The scales have tipped, and it is not just my life that hangs in the balance, but those that I love as well. I need to find my center, need to tune out the voices, quiet the storm….and in order to do that, I must be alone.
It is my second sun at the Fane, struggling to find the quiet that they speak of. Since before, the elementals have forsaken my need to heal, so I cannot call upon them to heal my spirit. I do not have that power, nor do they have the power to heal what it is that is wrong with my spirit.
I remember trying to meditate when I was with Oskar, but found myself running away from my own thoughts and feelings. Now, forced to be with them for an extended period of time, forced to deal with thoughts and feelings I’d been having and putting them down…it is quite the experience.
Here is what I do know. I am better off on my own, as much as I need people. As much as I want to be with people. The voices don’t make exceptions for lovers or friends. They don’t make exceptions for me. The Twelve only knows what I will need to do to make them stop in the end. But only by finding my center can I quiet them. And that I must do alone.
I know that I will not be alone forever. Perhaps someday, I will come back to the place I was before. Return to that person, those people, that house, that life. I know that sooner rather than later, I will need the help of the people with whom I got placed in this situation. Eric will have to guide me on this path, when the time comes. Hopefully he will be willing to help.
Until then, I will bide my time, learning and resting. The trees have always been my solace. My heart feels more at ease here in the Twelveswood. It is good to be where I started. Perhaps this will finally be the time and the place for my starting over.
It is my second sun at the Fane, struggling to find the quiet that they speak of. Since before, the elementals have forsaken my need to heal, so I cannot call upon them to heal my spirit. I do not have that power, nor do they have the power to heal what it is that is wrong with my spirit.
I remember trying to meditate when I was with Oskar, but found myself running away from my own thoughts and feelings. Now, forced to be with them for an extended period of time, forced to deal with thoughts and feelings I’d been having and putting them down…it is quite the experience.
Here is what I do know. I am better off on my own, as much as I need people. As much as I want to be with people. The voices don’t make exceptions for lovers or friends. They don’t make exceptions for me. The Twelve only knows what I will need to do to make them stop in the end. But only by finding my center can I quiet them. And that I must do alone.
I know that I will not be alone forever. Perhaps someday, I will come back to the place I was before. Return to that person, those people, that house, that life. I know that sooner rather than later, I will need the help of the people with whom I got placed in this situation. Eric will have to guide me on this path, when the time comes. Hopefully he will be willing to help.
Until then, I will bide my time, learning and resting. The trees have always been my solace. My heart feels more at ease here in the Twelveswood. It is good to be where I started. Perhaps this will finally be the time and the place for my starting over.
![[Image: DI0sJH6.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/DI0sJH6.png?1)
