Character - Hirilonde Turuphant
I wish I hadn't done this one in character. It hurt a little.
I'm sorry, Hirilonde.
I wish I hadn't done this one in character. It hurt a little.
I'm sorry, Hirilonde.
Show Content
Part 1: The BasicsPart 1: The Basics
![[Image: RustyMusketeer.jpg]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a258/Polenicus/FFXIV%20Screenshots/RustyMusketeer.jpg)
1.What is your full name?
Hirilonde Turuphant, Captain of... no... no, sorry, just Hirilonde now. Old habits. I tend to go by ‘Havenfinder’ more often than not these days.
2.Where and when were you born?
Limsa Lominsa, though I’m told it was a near thing. My parents were fleeing... well, as I understand it, the plan was to flee Eorzea altogether, but my arrival convinced them to linger, and I guess Limsa agreed with them.
3.Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)
Anardil Turuphant - He was a Dragoon of Ishguard before I was born. Originally low-born, he rose through the ranks through hard work and skill mostly. If half the stories are true, he was three times the knight I ever was. The story didn’t end happily, though. He was disgraced, ended up duelling and killing a nobleman, and was forced to flee Ishguard with my mother. He never really recovered from it, and eventually went mad. A young Ishguardian knight was forced to put him down.
Aowyn Turuphant - My birth mother. When I was young, and my father was alive, she used to tell me stories about him in his glory days... though she left out the part where it went wrong. I guess they were her way of remembering the man she married as he kinda slipped into a dark place. Things were hard for us... I didn’t know any better, but I imagine her life before was a lot easier. When he DID die, she just... broke. She couldn’t go on any more. She died a few years later... no real cause, she just ‘stopped’.
Rihan - Rihan was a longtime friend of my father, and the one who helped him and mother escape Ishguard, and almost certain hanging. She was a miqo’te, and a bit odd even for them, but she was fiercely loyal, even after my father died. She stepped in and took over raising me after mother wasn’t able to, and made sure she was well cared for for the time she had left. It wasn’t until a few years after mother died, but Rihan was the one I called ‘Mom’. She died shortly after Isilme was born. Which was a shame... I think Isilme would have benefitted greatly knowing her.
4.Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
None that I know of.
5.Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.
Before the Calamity I lived in a nice little house in the Officer’s Ward of Limsa Lominsa. The Officer’s Ward doesn’t really exist now, nor does the house, and as far as my former position and rank, neither do I. So... I live in a tent making my way through the Twelveswood and Thanalan.
6.What is your occupation?
Formerly I was a Captain of the Knights of the Barracuda. Mostly I was responsible for training of new recruits, especially the ones sorely in need of a sense of honor and duty. Near the end I was put on frontline service, and fought at Carteneau.
Now? Well... no one remembers who I was, my home is gone, my wife... *Sigh*
Adventurer. I’m an adventurer now. That’s how I started out, and it looks like it’s how I will end.
7.Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200 lbs
Race: Hyuran (Midlander)
Hair: Red with some streaks of grey
Eye color: Blue
8.To which social class do you belong?
I’m not sure anymore. Vagrant, perhaps?
9.Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
Severe allergy to swords between my ribs. Other than that, I like to think I’m in pretty good shape for a man in his forties... alright late forties...
Turuphants have always been blessed with slow aging. Used to annoy M’ahayi that... nevermind.
10. Are you right- or left-handed?
Right handed.
11. What does your voice sound like?
The thunder of a true hero!
… Alright, alright. I’ve got a touch of an accent. (In OOC terms, he has a slight irish lilt)
12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?
I don’t know that I have a catch phrase. Hmmm... maybe I should fix that. Never too late, right?
13. What do you have in your pockets?
A cloak to wear over my armor when passing through dusty areas like Thanalan, a few gil, a compass, map, old crust of bread, a crystal pendant and... a picture of my wife, M’ahayi.
![[Image: mahayioldphoto.jpg]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a258/Polenicus/mahayioldphoto.jpg)
14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?
