I'm going to bump (and reply!) to this, as I swear half the time I'm on this site, I'm simply (re)reading this thread. It helps to combat my instinct to constantly tell myself 'well look at everyone else having fun, what's wrong with you?'
I could also quote half the previous posts in my own, since I've read a lot of insecurities that I share with others -- also a nice feeling. Misery loves company and all that! But this one seems the most relevant to me, since I'm also attempting to reply with my own uncertainties, a topic I could definitely write several essays on, ha. I truncated it, but it definitely resonates with me;
This is basically my situation too. I've roleplayed for a long time, across many different MMOs, and I've never felt so walled-off (or felt that the greater community was walled-off) as I have in FFXIV. And as a result, I guess my biggest uncertainty is simply -- 'Is this all worth it?' trying to break into a community that seems so resistant.
Now, I try to chalk that up to a number of things. Obviously there are people playing here that have done so since pre-ARR (I was one of them, but I didn't stick around); obviously folks are more apt to have formed connections already and aren't really interested in expanding beyond them. Most MMOs, as far as RP goes, seem to be fairly guild-centric in one manner or another, too, so that's not a FFXIV-unique phenomenon. Maybe there was super-server drama in the past that frightened some people off of public RP, or expanding their contacts, I don't know. There are, I will concede, many reasons not to step beyond one's existing contacts. The RP community here seems to have a weird tumblr fetish too, though that's a different topic.
But this is definitely a new experience for me, and one that I'll admit has gone a long way to turning me off of the game in particular. Even in 'the-game-that-must-not-be-named,' which is quite a bit older then FFXIV, I never really had an issue finding at least some people who were amicable to new friends, wanted the lengthier connections (or even just an RP pal to do ingame things with), etc etc. Here, it feels like you're either part of the 'status quo' or you're an outsider -- you don't matter.Â
I've certainly tried. Wrote up a public page for the wiki, attempted to reach out to folks via the forum and ingame (and much love for those few who I have had the privilege of RPing with <3), even attended a few larger events, despite that they're not my forte at all, for the same reasons as Graeham lists in the quoted passage above. And because I am fairly shy, I'll concede that too. And yet I seem to have even fewer social connections than I started the game with, back before ARR. It's as though folks don't know what to do with someone who isn't a gritty mercenary or a kawaii catgirl, and who hasn't been around since 2000-whatever.
I do miss having those special sorts of friends -- the sort that you spend years RPing with off and on, that you can pal around and experience content ingame with. But I realize these are the rare sorts, too; and not even the point of my post! I'm letting myself be nostalgic for a second -- I'd be happy with more people to roleplay with, period, hah.Â
The (devil/angel) on my shoulder is telling me just to wait for Legion to launch so I can go back where I belong. At least I still enjoy other parts of FFXIV, as I've actually discovered I'm a decent tank and it's not totally frightening like I first thought it might be. Hooray dark knight!
I could also quote half the previous posts in my own, since I've read a lot of insecurities that I share with others -- also a nice feeling. Misery loves company and all that! But this one seems the most relevant to me, since I'm also attempting to reply with my own uncertainties, a topic I could definitely write several essays on, ha. I truncated it, but it definitely resonates with me;
(12-23-2015, 04:56 AM)Graeham Wrote: I never really struggled to find consistent role-play in the other MMO's that I invested in over the years. Yet in FFXIV I often feel as though what I want is completely different to what the majority of role-players desire.
I've never really cared much for large events that are bloated with participants. Even if there's a valid reason for my character to attend I often just avoid going simply because dealing with the chat scroll alone is troublesome. It also risks becoming very stale to attend ball after ball and drinking contest after drinking contest.
[...]
So I guess in many ways FFXIV is something of a culture shock. I often wonder if I'm alone in this regard or if I'm just not approachable [...] Though I do think that the bulk of role-players simply want to interact with characters that are designed to fit in with whatever event happens to be the 'next big thing' rather than those who seek to get people to head out into the wilds on a classic adventure.
This is basically my situation too. I've roleplayed for a long time, across many different MMOs, and I've never felt so walled-off (or felt that the greater community was walled-off) as I have in FFXIV. And as a result, I guess my biggest uncertainty is simply -- 'Is this all worth it?' trying to break into a community that seems so resistant.
Now, I try to chalk that up to a number of things. Obviously there are people playing here that have done so since pre-ARR (I was one of them, but I didn't stick around); obviously folks are more apt to have formed connections already and aren't really interested in expanding beyond them. Most MMOs, as far as RP goes, seem to be fairly guild-centric in one manner or another, too, so that's not a FFXIV-unique phenomenon. Maybe there was super-server drama in the past that frightened some people off of public RP, or expanding their contacts, I don't know. There are, I will concede, many reasons not to step beyond one's existing contacts. The RP community here seems to have a weird tumblr fetish too, though that's a different topic.
But this is definitely a new experience for me, and one that I'll admit has gone a long way to turning me off of the game in particular. Even in 'the-game-that-must-not-be-named,' which is quite a bit older then FFXIV, I never really had an issue finding at least some people who were amicable to new friends, wanted the lengthier connections (or even just an RP pal to do ingame things with), etc etc. Here, it feels like you're either part of the 'status quo' or you're an outsider -- you don't matter.Â
I've certainly tried. Wrote up a public page for the wiki, attempted to reach out to folks via the forum and ingame (and much love for those few who I have had the privilege of RPing with <3), even attended a few larger events, despite that they're not my forte at all, for the same reasons as Graeham lists in the quoted passage above. And because I am fairly shy, I'll concede that too. And yet I seem to have even fewer social connections than I started the game with, back before ARR. It's as though folks don't know what to do with someone who isn't a gritty mercenary or a kawaii catgirl, and who hasn't been around since 2000-whatever.
I do miss having those special sorts of friends -- the sort that you spend years RPing with off and on, that you can pal around and experience content ingame with. But I realize these are the rare sorts, too; and not even the point of my post! I'm letting myself be nostalgic for a second -- I'd be happy with more people to roleplay with, period, hah.Â
The (devil/angel) on my shoulder is telling me just to wait for Legion to launch so I can go back where I belong. At least I still enjoy other parts of FFXIV, as I've actually discovered I'm a decent tank and it's not totally frightening like I first thought it might be. Hooray dark knight!
