(04-25-2016, 11:34 AM)Kibu Wrote: I'm a painfully shy person IRL, and I've been out of the RP scene for years except with a couple of friends through forums or IMs that turn into something more like collaborative writing. I worry that I'm so new to this game and so rusty with RP that anything I do is going to sound totally noobish, contrived, and un-engaging.
I got to do a little RP with some amazing players the other night who were absolutely fantastic. But going into it I almost had a panic attack, even though we'd talked a bit before and I'd been invited into it. I still spent a good 5-10 minutes shaking like a chihuahua in front of my computer and almost broke and ran. I feel like I'm a burden and doing anything with me is a waste of time, partly because I take too long to ponder my response and so it feels like I'm replying excessively slow and partly because I really just don't know things.
I guess overall I'm just exceptionally insecure all around.
I feel you there, cept I'm not shy IRL, my wife has social anxiety disorder so I understand what it's like to be shy in person. However in game I'm extremely shy. I started my MMO career with PvE, then moved to PvP, and when Rift came out I decided I didn't like the communities of PvE/PvP servers anymore to many "Brah L2P nub" and other various forms of childish behavior.
I've been playing on RP servers for awhile now, but I've never roleplayed. I want to so bad but I can't. I sit there every night trying to create a storyline for my character Castian Kensaki, but when I get something nailed down I start to second guess it. Like at first I wanted Castian to be a shinobi/bodyguard so I leveled a NIN to get access to the class gear, but that changed when I saw alot of people and got alot of whispers about how they too were shinobi or bodyguards and wanted me to join their free company, but when I'd observe them or talk with them they'd be way to imposing for me to jump in. Then a friend I made(who no longer plays it seems) told me her character was a bodyguard type so I changed my RP story cause I really wanted to RP with her(doesn't seem right to have a bodyguard guard another).
Well I changed my story to being a Wander/Ronin since I'm almost positive they'll release Samurai at some point(I hope). And have joined an FC and farming Aery/Vault for my RP set so I could finally roleplay, but I can't. I sit there all night thinking about how all these experienced roleplayers would look at me and think I'm stupid or ignore me completely because my backstory is too generic. Or I sit there and think of how people won't want to RP with me because I play on ps4 and my chat response is delayed because I have to put down my controller to type on my keyboard, and I have to extend my chatlog to full screen cause I can't adjust it and sometimes jump by accident. So I end up staying in the duty finder all day doing what I do best while I get bored and burned out on the game because my desire seems to be so far out of reach that I just run the same content over and over.
Then there is what I want from an RP story. I'm a romantic, I want my character to fall in love, I want to explore a storyline where he and a girl travel the world together doing all sorts of things while their bond strengthens to the point of an RP wedding and beyond. But I can't go out there and meet characters and work for that kind of story because I have what I guess could be best explained as stage fright. Or there is the fear that I'll get attached to a character and the person behind that character will stop playing the game all together effectively ending whatever story we had or could have had.
Right now the best RP story I can think of is "Oh I'm a merc, I go out drink in the tavern telling war stories, then go kill more stuff." because that is all that seems like is open to me character wise. Add that to the fear of trying to join RP with already established characters makes roleplay a very daunting and trying experience.