I tend to be pretty laid back, now moreso than in my younger days, but I DID always enjoy a good bar fight. There’s an art to it, of course. Can’t just stand up and start decking people, that’s not my style. I NEVER throw the first punch. You gotta know when things are getting tense, and pick the right moment to be a gobshite and try and be calm and reasonable. One of ‘em will lay you out, and then the fun starts.
![[Image: RustyMusketeer.jpg]](http://s13.photobucket.com/user/Polenicus/media/FFXIV%20Screenshots/RustyMusketeer.jpg.html)
1.What is your full name?
Hirilonde Turuphant, Captain of... no... no, sorry, just Hirilonde now. Old habits. I tend to go by ‘Havenfinder’ more often than not these days.
2.Where and when were you born?
Limsa Lominsa, though I’m told it was a near thing. My parents were fleeing... well, as I understand it, the plan was to flee Eorzea altogether, but my arrival convinced them to linger, and I guess Limsa agreed with them.
3.Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)
Anardil Turuphant - He was a Dragoon of Ishguard before I was born. Originally low-born, he rose through the ranks through hard work and skill mostly. If half the stories are true, he was three times the knight I ever was. The story didn’t end happily, though. He was disgraced, ended up duelling and killing a nobleman, and was forced to flee Ishguard with my mother. He never really recovered from it, and eventually went mad. A young Ishguardian knight was forced to put him down.
Aowyn Turuphant - My birth mother. When I was young, and my father was alive, she used to tell me stories about him in his glory days... though she left out the part where it went wrong. I guess they were her way of remembering the man she married as he kinda slipped into a dark place. Things were hard for us... I didn’t know any better, but I imagine her life before was a lot easier. When he DID die, she just... broke. She couldn’t go on any more. She died a few years later... no real cause, she just ‘stopped’.
Rihan - Rihan was a longtime friend of my father, and the one who helped him and mother escape Ishguard, and almost certain hanging. She was a miqo’te, and a bit odd even for them, but she was fiercely loyal, even after my father died. She stepped in and took over raising me after mother wasn’t able to, and made sure she was well cared for for the time she had left. It wasn’t until a few years after mother died, but Rihan was the one I called ‘Mom’. She died shortly after Isilme was born. Which was a shame... I think Isilme would have benefitted greatly knowing her.
4.Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
None that I know of.
5.Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.
Before the Calamity I lived in a nice little house in the Officer’s Ward of Limsa Lominsa. The Officer’s Ward doesn’t really exist now, nor does the house, and as far as my former position and rank, neither do I. So... I live in a tent making my way through the Twelveswood and Thanalan.
6.What is your occupation?
Formerly I was a Captain of the Knights of the Barracuda. Mostly I was responsible for training of new recruits, especially the ones sorely in need of a sense of honor and duty. Near the end I was put on frontline service, and fought at Carteneau.
Now? Well... no one remembers who I was, my home is gone, my wife... *Sigh*
Adventurer. I’m an adventurer now. That’s how I started out, and it looks like it’s how I will end.
7.Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200 lbs
Race: Hyuran (Midlander)
Hair: Red with some streaks of grey
Eye color: Blue
8.To which social class do you belong?
I’m not sure anymore. Vagrant, perhaps?
9.Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
Severe allergy to swords between my ribs. Other than that, I like to think I’m in pretty good shape for a man in his forties... alright late forties...
Turuphants have always been blessed with slow aging. Used to annoy M’ahayi that... nevermind.
10. Are you right- or left-handed?
Right handed.
11. What does your voice sound like?
The thunder of a true hero!
… Alright, alright. I’ve got a touch of an accent. (In OOC terms, he has a slight irish lilt)
12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?
I don’t know that I have a catch phrase. Hmmm... maybe I should fix that. Never too late, right?
13. What do you have in your pockets?
A cloak to wear over my armor when passing through dusty areas like Thanalan, a few gil, a compass, map, old crust of bread, a crystal pendant and... a picture of my wife, M’ahayi.
