
She sank into the steaming hot water of the tub, letting the water caress her, enfold her in warmth. Her head sank down under the surface of the water, and for a moment she wondered what it would be like to let it all go, to breathe in the water and cease to be. Up she came again, eyes closed, water dripping from her ears and hair and nose. It would never get any easier. This was a path that had never been easy.
She rested her head against the edge of the tub, smelling the scent of the oil that Madison gave her. She remembered when she gave it to her, how eagerly she dabbed it on her skin. Did he like it? That was all she cared about. The thought made her smile, slightly. Sadly.
Was this it? All the work up to this point for nothing? She didn’t want it to be. She heard them buzzing around her, telling her things she didn’t want to hear. Saying words she didn’t want to acknowledge. She knew there was more than what they saw. She couldn’t make them see.
There was tenderness there, and love too. It was in his gaze, his touch, the soft words spoken between them when no one else could hear. But they were not her. They could not see. They could not understand.
She ran the sponge over her skin, trying to wash it all away, but it would not go. She frowned and stood, letting the water drip onto the floor as she went for the towel hanging on the doorknob. The chill of the air made her hair stand on end, and no amount of drying would take the chill away.
She padded softly over the wooden floor to the bed, lonely in it’s solitude. She would sleep on it, if she could. She crawled in between the covers, and curled on her side, praying that sleep would find her, and that clarity would come with the sun.
She rested her head against the edge of the tub, smelling the scent of the oil that Madison gave her. She remembered when she gave it to her, how eagerly she dabbed it on her skin. Did he like it? That was all she cared about. The thought made her smile, slightly. Sadly.
Was this it? All the work up to this point for nothing? She didn’t want it to be. She heard them buzzing around her, telling her things she didn’t want to hear. Saying words she didn’t want to acknowledge. She knew there was more than what they saw. She couldn’t make them see.
There was tenderness there, and love too. It was in his gaze, his touch, the soft words spoken between them when no one else could hear. But they were not her. They could not see. They could not understand.
She ran the sponge over her skin, trying to wash it all away, but it would not go. She frowned and stood, letting the water drip onto the floor as she went for the towel hanging on the doorknob. The chill of the air made her hair stand on end, and no amount of drying would take the chill away.
She padded softly over the wooden floor to the bed, lonely in it’s solitude. She would sleep on it, if she could. She crawled in between the covers, and curled on her side, praying that sleep would find her, and that clarity would come with the sun.