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Melodia · **01-21-2015, 01:04 PM**

So, I have a question....and it's hypothetical. What if, say, your character primarily rp'd mainly with someone and you'd tied nearly your whole story to that person. And it was great rp...fun and you'd had important developments with that person.

And then the person left and you weren't sure they were ever coming back. They had reasons for leaving and you'd anticipated it was temporary, but it maybe turned out to be a much longer term than you anticipated. AND you were mid-stream in a plot.

What would you do? Would you put the rp on hold and start other rp, hoping they come back? Do you scrap the rp? Do you just not rp with thyat character for a time?

Interested in hearing your thoughts.

Coatleque · **01-21-2015, 01:15 PM**

Personally, I would put that plot on hold until they come back (if ever).

For this reason I try to spread my RP around as much as I can so I'm not locked to one specific person. Like going to work with the flu. If you have it, might as well share it!
(kidding, of course)

You can also take an example from life. I have some old high-school friends that I still keep in contact with. I haven't seen them in over a year now. That does not diminish the fun times we've had in the past does it? My life isn't perpetually on hold until I get a call from them saying "Hey, let's do dinner!"

Warren Castille · **01-21-2015, 01:25 PM**

Depends on the progress of the story. Was it an aside sort of thing, happening only when the two of us were RPing it? I'd freeze frame the whole damn thing and see where to pick up when they returned. Should we pretend it was always happening "now" and no time had passed? Should we acknowledge the drop and come back to it with time having gone by?

RL happens. I'm totally on board with meta-gaming the ever-living fuck out of my stories to make sure they're allowed to happen without extra-dimensional bullshit ruining them.

And of course, we always hold out hope they come back and we get to finish writing.

Gegenji · **01-21-2015, 01:26 PM**

That's a bit of a head-scratcher and actually ties into another issue I've been musing on as of late:

What about character important forum RPs? They obviously take a bit longer to complete than RP in-game. Unless you're setting the dates for it rather nebulously - or having it happen so it "ends" in the present, working happening events into it - how do you work what happens into things?

Example, say you're in a forum RP and - at some point during the event (which was set at a fixed point in time) - your character got horrifically scarred. Before that point, you were just RPing as normal in game. You like the scar and the story behind it, so you update your character model at the aesthetician with a tattoo to stand in for said scar.

Do you try to play it off like your character had the scar the whole time?

Not quite the same, but similar.

As for your particular case, though, I'd just put the RP itself on the backburner and try to weaken your IC ties with them so you're not so linked to them. If you can think of a legit reason for there to be a huge pause (I need to go do investigate this -> GONE FOR YEARS), then it should be easy enough to pick it up again later.

Or, if it never does, you'll have made your character independent enough they can just idly wonder "whatever happened to that?" every now and then. Maybe turn it into your own special plot if you're sure they're not coming back where you go find out why they disappeared. That'd be risky, though, giving an end to a character that's not yours - I'd definitely want to take to the player themselves first before lining something like that up.

Um... hope that helps? Blush

Melodia · **01-21-2015, 01:29 PM**

I'll be honest, and it's only mild panic at this time, but it's my friend Zhavi. She's been away and then came back but she seems to be gone again and I'm nervous she won't come back. And I'm less worried about the rp than I am for her, but I do wonder since Ruru is intertwined with her character at this point that I sometimes wonder if he's just in the lurch until she comes back.

((And if she comes back and sees this thread, I was just being paranoid.))

Warren Castille · **01-21-2015, 01:31 PM**

That makes two of us, then. Quick show of hands, anyone not miss Zhavi?

Didn't think so.

