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Rinh Hallani · **05-02-2014, 08:40 PM**

(05-02-2014, 03:52 PM)Dogberry Wrote: Also, when guys on forums say "lelnogrrlzondaintarbutt" it's usually in a space that's pretty abrasive toward women in the first place. So what would any self-respecting nerd do in that situation? Make their own damn sandbox that's much less hostile.

If I had more time, I might've done the same myself, but well done to your wife for making a safe space! I'm incredibly relieved I haven't encountered that attitude in FFXIV, so far. That kind of nastiness is one of the main reasons I was able to walk away from WoW.

Zhavi · **05-02-2014, 08:50 PM**

(05-02-2014, 08:40 PM)Rinh Hallani Wrote: If I had more time, I might've done the same myself, but well done to your wife for making a safe space! I'm incredibly relieved I haven't encountered that attitude in FFXIV, so far. That kind of nastiness is one of the main reasons I was able to walk away from WoW.

Seeeeriously, WoW is the reason why I let people assume I'm male in online video games (not that I didn't eventually find a great guild, but jiminy crickets was there a lot of girls-can't-raid-at-high-levels mentality, even despite there being plenty of women in the world top 50 Undecided

).

It is strange though, in most of the rp communities I've been in when shit gets screwy it's usually the girls who are being weird/harassing the guys.

Faye · **05-02-2014, 10:36 PM**

Real life gender isn't important in role-play, really. Most of the time, the people who say things like the fellow who sent you a tell don't RP and/or have a poor understanding of RP. To them, all RP is nothing more than a nerdy ruse very desperate people use to try to hook up with people or get off OOC, so they think saying things like, "It's probably a dude," will make your world come crashing down around you.

Ilwe'ran · **05-03-2014, 02:42 PM**

(05-02-2014, 12:31 PM)Kimikimi Wrote: Someone happen to message me, they said "dude, you are proberly talking to a dude." And he thought I seemed a little desperate however that wasn't the case at all I truely was having a good time and my new friend did too.

You shouldn't even care about what a random guy think. If you and your RP partner have fun, it's fine this way. Who care about that dude that came by to comment what you were doing after seeing 3 sentences ? And who gives him the right to say anything about your RP in the first place ?

allgivenover · **05-03-2014, 03:00 PM**

It's easy to say that gender doesn't matter and to openly state that you are not thinking about it when you roleplay, but in my experience across /many/ roleplay scenes the harsh truth is that what gender you are OOC carries a great deal of weight when it comes to how interested others are in roleplaying with you, even when they explicitly state otherwise.

Thankfully it's easy to identify who these people are, given enough time. Words about openness and neutrality towards gender are cheap when those same folk only roleplay with people that are well known to be the gender they are actively interested in OOC.

Nebbs · **05-03-2014, 03:30 PM**

Gender does not matter... stereotypes and generalisations of genders probably does.

So enjoy the RP, accept the disbelief. If it does go further than chatter an OOC conversation is useful to establish boundaries. If it goes even further or gets weird .. you should have some concerns (irrespective of their gender).

And remember misunderstanding could also be due to other things like culture and language.

[edit: You might ask where the head of the person who tipped you off was.. it seems they were assuming something about your intent... maybe?]

synaesthetic · **05-03-2014, 04:06 PM**

My Free Company is almost entirely filled with people who defy the gender binary in one way or another. Big Grin

When it comes to RP, the sex and gender of the person behind the character doesn't matter for shit. What matters, obviously, is the character before you. What is their gender? What is their sex? Does their gender and sex "match up" or are they dysphoric? Does the character have gender fluid tendencies? How does that character prefer to be addressed as?

If you decide to go with a romance plot, the character's sex and gender in relation to their sexuality and sexual orientation or preferences becomes important. Consider these things in your roleplay because they are important parts of what makes a person.

TheLastCandle · **05-03-2014, 04:40 PM**

This is a touchy subject among most communities I've roleplayed in. There are cases to be made on both sides: I have had strictly IC interactions with female players who have stated in similar threads on other games' forums that they simply wouldn't be comfortable RPing a relationship with a character played by another woman. Some were single, some were happily married. The vast majority of those interactions never bled into real life and were relatively drama free, so I feel it's unfair to generalize and say that these players simply don't know the difference between IC and OOC.

With that being said, if an opportunity presents itself to go into a romantic subplot in my RP, what matters to me is the way the character is played. If someone I know for a fact is male (through OOC threads here on the RPC, or via VOIP during raids and such) can still play a female character in a believable way, with a personality that my character would be attracted to - then sure, why not?

More often than not, though, I find female players are simply better at playing female characters - so in that way I supposed there does exist a bias on my part. I have been pleasantly surprised in the past, though, and one of my oldest characters (a dark elf sorcerer in a text-based game called GemStone IV) remains dysfunctionally but happily married to a wonderful half-elf wizardess who is played by a RL male. xD

Zhavi · **05-03-2014, 05:11 PM**

(05-03-2014, 04:40 PM)TheLastCandle Wrote: This is a touchy subject among most communities I've roleplayed in. There are cases to be made on both sides: I have had strictly IC interactions with female players who have stated in similar threads on other games' forums that they simply wouldn't be comfortable RPing a relationship with a character played by another woman. Some were single, some were happily married. The vast majority of those interactions never bled into real life and were relatively drama free, so I feel it's unfair to generalize and say that these players simply don't know the difference between IC and OOC.

