- How does your character deal with killing?
Ryanti's system of beliefs and values are certainly in the 'ends-justify-the-means" realm. Because of that, he is often faced with adversaries that are opposed to everything he does. He understands that he lives in a time where it is often the one that survives that not only makes history but writes the books as well.
Because people treated him like shit in his youth, Ryanti has lost a lot of empathy for people he doesn't know. So he certainly is not going to deny that killing often is the easy solution to a complicated problem.
- How did your character feel after his/her first kill?
His first kill was sloppy. It was botched, and it left Ryanti covered in the residue of his deed. Physiclly, his body was shivering, and he was crying. His anxiety levels were off the charts and part of him felt like panicking. But at the same time, he felt very cold, detached, and distant. What scared him more than the act of murder was that he felt nothing on the inside. He was 'cold crying' in other words. He didn't know how to handle it. His mind was confused at what was right or wrong but his body knew.
- Does your character mull over it later on? (Exe. The nightmares)
He has had his fair share of emotional challenges because of the acts he has done. It definately effects how he feels about the people he cares about. He is very concerned about how the people he values would judge him if they see the side of himself that kills for his work in the reality he lives in. How he can basiclly do it without batting an eye. In a way, he is sociopathic towards people he does not know or who oppose him. His body count has gone up since he started taking on classified missions.
He is extremely vulnerable to watching the people he cares about suffer or die. This is what gives him sleepless nights and crying in the corner of a bathtub. He is hesitant with alcohol for this very reason, as he hss a fear of that coming out. He is also afraid that all of those emotions would eventually come to the surface and he would have a sort of mental breakdown at some point eventually. But for now it is a quiet emptiness. A shadow that follows him around.
Ryanti's system of beliefs and values are certainly in the 'ends-justify-the-means" realm. Because of that, he is often faced with adversaries that are opposed to everything he does. He understands that he lives in a time where it is often the one that survives that not only makes history but writes the books as well.
Because people treated him like shit in his youth, Ryanti has lost a lot of empathy for people he doesn't know. So he certainly is not going to deny that killing often is the easy solution to a complicated problem.
- How did your character feel after his/her first kill?
His first kill was sloppy. It was botched, and it left Ryanti covered in the residue of his deed. Physiclly, his body was shivering, and he was crying. His anxiety levels were off the charts and part of him felt like panicking. But at the same time, he felt very cold, detached, and distant. What scared him more than the act of murder was that he felt nothing on the inside. He was 'cold crying' in other words. He didn't know how to handle it. His mind was confused at what was right or wrong but his body knew.
- Does your character mull over it later on? (Exe. The nightmares)
He has had his fair share of emotional challenges because of the acts he has done. It definately effects how he feels about the people he cares about. He is very concerned about how the people he values would judge him if they see the side of himself that kills for his work in the reality he lives in. How he can basiclly do it without batting an eye. In a way, he is sociopathic towards people he does not know or who oppose him. His body count has gone up since he started taking on classified missions.
He is extremely vulnerable to watching the people he cares about suffer or die. This is what gives him sleepless nights and crying in the corner of a bathtub. He is hesitant with alcohol for this very reason, as he hss a fear of that coming out. He is also afraid that all of those emotions would eventually come to the surface and he would have a sort of mental breakdown at some point eventually. But for now it is a quiet emptiness. A shadow that follows him around.
![[Image: 8wQ4Jkf.png?2]](http://i.imgur.com/8wQ4Jkf.png?2)
![[Image: orVQTe3.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/orVQTe3.png?1)
