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Edgar · **10-12-2014, 04:32 PM**

(10-12-2014, 04:24 PM)Lilithium Wrote:
(10-12-2014, 04:06 PM)Edgar Wrote:
(10-12-2014, 03:38 PM)PkThunda Wrote: Well well! This is my kind of thread- I love thinking and talking about character sexuality and it's place in the setting.

My current main character, Z'zhumii Umi is a courtesan. Sexuality is her business.
She is also asexual and aromantic.

I know, I know, you might be scratching your head a little at that.
Why would she end up in a profession that mainly revolves around sex and attraction? What does she get out of it?

Well, the answer to that is gil.
While she herself does not experience sexual or romantic attraction to anyone, sex is still pretty neato and the money people pay her for it is nothing to scoff at.
Umi is in it solely for the business aspect, and she will play on the affections of others to keep the money flowing.

I do charge actual girl for ERP with others on Umi- It actually helps keep my roleplay from devolving solely into smut.
Since the cost is so high, most people won't bother to try and engage Umi for that kind of roleplay, which is nice when I want to focus on plots and events.

I recently (like, a few minutes ago!) finished my big guide on courtesans in history and RP, so it's a big obvious on how open I am with character and setting sexuality xD

I'm scratching my head, but for a different reason.

Aesexual would imply she has no sex drive, which would make her position totally preposterous. Why would someone with no sex drive, even for the sake of gil, go through with sex? The answer is simple: They wouldn't. We're talking a total lack of libido, here; sex would be anything but neato.

Basically, it doesn't make sense to me. You define her as cunning, gil-seeking, and manipulative, playing on another's affections. That takes comprehension of those affections, and those sexual desires, and she doesn't have them because she simply doesn't feel them. Now, if she were merely indifferent to sex, instead of having zero libido as Aesexuals do, you could totally pull this off. She could just have a view where sex is just a tool in her arsenal, and not think highly of it. She could theoretically continue being aromantic in her more serious relationships, because she sees no reason for sex in a serious relationship, but it wouldn't bleed into her source of income, because she would have the desire still there to actually want to go through with the tasks required. Aromantic works for this situation; Aromantic AesexualÂ does not.

That's just my opinion, though. You've always struck me as rather knowledgeable what with your database on Courtesans, so I have a feeling I might be missing something.

Having had asexual friends in college and having been with someone myself who was asexual, I think I can help answer this.

It sometimes becomes a mind over matter thing. People who are asexual, especially when it comes to the topic of sex, recognize that is fundamental for certain things. For example, most to all romantic relationships need physical intimacy and not everyone who is asexual will find and fall for another asexual partner. In this case, it's required for work.

Just because one is asexual doesn't mean they can't or won't have sex. It just means that they can live without it and still live a happy and normal life. But many that I know of aren't opposed to delving into sex if it's for their partner's happiness or to have a child. Just like, in this case, the character delves into it because it makes her a very good income.

Alright, alright. I yield. I really didn't mean anything offensive. Like I stated, I had my own doubts. I'm sorry if I upset anyone.

I'm nipping this one in the bud before it causes any problems. Let's get back on track.

Lady Rivienne · **10-12-2014, 07:03 PM**

I suppose there are some stigma concerning romantic roleplay and the characters involved. Whether you fade to black, or roleplay a scene for hours matters not, mostly what it means to them is what I want to touch on.

I have roleplayed romantic scenes in my stories for years now, being an adult, I know that sex happens! It does! People make love all the time, though that means not that I focus on such solely when it comes to my roleplay. I explore all facets of a character's life, I enjoy every experience I am allowed to give them, including romance and having the opportunity to embark on a journey on that front.

Rivienne is a woman who denied love, she pushed aside any romantic thoughts to place her focus on the path ahead of her. All she knew was the pain and strife that came with life, deciding that love was not worth to pursue. So now, as she has come to accept love into her heart, and has found one who she can trust, she has allowed her body to experience something beautiful, something liberating. That came in the form of making love. So to her, it is the expression of a bond that runs deeper than the physical. He sets her soul aflame, and with each touch, she feels lifted, love making is another way for her to feel alive after all she has endured.