![[Image: mahayioldphoto.jpg]](http://s13.photobucket.com/user/Polenicus/media/mahayioldphoto.jpg.html)
14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?
I tend to be pretty laid back, now moreso than in my younger days, but I DID always enjoy a good bar fight. There’s an art to it, of course. Can’t just stand up and start decking people, that’s not my style. I NEVER throw the first punch. You gotta know when things are getting tense, and pick the right moment to be a gobshite and try and be calm and reasonable. One of ‘em will lay you out, and then the fun starts.
Show Content
Part 2: Growing UpPart 2: Growing Up
15. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Not as bad as it could have been. I guess... I insulated myself against the badness in this cloak of naive idealism. It was alright Dad died, I’d avenge him. It was alright Mom was crazy, I’d bring honor back to the name and make her proud enough she’d speak to me again.
It wore thin later on, of course. I was an angry kid, under it all. I wouldn’t let myself take it out on anyone else, so I made the world take it out on me. Like maybe if the world was too busy beating the shite out of me physically, it wouldn’t have time to take anymore from me. I got in a lot of fights... in Limsa Lominsa, that was damned easy, all I had to do was be a self-righteous little prat.
Got tired of that too, about the time I met Dyterium and company.
16. What is your earliest memory?
Being carried on my father’s shoulders, as we watched the ships come in, with mother beside us. That’s when he told me what Turuphant means.
“Big Wooden Whaleâ€
Not exactly glamous, but literal translations rarely are. Apparently this language lacked a decent word for ship.
17. How much schooling have you had?
Not much as a kid. Couldn’t afford it, especially not after mother took ill. Mama Rihan made sure I knew how to read and write, and basic math and such.
When I joined the Cudas, I took advantage of their libraries to start educating myself better. I’m no scholar, but I’m no dullard either. And knowledge is more useful than a sword and shield sometimes.
18. Did you enjoy school?
What there was of it is kind of a blur. I just remember it being a place I didn’t really wanna be, filled with other kids who didn’t really wanna be there.
19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?
Rihan taught me a little basic bladework to start me out, but most of my learning came from an old paladin, a retired sultansworn from Ul’Dah by the name of Balasiel. I think... he saw how angry I was, and that I needed a positive way to channel it, to find a way to let it go and find purpose beyond hating the world.
The rest, bits and pieces I’ve learned from comrades, travelers... whoever had something to teach and was willing to teach it, I was willing to learn. To this day I’m learning new things.
20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.
My father, in a way... The role model I had wasn’t him... wasn’t remotely close. It was this mental image of him I built up in his absence. Kind of... how I wanted my father to be. More bits and pieces, taken from stories, and how I saw other kids interact with their fathers.
21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?
Father was rarely home... he was always out finding some new battle to spend his rage on, but his rage just kept on mounting, until... I guess he didn’t feel safe to be with us anymore. Mother... mother was... detached is the best word I can come up with. I was always close to Mama Rihan, though. She’d shake her head at my foibles, but she always seemed to know that right balance of support, and letting me work through my own issues.
22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A Free Paladin. Beholden to no lord or land by my own conscience. Feh... now that I’ve got it, I’d rather go back to the steady paycheck and three squares a day. I’m pretty sure I did more good corrupting the minds of young pirates with thoughts of honor and fair play then I ever did out on my own.
23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?
I enjoyed being competitive. I liked feeling superior, I guess, even if just for a few moments. Balasiel tried to steer me towards cooperative activities, teach me a foundation of working well with others.
24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?
Stubbornness, and a lot of buried anger that would pop out when I was stressed too far.
25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?
I wasn’t popular, but I wasn’t an outcast either. I had the usual circle of friends, belived the usual nonsense about no one ‘getting’ us and whatnot, and was a pretty average little turd. Maybe a bit turdier than most when I lost my temper. I did fancy myself a romantic, though.
