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Seeking advice on dealing with conflict


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Seeking advice on dealing with conflict
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C'kayah Polaaliv
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#16
01-30-2014, 03:28 PM
(01-30-2014, 03:16 PM)ExKage Wrote:
(01-30-2014, 03:05 PM)Erik Mynhier Wrote: ...there is no law saying everyone on the server has to have interconnected stories, though a surprising number of us do.

Hope that helps.
I think this is a very poignant point. I don't expect to know each and everyone's character's stories and their plots. I should not expect to have them know mine. If they do interact I would definitely appreciate and also expect a little reciprocation that just as they would like their plot to head in X direction does not mean my plot needs to head in the same direction.

As far as I am aware, retconning things have happened. Perhaps you, your friend and the other RPer can get together OOC and "fix" parts where things went completely off course (maiming,death,etc).

If Natalie quits being Sultansworn, Kage's going to be a very disappointed Lalafell! /shot
We were able to deal with the situation with a bare minimum of retconning: the player who'd walked into the scene and then walked away left a hole in the scene that had to be filled. Otherwise, we kept everything as-is, as the scene itself was exquisite.
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#17
01-30-2014, 03:41 PM
(01-30-2014, 03:28 PM)C Wrote: We were able to deal with the situation with a bare minimum of retconning: the player who'd walked into the scene and then walked away left a hole in the scene that had to be filled. Otherwise, we kept everything as-is, as the scene itself was exquisite.
Ah I see! I meant in the case that it was wanted or needed, which it sounds like it wasn't really needed too much. I think that in the case where you both really wanted it or needed it, then an OOC chat would perhaps smooth it out. It would help with avoiding any possible misunderstandings at the very least. If not, as others said, you're free to walk away from it in my perspective.
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McBeefâ„¢v
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#18
01-30-2014, 03:55 PM
(01-30-2014, 03:28 PM)Ckayah Tia Wrote: We were able to deal with the situation with a bare minimum of retconning: the player who'd walked into the scene and then walked away left a hole in the scene that had to be filled. Otherwise, we kept everything as-is, as the scene itself was exquisite.

Yes, as Kayah says, it ended up turning out really well. It's just at a certain point I had to tell the other person, "That thing that you say is happening, well it's not happening". I was getting dragged off, and I told the character, OOC, Natalie isn't going to let Kayah die in the street, how is she going to get back out there?" and the response was essentially, "She isn't". When I sort of started telling the player that I didn't find that acceptable, she more or less said, "Fine do what you want" and walked off.

I felt really bad about it, and I didn't talk OOC before that, because I was willing to go along with it, and it was turning into a really good scene. It was just at that one point I had to say, "No that's not happening" which just feels like a shitty thing to say.

Reading everyone's responses though, it seems like I should have established the guidelines beforehand, rather than waiting for them to get broken. It could have let us avoid the whole mess.

In the end though as C'kayah says, it ended up being really cool. The only thing that
didn't really make sense at the end was, "How did natalie get back here, and what happened to the person who arrested her?" I sort of just handwaved it though. Also Kayah's not dead if people are wondering (woo phoenix downs), so don't worry if you see him IC, he's not a ghost Big Grin.
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#19
01-30-2014, 03:59 PM
(01-30-2014, 03:55 PM)Natalie Mcbeef Wrote: Yes, as Kayah says, it ended up turning out really well. It's just at a certain point I had to tell the other person, "That thing that you say is happening, well it's not happening". I was getting dragged off, and I told the character, OOC, Natalie isn't going to let Kayah die in the street, how is she going to get back out there?" and the response was essentially, "She isn't". When I sort of started telling the player that I didn't find that acceptable, she more or less said, "Fine do what you want" and walked off.

Was that a "My character isn't going to stop arresting you" isn't or a "You're never getting out of jail" isn't? The former... I really don't see any problem with. Asking an IC cop to stop arresting someone who they have strong cause to probably stretches the boundaries of belief for that person, regardless of whether or not the arrest-ee is happy about having their love interest left in the streets.

