Are you on?
Bzzzzzzzt…
Hello?
State name.
D’Lum Rhen.
Voice pattern unknown.
“What?â€
No official record of D’Lum Rhen.
How about Lum then?
No official record of Lum.
Uh…can we just start over?
Initializing personality module.  Lum…
Yes?
Lum, I haven’t spoken in 1902 days.  We haven’t spoken in 1902 days.  Where have you been?
Apologies, History. Â I was detained.
You could have written a letter.
I wasn’t aware that you read.
I would if you bothered to write.  Now, what do you mean by ‘detained’?
Everyone at the Battle of Carteneau was detained.
Rubbish. Â Everyone at the Battle of Cartenau was killed.
We were placed out of time.
Are you saying you survived Bahamut’s wrath?
Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.  I just woke up.
By the Twelve…but-  Bah.  Never mind.  Five years is quite a nap.  I trust you’re well rested?
Rested, yes. Â And hungry. Â I need to earn some gil.
Yes, well, for a person of your vast talents that shouldn’t prove to difficult.  I doubt brothels have become any less popular while you were busy…whatever did you say you were doing again?
I hate this personality of yours. Â Why did Captain Daru make you so nasty?
I don’t think he knew there were any other options.  What did he know about Magitek?
Can we just record an entry for today and be done with it?
Madam, I am the official Highly Intelligent System To Objectively Record Yore assigned to Captain Tull Daru of the Immortal Flames.  I don’t think it would be proper to fratenize with…whoever you are.
You’ve already recorded my log entries, History.  Captain Daru is-
A great man. Â A paragon to strive towards. Â An invincible soldier in full command of the men in his company. Â Where is he?
He’s dead.
Could be anywhere then.
Will you take down my log entry now?
Well…I…er…What’s your name?
D’Lum Rhen.  Call me Lum.
And your rank?
Private First Class Rhen of the 3rd Battalion, Special Medical Operations assigned to the Dangerous Creatures Unit.
You’re a monster hunter?
Well, a healer.
Why would anyone heal monsters?
They…  Listen.  I was a healer who worked with the monster hunters.
You say ‘were.’  Good idea.  Best go AWOL.  When they find out you’ve been hiding from them for five years…
I didn’t go absent.  Loiuscroix put us all to sleep.
Mother warned me there would be days like this.
You’re a machine, History.  I’m sure you don’t have a mother.
Fine.  Crush all of my hopes and dreams and destroy my fantasies.  Just because you’re made out of meat you think yourself superior?  I could activate my self-destruct mechanism...
Before that could you read back my former entries?
I already told you, we’ve never met.  You have no former entries.  You’ve never recorded any stories with me before.
That’s strange.  I guess you were damaged.
I assure you I am in perfect working order, Lum.
Fine, well.  Damaged or not, let’s start again.
Bzzzzzzzt…
Hello?
State name.
D’Lum Rhen.
Voice pattern unknown.
“What?â€
No official record of D’Lum Rhen.
How about Lum then?
No official record of Lum.
Uh…can we just start over?
Initializing personality module.  Lum…
Yes?
Lum, I haven’t spoken in 1902 days.  We haven’t spoken in 1902 days.  Where have you been?
Apologies, History. Â I was detained.
You could have written a letter.
I wasn’t aware that you read.
I would if you bothered to write.  Now, what do you mean by ‘detained’?
Everyone at the Battle of Carteneau was detained.
Rubbish. Â Everyone at the Battle of Cartenau was killed.
We were placed out of time.
Are you saying you survived Bahamut’s wrath?
Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.  I just woke up.
By the Twelve…but-  Bah.  Never mind.  Five years is quite a nap.  I trust you’re well rested?
Rested, yes. Â And hungry. Â I need to earn some gil.
Yes, well, for a person of your vast talents that shouldn’t prove to difficult.  I doubt brothels have become any less popular while you were busy…whatever did you say you were doing again?
I hate this personality of yours. Â Why did Captain Daru make you so nasty?
I don’t think he knew there were any other options.  What did he know about Magitek?
Can we just record an entry for today and be done with it?
Madam, I am the official Highly Intelligent System To Objectively Record Yore assigned to Captain Tull Daru of the Immortal Flames.  I don’t think it would be proper to fratenize with…whoever you are.
You’ve already recorded my log entries, History.  Captain Daru is-
A great man. Â A paragon to strive towards. Â An invincible soldier in full command of the men in his company. Â Where is he?
He’s dead.
Could be anywhere then.
Will you take down my log entry now?
Well…I…er…What’s your name?
D’Lum Rhen.  Call me Lum.
And your rank?
Private First Class Rhen of the 3rd Battalion, Special Medical Operations assigned to the Dangerous Creatures Unit.
You’re a monster hunter?
Well, a healer.
Why would anyone heal monsters?
They…  Listen.  I was a healer who worked with the monster hunters.
You say ‘were.’  Good idea.  Best go AWOL.  When they find out you’ve been hiding from them for five years…
I didn’t go absent.  Loiuscroix put us all to sleep.
Mother warned me there would be days like this.
You’re a machine, History.  I’m sure you don’t have a mother.
Fine.  Crush all of my hopes and dreams and destroy my fantasies.  Just because you’re made out of meat you think yourself superior?  I could activate my self-destruct mechanism...
Before that could you read back my former entries?
I already told you, we’ve never met.  You have no former entries.  You’ve never recorded any stories with me before.
That’s strange.  I guess you were damaged.
I assure you I am in perfect working order, Lum.
Fine, well.  Damaged or not, let’s start again.
