I generally try not to pug too much, mainly because I've had enough nasty groups that I tend to get anxiety flare-ups. I'm usually ok if I have people I know with me (1-2 others) but sometimes even then I get nasty people. Case in point:
When Caelia dinged 50, it was a time of "gear up enough to get the relic and move on up." I was high enough ilvl to run Lost City, and was using that to get out of my level 45-50 Wizard's gear (y'know, the stuff from the quests.) I had gotten the Darklight cowl and one of my friends had made rose gold accessories + Astrolabe for me to be able to pop into the dungeons that mattered to me. I decided I wanted to run Lost City again, husband joined me as the other dps. We get into the dungeon, and the healer immediately asks the tank if they can pull pretty big. Tank goes "sure!" and pulls the first two trash groups.
We wipe. Immediately it was on me, the blm, because I "wasn't doing enough damage" according to the healer. I shrugged it off and they pull again. I was quad-flaring, doing damage, doing more quad-flaring, we wipe again. The healer goes "I'm out of here, you have a bad black mage who can't do any freaking damage and can't play their class" and left after more berating I don't really care to remember, and some jabs from the tank as well. My husband finally goes "Hey tank, you wanna stop dying? You're ruining my dps." They try to do the "well things would be dying faster if the blm was doing their job right!" to which they got the response back "No, you're being an asshole because maybe if you were looking, you'd see she's still wearing her job quest equipment from levels 45 and 50. She can't do the damage you're looking for and instead you berate them for it? Really?" They said nothing more, and we left. It took me an hour to want to go back in. Husband tanked, and we went through two healers before we got one who stuck with the group (myself, mid-zeta husband tanking, and another fresh 50) since we weren't speed-running it.
The other time it was bad was when I was on my main trying to get my blm relic, on the Titan HM fight. We had two new healers healing it and a bitchy beyond belief tank who berated us every time we died. At the last time before we said eff it and left, the tank demanded we use the stack method for the weights. The only problem is that at the time, my connection was not that great and stacking was a bad idea for me (I couldn't ever get out in time because I was lagged out and I'd either be hurt badly or die.) I would stagger away from the group a little so one weight on me wouldn't kill me and it was instantly "Omg I'm going to votekick you, you're not listening you need to be stacking or are you too stupid to do that?!" I explained that no, I understood it but stacking was a bad method for me because lag. More berating, myself and the few FC members with me said "Nope, f you, we're out." and we left. Went back with a full party of FC members, cleared it in one go.
Recently though, it was only some slight passive aggressiveness that made me roll my eyes. I was in Sastasha as a level 15 conjurer, and regardless of actual level and gear, I know that things can go south pretty quick if a healer isn't on their A-game. In the Babby's First Dungeons I'm not entirely keen on stance dancing too heavily because of the aforementioned fights going south, but I was going back and forth, turning off stance when the tank got to about half life, and then going back to doing my subpar dps when he was near topped off/full health (my comfort zone.) One of the dps only types ">.>" and then marks the tank as "Target to Ignore 1." I know exactly why they did it, and I couldn't care less about it. I kept up on what I was doing and didn't hear anything else. I wasn't just standing when I could be helping, but ultimately? Sorry, my comfort in how often the tank should be healed is priority. Every healer has a different comfort level, and sorry you don't like it? But don't be PA and just ">.>" and say nothing to me otherwise. Looked the dps up later and saw they had whm at 60, and went "Oh. No wonder." That's not the way you get people to do something you want, you ask first. It's probably why I'm not looking forward to actually leveling AST at this point despite wanting to.
tl;dr I don't like pugging if I can help it because on the off-chance I don't get some pretty fabulous people, they're Grade A Dicks that make me wish I could do dungeons by myself and get exp for it.
When Caelia dinged 50, it was a time of "gear up enough to get the relic and move on up." I was high enough ilvl to run Lost City, and was using that to get out of my level 45-50 Wizard's gear (y'know, the stuff from the quests.) I had gotten the Darklight cowl and one of my friends had made rose gold accessories + Astrolabe for me to be able to pop into the dungeons that mattered to me. I decided I wanted to run Lost City again, husband joined me as the other dps. We get into the dungeon, and the healer immediately asks the tank if they can pull pretty big. Tank goes "sure!" and pulls the first two trash groups.
We wipe. Immediately it was on me, the blm, because I "wasn't doing enough damage" according to the healer. I shrugged it off and they pull again. I was quad-flaring, doing damage, doing more quad-flaring, we wipe again. The healer goes "I'm out of here, you have a bad black mage who can't do any freaking damage and can't play their class" and left after more berating I don't really care to remember, and some jabs from the tank as well. My husband finally goes "Hey tank, you wanna stop dying? You're ruining my dps." They try to do the "well things would be dying faster if the blm was doing their job right!" to which they got the response back "No, you're being an asshole because maybe if you were looking, you'd see she's still wearing her job quest equipment from levels 45 and 50. She can't do the damage you're looking for and instead you berate them for it? Really?" They said nothing more, and we left. It took me an hour to want to go back in. Husband tanked, and we went through two healers before we got one who stuck with the group (myself, mid-zeta husband tanking, and another fresh 50) since we weren't speed-running it.
The other time it was bad was when I was on my main trying to get my blm relic, on the Titan HM fight. We had two new healers healing it and a bitchy beyond belief tank who berated us every time we died. At the last time before we said eff it and left, the tank demanded we use the stack method for the weights. The only problem is that at the time, my connection was not that great and stacking was a bad idea for me (I couldn't ever get out in time because I was lagged out and I'd either be hurt badly or die.) I would stagger away from the group a little so one weight on me wouldn't kill me and it was instantly "Omg I'm going to votekick you, you're not listening you need to be stacking or are you too stupid to do that?!" I explained that no, I understood it but stacking was a bad method for me because lag. More berating, myself and the few FC members with me said "Nope, f you, we're out." and we left. Went back with a full party of FC members, cleared it in one go.
Recently though, it was only some slight passive aggressiveness that made me roll my eyes. I was in Sastasha as a level 15 conjurer, and regardless of actual level and gear, I know that things can go south pretty quick if a healer isn't on their A-game. In the Babby's First Dungeons I'm not entirely keen on stance dancing too heavily because of the aforementioned fights going south, but I was going back and forth, turning off stance when the tank got to about half life, and then going back to doing my subpar dps when he was near topped off/full health (my comfort zone.) One of the dps only types ">.>" and then marks the tank as "Target to Ignore 1." I know exactly why they did it, and I couldn't care less about it. I kept up on what I was doing and didn't hear anything else. I wasn't just standing when I could be helping, but ultimately? Sorry, my comfort in how often the tank should be healed is priority. Every healer has a different comfort level, and sorry you don't like it? But don't be PA and just ">.>" and say nothing to me otherwise. Looked the dps up later and saw they had whm at 60, and went "Oh. No wonder." That's not the way you get people to do something you want, you ask first. It's probably why I'm not looking forward to actually leveling AST at this point despite wanting to.
tl;dr I don't like pugging if I can help it because on the off-chance I don't get some pretty fabulous people, they're Grade A Dicks that make me wish I could do dungeons by myself and get exp for it.
