
Is it wrong to want to protect your friends? But at what cost to yourself? At what point do you say, screw it, I’ve got to watch my own back, even though you care so much about them?
Loyalty and honor. Sometimes they’re the same side of the coin, sometimes different. I am loyal to my employees, my friends. They are loyal to me. As I mentioned earlier to Lainseworth, sometimes it’s nice to know that you are in a family of your own choosing instead of the one that was chosen for you. That’s what makes it so hard!
And then there’s love on top of it all. Love that makes us say things and feel things and do things. Glorious, lovely, exciting love. Love like I haven’t felt in such a long time.
I mentioned to Oskar that not all Garleans were spies, that maybe some of them would have their reasons for leaving. I tried to make him understand, to see what it would take to break a man…but he didn’t. I don’t think that if I told him, even if I could be convincing…I know he’s not a spy! If he was a spy, why would they want to come back and kill him?
Gods! How do I make this decision? I know I asked him to leave, but he was supposed to take her too! It was supposed to be simple! He’d leave, I’d tell what I knew, and that would be it! I could go on and be happy.
Instead I’m worried sick about him. I’m worried about myself. I’m worried that I’ve gone and bungled everything. What if it all came crashing down?Â
Loyalty and honor. Sometimes they’re the same side of the coin, sometimes different. I am loyal to my employees, my friends. They are loyal to me. As I mentioned earlier to Lainseworth, sometimes it’s nice to know that you are in a family of your own choosing instead of the one that was chosen for you. That’s what makes it so hard!
And then there’s love on top of it all. Love that makes us say things and feel things and do things. Glorious, lovely, exciting love. Love like I haven’t felt in such a long time.
I mentioned to Oskar that not all Garleans were spies, that maybe some of them would have their reasons for leaving. I tried to make him understand, to see what it would take to break a man…but he didn’t. I don’t think that if I told him, even if I could be convincing…I know he’s not a spy! If he was a spy, why would they want to come back and kill him?
Gods! How do I make this decision? I know I asked him to leave, but he was supposed to take her too! It was supposed to be simple! He’d leave, I’d tell what I knew, and that would be it! I could go on and be happy.
Instead I’m worried sick about him. I’m worried about myself. I’m worried that I’ve gone and bungled everything. What if it all came crashing down?Â