It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything meaningful…
I just don’t feel myself any more. I feel as if the world is passing me by, and here I sit, looking at the flickering shadows on the wall, and I feel so alone.
When the Starlight festival happened, many of the people here left to spend time with their families. Zenge ran off on a scouting mission with others from the Adder, to gain intelligence on those damned Garleans…not many people have returned.
Kass is still here, so her and I spend time in front of the fire, reading or talking. Miyu comes around and I talk with her for a while. It seems as if she’s taken up with Raven…it’s nice to see her so happy. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her that happy…if anyone deserves a distraction, it’s Miyu.
Trying to find a distraction myself, I finally left the building for more than a few ticks the other sun. I had seen that Mister Verence had posted a notice about the AETHER academy having an informational meeting. I figured it would be good to maybe see about taking a few classes here and there.
I have to say, however, that my mind couldn’t quite focus on the speeches being made. Instead, I was a bundle of emotions…Oskar was there. I had no idea what happened to him…but he looked horrible. As much as he has hurt me, as angry as I was at him…I could not bring myself to see him looking so frail. Oskar, that pillar of strength, has crumbled to a shadow of what he once was. He walks with a cane, his beard has grown out, and Twelve, he looks tired. He asked about Zenge and in return I inquired after Deirdre…it seemed to pain him so. I can’t stand to see him in pain like that. I worry for him.
After he left, I don’t know how I felt. I felt sad for him…pity even. Yet I know that he would shun my pity. He’s not a man to accept feelings like that. And I feel that I would insult him with those feelings. He is…was…so capable. It is difficult to look at him and not see that monster of a man that he once was. It is difficult not to think on these things…
I need to get out more. I began training the Axe with Taelia and Kass the other sun. It was nice to go out and be active again. I’ll never be as strong as others, but at least with more work, I will not embarrass myself should the time ever come that I need to take up an axe.
It feels good to get out of this room, out of this building. The sun shines still, and that is some comfort. Who knows how many more suns we have left before the sky falls on us all.Â
I just don’t feel myself any more. I feel as if the world is passing me by, and here I sit, looking at the flickering shadows on the wall, and I feel so alone.
When the Starlight festival happened, many of the people here left to spend time with their families. Zenge ran off on a scouting mission with others from the Adder, to gain intelligence on those damned Garleans…not many people have returned.
Kass is still here, so her and I spend time in front of the fire, reading or talking. Miyu comes around and I talk with her for a while. It seems as if she’s taken up with Raven…it’s nice to see her so happy. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her that happy…if anyone deserves a distraction, it’s Miyu.
Trying to find a distraction myself, I finally left the building for more than a few ticks the other sun. I had seen that Mister Verence had posted a notice about the AETHER academy having an informational meeting. I figured it would be good to maybe see about taking a few classes here and there.
I have to say, however, that my mind couldn’t quite focus on the speeches being made. Instead, I was a bundle of emotions…Oskar was there. I had no idea what happened to him…but he looked horrible. As much as he has hurt me, as angry as I was at him…I could not bring myself to see him looking so frail. Oskar, that pillar of strength, has crumbled to a shadow of what he once was. He walks with a cane, his beard has grown out, and Twelve, he looks tired. He asked about Zenge and in return I inquired after Deirdre…it seemed to pain him so. I can’t stand to see him in pain like that. I worry for him.
After he left, I don’t know how I felt. I felt sad for him…pity even. Yet I know that he would shun my pity. He’s not a man to accept feelings like that. And I feel that I would insult him with those feelings. He is…was…so capable. It is difficult to look at him and not see that monster of a man that he once was. It is difficult not to think on these things…
I need to get out more. I began training the Axe with Taelia and Kass the other sun. It was nice to go out and be active again. I’ll never be as strong as others, but at least with more work, I will not embarrass myself should the time ever come that I need to take up an axe.
It feels good to get out of this room, out of this building. The sun shines still, and that is some comfort. Who knows how many more suns we have left before the sky falls on us all.Â
![[Image: DI0sJH6.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/DI0sJH6.png?1)
