(07-22-2015, 01:48 PM)Natalie Mcbeef Wrote:(07-18-2015, 06:44 PM)Zephyo Wrote: I find that most of the decisions I make are made within the boundaries of 'success' and 'failure.' I'll get half-way in my attempt, and then stall out and let entropy end my progression when the window for success grows smaller. Even with joining the RP community, I have this stigma upon myself that if post describing my plans for my character are not responded to then it just means it wouldn't 'make the cut' if I finished my work anyway. That if I had approached the situation any number of other ways, I'd have a chance at being 'successful.'
My imagination has been working against me more than it has been working for me. As someone with a mild autism spectrum and anxiety issues, it's amazing how much I let some possibility outweigh what simply is. Part of it is mainstream culture, I suppose; Go to school, get a job, pay off debts, continue the pattern. Follow the formula and you might achieve success, but deviate and you'll certainly be a failure. But the truth is, success may not bring happiness, and failure isn't an absolute; merely a stage of progression, passed through on one's way.
Sorry if I have rambled, or reiterated what others have already stated. But My comfort zone is small and cramped, and I like the theme of this thread.
Thanks for sharing. I completely get that.
I find too often we don't give ourselves 'the benefit of the doubt' that we'd give others. When I start a new thing I'm often looking for an excuse to run away from it. I have a bad habit when I join a new FC, I feel like everyone is going to dislike me. So often the first hint of it, I try to run away before I can get ostracized.
Almost always though, its my own head working against me, and whatever Issue I'm freaking out about isn't as big a deal as I thought it was.
Even when I have small successes at the start, it can sometimes only ramp up the pressure, because I feel like I have to keep satisfying people. I used to make gaming youtube videos, for example, and people liked them, but it's scary to make more, because I feel like one failure will screw up all those successes <_<.
This is me as well, honestly. I am usually a big ball of cyclic worries that I'm going to screw up or my character will somehow mess up a story someone has planned or that I'll fail as a tank...the list of just things pertaining to the game honestly goes on and on.
And while there's definitely been times where I dropped the ball (Hello me, queue'ing first time for Brayflox as a warrior with gear 5-8 levels below) or have screwed up, if not for some of you crazy cool folks, I probably would've stopped by now.
When it comes to things like writing or running story arcs, I usually sit on them because of concerns that it might be a dumb idea, or it could start off really strong then suck at the end...and I know I personally HATE movies that are great up till the ending and SO all my rambling aside, it's nice to see and know that other folks are dealing with these things too.
For what it's worth though, while I was able to pick out all the things -I- thought went wrong or didn't work or come across as well with the story arc...apparently people had a lot of fun. The saying that we're all our worth critics is entirely true but try not to let that hold you back. Or like I did, just find a few people who don't seem to mind listening to your worried rambles....I know I had to have sent Steel at least a dozen messages during it all >_>
Martiallais Heuloix - Duty. Honor. Faith.
Armand Tremaux - Justice, like lightning.
"We're all snowflakes in a great blizzard." - Virara 2017
Armand Tremaux - Justice, like lightning.
"We're all snowflakes in a great blizzard." - Virara 2017