Trust is something I have struggled with all my life, you could of course say that my ill start is to blame, and also what followed. But I think perhaps it was my refusal to see the worst in people, that has left me open to experiences, which have further damaged my trust in others. Perhaps I left myself too open, but I know I am very closed hearted these days. So how does one build trust with me?
I am difficult, I know this, I watch everything and remember. I analyse and compare, I wish my mind would not do this. I know it will take some time to trust Rosey fully. It pains me. What have I become?
I am seeing all these bonds form, around me, and I want this for myself. I hope will be ready, but I know I am not ready now. I still ache for such things. I still long for arms around me at night, the warmth against mine, the presence of someone in my life. The bond formed not of material things, but the day after day of their presence in my life. The simple words, brief but meaningful gestures, love letters and little treats. Yes, those, do build my trust.
I have to believe in what I have, that those things I long for, are here to stay. I have to work for them, make time for them, devote myself to them. Nothing is ever a simple promise.
I am difficult, I know this, I watch everything and remember. I analyse and compare, I wish my mind would not do this. I know it will take some time to trust Rosey fully. It pains me. What have I become?
I am seeing all these bonds form, around me, and I want this for myself. I hope will be ready, but I know I am not ready now. I still ache for such things. I still long for arms around me at night, the warmth against mine, the presence of someone in my life. The bond formed not of material things, but the day after day of their presence in my life. The simple words, brief but meaningful gestures, love letters and little treats. Yes, those, do build my trust.
I have to believe in what I have, that those things I long for, are here to stay. I have to work for them, make time for them, devote myself to them. Nothing is ever a simple promise.
