
In the present day, I believe you're correct and that Doma's supposed to have been razed to the ground - most importantly that temple at the centre of the nation is gone, I think? You're right, the NPCs are very adamant that Doma's flat-out gone and there's nothing to go back to, and it's unlikely the lore book would contradict that unless those NPCs were somehow mistaken.
As for au ra clan relations - I believe that's correct lore-wise, but for sake of convenience it's something a lot of RPers ignore? I think? In my experience?
My xaela do trust raen, but that's a deliberate character trait (one is Malaguld - the tribe that accepts raen as members - and the other... has his reasons), and while my raen doesn't exactly trust them, there's a certain degree of acknowledgement that the situation in Eorzea is different and that open bigotry isn't going to be accepted by bystanders a lot of the time.
But, like... since it's usually courteous not to blow up at other characters without OKing it with the players first, a lot of people handwave about it to keep the peace. Especially during social RP events where the main purpose of the evening is to make friends, IC and OOC, it's something people are wary of introducing.
As for au ra clan relations - I believe that's correct lore-wise, but for sake of convenience it's something a lot of RPers ignore? I think? In my experience?
My xaela do trust raen, but that's a deliberate character trait (one is Malaguld - the tribe that accepts raen as members - and the other... has his reasons), and while my raen doesn't exactly trust them, there's a certain degree of acknowledgement that the situation in Eorzea is different and that open bigotry isn't going to be accepted by bystanders a lot of the time.
But, like... since it's usually courteous not to blow up at other characters without OKing it with the players first, a lot of people handwave about it to keep the peace. Especially during social RP events where the main purpose of the evening is to make friends, IC and OOC, it's something people are wary of introducing.