It has affected her relationship, but not to slight it. It has formed a stronger bond, and the more they explore each other, the stronger these ties are. It is not to say that sex is the glue that holds them together, but it has played a part in her accepting herself as a woman and not a weapon. Sex is a powerful thing, people seem to forget this. It doesn't have to have a negative appeal, and I roleplay it as such, a beautiful union between my character and her beloved.

K'nahli · **10-12-2014, 07:18 PM**

(10-12-2014, 04:32 PM)Edgar Wrote: Alright, alright. I yield. I really didn't mean anything offensive. Like I stated, I had my own doubts. I'm sorry if I upset anyone.

I'm nipping this one in the bud before it causes any problems. Let's get back on track.

I think your own anxiety over this topic being poorly received has made you needlessly submissive ^^
To me, it looked like both PK and Lilithium were merely providing insightful feedback. I don't believe that they were offended. After all, your post was harmless.

For the little it's worth though, I agree with them from the small amount I do understand about asexuality. It apparently does vary quite a lot from person to person, with many being completely repulsed by anything sexual and many others that are happy to indulge in the activity for the partner's sake. So I think you can't really be definitive when you come across that label.

In response to the question... well, I'd rather not divulge in my own characters' perceptions of it because regardless of whether I say they are or are not in support in those activities I think it will undesirably bleed out relevant information about how my characters feel and respond to other issues(not even closely related, but this matter alone can tell a lot about a person) and for that reason I'd like to keep it hidden for the sake of a certain RP partner, haha.

.....Well... okay I suppose I can comment on my hyur, but I'll keep it very simple. He is not opposed to the act but he is a bit of a romantic and would never engage in meaningless affairs with anyone, even with the lighter things.

Oh, and as for the topic as a whole I think sexual relations can play a very, strong role in character development, absolutely. It's not really a matter of 'if' though that kind of roleplay is definitely not something I'd be comfortable in engaging with with just anyone. Fade to blacks are the only way, haha ;

cuideag · **10-12-2014, 07:33 PM**

I do not engage in ERP. I have before, mind, in other games. The trend seems to be that I have poor judgement in those cases and interactions with those players simply devolve into them wanting nothing but ERP and that really is not cool with me. Even had someone just completely drop contact with me because I wouldn't ERP with them. Shrug!

I have nothing against people who do do it - as Val said, we are RPing adult characters who get into adult situations and sexuality is kind of a big part of a lot of peoples' lives! ... But I don't understand people who do nothing but ERP. If that's their thing, that's great! I just think it's weird and I am not going to take part in it. Fade to black is great!Â

Jajara has been an interesting exercise because A) lalafell so a lot of folks act with that "lalafell = Â children" mentality, B) she is EXTREMELY sexually repressed to begin with, C) thanks to a certain lalafellin trickster in her company she is currently a he and is struggling very much with identity.

She was raised thinking that sex is a dirty, shameful thing and it took her a long time to break out of that to get to a point where she can actually enjoy it, even if she only has slept with those with whom she is in committed relationship with. Still doesn't enjoy talking about it in public and is always extremely appalled when she hears people discussing all sorts of private, intimate things out on the streets!

She was also raised thinking homo- and bi- sexuality are absolutely unnatural and is definitely at least mildly homophobic. She has friends and coworkers who dabble, of course, and she doesn't go out of her way to harass them about it. There's even some kind of awkward feelings with regards to the above mentioned trickster which she has been adamantly trying to bury as soon as they come up. She just can't understand it and is pretty certain she finds it disgusting.

... which is kind a pickle, then, because of her current situation. She's in a male body and in love with someone in a female body and it's just completely throwing her for a loop. Hasn't even been able to engage in intimacy with her guy because... well. Everything is wrong! And she is so terrified that the moment she does break down and acts is the moment she'll be branded some sort of deviant or pervert.

Delial on the other hand is much more open about it. She's taken men and women as lovers, partaken of acts with multiple lovers at once, and has not once felt any reason to be ashamed about any of it. For her it is pleasure and little else. It is a rare thing for her to have romantic attachments and so she rarely equates sex with love. The last person she did sleep with, however, was also one she was so deeply enamored with that she has not been too inclined to seek out intimacy with anyone else yet. Much to her own aggravation - just when did she get so dang sentimental?!

OttoVann · **10-12-2014, 07:42 PM**

Well...uh...Otto thrives on the playboy image. He...sleeps around a lot. Paid whores, friends, casual encounters...he doesn't care.

