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Edgar · **10-12-2014, 02:21 PM**

WARNING: THIS THREAD MAY CONTAIN DISCUSSIONS NOT CONSIDERED SAFE FOR WORK.

I've been brooding over whether or not to post this thread for a long, long time, but now, I've finally decided that it needs to be done.

Let's get this out of the way right now; this is not a thread solely for ERPers. This thread is about your character and their views on everything that has to do with sexual relations, from prostitution, to male and female dominance, to willingness to perform the act, to their understanding of its effect on relationships, and so on and so forth. It can also be about how sex has affected your overall roleplay and how much of a role it has in your stories. It's basically one big brainstorm over a specific topic that just so happens to bleed into a lot of different areas.

I want you guys to really dig your heels deep into this one and think. This is obviously an adult topic, so I expect all of you to approach it with an adult mindset. If you're uncomfortable about the topic in the slightest, then don't post about how bad it is, simply avoid this thread altogether. This isn't a roast for sex-based roleplay.

So, put your thinking caps on, open your minds, and let's be civil as we delve into a very dirty topic. And to a certain Freelance Wizard, please keep a close eye on this discussion to make sure things don't go sour. You have my trust.

Roswyn · **10-12-2014, 03:12 PM**

Ooooh. Iffy subject. I'll go first. :3

Roswyn, as a character, stands as an interesting dichotomy to stereotypicalÂ male/female roles.

She is heterosexual and is notoriously not interested in very many men and having poor taste of those she is interested in. However, those that have managed to get close to her on a personal or sexual basis have discovered that once she drops those barriers she is radically different to how she presents herself in public.

Anytime she begins a more intimate relationship with anyone she scared to death it will affect how people see her. She is normally authoritative, strong-willed, and nigh "bitchy" with how she handles business. She refuses to let herself be defined by a relationship and it is -always- backburnered to the image of herself that she keeps, usually to the dismay of whomever she happens to be seeing.

The irony here, is she finds herself unable to be attracted to anyone that cannot stand up to the force of her personality. As a result, she tends to be much more submissive behind closed doors but once the doors open she changes completely.

As far as sexually, she is still very much developing. "Novice" might be the appropriate term. ERP itself is typically not a focus of my roleplay but I do think there is a fair amount of character development that can happen during it and I do like exploring how it affects Roswyn and how she feels about her partner, sex in general, and "learning" in that department. With enough experience maybe she'll be able to learn to juggle her professionally authoritative nature with a relationship. That being said, the development is not always there and I do tend to fade to black more often than not.

FreelanceWizard · **10-12-2014, 03:13 PM**

<magicAdminHat>

Sure, I'll keep an eye on it. Smile

We've actually had really solid discussions on contentious topics lately, a trend I hope continues! Thumbsup

</magicAdminHat>

With the magic admin hat off...

I feel sexuality is a fairly key element of "heavy" RP, or at the very least RP that focuses on character development. In real life, sexuality is a Big Deal; in RP, why a character chooses to (or doesn't choose to) engage in sex acts, what they do, how they do it, and with whom can significantly alter the character or explore and inform parts of their characterization. Even you don't RP out the actual sex acts, knowing these things about your character and anyone they might be in a relationship with can spark some good RP.

For example, L'yhta is largely heterosexual. She is, however, currently in a homosexual relationship with someone; it grew out of a very close friendship. This makes an interesting point about her, namely that she's definitely the sort of person where strong emotional attachment is a key element for sexual attraction. However, since she's become sexually active, she's been noticing men more, and so now she's starting to have some doubts and urges that are weighing on her. In bed, she's playful, fairly selfish, and a little feral; the latter of these are a source of shame and are why she largely doesn't feel comfortable talking about sex even with her very close friends.

If I'd just ignored her sexuality entirely, I'd have never been able to RP this tension in her life and the door wouldn't be open to her doing some incredibly stupid and insensitive things (like clumsily flirting with people while her girlfriend is around). I'd be missing out on some opportunities for awkward conversations and her seeking out people who might otherwise not have made a particular impression on her.

So, yeah. Sexuality's important in RP, I think. You can ignore it, but I think you get a richer RP experience if you at least consider how a major part of a character's life affects them -- and you can do that without doing a single ERP scene if you don't want to.

Gaspard · **10-12-2014, 03:14 PM**

Well first off, I find the subject of Sexuality quite Important for Roleplaying. Not out of an ERP standpoint, but simply because Sexuality is a huge cornerstone of our minds, and it influences our behavior just as much. So when you want to portray a Character realistically, sexuality has a certain foothold aswell in it.