26. When and with whom was your first kiss?
Ah... this lovely young flower of an elezen girl. Dark eyes, dark hair, pale skin, full, pouty lips... I was fourteen, same as her, and we had snuck off to avoid some of the adults conscripting us into some boring, menial task, and were hiding at the docks in between pallets of freight.
I’m afraid time and age has stolen her name from me. But I will never forget those eyes.
27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
*He chuckles and shakes his head* A married man with a daughter? I suppose you could assume I had adopted her, and had taken some vow of celibacy or... No, no, not a virgin.
My first time was... remarkably less memorable than my first kiss. I think, probably because it kind of trampled over all of my romantic ideas on how such things should go. One of my friends had nicked some rum from his father, and we all got drunk and kind of paired off. The girl’s name was Karen... highlander lass. Pretty enough. I don’t think I really meant anything to her, we hadn’t talked much before or since. I was more... a way of losing something she was eager to be rid of, I suppose. An act of rebellion against her father and his ideas of suitors for her I guess. It was clumsy and confused and awkward, and I remember thinking of the elezen girl during it.
Cassie. That was her name, Cassie. The elezen lass I mean. I don’t think I spoke with Cassie after that either. I was too ashamed.
28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.
I’m certainly not supernatural. But... I have seen how much in this world is supernatural. There are dark things in this world that would tear it down around them. Maybe these forces are more obvious now, but they were always there. My time with the original Crystalline showed me how important it is for people to stand up to them.
15. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Not as bad as it could have been. I guess... I insulated myself against the badness in this cloak of naive idealism. It was alright Dad died, I’d avenge him. It was alright Mom was crazy, I’d bring honor back to the name and make her proud enough she’d speak to me again.
It wore thin later on, of course. I was an angry kid, under it all. I wouldn’t let myself take it out on anyone else, so I made the world take it out on me. Like maybe if the world was too busy beating the shite out of me physically, it wouldn’t have time to take anymore from me. I got in a lot of fights... in Limsa Lominsa, that was damned easy, all I had to do was be a self-righteous little prat.
Got tired of that too, about the time I met Dyterium and company.
16. What is your earliest memory?
Being carried on my father’s shoulders, as we watched the ships come in, with mother beside us. That’s when he told me what Turuphant means.
“Big Wooden Whaleâ€
Not exactly glamous, but literal translations rarely are. Apparently this language lacked a decent word for ship.
17. How much schooling have you had?
Not much as a kid. Couldn’t afford it, especially not after mother took ill. Mama Rihan made sure I knew how to read and write, and basic math and such.
When I joined the Cudas, I took advantage of their libraries to start educating myself better. I’m no scholar, but I’m no dullard either. And knowledge is more useful than a sword and shield sometimes.
18. Did you enjoy school?
What there was of it is kind of a blur. I just remember it being a place I didn’t really wanna be, filled with other kids who didn’t really wanna be there.
19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?
Rihan taught me a little basic bladework to start me out, but most of my learning came from an old paladin, a retired sultansworn from Ul’Dah by the name of Balasiel. I think... he saw how angry I was, and that I needed a positive way to channel it, to find a way to let it go and find purpose beyond hating the world.
The rest, bits and pieces I’ve learned from comrades, travelers... whoever had something to teach and was willing to teach it, I was willing to learn. To this day I’m learning new things.
20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.
My father, in a way... The role model I had wasn’t him... wasn’t remotely close. It was this mental image of him I built up in his absence. Kind of... how I wanted my father to be. More bits and pieces, taken from stories, and how I saw other kids interact with their fathers.
21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?
Father was rarely home... he was always out finding some new battle to spend his rage on, but his rage just kept on mounting, until... I guess he didn’t feel safe to be with us anymore. Mother... mother was... detached is the best word I can come up with. I was always close to Mama Rihan, though. She’d shake her head at my foibles, but she always seemed to know that right balance of support, and letting me work through my own issues.
22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A Free Paladin. Beholden to no lord or land by my own conscience. Feh... now that I’ve got it, I’d rather go back to the steady paycheck and three squares a day. I’m pretty sure I did more good corrupting the minds of young pirates with thoughts of honor and fair play then I ever did out on my own.