Lately though he has stemmed that back because IC hes lost interested in fucking around non stop. He might stop being a drug abusing womanizer and only sleep around a few times a week over non stop.

Edgar · **10-12-2014, 07:52 PM**

(10-12-2014, 07:03 PM)R.Delacroux Wrote: Sex is a powerful thing, people seem to forget this. It doesn't have to have a negative appeal, and I roleplay it as such, a beautiful union between my character and her beloved.

The Buddha once likened our words to an axe. Sexuality is much the same, capable of bringing people together on one edge, or tearing them apart with the other. It can be used to strengthen our relationships, or it can be used as a cruel and efficient weapon.

But when it is used correctly...The results can truly be beautiful.

Crisiet · **10-12-2014, 07:54 PM**

Sexuality and sex is actually a big part of Cris' character in that he'sÂ terrifiedÂ of all the vulnerability that comes with it. He spends a lot of time putting up a front, which he then has to drop. He also has a lot of hang ups about his physical appearance. The act of actually exposing himself, let alone engaging in something as intimate as sex is an incredibly difficult thing for him.

I'm gonna copy what I've written on Cris' wiki and expand on it a little.

Crisiet is homosexual. He struggled with his sexuality for years, having been raised under the expectation that he would continue his family line. He can seem rather repressed even now, though he has accepted his attraction to other men.Â

He was an only child in Ishgard. His family wasn't nobility but he was still very much expected by his family (his father in particular) to find a wife and have at least one little Liautroix before getting eaten by dragons. This had a big impact on the way he is now. He still feels guilt sometimes. He knows he shouldn't, but he does. Yet he's learning to accept himself. He's even developed a relationship with another man and feels he can at least be a little open about it. A little. Not very though. That'd be improper. His former relationships were kept almost entirely secret.

For myself, this sort of character development is important. Sexuality is a key part of many people's identity and social influences have a massive impact on the way we view our own sexuality and that of others.

ArmachiA · **10-12-2014, 08:52 PM**

I guess if we're admitting thing, I have ERPed in the past and probably will in the future. I don't do it often, since I have a lot of checks and balances people have to pass before I trust them enough to do it. I have to make sure they won't take it ooc, that they aren't simply in it for ERP, AND that my fiance is comfortable with them enough to let me erp with them. Not everyone passes the checks, and I have been known to fade to black a lot as well (Though if I think they will take it ooc, I generally avoid ANY romance rp with them altogether) just for my own comfort.

As for Armi, I intentionally rolled her difficult. If I have to use a BS tumblr term she would be Demisexual - someone who only feels sexual attraction to people who already has a strong bond with. She doesn't feel lust in the way other people do, she barely sees physically beauty - acknowledging someone is good looking from an observant point of view is about as good as it gets. She's so disinterested and nervous about talking about sex in public, most people around her believe she's STILL a virgin, despite have 2 previous relationships. Being that vulnerable with someone, especially when she constantly has her guard up all the time, is really hard for her - borderline impossible. Armi is goofy and dorky and awkward and funny, but she's VERY tightly wound up. She's always on edge, she can never relax and she always has her walls up. Though she's friendly and likes to try to talk to people, she keeps EVERYONE at arms length all the time, never letting people get too close to her. Letting her guard down for a moment is hard, letting it down during something that intimate and for that long of time scares the bejesus out of her. Armi is only sexual behind closed doors with someone she is very comfortable with. We're talking MONTHS of build up to get to that point.

She's actually a surprisingly sexual person too, once the wall is down. Though she's inexperienced, she's open to trying new things, likes to learn how to do things correctly, and is extremely eager about pleasing her mate. Because she has no idea whats appropriate or not when it comes to sexual relationships (Due to growing up in a priesthood) she doesn't have many boundaries and will generally go as far as men are willing to push her. Eagerly and with much gusto.

Shizuka · **10-12-2014, 09:46 PM**

I've ERP'd before, but to be frank, I am SUPER awkward with it and just generally avoid it. It's just not my bag, but it's totally cool with me whatever people want to do behind closed doors.

That aside, sex and sexuality still do play a good bit into Lalah's RP. We may not RP out the sex scenes, but we know pretty well how things go between Lalah and her mate J'inwa. They want a family, and tend to be fairly active in pursuing that goal; Lalah will blindfold or tie J'inwa up, something he loves. And sometimes, some nights are more for the soft romance. J'inwa's player and I are almost always on the same page with this, so we don't even need to discuss it much. And yet tiny details do slip into RP that give people little glimpses into their private relationship.

