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kura-ou · **08-29-2016, 03:44 AM**

(08-01-2016, 12:09 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: Unkind voices can sometimes speak disproportionately loud compared with those who offer praises and positivity.

I like your art. I've only had positive responses from you. I would like to continue to exchange currency for goods and services.

Q//~//Q Thank you so much, Warren. I really appreciate your wisdom and your encouragement, always. It's taken some time, but I'm getting excited over doing and finishing everyone's commissions and look forward to starting yours when the time comes QuQ

I'm going to do my best to focus on my happiness, productivity and future so I can continue to put my effort into creating "nice things" *^*)b

kura-ou · **08-29-2016, 04:09 AM**

(08-01-2016, 01:15 PM)McBeefÂ© Wrote: You're fine.

You can't help some things, but one thing you can help is being communicative. Most people are ok with delays, but long periods with know updates are bad.

Even just a "Things are crazy but I still plan to finish these!" every week or so can do a wonder for placating people's worries.

QAQ I also apologize for worrying you over your commission... I'm trying to get better at communicating... It's really hard for me to do it cross-platform as a super-introvert, so I'm trying to figure out a way I can just inform all my commissions at once, but I don't know which form of social media is most convenient for everyone @-@

I do thank you for your reminder, though ;;

P.S. I have extra gift ideas in addition to your commission... so I'm trying to learn more Photoshop tricks before I draw it out and implement it. I really appreciate your patience, McBeef and apologize for further trouble... Q^Q

kura-ou · **08-29-2016, 04:22 AM**

(08-01-2016, 01:19 PM)Caspar Wrote: I'm sorry to hear that it's been difficult for you. Don't let the negative posts get you down when there's so many others who have appreciated your work. Sometimes we want to make everyone happy and accomplish every goal set before us, and circumstances make that challenging. One of the things I noticed is that you took the time to respond to every commission with an individual posted response in the thread. At the time I thought it quaint, but then it occurred to me maybe you want to give every customer the same standard of service when accepting commissions and had set a bar for yourself to adhere to quality wise. I think regardless of real life getting in the way, that deserves respect.

I'm not that great at encouragement, so I think the most useful thing I can say is that art is your life (And I think you're great at it.) and life is your art. If so, then it's all the more important you take care of both. You might want to make everyone happy, but be conscious of what *you* want to do, or the number of commissions you can comfortably take on without undue stress to yourself. Likewise, if you focus solely on art and not on finding peace in your day to day life, won't it make it harder to put forward an effort you personally would be happy with? Â If you feel you're unhappy or struggling, take time to cool down, find your balance again, and when you've decompressed, then you can think about tie up loose ends and starting up again. Most people will understand if you're honest and speak candidly about the delay. That's what I think anyway.

Gosh, Caspar... Thank you so much for your kind comment and all of your encouragement (even if you say you're not good at it--it sure picked me up a lot Q//~//Q).

...I...honestly...find it very difficult to say anything positive about myself...but... Thank you so much, Caspar, for seeing the specks of good in me.

I want to do my best to be like you described so that I can move on to do nice things for others. It really means a lot to me that so many trusted me with their beloved characters, and I don't want to let them down.

Thank you again, Caspar. I'm going to try harder to get over this social anxiety/depression slump and communicate properly C:

kura-ou · **08-29-2016, 04:39 AM**

(08-01-2016, 01:38 PM)PhantasticPanda Wrote: Many people here have said that I've wanted to say. You're art is simply wonderful. I know what it feels like, to be brought down by the very few harsh comments I've come across in my life. I know the feeling of being depressed and lost and its something that I and many others have struggled through.

But please, do not let that hide you from all the wonderful things you have. Do not feel sad that your mom and your grandparents went out to help you. To have that sort of support and help for your own hobbies is something to look up to for any parent. You did what you could and did you best out there and there's a lot of admiration and respect to have there.