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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#20
01-30-2014, 04:01 PM
I'm glad the situation was resolved with minimal drama, that sounded like it had the potential to be very dramatic (and not in a good way)

I can't say much more that others haven't already said, specifically that communication is always -key-. I know it can detract from the RP itself, but when someone pops into your scene; it might be good to consider pressing the proverbial "pause" button and going OOC. Maybe invite them to a party and discuss it privately real quick so everyone knows where the RP is going and is comfortable with it then get back into it. No one enjoys being blindsided.

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What a colossal waste of time and energy.
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#21
01-30-2014, 04:06 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-30-2014, 04:08 PM by McBeefâ„¢.)
(01-30-2014, 03:59 PM)Naunet Wrote: Was that a "My character isn't going to stop arresting you" isn't or a "You're never getting out of jail" isn't? The former... I really don't see any problem with. Asking an IC cop to stop arresting someone who they have strong cause to probably stretches the boundaries of belief for that person, regardless of whether or not the arrest-ee is happy about having their love interest left in the streets.

She had already taken me off, we were in another zone, and speaking ooc. To be more detailed I said, "Hey we need to figure out a way for me to get back out there and save kayah who is dying, how do you want to do it? I only have an hour because its 1am and I have work at 7:30"

There are several options we could have explored, Natalie escapes, natalie pulls some strings, natalie's reputation protects her, natalie convinces the person to let her go, etc etc. None of the other people were around, so we could have resolved it many ways, but she just seemed focused on having Natalie end the night in jail and let the other person die, and I just wasn't willing to go down that route.

The general consensus seems to be that it's *ok* to say that to people though, so I feel ok with my decision now, even though I think it's a shame it ended up happening that way.
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#22
01-30-2014, 04:17 PM
Based on how you tried to do that I think you worked really well with it but IC and OOC. You gave several options that both worked in your favor and didn't intrude onto hers (in my opinion). But you weren't allowed that at all. I think that is an issue but one that you dealt with in a great way.
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#23
01-30-2014, 04:24 PM
The whole scene does sound like it was dramatic and great!  I think you did all the right things, Nat.  It's just at the end the resolution was not received very well by the other party, which is a shame.  

I can't wait to run into Natalie now, IC.  Big Grin

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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#24
01-30-2014, 04:49 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-30-2014, 04:52 PM by Illira.)
(01-30-2014, 04:06 PM)Natalie Mcbeef Wrote: "Hey we need to figure out a way for me to get back out there and save kayah who is dying"

I don't know the law-enforcement character or their personality/ethic (and if they were aware that C'kayah was dying), but most law-enforcement officers aren't just going to leave someone to die on a street, even if its a criminal. Their job is to keep order/peace (not to pass sentence), so unless the character was corrupt (and had no care for lives) or had a pretty severe vendetta against the guy, it would have made sense for the law-enforcement character to have worked to save C'kayah's life. Even if they ultimately intended for him to be charged for crimes.

So, if they were aware (or your character made them aware) of his dying, in all likelihood, the character should have made attempts (maybe called in someone to check on him at least?) to rectify that situation instead of simply leaving him to die.

Just a thought on the matter.

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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#25
01-30-2014, 04:58 PM
If I am ever doing a plot line that I don't want other people involved with, I do it in party chat. Plain and simple. 90% of my RP as a criminal RPer is shady shit that I don't want unrelated parties having anything to do with.

Saves people the embarrassment of being told they're not allowed to RP with us, saves us the headache of trying to explain why it's private.
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#26
01-30-2014, 05:11 PM
(01-30-2014, 04:58 PM)Augustine Frost Wrote: If I am ever doing a plot line that I don't want other people involved with, I do it in party chat. Plain and simple. 90% of my RP as a criminal RPer is shady shit that I don't want unrelated parties having anything to do with.

Saves people the embarrassment of being told they're not allowed to RP with us, saves us the headache of trying to explain why it's private.

Ummm... That seems a bit overboard and a rather exclusivitist point of view on the matter.

Its one matter if you're RPing ICly in a non-public place, but otherwise it should be fair game for walk-up RP. Unless personal preference dictates that you simply don't want potential public engagement. But that is a whole 'nother thing.

In this case though, Natalie was encouraged walk-up RP, just not losing her agency in the matter.