23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?
I enjoyed being competitive. I liked feeling superior, I guess, even if just for a few moments. Balasiel tried to steer me towards cooperative activities, teach me a foundation of working well with others.
24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?
Stubbornness, and a lot of buried anger that would pop out when I was stressed too far.
25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?
I wasn’t popular, but I wasn’t an outcast either. I had the usual circle of friends, belived the usual nonsense about no one ‘getting’ us and whatnot, and was a pretty average little turd. Maybe a bit turdier than most when I lost my temper. I did fancy myself a romantic, though.
26. When and with whom was your first kiss?
Ah... this lovely young flower of an elezen girl. Dark eyes, dark hair, pale skin, full, pouty lips... I was fourteen, same as her, and we had snuck off to avoid some of the adults conscripting us into some boring, menial task, and were hiding at the docks in between pallets of freight.
I’m afraid time and age has stolen her name from me. But I will never forget those eyes.
27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
*He chuckles and shakes his head* A married man with a daughter? I suppose you could assume I had adopted her, and had taken some vow of celibacy or... No, no, not a virgin.
My first time was... remarkably less memorable than my first kiss. I think, probably because it kind of trampled over all of my romantic ideas on how such things should go. One of my friends had nicked some rum from his father, and we all got drunk and kind of paired off. The girl’s name was Karen... highlander lass. Pretty enough. I don’t think I really meant anything to her, we hadn’t talked much before or since. I was more... a way of losing something she was eager to be rid of, I suppose. An act of rebellion against her father and his ideas of suitors for her I guess. It was clumsy and confused and awkward, and I remember thinking of the elezen girl during it.
Cassie. That was her name, Cassie. The elezen lass I mean. I don’t think I spoke with Cassie after that either. I was too ashamed.
28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.
I’m certainly not supernatural. But... I have seen how much in this world is supernatural. There are dark things in this world that would tear it down around them. Maybe these forces are more obvious now, but they were always there. My time with the original Crystalline showed me how important it is for people to stand up to them.
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Part 3: Past InfluencePart 3: Past Influences
29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
I would say probably getting roasted by a pissed off dragon-primal, except not?
The day I met M’ahayi?
The day my daughter was born?
… No, not even that.
It was the day I met Dyterium Zelorius, John Spiegel, Dweia, Zalfaeyr... the day I joined Crystalline. Everything else came from that. Everything.
30. Who has had the most influence on you?
Probably Isilme, though she doesn’t know yet I’m still alive...
… What? Don’t look at me like that! If she’s like everyone else, I doubt she can even remember me! The Calamity spared our lives, but at the cost of our legacy! How am I supposed to... to approach her like this?
*He sighs and slumps a bit* Even if she does remember, she has mourned, and moved on. Until I know WHY we were spared... and what I’m supposed to do... maybe it’s best if she didn’t have to go through it all again.
31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
*He smiles a bit* Isilme Turuphant, of course.
32. What is your greatest regret?
You want me to pick just one? No... no it’s impossible. There’s too many I’ve lost, too many I’ve failed. You can’t live a life like mine without accumulating a mountain of regrets.
33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
*He leans forward and folds his hands together, sighing*
It was early in my relationship with M’ahayi. Loving her was... not easy. She was a criminal, stubborn, and sometimes I wondered if her repentance was more for my sake than any true guilt she felt for her crimes.
Then I met Luya. Luya was... Luya was EASY to love. She was beautiful, and she fed my ego. She made me feel powerful, and manly, and in control.
She convinced me of all the dark things I thought of M’ahayi... no... she helped me convince myself. And I confronted M’ahayi, and I left her pleas fall on deaf ears, and I callously ripped away the redemption I had offered her. And it nearly destroyed her. And at Luya’s urging, I tried to close my heart, to let it.