I mean, a sexually inexperienced Character may be far more shy and flustered when characters of the other sex make advances on them, while someone who's known to 'indulge' himself might simply be annoyed and put off. To portray such reactions adequately you need atleast a basic Idea how your character works sexually.

While we're well off from Freuds concept of 'Sex is everything', it's still a relatively large foothold in our mind.Â

As for ERP, I consider ERP to be just a sub-form of RP. Some people RP business, others RP fights, the others RP sex scenes aswell. If it is part of your character, there's no need to stigmatize, demonize or just in general discard it as something 'filthy'. (Unless ofcourse that's a kink of yours -lejoke ). So I've absolutely no Quarrels with ERP whatsoever.

Flickering Ember · **10-12-2014, 03:23 PM**

I don't do it. At all. I have absolutely no interest in sex in real life, and I have no interest in it in any form of my entertainment. I don't even really like it as a story device, either. Most of the time when I see it in movies or there is any kind of fanservice (like in anime) I get extremely agitated.Â

I don't participate in ERP and am not interested but don't like talking about it either. I don't like listening to others poke fun at ERPers or insult them. I just don't like to talk about it. Suddenly, this post is very ironic.

As long as people don't tell me that I can't RP romance without ERP, then I don't care what anyone else does as long as they don't involve me in it.

Val · **10-12-2014, 03:33 PM**

As I've said before, we play adult characters living adult lives. Part of those adult lives involve sex at some point in them, and it's going to happen.

Val is a very sexual character. He lovesÂ intercourse because he likes making the woman feel good and revels in the attention they give him. It's a huge boost to his ego and, considering his borderline narcissism, it kind of just fits his character. It allows for very interesting RP since he's tied down and has to fight his personal urges in order to remain faithful to the woman he loves and cares for, rather than just having a.. bland, boring relationship.

Melfice, on the other hand, doesn't like people to touch him. He always wears gloves and keeps himself covered to avoid physical contact as much as possible.

Cyrus is very good-minded and sees sex as something that is incredibly taboo and should only be shared with the one you love.

Like Gaspard, I consider ERP to just be another form of RP. It's very intimate, yes, but it allows characters to share that intimacy. It gives the characters a chance to interact with one another on an incredibly deep level, and can help set the tone for the relationship itself. Thus, I see sexuality and intercourse in general to be an important factor in RP. Is it the onlyÂ thing that I RP? No, of course not. There are a lot of other things to get involved in as well, but as others have said, it definitely has an impact on the characters. Val, for example, is incrediblyÂ sweet on his wife when they are alone. He's very kind and very gentle, and while others may assume him to be a pompous ass, his significant other knows better. It adds another layer of depth to their relationship; a side that only she sees.

PkThunda · **10-12-2014, 03:38 PM**

Well well! This is my kind of thread- I love thinking and talking about character sexuality and it's place in the setting.

My current main character, Z'zhumii Umi is a courtesan. Sexuality is her business.
She is also asexual and aromantic.

I know, I know, you might be scratching your head a little at that.
Why would she end up in a profession that mainly revolves around sex and attraction? What does she get out of it?

Well, the answer to that is gil.
While she herself does not experience sexual or romantic attraction to anyone, sex is still pretty neato and the money people pay her for it is nothing to scoff at.
Umi is in it solely for the business aspect, and she will play on the affections of others to keep the money flowing.

I do charge actual girl for ERP with others on Umi- It actually helps keep my roleplay from devolving solely into smut.
Since the cost is so high, most people won't bother to try and engage Umi for that kind of roleplay, which is nice when I want to focus on plots and events.

I recently (like, a few minutes ago!) finished my big guide on courtesans in history and RP, so it's a big obvious on how open I am with character and setting sexuality xD

allgivenover · **10-12-2014, 03:43 PM**

I'm all for it, and double so when it serves a purpose other than OOC satisfaction. More than a few times I've had Rakka'li engage because he has poor impulse control and wouldn't turn down the chance, though more than a few times I've been OOCly bored of what was going on. I'm not a fan of telling people how my character is, so instead of telling people that Rakka'li had a habit of jumping into bed frequently with women I had him actually do it IC. I think this earned him a solid reputation as a skirt-chaser and a charmer. To me this is way better than just writing that he "has a way with women" or something to that effect on his character sheet.

I never insist on ERPing out an entire scene, there's been plenty of occasions where what happened was simply skipped over after deciding on the details OOC. Sometimes this has been a blessing for me as I don't think I could sit through every one of his encounters.

