I'd say my biggest insecurity has to do with honesty. I'm a critical thinker, I'm analytical by nature, and I have a hard time reacting to people with only empathy and not evaluation.
Unfortunately, I find that people are dishonest far more often than they're honest, though it usually isn't malicious lying, but rather things like omission, or unnecessary sugar-coating, or things like that. Still, it causes me to feel like people as a whole seem inherently disinclined to just speak their mind, which hinders the capability of others to react and proceed in productive ways.
To cite an example:
Roleplayer X and Roleplayer Y have characters who are involved in some long-term RP. Maybe it's a relationship story, maybe their characters have just been good buddies, maybe they're old comrades in the same FC - the exact nature of the RP doesn't matter. Suffice it to say, there's a solid link in their stories at this point.
Roleplayer X has seemed a little distant. X hasn't been in-game as much, and hasn't been as active on their FC's website, either. When Y asks if X is okay, X just says things are just busy with their RL but everything's okay.
Roleplayer X then announces "officially" that they are going to take a brief break for a few days to focus on RL things and get them resolved, but that they'll be available via their out-of-game communication if anyone needs anything. No closure is offered for their RP, because they're claiming they'll be back in a few days.
For a couple of days, people get responses. Then nothing. A week goes by - more than the stated few days. Two weeks. It becomes greater than two weeks since literally anybody has heard a word from X.
What happened to X? Did the thing with their RL lead to arrest and imprisonment? Hospitalized injury? Death? Does X intend to return at all - should Y come up with some reason, lacking any input from X at all, for why Y is able to just move on from X (because if Y were realistic, given the bond between the characters, Y should be spending months of RP time trying to figure out what happened to X's character, including search parties that are fruitless efforts, and so on).
Does X ever return? How long should Y and the others wait before concluding that X isn't coming back?Â
Meanwhile, the truth here is simple to determine. The truth is that X has either met a fate where X is literally incapable of responding to communication (jail, hospitalized, and death are about the only ones I can think of), or, X just wasn't feeling engaged by the game or the group of people, and has decided to move on with doing other things.Â
Why is that the truth? Because if X actually cares about these people, there's no amount of being busy that would remove the capability of sending out a quick message every few days to touch base. That takes like five minutes. You literally can't be so busy that you can't find five minutes to let people that you consider friends know that you're okay and still coming back. Short of, as mentioned, being jailed, in a hospital, or dead. Even if X's internet was shut off, or X became unexpectedly homeless, libraries still exist (with those weird dead-tree-wafer things on shelves) and have internet access. X also probably has friends and relatives in real life, whom X could ask, "Hey guys, mind if I use your computer/phone for just a sec to let some friends of mine know that I'm alive and okay?"
Honesty. Honesty would save X from having all those positive memories of the player and their RP stories become tainted by the uncertainty of their ultimate fate, both IC and OOC, and the lingering shadow of probable lies. All X would've had to do was tell everyone, "Hey guys, I've had a lot of fun, but I'm starting to feel a little burned out on this, so I'm going to be focusing on some other hobbies/games/characters/whatever for awhile. I may or may not reply to out-of-game communication because if I start to feel like I'm being pressured to return before I'm ready, or if I start to feel like I'm being guilted, I may feel the urge to withdraw altogether. To cover the bases ICly, we'll say my character has decided to embark on a journey alone for awhile, so that you can all continue on with your stories while I'm gone, and that way if I end up not returning at all, at least I know you guys will be okay."
See, that's someone with integrity. That's someone who is an actual friend to the people they've claimed are their friends. I find, unfortunately, that it's very rare. Most often, people string together some implausible excuses as they gradually peter down their time, and then disappear to leave you feeling disappointed and sad that you once again took it to heart when someone said they were your friend and they seem to have not meant it, and at the same time, feeling guilty that you're upset about that, because for all you know they've been hit by a bus, so you're also worried, but then... simultaneously to those three, there's that grim feeling of defeat, because you know you'll probably never find out.
Unfortunately, I find that people are dishonest far more often than they're honest, though it usually isn't malicious lying, but rather things like omission, or unnecessary sugar-coating, or things like that. Still, it causes me to feel like people as a whole seem inherently disinclined to just speak their mind, which hinders the capability of others to react and proceed in productive ways.