Tonberry

Aya · **01-21-2015, 01:35 PM**

Zhavi = amazing!Â If she's enjoying the game, and able, she'll be back! ^_^

Personally I kind of disagree with Warren, but it really is my habit not to put myself in that sort of position.Â Whatever you do I wouldn't put having fun on hold for someone who's indefinitely away.Â If she comes back and you can piece together your story again, terrific, but I wouldn't worry about it too much, and definitely wouldn't let it hold you back!Â Live for today! And maybe tomorrow!Â Not for yesterday! :-]

Ha'uruh Nunh · **01-21-2015, 06:11 PM**

(01-21-2015, 01:26 PM)Gegenji Wrote: That's a bit of a head-scratcher and actually ties into another issue I've been musing on as of late:

What about character important forum RPs? They obviously take a bit longer to complete than RP in-game. Unless you're setting the dates for it rather nebulously - or having it happen so it "ends" in the present, working happening events into it - how do you work what happens into things?

So, uh, yeah, I'm guilty of this one.Â Started a forum RP with someone, threw them into a jail cell ICly, then...

Got busy at work and never posted.

Eventually, I felt horrible and basically nixed the entire damn thing.Â I felt like a huge heel.Â We agreed just to retcon it out so it never happened.Â Of course, this was an RP that basically stopped entirely for weeks rather than just stalled and slowed down, and it was with an alt that was able to be in limbo for a few weeks, but I kept the character from participating in an important event he'd signed up for, and I felt like a jackass for it.

I guess the only solution is OOC coordination when things start to bog down.Â RL happens, but RP has consequences to the characters, so.

Enteris · **01-21-2015, 06:25 PM**

Well, not that I was entirely integral to said plot, but when this happened to first time around, Shayrei(Andralyn) wanted to continue to have fun, much like Aya said. Sitting around and waiting for the plot at that time to happen wasn't fun... so she took it into her own hands and finished it out herself (with help from company members and the like).

It's nothing against Zhavi, or anyone in such a position. As Warren mentioned, I'm not sure anyone doesn't miss her. She's a stellar RP'er and community member.

However, sometimes you gotta be selfish and move on. Perhaps put that particular plot on hold unless, like in Andralyn's case, it's far too important to your character.

Hopefully I was as clear as mud.Â Dazed

Ashe · **01-21-2015, 10:45 PM**

Put the plot on hold, start something with someone else. Â if someone asks what they are up to, come up with a believable reason as to why you are not with that person. Â A person who was RPing as my research assistant up and vanished and I used his character's basis/goals/etc to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why I don't have an assistant at the moment but it's not like a "he's dead whatevs" end-all that he couldn't come back if he decides to pick up the game again!

This could also be a great chance to widen your RP circle of friends!

C'kayah Polaali · **01-22-2015, 11:29 AM**

Man, now I really miss Zhavi.

I used to run into problems with unfinished RP all the time. I'd start a RP with someone and something would happen that would be character-impacting (say, a rival would capture C'kayah), and then it would take a while before we'd both be online again and able to finish the RP. In the mean time, I'd try to do something that took into account the RP as it had progressed. But that could be a drag. What if C'kayah had been captured? Should I simply not RP with anyone else until that's resolved? What about the timing? If it takes 4 weeks to do the whole RP, but it's supposed to take place over a day, when do you start referencing it in your other RP?

My own solution to that particular problem is to now say the RP event isn't "canon" to my character until it's over. It doesn't solve all the problems with timing, and it introduces other problems of sequencing, but it at least doesn't require anyone's character to be tied up while we wait for a chance to finish.

As for what you do about Zhavi's absence, RP-wise? Handwave something. The law got wise to her and she went into hiding, perhaps...

Zhavi · **01-26-2015, 01:13 PM**

I um, felt like I should come here and explain a bit because, well, yeah. You know. My intentions to be an active member of the community keep getting sideswiped (and it's not just here -- every bit of creative activity I do, every community I am in, I've hit a wall on). I have moved twice in the past five months, first one due to a breakup, the second due to a massive argument with my parents (as they were kind enough to let me stay with them after the breakup while I was flailing about stressed to hell because I needed to move and the semester was starting in a week) that pretty much ended with 'we think you're morally bankrupt and being corrupted by sin and the devil, but we promise we still love you!' which sorta felt like a 'fuck you, but don't act like we're the bad guys.' The argument and second move is why I disappeared again.