After spending so much time building that reputation, I had an event occur that put him off casual encounters entirely. Now I'm having a good deal of fun breaking away from that expectation that a year of shameless skirt-chasing has built.

So, in the end, yes. Sex has been a big part of roleplay with Rakka'li. He could not be properly byronic without it.

Pumpkinweed · **10-12-2014, 03:51 PM**

I was worried that this was an atomic bomb waiting to go off, but because I see everyone being civil, I'll toss in my two gil.

Does erotic role-play direct my character? To be blunt- no, because it isn't the basis for which Gus was made. When I sign on, I don't think: 'I can't wait for the sex later on!' because that just isn't that important. A character whose sole importance is based on who he/she boinks for a literal 4 hour session that emphasizes 10-15 minutes of actual sex is ridiculous in my view... but it does serve a purpose.

Yes, it's a chance for the couple to be intimate and grow in a manner that only both characters will understand, just like in real life... but I feel that often times, a lot of players get so focused on this aspect of role play that they can become agitated and/or allow out of character influences fuel their in character actions.

This usually happens most when and if a couple breaks up. I can't begin to tell you how many characters I've seen come and go because things didn't work out with another character and the player loses interest on their character... and disappears on a new alt made main.

Of course, there is nothing wrong inherently with this, but it's a repeat of something that I feel should never be the single most important aspect of any character.

Once a roll in the hay goes the first time, henceforth I personally fade to black and that leaves Gus time to go and do his normal shenanigans without the worry of out of character issues with his partner. I think this is the best way to go about it- but if a player and another player understand one another and understand their boundaries (or whatever) that's fine too. That's my opinion and it's how I play.

As for prostitution ERP, I personally don't understand it and while brothels exist and sex acts are around, I find it a bit peculiar as to why a player would want to play this type of character. Again, nothing wrong with it and people can do whatever they want in their role play, but I'd never play this kind of character or have business with such a character other than denying the services.

Coatleque · **10-12-2014, 03:56 PM**

I see it mainly as the conclusion of a plot, arc, or story. When it becomes a daily occurrence in RP, it kind of loses its meaning. Just like in RL, your character can start to have a certain reputation (unless that's what you are trying to go for).

Parvacake · **10-12-2014, 03:58 PM**

Well, let's see...

I'll start with M'subi because she's the most simplistic. She's incredibly hyper with a capacity to be sweet and shy, and due to her first and only mate she was starting to venture into romantic and sexual possibilities outside of the tribal ways she grew up with. However, he broke that delicate balance early on and after he left she was left more then skittish. She's only kissed three people her entire life: one having been her mate, one a male she spent a pleasent evening in Gridania with (well, technically he kissed her), and the last was her current lover. She's started venturing into the realm of sex again, and due to her last experiences she's garnered a much more submissive air.

Lili is...well. She's a bit eclectic.

She was with one man (her husband) up until about three or four years ago. Well, technically two but she was too drunk and doesn't remember so I don't count it very much. A few years after the Calamity she delved back into the world of sex, starting with a male escort of all things. So it helped shape her later on in that particular field.

Her sexual mindset usually changes when it comes to the person she's with. Some people bring out more dominant or submissive traits within her. While sex isn't a large part of the roleplay I do, I have had moments of pretty cool character development during such things. Especially when you add in realistic elements to sex and try not to make it super duper epic every time.

For example: Pulling out. Pregnancy scares. Pulling a muscle from overexertion. And then those times where some couples have conversations during sex itself.

Edgar · **10-12-2014, 04:06 PM**

(10-12-2014, 03:38 PM)PkThunda Wrote: Well well! This is my kind of thread- I love thinking and talking about character sexuality and it's place in the setting.

My current main character, Z'zhumii Umi is a courtesan. Sexuality is her business.
She is also asexual and aromantic.

I know, I know, you might be scratching your head a little at that.
Why would she end up in a profession that mainly revolves around sex and attraction? What does she get out of it?

Well, the answer to that is gil.
While she herself does not experience sexual or romantic attraction to anyone, sex is still pretty neato and the money people pay her for it is nothing to scoff at.
Umi is in it solely for the business aspect, and she will play on the affections of others to keep the money flowing.

I do charge actual girl for ERP with others on Umi- It actually helps keep my roleplay from devolving solely into smut.
Since the cost is so high, most people won't bother to try and engage Umi for that kind of roleplay, which is nice when I want to focus on plots and events.

