Love is something that has caused me among the greatest pain in my life. Perhaps I loved too easily and believed too deeply in its commitment. I stood by my love, till I could no longer hold on, and then I ran, I escaped, I fled. I have been used by my feelings of love, controlled and trapped, and am always, always wary of such happening again. The wounds from those times, have healed, but the scars remained, reminders of past folly.
Those scars make me wary, and they make me fight for what I believe to be true. What I want, and need in a relation, be it friend or lover. I rarely compromise because I really trust, and that makes me very difficult to love, for those who have their own scars. Or that is my theory.
I have made promises to myself, which I will not break. That if there ever comes a time when my love for someone, causes me to hurt myself, to neglect what I need to feel alive, I have to leave. I will never be trapped or have my feelings used against me. Oh what a long way I have come from the careful woman I was, but if I am to live, to be happy and to find her again, I need to keep this promise.
I still see that mischievous girl, daring and full of life, I know I will get her back. In her memory I purchased one of those wind up succubus, and it made me happy. I do have to wonder why such a little thing, brought me joy in these last days when little else could? But, if I am to find happiness, I need to be strong and hold to my belief. I need to feel I am an equal in my love, in my relations, and I will find this, like the hunter I am.
Those scars make me wary, and they make me fight for what I believe to be true. What I want, and need in a relation, be it friend or lover. I rarely compromise because I really trust, and that makes me very difficult to love, for those who have their own scars. Or that is my theory.
I have made promises to myself, which I will not break. That if there ever comes a time when my love for someone, causes me to hurt myself, to neglect what I need to feel alive, I have to leave. I will never be trapped or have my feelings used against me. Oh what a long way I have come from the careful woman I was, but if I am to live, to be happy and to find her again, I need to keep this promise.
I still see that mischievous girl, daring and full of life, I know I will get her back. In her memory I purchased one of those wind up succubus, and it made me happy. I do have to wonder why such a little thing, brought me joy in these last days when little else could? But, if I am to find happiness, I need to be strong and hold to my belief. I need to feel I am an equal in my love, in my relations, and I will find this, like the hunter I am.