To cite an example:
Roleplayer X and Roleplayer Y have characters who are involved in some long-term RP. Maybe it's a relationship story, maybe their characters have just been good buddies, maybe they're old comrades in the same FC - the exact nature of the RP doesn't matter. Suffice it to say, there's a solid link in their stories at this point.
Roleplayer X has seemed a little distant. X hasn't been in-game as much, and hasn't been as active on their FC's website, either. When Y asks if X is okay, X just says things are just busy with their RL but everything's okay.
Roleplayer X then announces "officially" that they are going to take a brief break for a few days to focus on RL things and get them resolved, but that they'll be available via their out-of-game communication if anyone needs anything. No closure is offered for their RP, because they're claiming they'll be back in a few days.
For a couple of days, people get responses. Then nothing. A week goes by - more than the stated few days. Two weeks. It becomes greater than two weeks since literally anybody has heard a word from X.
What happened to X? Did the thing with their RL lead to arrest and imprisonment? Hospitalized injury? Death? Does X intend to return at all - should Y come up with some reason, lacking any input from X at all, for why Y is able to just move on from X (because if Y were realistic, given the bond between the characters, Y should be spending months of RP time trying to figure out what happened to X's character, including search parties that are fruitless efforts, and so on).
Does X ever return? How long should Y and the others wait before concluding that X isn't coming back?Â
Meanwhile, the truth here is simple to determine. The truth is that X has either met a fate where X is literally incapable of responding to communication (jail, hospitalized, and death are about the only ones I can think of), or, X just wasn't feeling engaged by the game or the group of people, and has decided to move on with doing other things.Â
Why is that the truth? Because if X actually cares about these people, there's no amount of being busy that would remove the capability of sending out a quick message every few days to touch base. That takes like five minutes. You literally can't be so busy that you can't find five minutes to let people that you consider friends know that you're okay and still coming back. Short of, as mentioned, being jailed, in a hospital, or dead. Even if X's internet was shut off, or X became unexpectedly homeless, libraries still exist (with those weird dead-tree-wafer things on shelves) and have internet access. X also probably has friends and relatives in real life, whom X could ask, "Hey guys, mind if I use your computer/phone for just a sec to let some friends of mine know that I'm alive and okay?"
Honesty. Honesty would save X from having all those positive memories of the player and their RP stories become tainted by the uncertainty of their ultimate fate, both IC and OOC, and the lingering shadow of probable lies. All X would've had to do was tell everyone, "Hey guys, I've had a lot of fun, but I'm starting to feel a little burned out on this, so I'm going to be focusing on some other hobbies/games/characters/whatever for awhile. I may or may not reply to out-of-game communication because if I start to feel like I'm being pressured to return before I'm ready, or if I start to feel like I'm being guilted, I may feel the urge to withdraw altogether. To cover the bases ICly, we'll say my character has decided to embark on a journey alone for awhile, so that you can all continue on with your stories while I'm gone, and that way if I end up not returning at all, at least I know you guys will be okay."
See, that's someone with integrity. That's someone who is an actual friend to the people they've claimed are their friends. I find, unfortunately, that it's very rare. Most often, people string together some implausible excuses as they gradually peter down their time, and then disappear to leave you feeling disappointed and sad that you once again took it to heart when someone said they were your friend and they seem to have not meant it, and at the same time, feeling guilty that you're upset about that, because for all you know they've been hit by a bus, so you're also worried, but then... simultaneously to those three, there's that grim feeling of defeat, because you know you'll probably never find out.
Lydia Lightfoot ~ The Reliquarian's Guild «Relic» ~ Lavender Beds, Ward 12, #41
This player has a sense of humor. If the content of the post suggests otherwise, please err on the side of amusement and friendship, because that's almost certainly the intent. We're all on the same team: Team Roleplayer! Have a smile, have a chuckle, and have a slice of pie. Isn't pie great?
This player has a sense of humor. If the content of the post suggests otherwise, please err on the side of amusement and friendship, because that's almost certainly the intent. We're all on the same team: Team Roleplayer! Have a smile, have a chuckle, and have a slice of pie. Isn't pie great?