It's not that I'm not interested, it's not that I have a block, it's that most days that creative well inside of me is just dead. The major things I thought I had settled in life, namely wife to my ex and mother to our future children, has been tipped on its side and now I'm mostly just keeping afloat and trying to find a new normal. My parents being completely disgusted with me has not helped in the emotional stability department.

It's not that I want pity or anything, but just, I'm not randomly disappearing because I'm fickle. Presumably eventually I'll hit my stride again and be overflowing with ideas and words, but at the moment it's just hard, particularly because these aren't things I can predict or plan around, and they hit me in a way that makes me want to crawl into a small hole rather than communicate, because I'm already hurting and fear further rejection.

So I mean, if you want my advice for this sort of situation, regardless of it being me: depends on the communication you've had with the person. I will always advocate moving the rp forward. If it's easier to set the rp to the side, do that. If it's easier to come up with a reason for the absence of a particular character and move it forward, do that. I always believe that when someone disappears, if a chunk of time passes and/or you know they won't be back any times soon, to me that's sorta giving up the right to complain about what happens while being gone. In that train of thought, I'll always support choices made in my absence.

Buuuut um, yeah I suppose we should work out what you would like to do over chat, as I'm likely going to be massively slow for several more months.

Cheers, guys, and thanks for the kind words. <3

Saefinn · **01-30-2015, 02:44 PM**

This has happened with my character Saefinn, we just talked it over and came to an agreement on how we both saw our characters going forward in their absence. My character is in an IC relationship, but the friend playing the partner for the most part has stopped playing. We agreed to keep it going ICly, but to treat her like a background character as part of the story, but isn't physically there. The reason for this is because our 2 characters had no reason to split, even though there were OOC reasons to. It has worked out, because there's periods when I'm not roleplaying, so it manages to be one of those implied background activities. I've always taken value in OOC communication about IC things, because it all affects our own enjoyment - I don't want other people to become uncomfortable or unhappy or for their experience to be ruined. In fact, for the above relationship, we had a long OOC discussion at the start. People sometimes have different visions, so it's good to ensure you're both on the same page. I have seen it when this isn't the case and it can get messy.

However, when it has come to members leaving, who are involved with my FC's plots, I kinda treat them as ex-crew members or people on hiatus or leave. I sometimes still make reference to them, like yesterday's RP, a guy referred to somebody as "Black Rose" and Saefinn turned around and said, "I knew a Rose once, she wasn't black, but she slugged me a few times". Sometimes people unfortunately do not make an IC exit or discuss how they're leaving ICly, so you have to make recoveries.

That said, if it's a close relationship and something interwoven, I find it is respectful for both to talk about it, perhaps something to discuss when setting it up or at leave, because it comes to that situation where you break apart, so it's not jarring and you can be prepared for it. After all, people won't play the game to infinity (and beyond!) and one will leave before the other, most likely.

Harmonixer · **01-30-2015, 09:15 PM**

Unfortunately, as evidenced here, people can disappear through conditions far outside their control. The way I tend to treat it in RP is very similar to how I feel like we should treat it in life:

Continue to press forward, armed with the goods things we've gathered along the way. This of course by no means says you should simply forget it all, rather use it to a sort of bittersweet advantage. Chances are, a lot of your characters developments came from your now missing partner. This should be loosely taken into account I feel.

Putting the story on hold should only extend to certain details, I'll let you decide on what those are. But really, the best thing to do is to not get stuck in the past too much. It's a painful, sometimes incredibly stressful thing to do. Believe me, I know. But there's so much to be seen and learned and gained from others that you have to make the best of it.

Maybe it's generic advice, but I think the thing to remember is that your future partner(s) could be communicated to understand this sort of fear you might have, or help you overcome it. I was very fortunate to have supportive friends and great listeners.

But as ever, prepare yourself for their possible return- just remember the pair of your may be far different from when you left off. This too, could also be a great thing. I like to remain optimistic, you could add even more wonderful things to your RP!

Best of luck. I don't believe we should suffer from our losses, we should get stronger and come back better than before.

/endsappyshit

But seriously. Get going!

RP Disruption (or, a Prolonged Absence)

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes