- How does your character deal with killing?
For a man of his size, who has essentially been a survivalist for a good part of his life, and who is better with his weapons than most people know, Nathan tries to avoid killing - and violence itself, preferring to find any way he can out of a violent situation when possible at all, preferring charm and evasion to violence.
This attitude is a combination of his lust for life, his desire to spread happiness and mirth to people, and a conscious stifling of the memory of how he lost his entire family and troupe, and the little village where they were performing, to the Ixal.
However, anyone who can push him to the point where he has no choice but to use weapons will likely meet a different sort of person: cold and brutal. He legitimizes the few times (ICly, of course) he has had to be openly violent by telling himself that they insisted on bringing it upon themselves. Nathan is not a killer, and he abhors ending lives in general, but should he ever be put into a situation where he has to, it isn't even really the same man occupying his large form.
- How did your character feel after his/her first kill?
Absolutely nothing, and that's what scared him.
Aside from helping to fend off poachers and brigands from his troupe when he was young, Nathan's one experience with cold, ruthless killing was he returned to the site of his family's slaughter, to try and come to terms with it. He met up with a few Ixal at the site... and in a cold fury, killed every one of them with nothing more than raw muscles and a large rock, taking a good few wounds for his trouble. He'd hoped to find closure, and did in one sense, but found in himself a capability for violence that saved his life, but which he hopes not to need again: it was neither exciting nor frightening, just empty and hollow.
- Does your character mull over it later on? (Exe. The nightmares)
Occasionally, but it has also made him even more determined to be the man he wants to be, one to spread good times and cheer, rather than just a burly archer and pugilist. The world has enough death and pain without making more of it.
Just don't break his lute. Do that, and you might as well put on an Ixal mask and start squawking, as far as he's concerned.
For a man of his size, who has essentially been a survivalist for a good part of his life, and who is better with his weapons than most people know, Nathan tries to avoid killing - and violence itself, preferring to find any way he can out of a violent situation when possible at all, preferring charm and evasion to violence.
This attitude is a combination of his lust for life, his desire to spread happiness and mirth to people, and a conscious stifling of the memory of how he lost his entire family and troupe, and the little village where they were performing, to the Ixal.
However, anyone who can push him to the point where he has no choice but to use weapons will likely meet a different sort of person: cold and brutal. He legitimizes the few times (ICly, of course) he has had to be openly violent by telling himself that they insisted on bringing it upon themselves. Nathan is not a killer, and he abhors ending lives in general, but should he ever be put into a situation where he has to, it isn't even really the same man occupying his large form.
- How did your character feel after his/her first kill?
Absolutely nothing, and that's what scared him.
Aside from helping to fend off poachers and brigands from his troupe when he was young, Nathan's one experience with cold, ruthless killing was he returned to the site of his family's slaughter, to try and come to terms with it. He met up with a few Ixal at the site... and in a cold fury, killed every one of them with nothing more than raw muscles and a large rock, taking a good few wounds for his trouble. He'd hoped to find closure, and did in one sense, but found in himself a capability for violence that saved his life, but which he hopes not to need again: it was neither exciting nor frightening, just empty and hollow.
- Does your character mull over it later on? (Exe. The nightmares)
Occasionally, but it has also made him even more determined to be the man he wants to be, one to spread good times and cheer, rather than just a burly archer and pugilist. The world has enough death and pain without making more of it.
Just don't break his lute. Do that, and you might as well put on an Ixal mask and start squawking, as far as he's concerned.
"But in the laugh there was another voice. A clearer laugh, an ironic laugh. A laugh which laughs because it chooses not to weep."
![[Image: 3610850.jpg]](http://assets-cloud.enjin.com/users/1266293/pics/original/3610850.jpg)