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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#27
01-30-2014, 05:17 PM
(01-30-2014, 05:11 PM)Illira Wrote:
(01-30-2014, 04:58 PM)Augustine Frost Wrote: If I am ever doing a plot line that I don't want other people involved with, I do it in party chat. Plain and simple. 90% of my RP as a criminal RPer is shady shit that I don't want unrelated parties having anything to do with.

Saves people the embarrassment of being told they're not allowed to RP with us, saves us the headache of trying to explain why it's private.

Ummm... That seems a bit overboard and a rather exclusivitist point of view on the matter.

Its one matter if you're RPing ICly in a non-public place, but otherwise it should be fair game for walk-up RP. Unless personal preference dictates that you simply don't want potential public engagement. But that is a whole 'nother thing.

In this case though, Natalie was encouraged walk-up RP, just not losing her agency in the matter.

It's a thin line to dance on, doing your own personal plots in the open. If we're going to talk about being exclusive in public, to ooc shame people in /say for RPing their characters, just be exclusive in the first place. Better to be safe than sorry. What's the point in RPing a lawman if you can't arrest people confessing illegal activity in public?
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#28
01-30-2014, 05:32 PM
(01-30-2014, 05:17 PM)Augustine Frost Wrote: It's a thin line to dance on, doing your own personal plots in the open. If we're going to talk about being exclusive in public, to ooc shame people in /say for RPing their characters, just be exclusive in the first place. Better to be safe than sorry. What's the point in RPing a lawman if you can't arrest people confessing illegal activity in public?

I think you definitely can arrest people RPing in public, I just think you have to work around their goals for the RP. I had absolutely no problem with her confronting us and arresting my character, I don't think C'kayah had a problem with what happened to him either. It's just that at the end of the day, It's my opinion(especially after reading everyone's replies), if you walk up to people who are RPing, even if they are in a public place, you should respect their wishes about how they want things to end over your own. I play an authority character myself, so I took her threats seriously, and allowed myself to be taken off to jail, however when it was clear the player wasn't really interested in how I wanted it to end, things got slightly heated.
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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#29
01-30-2014, 05:39 PM
(01-30-2014, 05:17 PM)Augustine Frost Wrote:
(01-30-2014, 05:11 PM)Illira Wrote:
(01-30-2014, 04:58 PM)Augustine Frost Wrote: If I am ever doing a plot line that I don't want other people involved with, I do it in party chat. Plain and simple. 90% of my RP as a criminal RPer is shady shit that I don't want unrelated parties having anything to do with.

Saves people the embarrassment of being told they're not allowed to RP with us, saves us the headache of trying to explain why it's private.

Ummm... That seems a bit overboard and a rather exclusivitist point of view on the matter.

Its one matter if you're RPing ICly in a non-public place, but otherwise it should be fair game for walk-up RP. Unless personal preference dictates that you simply don't want potential public engagement. But that is a whole 'nother thing.

In this case though, Natalie was encouraged walk-up RP, just not losing her agency in the matter.

It's a thin line to dance on, doing your own personal plots in the open. If we're going to talk about being exclusive in public, to ooc shame people in /say for RPing their characters, just be exclusive in the first place. Better to be safe than sorry. What's the point in RPing a lawman if you can't arrest people confessing illegal activity in public?

Like I said, if you're simply doing 'personal plot' stuff, in a public place that you don't want anyone to have the opportunity to get involved in, well... thats on you and in which case yes, you should keep it in /party, etc. I don't think its really a thin line at all, its

Apparently I wasn't clear on the RPing ICly in a non-public place bit. That should be done, ideally in party, to avoid confusion. Even if you are in /say, I really don't think its an ooc 'shame' to a walk-up RPer to say ((Hey, sorry we're just using this ____ as furniture. ICly, we're not in a place for walk-up RP, sorry :\ )).

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RE: Seeking advice on dealing with conflict |
#30
01-30-2014, 05:43 PM
I think the issue is not being a walk-up RPer and joining in but also doing whatever you want with someone else's character. No alternative choice was given but "This is what I'm going to do and you will like it or not."

Being drawn into the RP is fine, from what I can see, but I don't think doing to another person's character what you want and not letting them work around it is an issue.

Natalie was ok with being arrested/detained but not being able to deal with it as she would. Also, I don't think she was confessing to anything illegal. Why was she being arrested anyway if someone was confessing to her?? I'm now curious XD
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