On a more general note, sex is a pretty Big Deal to Lalah. She won't just sleep with anyone, though she's much more free with non-penetration actions. She's fairly stick-straight, but she's been known to flirt with women now and then. Sex, and sexuality, definitely helped to shape her character. She'll be moodier and more depressed if it's been a while since she's had time to make love to her mate. Or she might be tired but in a significantly better mood if she's had a long night between the sheets (not that there have to be any sheets involved).

I think it's important to take sex into consideration for a character, even if that consideration is nothing more than saying "Yeah, she's not interested in that at ALL."

Emeraven · **10-12-2014, 11:10 PM**

Im glad you were open to discuss such subjects. I know many avoid it as they dont want to been seen as ERPiers, but I think I look at things similar to what you do. With most beings, sex is just a part of their nature, but as we ourselves are affected by our sexuality, so are our characters.

I have always played characters with alternative sexuality, because I have personal experience with that, but also because it seems to fit my characters. Which of course is related as I am the one that first thought up the ideas for the characters, but also the characters themselves were influenced by the outside world.Â

When I first started RPing on a MMO, Lesbian had become a very popular concept, though admittedly it was more about the ERP than the actually way it affected the character. It was more the kink, the newness, the fantasy and I being far younger than I am now, got caught up in it. But over the years I discovered the emotional and relationship side of sexuality.

Now when I RP someone of alternative sexuality (Bi, homosexual), I concentrate how that affects their relations. They can have close friends with those they are not attracted to. And have the same storybook romance feelings about someone they are attracted to. Eorsza, seems like a place where the historical prejudice of our own, world isn't apparent in this land. But I havent as yet, seen NPCS who have alternative sexuality.

On the ERP itself though, I do a mix, at times I will play it out, and at times I wont. However, balance is often a key to keeping up a RP relationship. For me at least, if I dont get to RP out a little of the intimacy (which doesnt have to include sex), I find that my character isnt as expressive about its emotions to their lover. But I have also known many, and RPied with those, that do not ERP at all, and have still had some great RP and even Romantic Relationships.

Thank you for posting Lalah, it was an interesting post

Faye · **10-12-2014, 11:28 PM**

Faye is a very nonsexual person. She doesn't enjoy physical contact, sexual or nonsexual, and her sense of propriety makes her wrinkle her nose at PDA, promiscuity, and prostitution.Â I suppose it's because of this she ended up with someone as lewd and lusty as Val--only someone so persistent and tempting could sway her. Tongue

Â Otherwise, Faye was actually contently a virgin until the two started dating. She is very heterosexual--any curiosity she may have had in women was quickly destroyed with an incident with a certain Voidtouched (though this hasn't stopped multiple women from hinting at inviting her to a threesomes @_@).

As for dominance, Faye likes a challenge and a "manly" man. Submissive men are a huge turn off to her (ironically, considering those who have tried to tempt her to be unfaithful did it by ass-kissing relentlessly). Though, that doesn't mean she's the submissive one--she likes an equal mix. She likes to be in charge, but she's attracted to power in others, so they have to prove they can hold their own against her. Smile

As for my other characters, Unmei is very shy and naive so she's a bit reluctant with the idea of sex. She's conflicted about the subject, though--while she did leave behind the Seeker lifestyle out of a disdain for it, her instincts and upbringing are still a large part of her, and they tell her that sex is something natural and highly encouraged. Regardless, she does strongly believe in the romantic notion that sex is something reserved for that special "one and only" person you love, thus she's held out until she found her now fiance. I'd say she's probably bi-curious, but she's not a very sexual person and in a committed relationship with a man, so likely nothing will come it. She's very submissive, but she's actually sort of become the dominant one in her relationship because her gentlemanly partner is terrified to bring up sex for fear of disrespecting her.Â

And then there's Shade. She's a Voidtouched who steals the aether of others through sexual contact--yes, a succubus--so naturally sex is a huge part of her character (though I'm actually more swayed to "fade to black" with her than any of my other characters, as the act itself is relatively meaningless to her). I'd consider her pansexual even if only for practical purposes--food is food, she's not picky. She claims that sex is only a necessity and she doesn't enjoy it (outside of with her current lover) but it's not quite the truth--she does seem to enjoy it, if only because her nature forces her to as well as because of the feeling of power it gives her, particularly considering her victims are not always wholly willing. She prefers to be entirely dominant in most situations, but strangely, when she actually cares for someone as she does her current lover, she's actually very submissive, save for frequent acts of rebellion when she's unhappy with him.