With that being said, if an opportunity presents itself to go into a romantic subplot in my RP, what matters to me is the way the character is played. If someone I know for a fact is male (through OOC threads here on the RPC, or via VOIP during raids and such) can still play a female character in a believable way, with a personality that my character would be attracted to - then sure, why not?

More often than not, though, I find female players are simply better at playing female characters - so in that way I supposed there does exist a bias on my part. I have been pleasantly surprised in the past, though, and one of my oldest characters (a dark elf sorcerer in a text-based game called GemStone IV) remains dysfunctionally but happily married to a wonderful half-elf wizardess who is played by a RL male. xD

You know, I have honestly never run into a player like the ones you specified in your first paragraph. So, fair enough! That'll teach me for making blanket assumptions about people based on my own limited experience, eh?

Hee, as for your last paragraph I think an argument can be made that both men and women sometimes don't play opposite gender very well (hell, sometimes I cringe and wonder if I'm doing an okay job). Though, there was once a guy the whole (small-ish) community I was on thought was a woman for a whole year and a half because he played his female character just so freakin' well. When he finally corrected someone in a plot post for calling him 'she', there was an explosion of disbelief. We look back at it and laugh now, but man, he got so much respect from all of us after that! And apologies. Lots of apologies.

Like you said, it really just boils down to the way the character is played/portrayed, eh?

Ilwe'ran · **05-03-2014, 05:25 PM**

(05-03-2014, 04:40 PM)TheLastCandle Wrote: More often than not, though, I find female players are simply better at playing female characters - so in that way I supposed there does exist a bias on my part.

What is hard isn't the cross gender.. It's to NOT play a stereotype. No matter if you're a female playing a female char, a male playing a male char or if you are changing your gender IC.
What you said, somehow remind me how many time people told me that girls were only good at playing healer (more than 8 years playing MMO and hearing that x_x).

Rinh Hallani · **05-03-2014, 05:28 PM**

(05-03-2014, 05:11 PM)Zhavi Wrote: You know, I have honestly never run into a player like the ones you specified in your first paragraph. Â So, fair enough! Â That'll teach me for making blanket assumptions about people based on my own limited experience, eh?

Hee, as for your last paragraph I think an argument can be made that both men and women sometimes don't play opposite gender very well (hell, sometimes I cringe and wonder if I'm doing an okay job). Though, there was once a guy the whole (small-ish) community I was on thought was a woman for a whole year and a half because he played his female character just so freakin' well.

I was surprised by that too. If anything, I'm relieved if the player is female as well as there's less chance of OOC drama, based on my experience. I have had some great RP, even romantic RP, with characters played by the same gender as my own. To each their own, however.

I've also met some people who can RP the opposite gender astonishingly well. A couple of them, it wasn't until we were on skype together doing a dungeon that the male or female voice gave away the game. That's one of the reasons I place no importance on whether the player is the same gender as the character.

ArmachiA · **05-03-2014, 05:58 PM**

I had Armi in a semi-relationship with a guy who was played by a girl. Gender don't matter. It's RP.It would be fnatasticly weird and counterproductive to only be able to play your age, sex, relative personality or anything like that.

LandStander · **05-03-2014, 07:42 PM**

My character has been in a number of relationships (which I am still surprised that people actually like her) with people who I know are the same gender as I am. Lots of dolphins out there :3.

Also Armi, one day X will have his day lol

Ignacius · **05-04-2014, 11:59 AM**

I should, at this point, bring up that I have known people (including one of my brothers) that have played female characters and just never told the people they play with that they're men IRL. Â The reason? Â Men playing the game will, if they come to the assumption that they're actually women IRL, apparently give them free stuff.

So word to the wise, don't come to your own assumptions. Â Everyone could be anyone until you know otherwise.

And stop trying to by romance with epics! Â I can't describe the weird feeling of disgust not because they didn't tell these other people they were really heterosexual men IRL, but because they were being showered with gear and money just because lonely people on an MMO thoughtÂ they were girls.

Eesh.

TheLastCandle · **05-04-2014, 12:25 PM**

(05-04-2014, 11:59 AM)Ignacius Wrote: I should, at this point, bring up that I have known people (including one of my brothers) that have played female characters and just never told the people they play with that they're men IRL. Â The reason? Â Men playing the game will, if they come to the assumption that they're actually women IRL, apparently give them free stuff.

So word to the wise, don't come to your own assumptions. Â Everyone could be anyone until you know otherwise.

And stop trying to by romance with epics! Â I can't describe the weird feeling of disgust not because they didn't tell these other people they were really heterosexual men IRL, but because they were being showered with gear and money just because lonely people on an MMO thoughtÂ they were girls.

Eesh.

xD I've heard this as well, and wish I could say I was surprised.

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RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes