(05-15-2015, 03:40 PM)Faye Wrote:(05-15-2015, 11:15 AM)Zyrusticae Wrote: On another note, I keep seeing people emphasizing shyness =/= social anxiety disorder. I'm sure folks are just trying to make sure people are on the same page on this, but I keep getting this implication that people feel I am being disingenuous on my claims of possessing such a disorder.
I don't think anyone is meaning to imply you're being disingenuous, I think there's just some confusion because you've tried to push for social anxiety to be labeled "cute," or that it's "not that bad" and just a personality quirk, which is a baffling concept to anyone with a deep and personal understanding of social anxiety. It easily leads someone to believe that you don't have a clear understanding of what social anxiety is, or that the only kind you acknowledge and know of is incredibly mild.
The realities of social anxiety are:
- Difficulty forming and keeping relationships with other people
- Difficulty leaving the house or running errands (and this includes to do important things, like buy groceries when you have no food, going to a medical appointment, filling the nearly empty gas tank in your car, etc.)
- Difficulty making phone calls (once again for potentially important things, like refilling a prescription that's run out, calling your workplace to tell them you're sick today, etc.)
- Difficulty even leaving your room/getting out of bed if you live with other people
- Difficulty finding and keeping a job, or difficulty attending school and keeping your grades up
- Panic attacks (which feel like you're literally dying)
- Shortness of breath, increased heart rate, sweating, dizziness,
- Acid reflux, stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, digestive problems
- Insomnia, sore muscles, headaches, exhaustion, problems with your teeth from reflux or grinding
- Long term effects of stress like stomach ulcers, skin problems, aging more quickly, weight loss/gain etc.
- Potential to spiral into depression, including self-harm and suicide
- Potential to develop a dependency on drugs or alcohol or other addictions to cope
- Money spent on therapy and medications
- Side effects from those medications, as well as the fact that starting a new antidepressant typically worsens anxiety until your body adjusts
- Potential to get addicted to medications prescribed for your anxiety (i.e. Xanax)
Looking at the realities many people with social anxiety face (and that was only to name a few of the more objective/common ones), it can sound absolutely ludicrous to expect people to find it to be a cute and endearing condition, or one that's easy to brush aside or cope with, so I believe some of us are under the impression you don't really understand what social anxiety is and that you've simply made a shy character rather than a character legitimately afflicted with social anxiety.
As far as the theory that social anxiety is "a part of your personality," I can promise you, it's not. You know it's not you when it happens. It feels wrong and foreign, probably not much different than how a transgender person knows they were born the wrong sex. You just know it's wrong, it's not you. Plenty of people afflicted with social anxiety are actually outgoing or extroverted, our anxiety just squanders that part of us and it's painful not being able to express who you know you really are.
To add, one of the WORST things about the disorder is constantly worrying about if it will kick in when you do something new or... anything at all. Again, I'm not shy, but if I get invited to a party, or invited to a movie, or an amusement park (Which I LOVE AMUSEMENT PARKS) I have to spend the next few days deciding whether or not I can even go or if my disorder is going to come up and make everything embarrassing and awful. You can't spring something on me that day. "Want to go to a movie in an hour?" is not possible with me, unless your my mom, you have to give me 24 hours notice generally. I hate that because I'm pretty spontaneous, before I had the disorder (It started when I was 25) I would just go do whatever I wanted, no problem.
I like traveling. I also know if I travel the first time in a hotel I'll have a panic attack. I went to New York City and Las Vegas last year, both times the first night my brain was telling me to go home even though I WANTED TO BE THERE. Traveling is hard. I have to make sure it's something I really want to do before I decide to go because I know what it means. It means a panic attack.
It's beneath the surface all the time. And you worry about it all the time. And it's awful - the disorder becomes being afraid of the disorder. It took me 5-6 years to control it on the level I do now. I went from having 3-4 panic attacks a week to having 1-2 a year. But it is not an easy road and I can slip at any time.
And I know that. And it's terrifying.
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