(04-22-2015, 08:47 AM)Alothia Wrote:(04-22-2015, 08:38 AM)Datenshi Wrote: I cannot begin to stress just how much the passive-aggressive sighing, that "Everyone's ignoring me" shtick, gets under my skin. As if you're the Yellow Emperor whose needs need to be met for civilization to continue. Honestly, if there's any toxicity in this group, this... culture, whatever it is you wish to call our community it's the negativity that's radiating from those who feel wronged when they don't get what they want right now and place the blame on the community itself for not fulfilling their needs.
The problem is when people who are new or trying to drum up connections in the connections forum get passed over. Or when new people say hello, and people ignore their threads. It's not even a matter of those people saying that they're being ignored. It's a general sense of seeing that they're being ignored.
Trust me, I'm an advocate for people getting out there and finding RP, starting it up with people randomly. It's how I met some of the best friends I have in this game. It's how I met my current RP partner.Â
But pretending like it's not happening is just as bad as people who don't advocate for themselves. It does happen. You may not have experienced it, but it doesn't lessen the fact that it does happen to other people.
It reminds me of a camp that I went to for the school I teach at. It was a diversity camp thingy, and one of the things that they taught us was that "We are the owner of our own story." We cannot invalidate someone else's experience simply because it's an experience that we have never had. Count yourself lucky that you don't feel that way, and make a point of ensuring that others don't have that experience. That's how we're going to fix it. Not by telling people that it's their own fault for feeling ignored.
Presently speaking though, all of the threads in the welcome desk has replies and some of them even have upwards of ten. I don't know if you were specifically meaning for the welcome threads, but getting a few replies to something like that is pretty good in my eyes. They're hard to reply to in the sense that usually you can say little more than some variation of welcome and maybe toss in a compliment to their character design. I try to do it because I like doing stuff like that but I can also understand why someone wouldn't bother so much with a one-five word reply.Â
I also feel like there shouldn't be so much blaming involved when it comes to finding and not finding roleplay. It's not to anyones fault because it's not just one persons responsibility, it's everyones responsibility. You, me, even the lurkers. So if one is to blame we're all to blame in the same bout and that doesn't really lead to anywhere constructive.Â
I have posted in a lot of making connections threads, and so far I have been contacted by a fraction of the OP's, I usually try to encourage people reaching out to me in game because I will forget to do it, I have the memory of a sieve. I have a slight expectance for people looking for connections also following through with a tell or a PM or similar. Though I think this talk has happened before.Â
If someone is struggling to find roleplay, my advice is always to try and get in the fray and do some walk ups. It's hard to start storylines with strangers, so try to have a stab at the crowd and see if you can turn some of the strangers into regular contacts. That might mean showing up at large events that doesn't always suit your character (eg. I try to spectate the grindstone now and then, none of my characters fight however, and there's not always someone to cheer on. But you might just meet another spectator to idly chat with about the fighting that's going on)Â
Sometimes bringing your characters into envirionments where they wouldn't exactly thrive can help develop them as well, maybe a positive experience means they wont be so opposed to it in the future. Mind you I'm not saying break your character, cause that's no fun.Â
And then.. Persistence. I know it's hard, but it does pay off in the end. Despite being a GM, I do go through times of RP starvation, and generally wanting to RP with someone outside of my company as well. I end up facing the same challenges.
If there's anyone out there compatible with my activity as an EU'er, feel free to reach out and poke me. Nailah is a very versatile character, save for coerthas and northern thanalan there's not a place where she wont go, and she will absolutely start the conversation too. She isn't overly great with paralysingly shy characters, though.Â
This ended up being longer than I expected. I sorry. Please accept a cookie.