And if you need to, do not be afraid to slow down and take a break whenever you need to, from your studies or your art. Life can get hard at times but its important to recollect oneself and recover. Try not to burn yourself out. Funny enough, we have the same focus in our studies. I remember being lost, and I felt extremely bad that all my friends would graduate before me. But after some time to recollect myself, I was able to refocus onto the path I wanted to take, with some changes here and there.

Truly, I do hope you feel better soon as do many others. We understand that life happens, and it can happen to any of us. Best we do is support each other.

Q^Q Aww, thank you so much, PhantasticPanda... It's just been hard feeling that I wasted my elderly parents' efforts (I've never had grandparents because my parents were already over middle age and their parents had already passed by then), but I'm going to follow your advice. They supported me regardless of my successes or failures in art, and the best thing I can do is move on from my mistakes and improve.

And thank you so much for sharing your college experiences with me, too, PhantasticPanda... I remember feeling that way. I found that so long as you take your time into figuring out what you really want to do, like you said, that any time seen as "lost" before will just be like time you put in for your future. So long as you're happy and can afford the necessities and tiny rewards every now and then, I think that's what matters at the end of the college road C:

I hope that everything's well for you now, though, and if not, please know that I'll also be cheering for your happiness and successes, too ^^

kura-ou · **08-29-2016, 04:45 AM**

(08-01-2016, 02:59 PM)Aya Wrote: I love the headshot of Aya you did! As Warren says it is natural to be self-critical, and criticism often ends up sticking in one's mind more firmly than compliments, but I do hope that you see all of the people who enjoy your art and are happy to commission you!

As for that second jerk person, let him draw how he likes and charge what he wants, that has no impact on you! If people are willing to commission you then you're not asking too much! That's the way it works ^_^

Q//~//Q Awwww, thank you so much, Aya... ;/////; I'm going to do my best to focus my motivation on everyone's smiles at the end of each commission, like I did before.

And gosh, thanks QuQ)b I'm definitely working towards starting and finishing more commissions so that I can add more options people may like ^^ It's already a lot of fun inching towards the start of every commission--just have to keep at it as often as I can C:

kura-ou · **08-29-2016, 04:55 AM**

(08-01-2016, 05:27 PM)Roen Wrote: I am just going to pile on with everyone else here and tell you that I really liked the picture of Rae you drew for me. It was so lovely.

Do not let other people's criticisms be the only and loudest thing you remember. Just look at your commissions list to remind yourself that your art is liked! And I know there are plenty of arguments out there about who should charge what... art is all subjective! You charge what you think is fair and don't listen to others.

But first and foremost, take care of yourself first, then everything else.

Thank you so much, Roen Q//^//Q It was definitely a great joy being able to draw Rae and to know that you really liked your commission .////.

I'll do my best to listen to you and every kind soul who has commented Q//~//Q My art professor also said something to those lines about pricing...so I just have to get over this bubble of negativity and take yours and everyone's advice to heart.

Thank you again, Roen. I'm barely taking small steps forward after taking a few backwards, but I'm definitely going to do my best to feel better so I can continue making more people happy with my art C:

MaverickMissy · **08-29-2016, 10:28 AM**

So... as someone who suffers from Depression (and Anxiety, since the two LOVE to go hand-in-hand... the jerks), I TOTALLYÂ know where you're coming from. The simplest negativity can shoot me into what I call a downward spiral. I think myself completely worthless, not worth the air I breathe. I've even sunken so low that I've attempted suicide before. It sucks to get that low, but I've been there. I know what it's like to push people away because you feel like you're not worth their friendship, that something small you did is going to make them very angry with you. And when you actually do make them angry with you, you feel worse about yourself.Â

It's okay to feel that way.