I recently (like, a few minutes ago!) finished my big guide on courtesans in history and RP, so it's a big obvious on how open I am with character and setting sexuality xD

I'm scratching my head, but for a different reason.

Aesexual would imply she has no sex drive, which would make her position totally preposterous. Why would someone with no sex drive, even for the sake of gil, go through with sex? The answer is simple: They wouldn't. We're talking a total lack of libido, here; sex would be anything but neato.

Basically, it doesn't make sense to me. You define her as cunning, gil-seeking, and manipulative, playing on another's affections. That takes comprehension of those affections, and those sexual desires, and she doesn't have them because she simply doesn't feel them. Now, if she were merely indifferent to sex, instead of having zero libido as Aesexuals do, you could totally pull this off. She could just have a view where sex is just a tool in her arsenal, and not think highly of it. She could theoretically continue being aromantic in her more serious relationships, because she sees no reason for sex in a serious relationship, but it wouldn't bleed into her source of income, because she would have the desire still there to actually want to go through with the tasks required. Aromantic works for this situation; Aromantic AesexualÂ does not.

That's just my opinion, though. You've always struck me as rather knowledgeable what with your database on Courtesans, so I have a feeling I might be missing something.

Tiergan · **10-12-2014, 04:08 PM**

The actual act of sex doesn't come up too often at all in my RP as romance RP is not a huge priority for me. (Give me all the epic battles, bitter rivalries, and save-the-world quests, pls.) With Romance RP itself, I like it to be a source of conflict as opposed to only being about the warm fuzzies. Conflict is the driver of any good story, so it is simply much more fun for me to RP out all the tension, confusion, and coiled undefined feelings of attraction or a love that can't actually happen than it is for me to RP out a traditional romantic relationship where everything is going swimmingly.

In terms of my characters -- Tiergan is pansexual, but he prefers women slightly more than he does men.

His history is very violent and full of unhealthy relationships both intimate and not. His last major romantic relationship in the past ended with the death of his lover and the sense that he catastrophically failed to protect the woman he loved. He badly hurt the last two people he attempted to romance in current times in ways that ended the courtship and largely sees the failed relationships as being a direct result of the kind of unpleasant person his life experiences have forged him into.

This, along the death of the previously mentioned lover, makes him incredibly skittish of romancing anyone. He responds very poorly when someone makes advances upon him unless it is extremely clear that it is simply a casual, light, friendly encounter that is not intended to be taken to another level. He sees casual intimacy amongst close friends as normal because of his history, but never, ever initiates (mostly because he knows it is not 'normal' for the rest of society.)

His current 'lover' (and he'll refuse to call Zaius that with his very last breath) is someone Tiergan goes back to time and time again for two reasons: 1) They have a great deal of history together and have had many of the same life experiences. This makes Tiergan confident that he couldn't possibly harm Zaius, no matter what he really does. Nothing has to be held back.

2) Tiergan has never won a fight against the other miqo'te. While it is part of what infuriates him about Zaius and has been one of the many drivers of an old conflict between them, it is also what makes Tiergan confident that Zaius will never need any kind of protection from anyone.

Lurial is pansexual like Tiergan, but trying to become her lover is like trying to break into Fort Knox dressed in neon yellow with blaring sirens strapped to your back and a sign that says "AH'M IN YO' BASE. KILLIN' YO MANS." She might engage in a casual fling here or there, but is wary of manipulation due to her job (information broker!) and her past history. Thus, she has no problem with the idea of simply not having a lover ever. Sex and romance just never come up in my RP with her unless someone brings it up first.

Furious Storm is largely heterosexual, but has looked at men who are pretty enough to look like women with very confused feelings that eventually settle into a form of "I like what I like" acceptance. Sex never really comes up in his RP either and it's probably because, he's on the older side of the spectrum (45) and thus feels like a huge, gross creeper when catching himself thinking anything remotely sexy about people who are in in their mid-twenties or younger. 99% of the time, if he's acting friendly and sweet on a woman, he's proooobably trying to act more like their big jolly protective uncle as opposed to their big, jolly, date-material.

Leilani Leilai is 15 and a minor and thus there will be no sex involved with her RP EVER. The most she'll ever have are cute unrealistic crushes on super tall people that are way, way older than her that I OOCly know will never come to pass, because they're supposed to just be cute unrealistic crushes that will never come to pass.

PkThunda · **10-12-2014, 04:17 PM**

[quote pid=115748 dateline=1413144410]

Quote:I'm scratching my head, but for a different reason.

