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+--- Thread: Having trouble with lasting connections (/showthread.php?tid=6891)
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RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - E'irawen - 04-09-2014
Honestly, no. The last time I tried to do that nobody was interested because they said they preferred to be in-game.
RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - ArmachiA - 04-09-2014
(04-09-2014, 03:23 PM)Kaoru Wrote: On the topic of communicating OOCly and stuff, is it stupid to sort of 'advertise' so to speak that you want to get something romantic going for your character or is it better to just leave it up to spontaneous..ness.
Romance!
Romance should come from seeing if your character has chemistry with another character. I wouldn't run around advertising you want a romance, but instead look for new contacts, roleplay with them and see where the characters' chemistry is. Because you could advertise and your characters just... don't have that spark and its awkward if you plan it and it doesn't work out. Romance should be as organic as possible, really. Always be honest though! In OOC communications with your rp buddy let it be known if you felt there was a connection between the two and your not adverse to romance SHOULD it happen.
Don't expect romance to happen either, let it be surprising and fun and spontaneous, with - of course - both players OOCly being okay IF (not when) it goes there.
RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - Koninbeor - 04-09-2014
The Town Square has been pretty active recently.
(04-09-2014, 04:19 PM)ArmachiA Wrote:(04-09-2014, 03:23 PM)Kaoru Wrote: On the topic of communicating OOCly and stuff, is it stupid to sort of 'advertise' so to speak that you want to get something romantic going for your character or is it better to just leave it up to spontaneous..ness.
Romance!
Romance should come from seeing if your character has chemistry with another character. I wouldn't run around advertising you want a romance, but instead look for new contacts, roleplay with them and see where the characters' chemistry is. Because you could advertise and your characters just... don't have that spark and its awkward if you plan it and it doesn't work out. Romance should be as organic as possible, really. Always be honest though! In OOC communications with your rp buddy let it be known if you felt there was a connection between the two and your not adverse to romance SHOULD it happen.
Don't expect romance to happen either, let it be surprising and fun and spontaneous, with - of course - both players OOCly being okay IF (not when) it goes there.
You seriously mean to tell me that you read the Getting Married thread and still think that random romance for the sake of random romance is a bad idea? C'mon, now. That was epic fun.
RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - Kahn'a - 04-09-2014
Hey Kaoru,
Without being in your exact situation, I myself would like to also make more lasting connections with others characters and their people. Twice it has happened so far, but the more the merrier, right? So here's my offer to you, to add me in game, at least so that we can brainstorm ideas and see if we can plan some sort of commonground for our characters to interact, staying true to them, that's no questionning.
Indeed, I might be told that it is only staged and forced, but so far, I've made my best RP connections in such a way, with just a little pre-meet planning, and then things went lovely from that point. I'm on at odd times (Europe blesses you) but one more contact is... one more contact, eh?
I don't intend to judge on people's other ways to meet, but if you're getting that urgency to find some RP for your character, then so be it! We're all here to have fun, right? And one can hardly achieve that alone.
As a footnote, I'll be attending the ball. Hope to see you and your character around (:
RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - Melkire - 04-09-2014
With regards to whether K'aworu is interesting or not, just a couple of things I noticed while skimming through the wiki entry really quickly:
1. Where's the character's motivation? Character development is usually what brings said character to life, and that's usually driven by a number of motives. Either I missed it while skimming (my bad!) or else it's nonexistent. Â
2. You have to be really, really, really careful about (and/or skilled with) roleplaying a character with negative social traits such as clinginess, shyness, lack of sense of self-worth, or loopiness. The same traits that discourage people IRL from socializing with someone more often than not can also extend to RP. It's this awkward position where you're trying to play an archetype that by definition is self-limiting.
E.g. if I'm not in the mood to listen to some crazy cloudcuckoolander on the bus in the morning on the way to work, I'm not likely to care for it in my RP where I'm supposed to be relaxing and enjoying myself.
E.g. The mopey kid who's no fun to hang out with IRL? Probably no more fun to hang out with a mopey kid in RP.
It's a hard thing to play as, and unfortunately I've noticed that it puts some people off.
RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - E'irawen - 04-09-2014
@ Haeden: I'm more than happy to add you when I log back in.