Now, when I read the two comments you're focusing on (honestly, I know it's hard but don't do that. Just remember, it's water off a duck's back) I got curious. I honestly thought that the second comment was saying you do sloppy sketches or something that I'd expect from someone who doesn't have a good concept of anatomy when they draw. But imagine my surprise when I saw that your art is absolutely gorgeous!?! You have your own style, as do so many other artists. And the artist saying they draw better than you? That is indeed just their opinion, and it is SO WRONG to compare a style of art to someone else's. Because no drawing style is going to be the same as someone else's. And not everyone is going to like a certain style someone has. But if that person indeed draws as well as they claim, then they can draw their own damn art and stop putting other artists down.Â

I personally know a lot of artists who rely heavily on their commissions, so charging what they deem is fair for the work they put into a commission is essential to them. Someone else should never be the judge of what your art is worth, and if they try to tell you that your art is too expensive, then as far as I'm concerned they don't love it nearly as much as they claim.

This image here:

[Image: burning_flare_by_feohria-d5mi223.jpg]

[Image: burning_flare_by_feohria-d5mi223.jpg]

This is an image I commissioned from a friend who goes by the name Lilaccu. Her DeviantartÂ and her Tumblr. She is a wonderful person, and you can contact her any time you want. She has to stuggle with a lot of problems too, and I'm willing to bet you might find a friend in her like I did. She has a lot of people telling her that the money she asks for is too much, because we live in an era right now where people want good art for cheap. They don't care for the artist or the artist's feelings. And that's just wrong. People like that shouldn't determine your worth or the worth of your art. Only you should be able to do that.

Lilaccu also has people telling her that her art is disgusting because the art she draws for fun outside of commissions is Yuri art, because Lilaccu is gay.Â

But you know what? When you come across people like that, remember that they say these things for selfish reasons. They are being selfish. And their selfishness shouldn't determine how you feel about your worth.

But you know what? That piece above, I dropped about $65 for her to make it for me.

And your art, I would drop about the same. Because even though your style is different from her style, as far as I'm concerned your art is just as gorgeous. You put just as much love and care into the art you draw as Lilaccu does, and that's what makes it so worthwhile.

Learn from your mistakes. Take what time you need to feel better, and keep on swimming.Â

P.S. If none of this makes you feel better, just listen to this:

[youtube]cjPTBLIfPlg[/youtube]

kura-ou · **08-31-2016, 06:20 AM**

(08-01-2016, 07:01 PM)LystAP Wrote: I love your work! I still have it for my portrait!Â

Do not feel sad about what a few individuals may say about your work. You are a wonderful artist and I am jealous of your ability, yet admired the detail you put into our characters!Â

I am fine with my place on the waiting list, as I know you must have real life issues that afflict many individuals, especially depression. Prioritize your own health, and we will await your return with abated breath!

Thank you so much, LystAP Q//A//Q I'm still touched that you have it for your portrait ./////.

And thank you--ahhh, but gosh, I know that you have the potential to create even more awesome things! O//u//O)b

Q//~//Q And again, thank you, LystAP. I'm taking small steps in the face of some hardships, but it's far better than where I was before.

I greatly appreciate your encouragement, patience and understanding.

kura-ou · **08-31-2016, 06:37 AM**

(08-03-2016, 03:09 PM)Lyriell Wrote: I understand how you feel. I'm not an artist myself but I'm a Freelance Translator und also do some Marketing and even though 99% of my reviews are good there's always a Client that isn't satisfied and that will talk badly about me.Â

Don't let yourself get down by such things and if you don't feel good, don't force yourself. Art takes times more than anything else and rushing it is not the right way to go about it, no matter what anyone else things.

Wow, I'm really happy to know that you have 99% positive ratings, though Big Grin

(It's quite mean-spirited of that 1%, however. Good thing negatives are so rare for you ;; I'm sure that you worked hard to obtain your skills, and you don't need people spreading lies like that... I can sympathize with that Q-Q

I had 1 commissioner a few years back lie about my business practices when he made up an imaginary person to slander me...and I barely started doing commissions back then, so there weren't many positives or anyone who would be willing to stand up for me. I was already depressed and overworked before he posted it up, and after I responded to him, he privately berated me like I was trash. Even the sole project I worked on for another client on those same forums had all of my art pulled and replaced even though they initially liked my work.

As a freelancer yourself with so many positive ratings and highly valued skills, I hope that you never, ever have to come across anyone like I did, this type of "client from h***" Q^Q

I'm quite grateful when people tell me "take as much time as you need, I understand..." But those were very similar to what he said long ago, and he ended up treating me as subhuman... I'm still very fearful of that, but my limited time, energy, social anxiety and risk of further depression make it all the more difficult.

I'm trying, though... I love creating art, and I can't thank everyone enough, including you, for all of your advice and encouragement.

kura-ou · **08-31-2016, 06:48 AM**

(08-03-2016, 08:17 PM)LiadansWhisper Wrote: Charge what you want to charge, and if anyone bitches about it, tell them to pike off.

Or, alternatively, contact me, and I will tell them to pike off and to stop being a whiny brat, get a job, and come up with the money for said commission.

I will gladly do this for you. Just go art and things.

Q//~//Q Gosh, thank you so much, LiadansWhisper... I'm going to take your advice >A<)b

Thank you for your kindness and support, too O//~//O I will definitely let you know (and ahhh, your words speak the truth--I wish I had more backbone to tell off that kid ;; ).

And I'm doing just that OuO)b <33333 Thank you again for spreading good feels!

Tray'Ju · **08-31-2016, 04:51 PM**

Hi!

I don't know you, but reading your post got me feeling for you. I just wanted to come by and say, 85% of people in this world are good, open people who would like to see people doing well and succeeding. It defiantly sucks when that 15% do what they do. Tear, destroy, rip down (whether people or ideas) but know that even a stranger like me is rooting for you and thinks all the advice you've gotten is great stuff. Keep being a bad ass!

And my advice is, when you feel stressed or overwhelmed, just got for a thirty minute walk. It's what I do when the world seems to much. It reminds me all the pressures of the world aren't as big as they seem and just moving feels good.

Keep strong mate, and know you've got a lot of people rooting for you!

kura-ou · **09-07-2016, 06:28 AM**

(08-08-2016, 01:56 PM)Lililove Wrote: Never apologize for being sad <3 Everyone have moments and times where they crumble and fall. Just focus on doing what is best for you until you can help raise yourself up again. Talk to whoever you do business with and those that understand are great to have around! Those that don't? Give 'em the bird and toddle along.

<3

Thank you, Lililove Q//~//Q I do feel a bit bad because it can get out of control sometimes...and can be kind of unprofessional on top of my anxiety. I wish there was a way I could put it in my Terms of Service...because I always don't want to worry commissioners...but at the same time... I'm usually trying to recover and either get sucked in by the negativity or by...the art itself in an attempt to regain my love for art @-@;;;

I tend to offer complete redos of any botched commissions (for everyone in the FFXIV community, at least), but...the anxiety makes me kind of uncertain...

I'm doing my best to cope, though, and have instead made a tumblr for everyone to keep track *A*)b in addition to getting back to volunteering at the hospital (I've been able to make patients smile, so that's always a plus).

Thanks again, Lililove, for your advice and encouragement Q//~//Q

kura-ou · **09-07-2016, 06:40 AM**

(08-08-2016, 02:33 PM)Xerintha Wrote: As a creative sort myself and someone who deals with chronic depression and anxiety, I can completely understand everything you're saying. I know that when I'm at my lowest, I cut myself off from the world and hate myself for doing it. If you're not already in therapy, I would suggest you see what is available and try a couple therapists until you find one that clicks for you.Â

If you can find relief without medication that is the best way to go but sometimes a combination of therapy and medication is the best course of action. Medication can also help since brain chemicals and receptors are often out of whack for those of us in the chronic classifications. I would urge you to be mindful of those, though and don't be afraid to tell your doctor if it feels wrong. Not every medication works for every person.Â

Hormones can also play a huge part in this and there may be something out of balance there too (mine are!).