Aesexual would imply she has no sex drive, which would make her position totally preposterous. Why would someone with no sex drive, even for the sake of gil, go through with sex? The answer is simple: They wouldn't. We're talking a total lack of libido, here; sex would be anything but neato.

Basically, it doesn't make sense to me. You define her as cunning, gil-seeking, and manipulative, playing on another's affections. That takes comprehension of those affections, and those sexual desires, and she doesn't have them because she simply doesn't feel them. Now, if she were merely indifferent to sex, instead of having zero libido as Aesexuals do, you could totally pull this off. She could just have a view where sex is just a tool in her arsenal, and not think highly of it. She could theoretically continue being aromantic in her more serious relationships, because she sees no reason for sex in a serious relationship, but it wouldn't bleed into her source of income, because she would have the desire still there to actually want to go through with the tasks required. Aromantic works for this situation; Aromantic AesexualÂ does not.

That's just my opinion, though. You've always struck me as rather knowledgeable what with your database on Courtesans, so I have a feeling I might be missing something.

[/quote]

"AnÂ asexualÂ is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. UnlikeÂ celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. There is considerable diversity among theÂ asexual community; each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat differently. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than mostÂ sexualÂ people. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy or sexualÂ abstinence, which are behaviours, while asexuality is generally considered to be a sexual orientation. Some asexuals do participate in sex, for a variety of reasons."

Asexual people can and do engage in sex- they are not unfeeling robots incapable of biological arousal or an understanding of sexual behavior.

Parvacake · **10-12-2014, 04:24 PM**

(10-12-2014, 04:06 PM)Edgar Wrote:
(10-12-2014, 03:38 PM)PkThunda Wrote: Well well! This is my kind of thread- I love thinking and talking about character sexuality and it's place in the setting.

My current main character, Z'zhumii Umi is a courtesan. Sexuality is her business.
She is also asexual and aromantic.

I know, I know, you might be scratching your head a little at that.
Why would she end up in a profession that mainly revolves around sex and attraction? What does she get out of it?

Well, the answer to that is gil.
While she herself does not experience sexual or romantic attraction to anyone, sex is still pretty neato and the money people pay her for it is nothing to scoff at.
Umi is in it solely for the business aspect, and she will play on the affections of others to keep the money flowing.

I do charge actual girl for ERP with others on Umi- It actually helps keep my roleplay from devolving solely into smut.
Since the cost is so high, most people won't bother to try and engage Umi for that kind of roleplay, which is nice when I want to focus on plots and events.

I recently (like, a few minutes ago!) finished my big guide on courtesans in history and RP, so it's a big obvious on how open I am with character and setting sexuality xD

I'm scratching my head, but for a different reason.

Aesexual would imply she has no sex drive, which would make her position totally preposterous. Why would someone with no sex drive, even for the sake of gil, go through with sex? The answer is simple: They wouldn't. We're talking a total lack of libido, here; sex would be anything but neato.

Basically, it doesn't make sense to me. You define her as cunning, gil-seeking, and manipulative, playing on another's affections. That takes comprehension of those affections, and those sexual desires, and she doesn't have them because she simply doesn't feel them. Now, if she were merely indifferent to sex, instead of having zero libido as Aesexuals do, you could totally pull this off. She could just have a view where sex is just a tool in her arsenal, and not think highly of it. She could theoretically continue being aromantic in her more serious relationships, because she sees no reason for sex in a serious relationship, but it wouldn't bleed into her source of income, because she would have the desire still there to actually want to go through with the tasks required. Aromantic works for this situation; Aromantic AesexualÂ does not.

That's just my opinion, though. You've always struck me as rather knowledgeable what with your database on Courtesans, so I have a feeling I might be missing something.

Having had asexual friends in college and having been with someone myself who was asexual, I think I can help answer this.

It sometimes becomes a mind over matter thing. People who are asexual, especially when it comes to the topic of sex, recognize that is fundamental for certain things. For example, most to all romantic relationships need physical intimacy and not everyone who is asexual will find and fall for another asexual partner. In this case, it's required for work.

Just because one is asexual doesn't mean they can't or won't have sex. It just means that they can live without it and still live a happy and normal life. But many that I know of aren't opposed to delving into sex if it's for their partner's happiness or to have a child. Just like, in this case, the character delves into it because it makes her a very good income.

Poll: Does Sex Have a Place in Your Roleplay? You do not have permission to vote in this poll.
Yes	88.80%	111	88.80%
No	11.20%	14	11.20%
Total		125 vote(s)	100%

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Sex and Your Character/Roleplay (NSFW Discussion)

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