(07-18-2015, 06:44 PM)Zephyo Wrote: I find that most of the decisions I make are made within the boundaries of 'success' and 'failure.' I'll get half-way in my attempt, and then stall out and let entropy end my progression when the window for success grows smaller. Even with joining the RP community, I have this stigma upon myself that if post describing my plans for my character are not responded to then it just means it wouldn't 'make the cut' if I finished my work anyway. That if I had approached the situation any number of other ways, I'd have a chance at being 'successful.'
My imagination has been working against me more than it has been working for me. As someone with a mild autism spectrum and anxiety issues, it's amazing how much I let some possibility outweigh what simply is. Part of it is mainstream culture, I suppose; Go to school, get a job, pay off debts, continue the pattern. Follow the formula and you might achieve success, but deviate and you'll certainly be a failure. But the truth is, success may not bring happiness, and failure isn't an absolute; merely a stage of progression, passed through on one's way.
Sorry if I have rambled, or reiterated what others have already stated. But My comfort zone is small and cramped, and I like the theme of this thread.
Thanks for sharing. I completely get that.
I find too often we don't give ourselves 'the benefit of the doubt' that we'd give others. When I start a new thing I'm often looking for an excuse to run away from it. I have a bad habit when I join a new FC, I feel like everyone is going to dislike me. So often the first hint of it, I try to run away before I can get ostracized.
Almost always though, its my own head working against me, and whatever Issue I'm freaking out about isn't as big a deal as I thought it was.
Even when I have small successes at the start, it can sometimes only ramp up the pressure, because I feel like I have to keep satisfying people. I used to make gaming youtube videos, for example, and people liked them, but it's scary to make more, because I feel like one failure will screw up all those successes <_<.
