It was a struggle - it was always a struggle in Gogonji's waking hours. And sometimes even when he slumbered. Memories and identities seeking to force themselves upon him, to subvert his very being and replace it with their own. Broken, fragmented, and amidst others in a whirlpool of existential fury and chaos, the essences of the Soul Crystals seemed to want nothing more than another taste of that brief in the Castrum. To once again be able to affect the world that had long since forgotten them through the green-haired Lalafell.
There were moments, though, moments when something called to the fragments and wakened them from their blind rage and scrambling for mental domination. The link between Gogonji and his original Scholar crystal had called to the Nymian tactician first and foremost, making the Scholar his first. His passion to avenge his homeland from the machinations of the Garleans had roused the Ninja and brought him into subservience. And, in what was a break in the trend, it had been Chachanji's friend Virara that had called to the lady Monk and seek to teach rather than subvert. In all cases, some sort of resonance was needed to break the fragment free, to make them open to discussion and possible compliance.
Until that point was reached again, Gogonji had no choice but to wall himself against them like he had for what felt like moons now. Enshroud himself in his own memories like a great mental cocoon to maintain his identify and his control. Any flash of emotion, any lapse in focus, could be the foothold to bring the undesirables clambering over his walls and casting his consciousness to the aether. This made any motion he made, any words he spoke, slow and deliberate - guarding himself before each movement and each utterance. To the uniformed, he might seem mentally handicapped... and perhaps that is what one could term him - he was working under a great handicap to function anywhere close to normal.
Oddly enough, while the fragments were the source of his problems - they were also part of the solution. Not only were the three he had properly "bonded" with no longer harassing him alongside the other seven, but they provided other assistance as well. Focusing exercises, meditations, aligning his chakra, all skills wrought from now-fuzzy memories in a desperate attempt to grasp for any extra resources to shore up his mental defenses. It was not enough to permanently push back the remaining fragments until he was ready to deal with them, but it allowed him to commit more energy to other tasks.
Before the acquiescence of the Scholar, Gogonji sought to keep himself asleep as much as possible - a sort of self-induced coma to focus every last scrap of energy on fighting a one-man mental war against ten. It was only his stubborn will, his prior experience and training with the Rousers, and perhaps that flicker of an Echo of his that had kept his mind from utterly collapsing under the strain... but only barely. He had been completely reliant on An and the nurses to tend to his corporeal form while he dealt with the incorporeal.
However, that crucible had also served to hone his mental defenses to their absolute limit. In doing so, even one fragment relenting meant resources freed. While he still spent most of his time in slumber due to the strain, Gogonji could quietly put aside some energy for other things. It had been that wellspring of meager scraps that had allowed him - again with assistance by An - to be brought down to Mist's dock. Which had resulted in meeting with Virara the first time outside of a combat situation, and their discussion had been the impetus that roused the Ninja.
And with the purple-haired Lalafell's physical imbalance having called to the Monk, that was a near-third fewer entities hammering at his mental walls. This meant a lot more energy that could be spent elsewhere. While before he was restricted to his bed in the Medical Ward or moving about with someone to prop him up like some hobbled elder, he now could again interact with the world of the living - albeit in his slow, calculated manner. He had made a few slow trips down to the docks again on his lonesome, aided by a walking stick he was able to acquire by request from the Still Shore's medical staff. And despite the twitches of his limbs - the continued attempt by the chaotic mental whirlpool to again tug at his puppet strings - there was a liberating feeling of being able to mostly move under his own power once again.
But what to do with himself? While he himself felt his assault against the Garleans felt justified - albeit slightly less so upon discovering that his family was alive and well - he would certainly still be considered an enemy of the state to those aware of the undertakings. And, given the number his brother had amassed in order to put a stop to his plans, it was obvious that his carefully concealed plans had certainly been leaked to a reasonable degree. How much so, he was uncertain, but it had been enough for An to offer herself up to take the fall. He had wanted to refute her plan, deny her, but he had been in no place to make such demands nor enforce them.
All he could do was acquiesce to her plan and bade her to return to him, as he always did. As he recovered his strength, he had sought to help her and guide her - minimizing the losses that she would certainly undergo in this fool's errand of hers - though his knowledge of the Ul'dahn legal system was tenuous at best. So, he was genuinely surprised by the lady Lalafell's cunning when she made herself seem less desirable by spreading rumors of her lost fortune - to dissuade his concerns about her being taken as a bride in return for the dropping of the charges. Yet, coin was still king in the Jewel, and someone divested of it would have little power.
And so, when he learned of the guilty verdict - and this "security review" - he had sought to learn more. Keeping the news article with him, he had inquired to the best of his limited abilities on the various personages mentioned within. Of An's current location, of the whereabouts of her once-beau Chuta Allfriend, and - most importantly - what he could learn of the head of this security unit, Elyas Rosewater. The surveillance that the lady Lalafell had noted during their rare outings, and her mentions of those aligned against her... it had all left a bad taste in his mouth. And, partially recovered as he was, he was not about to take such things sitting down.
He trusted An's knowledge, her skill, her capability. However, Gogonji simply did not like the idea of an unknown enemy with unknown resources and unknown motives. The tactician in him - both himself and the remnants of the Nymian Scholar - saw the inherent dangers of such things. So, while he might not do much more than gather information through what limited means he had left to him, it would still help piece together the larger picture and whatever machinations were unfolding. Then, should he be required to move to ensure An's safe return, he would be able to do so.
And Twelve help this Rosewater fellow if he should try anything underhanded or untoward.
~