 I really appreciate it.@Melkire: Thanks for pointing this out. While a couple of the traits haven't changed much, most have (such as the shyness and avoiding people altogether thing), and I really need to update it.Â
I do know the type of character he is makes him challenging to get into RP and various relationships and such (like how people want to make the deep brooding anti-social characters but then wonder why noone approaches them). I know it's tricky, but it was something I welcomed when I made him.
I'll go edit/update that. I apologize.
RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - Melkire - 04-09-2014
(04-09-2014, 04:56 PM)Kaoru Wrote: I'll go edit/update that. I apologize.
You've nothing to apologize for, I'm just trying to help. Trust me when I say that I understand how it feels to be thinking along the lines of, "why don't people RP with me/my character?"
I'd also suggest taking up Koninbeor's advice. See if you can't get into some play-by-post RP and the like, as there's no "we both have to be available at the same time to RP together!" factor involved in play-by-post.
RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - Zhavi - 04-09-2014
(04-09-2014, 03:56 PM)Kaoru Wrote: But I guess that's what I mean. It isn't really for lack of trying. I just don't really know what else I can do to "get out there" when everything I've been doing so far doesn't seem to be working? I keep wondering if maybe he's not interesting enough, despite my best efforts to make the RP sessions have some sort of drama or mini conflict or just something that can be considered interesting.
Speaking as someone who's been rping for a long time as a primary hobby, I've come to the conclusion that almost no one is going to reach out to you to get the rp going. It's likely different for some people, but I have never been the one who gets asked to rp on a regular basis. Even when my characters are well connected or have established relationships with other characters, it's usually me who is the initiator. Why is that? I don't have a clue. Sometimes I've asked my regular rp partners if my writing or ideas are shit or something and I just haven't realized it, but when I'm not having performance anxiety I think it just boils down to people being into their own things or, in some cases, a sort of unwillingness -- for whatever reason! -- to be the initiator.
And that's why I say to look at the characters you want to rp with. When you try to engage someone in rp with you, see if you can't tweak the circumstances so that it will affect both characters. For example, in my thread with Goodfellow we worked it out so the rp will largely focus on the strange book he carries. My character is focused on money and connections. Both characters will have skin in the game. Most of the interaction will be forced -- my character is the one who needs the connection for one of her jobs -- but it will personally affect both characters. It's not just about what the player is interested in -- you need to make sure it hooks the character, too.
And, sometimes, if we're being brutally honest, people won't be interested if they don't know you and don't see how the characters are going to interact. That's why it is imperative that you bring several ideas to the table. People like feeling like they have choices, and that you've invested thought into it. As Koninbeor said, most people -- unless they are in need of rp -- will not look at the wiki. So don't expect people to look at yours or pull plot ideas from yours. You be the one to do that. Will it feel a bit unfair sometimes? Yeah, sure, maybe sometimes because we're all human, but if you want the rp you gotta go out and wrestle that sucker down.
But let me put my money where my mouth is. Pretending for a moment that our characters are based in the same area, and that our characters have common interests --
Hey there!
So I was looking through the wiki and I stumbled across your character. I really liked how resourceful he is, and thought it could be super interesting if maybe he has a run-in with my character. Mine is a bit more socially aggressive than yours, so that could help get them started. If you're interested I have some ideas I'd love to toss around with you. Please let me know if you are or aren't interested!
^- that's it. Simple, to the point. I've shown that I've read about your character, that I liked what I read, and that I want to collaborate with you. Most people aren't going to turn their noses up to that. And if timezones/availability is an issue, work out a closed thread on the forum!
RE: Having trouble with lasting connections - Y'hmir - 04-09-2014
I am simply going to echo Zhavi's post as they brought up a lot of good points. What I've learned to do is to try and be flexible- not with my character himself but rather where he can ICly be at any given time. Keeping to only one city, even if Ul'dah is usually a pretty good hub for rp didn't help me.
Shooting people messages, ingame or here is also a good idea, and while I've yet to do it here, my previous experience with post-by-post forum roleplay has been very good, and would help with the pesky time management problem. And possibly foster stronger friendships/relationships doing it!
There are some, me included, who have their search info edited with 'walk up rp appreciated' and it helps finding me people who don't mind if I walk up to them and start yammering, usually.