Dealing with this stuff is hard. Really hard. But you truly can find a way to stabilize without losing your creativity and drive. I promise! So big hugs from me and you've got all my well wishes, good thoughts, and prayers. Hollar if you need someone to talk to. Â

Omigoodness, for the longest time, I thought I was alone in my actions... Starting this thread helped me learn more from you and every one who's either also gone through or knew people who have... Thank you so much for your sympathy and for sharing your experiences Q-Q

I haven't gotten medication for my depression and anxiety, but I did recently buy multivitamins to help deal with the imbalanced biochemistry. A few years ago, that was what worked, and I hope that it's not too late to give it a try again. But if things get worse and I can't progress with my work, I will definitely make an appointment with my doctor. I'm doing my best to cope with it now with what I can myself because I'm afraid of burdening anyone ;; I hope that it's enough if I put all of my willpower into it *^*)b

And ahhh, thank you so much, Xerintha! *hugs you back*
I'm cheering for you, too~! May all of the bad feelings go away so that you can continue what keeps you happy Big Grin

*sends you happy feels with a bunch of moogles and nutkins* <33333

kura-ou · **09-07-2016, 06:51 AM**

(08-08-2016, 02:55 PM)Leih Wrote: I think everyone have said the same thoughts I have. Your art is great, and I am willing to buy more in the future. Don't let people that probably have nothing better to do but go around giving mean comments make you feel bad about what you do.Â

I also happen to have a very strong kind of chronic depression and I know how it feels to just be at the lowest for a time. It's something that happens and its not you fault. Don't blame yourself.Â

For now the most important thing is your health and your emotional stability. Focus on that and the rest will slowly work out.

Bonus Moogle cause moogles make everything better:Â

Gosh, thank you so much for your kind words, Leih Q//~//Q I've been doing my best to not let them get to me. I kind of regressed before I had ample time to reply to your advice and encouragement properly, but I'm slightly better now Q//A//Q)b

Q//~//Q I just hope that as I'm writing this, that you're okay... *hugs* If you're not okay, please know that I'm cheering for you to beat it soon, and if you're well, I want you to know that I'm also here cheering for your future happy events C:

*sends you moogles and nutkins* <33333

Raeje · **09-07-2016, 09:22 AM**

I have suffered through major depression and anxiety for over half of my life, (and I'm 30 this month) as well as suffering from both epilepsy and non epileptic attack disorder (which is linked to my anxiety). I just lost 2 grandparents in one month

I got through August, and now I am welcomed into September with seizures. The epileptic kind. I've had 6 in 3 days so far. I know this isn't a thread about me and my problems, so I'll stop whining about mine. What I'm eluding to is the fact that there have literally been 3 things that have gotten me through August and September so far:
- My mother (and the fact that she is visiting me in 2 weeks. I haven't seen her in 10 years).
-My boyfriend (who provides comedy and love to keep me happy when I need to be happy).
-And my writing. My writing always helps me through my problems, even when literally nothing else is available. If my boyfriend isn't around, and my mother can't Skype, I write. It works.Â

So even if you can't meet deadlines, or don't want the pressure of commissions, still don't give up on your art. Never give up on it. I looked at your work, and you're actually very good. Please don't give it up. It will help you through. You may not see it at the time, but eventually you will look back, and understand that it helped.

Lastly, NEVER apologize for being sad. You don't need to be sorry for having emotions. Emotions are natural human occurrences. Some of us have severe depression, and even we don't need to apologize. I'm not sorry I get depressed. I have a mental illness. I take medication. I'm not sorry. I'm sorry if I don't get the chance to RP with people because of it, I'm sorry if you don't see me in game because I sleep after having seizures, but I'm not sorry I have seizures. So don't be sorry. Own your depression, don't let it own you.

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[Discussion] I apologize for being sad :C

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes