed me more than I really ever thought, and continues to affect my choices in life. I cannot just do as I wish, as others depend on me. At first it was my daughter, but now others as well. Though at this point I am having trouble, because I cannot support them, I am myself in dire need of succor.
I did once trust a lot more than I have. It gals me when I am told to be careful, I have tired to say just how careful I am, how few ever get past my scrutiny. Not even those that have been with me for quite some time now. For trust can be gained, and lost with equal measure. I think oft on what my sister says, that nothing is ever as it seems. With that in mind I look on ever new thing, I observe and calculate it from every angle.
I am blessed with a quick mind, so I dont think people realize what I am doing, doing what I must to guard myself.