Lastly, Ael is not a very sexual person. He doesn't have a lot of experience with sex, just a few random one-night stands with admirers who've come to him, but he doesn't seek it out himself. Unlike Unmei and Faye, he doesn't tie sex to romance or serious relationships, so while he's probably the least interested in sex of all my characters, he'd be more likely to have it than Faye or Unmei. To him, sex is just something that feels good so might as well do it when he feels like it. He is entirely heterosexual, and he prefers to be the dominant one, though he does not like overly submissive women, or for that matter, promiscuous women as he views it as desperation, because much like Faye, he finds strength and stubbornness in others admirable. He does, however, have a sense of etiquette that leads him to believe frequent sex is mostly saved for marriage and procreation, which is why he hasn't been with the same woman twice.

As for my OOC views, sex is sex. It's a thing that happens, and biologically it's hardwired to be the prime goal of our lives. That being said, it's not as if we haven't evolved to have our own identities, preferences, and other motivators. Sex is an important of the lives of all my characters (even those who abstain from it) as it's vital to their lives, their personalities, their interactions with others, their relationships, etc. However, it's not a the focus of my RP or my characters' lives. While ERP is fine and dandy, it's something I reserve for special circumstances, so often I prefer to just fade to black.

That being said, to me OOC, sex is something special and private to be reserved for the person you love and are in a relationship with. I don't always insert that view into my characters, but it is rare/difficult for me to play characters who are promiscuous out of nothing more than hedonism and highly interested in frequent, casual sexual encounters. I don't think it's so much to do with my RL views, though, as it is a wariness that even if I fade to black every time, having a character who acts that way will still get me labelled nothing more than an "ERPer" with a big scarlet A on my chest that will scare away any serious RPers looking for something more than getting their character laid. I'm afraid it will chase away the attention I want and rather attract the wrong sort of attention.

Jana · **10-13-2014, 04:34 AM**

Jana has always preferred women in terms of looks but never thought much about sex until she was kidnapped for use as a blood sacrifice. She (incorrectly) assumed she was chosen because she was a virgin, and even after her rescue had been reluctant to accept even minor PDA.

The question of whether her virginity is something worth killing her over has forced the topic into her mind, making her even more scared to go through with the act. The fact that the only person she was prepared to do it with died before she could get around to it will likely only make things worse for her.

Kyatai · **10-13-2014, 05:22 AM**

(10-12-2014, 11:10 PM)Emeraven Wrote: Eorsza, seems like a place where the historical prejudice of our own, world isn't apparent in this land. But I havent as yet, seen NPCS who have alternative sexuality.

Go to the Observatorium and listen to the two Elezen on the bunk beds' conversation.

ArmachiA · **10-13-2014, 06:19 AM**

The NPC who sold things for the Moonfire Faire, who looked like Minfilia 1.0, has a betrothed who was a female. If you talked to her, she mentions it.

The Devs actually stated Eorzea is completely cool with alternative sexualities. It's just a non-issue there, doesn't need to be brought up because no one cares.

GloryRhodes · **10-13-2014, 08:16 AM**

Spahro is...Â Nonsexual?Â I describe her an an "Asexual Bitch Monster" but it's not really true.Â Spahro experiences attraction and has had a lover or two in the past, but it's generally pretty far from the forefront of her mind.Â She's got more important things to do than go around examining people's genitals, I guess.

And let's be completely fair here, why would anyone want to get intimate with Spahro?Â I actually play her as terribly off putting and caustic in an attempt to keep romantic advances at a minimum.

Don't have sex with Spahro.Â She'd make fun of you the whole time then write in the paper about how bad you are in bed.

Poll: Does Sex Have a Place in Your Roleplay? You do not have permission to vote in this poll.
Yes	88.80%	111	88.80%
No	11.20%	14	11.20%
Total		125 vote(s)	100%

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Sex and Your Character/Roleplay (NSFW Discussion)

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