i have a whole bunch of insecurities that I try to hide. I'll attempt to explain some of them.
1.) I put a hell of a lot of work into Ryanti's family and history. It's enough to make my wiki a mess. That combined with my tenancy to paragraph RP often makes me feel insecure about people not wanting to put up with all that detail and going off to find a better RP partner. I feel like sometimes I've overwhelmed people. I've had RP's simply discontinue because of it.
2.) Because of Ryanti's job being the way it is, because his life is very messy and because of his upbringing, he's what Warren calls a 'smooth operator'. It's an outlet for him. It keeps him sane and keeps him feeling alive. I'm not ashamed to say that I practice ERP when the story is right, and declare me bold for even saying that I actually enjoy it (*gasp*) but sometimes I feel like because my character and young and wants to live a little, that people will automatically think I have ulterior motives every time my character speaks to a woman.
3.) I don't wanna go into this much, but also super insecure people will judge me because I don't prefer fade to black and because sometimes my RP leads to ERP. It's happened before, where people just judge, and call me names even. But I'm not gonna change for people.
4.) Indirectly related to that, I'm super insecure that Ryanti will never find 'the one'. I know that's a silly worry, but part of what my passion for creating Ryanti's story is also carving out his future. That's a significant part of his future - finding love. But I've had terrible luck and more often than not my escapades end up with Ryanti getting slapped or furniture thrown at him. Don't get me wrong, it's hilarious. But I'm insecure that it's the best I can do with him.
5.) I'm insecure about Ryanti being a halfling. It was the only way my story could work and, at the same time, fulfill my OOC urge to play a male Miqo'te. But every time Ryanti admits to his blood in-game, there's a part of me that feels like I'm making a 'lolDrizzt' character and that I'm super edgy edgelord because he's a half breed.
6.) This is an insecurity that doesn't matter much anymore, but used to. Back when I first started RP'ing Ryanti, he was younger than he is now. Before he set out upon the world, before all of his previous character development, Ryanti was pretty rascist, and looked down upon the lower class. Now not so much, but there was definitely a time where my OOC self thought I was interacting with great characters, and I knew I had to make Ryanti act prejudiced towards them. And behind the keyboard, I was insecure as hell about having my RP partners hate me because of it. That was a difficult time for me, but Ryanti has since grown past that.
7.) I make extremely bad typos out of nowhere sometimes because my mind is always on something. I feel like shit every time I make them.
1.) I put a hell of a lot of work into Ryanti's family and history. It's enough to make my wiki a mess. That combined with my tenancy to paragraph RP often makes me feel insecure about people not wanting to put up with all that detail and going off to find a better RP partner. I feel like sometimes I've overwhelmed people. I've had RP's simply discontinue because of it.
2.) Because of Ryanti's job being the way it is, because his life is very messy and because of his upbringing, he's what Warren calls a 'smooth operator'. It's an outlet for him. It keeps him sane and keeps him feeling alive. I'm not ashamed to say that I practice ERP when the story is right, and declare me bold for even saying that I actually enjoy it (*gasp*) but sometimes I feel like because my character and young and wants to live a little, that people will automatically think I have ulterior motives every time my character speaks to a woman.
3.) I don't wanna go into this much, but also super insecure people will judge me because I don't prefer fade to black and because sometimes my RP leads to ERP. It's happened before, where people just judge, and call me names even. But I'm not gonna change for people.
4.) Indirectly related to that, I'm super insecure that Ryanti will never find 'the one'. I know that's a silly worry, but part of what my passion for creating Ryanti's story is also carving out his future. That's a significant part of his future - finding love. But I've had terrible luck and more often than not my escapades end up with Ryanti getting slapped or furniture thrown at him. Don't get me wrong, it's hilarious. But I'm insecure that it's the best I can do with him.
5.) I'm insecure about Ryanti being a halfling. It was the only way my story could work and, at the same time, fulfill my OOC urge to play a male Miqo'te. But every time Ryanti admits to his blood in-game, there's a part of me that feels like I'm making a 'lolDrizzt' character and that I'm super edgy edgelord because he's a half breed.
6.) This is an insecurity that doesn't matter much anymore, but used to. Back when I first started RP'ing Ryanti, he was younger than he is now. Before he set out upon the world, before all of his previous character development, Ryanti was pretty rascist, and looked down upon the lower class. Now not so much, but there was definitely a time where my OOC self thought I was interacting with great characters, and I knew I had to make Ryanti act prejudiced towards them. And behind the keyboard, I was insecure as hell about having my RP partners hate me because of it. That was a difficult time for me, but Ryanti has since grown past that.
7.) I make extremely bad typos out of nowhere sometimes because my mind is always on something. I feel like shit every time I make them.
![[Image: 8wQ4Jkf.png?2]](http://i.imgur.com/8wQ4Jkf.png?2)
![[Image: orVQTe3.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/orVQTe3.png?1)
