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Caspar · **10-18-2016, 06:17 PM**

(10-18-2016, 05:56 PM)Vincent Sarkoza Wrote: yeah i figured as much lol, the backstory thing i was just curious about. If it werent you guys i was probably gonna kill it anyway. That aside though, are the gear too far fetched?

Speaking only of the gear, it's probably not so much any single item he uses so much as the combination of then all at once.

You should consider doing as Verad suggested and not worrying about keeping a detailed inventory, and/or narrowing it down to the few you really want him to use.

Thematically it is a very busy sheet. It's my opinion that the various abilities and items he carries clash with one another on a conceptual level. The Ninja are supposed to be stealthy but his unique skill turns you into a voidsent, which are abomination to Eorzea and draw considerable negative attention. It clashes conceptually with the existing mudra abilities. He's a Doman shinobi as far as I can tell, but his gear seems optimized for big fights and explosions. Not that Ninja can't do this mind you, it just seems kinda random and not very fitting.

Above all else, pay attention to the "what, why, how" of your character's abilities. What narrative purpose do these gadgets serve? Why does his clan have voidsent transformation on their menu? How did he master so many weapons at a young age and what consequences were there? Look at every aspect of your character and ask yourself if it's really needed, or just there because you think it's cool. You will find by paring things down to abilities that are thematically consistent with each other and the world, it gives you more room to develop him and wider options RP wise. If they already have so much, how would they progress, if at all? If they've already faced major challenges beyond most people, why should anything challenge him?

Need some opinions thanks :)

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