Finally, I showed M’ahayi the barest hint of compassion... And Luya turned on me. And I saw how little I had seen of her. I knew M’ahayi’s dark side, all her sins and evil were laid bare to me, and I loved her in spite of it. But Luya, I had not seen. I had blinded myself and...
She was cheating on me, of course. But worse, she had twisted a good friend to the point of suicide, and another to challenge me for her heart. She had spread lies about me, mixed with hurtful secrets to those I cared for, and in the space of a few days, she laid waste to my life.
Through all of it, M’ahayi never hated me. She forgave me, and begged forgiveness from me... for what, by that point I didn’t know. She didn’t ask for me to love her... just to know that she loved me.
I left Luya, left her ring and her lies and her games, and begged M’ahayi for forgiveness. And in the years since, no matter what others said, it was the right choice. To think I nearly destroyed something so callously...
That’s how I knew I had the potential for great evil in me. Great selfishness. I always had it, and I have it to this day.
34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?
No
35. When was the time you were the most frightened?
Shortly after Isilme was born, she started running a fever. This was when we learned that she was ill. She nearly died from it, and nothing we did helped. The best medicines the Alchemist’s Guild in Ul’Dah could produce... nothing. I have never felt so... helpless in all my life.
36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?
Ah, yes, THIS story! Something cheerful for a change! Yes, yes, I encourage you to laugh at my pain. I certainly do, it’s hilarious.
I was new to Crystalline, still a lad. So green behind the ears you’d mistake me for a baby goobbue. At any rate, there was this girl... her name was Raenef. Elezen wildwood, long silver hair. Former pirate... or perhaps just on hiatus, I’m not sure, but she was a vision. She shared with me a smile and a kind word, and like any foolish young man full of hormones and confidence, I imagined this equalled true romance. At the encouragement of a mischievous little lalafel named Casiala, I sought Raenef out, and dramatically poured my heart out to her.
… Whereupon I learned she was with another, but she thought my confession was absolutely adorable.
I had never been more shamed. But at the same time, it was an important deflation of ego for me, and a lesson. I was rejected and survived, and I am indeed able to look back on it and laugh.
37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?
Nothing. “The Ends do not justify the means. They are the sum of the means, as the road travelled determines the destination.†Like anyone, I sometimes wonder how things might have been different had I taken a different path, but in the end, if I cannot own my decision, and their consequences, what honor do I have?
38. What is your best memory?
For all of the hardships we later faced, the birth of my daughter, Isilme. She was... she IS a miracle. There hasn’t been a day she hasn’t made me proud.
39. What is your worst memory?
… You won’t believe me if I told you. No one would. Dalamud isn’t the first threat that’s arisen to end the Astral era, it was just the first successful one. It wasn’t just one event, forces have been building to bring about the Seventh Umbral for a long time, and the fight against it has gone on longer than I’ve been around.
My friends and I, in our heyday... we fought that fight. We won, too. One battle, anyway, among dozens, but it was an important one. A demon named Pandorica.... the Bringer of Evil to Man, he was called.
No, you don’t know him. No one does, that was part of the point, he was supposed to be forgotten/ so he’d lose his power.
… Yes, I know telling you about him is therefore counterproductive, but it’s moot. You won’t believe any of it once you leave here, and quickly forget. It’s part of the geas.
Anyway... we fought this demon. Won, too. Which why you won’t believe any of this in about ten minutes. But before he died, he turned his power on us. Pandorica’s Curse. The evils of man. Arrogance. Lust. Apathy. Hopelessness. Directionlessness. Loneliness.
We didn’t feel the effects at first... we laughed them off, but over time, we felt them. Some of us weren’t affected directly. For me, it attacked Isilme. For Dyterium, it turned those he loved away from him. For Johnson, it isolated him.
That moment of realization... of what was happening, of what might come... that was the worst memory I have. That sick, sinking feeling.
29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
I would say probably getting roasted by a pissed off dragon-primal, except not?
The day I met M’ahayi?
The day my daughter was born?
… No, not even that.
It was the day I met Dyterium Zelorius, John Spiegel, Dweia, Zalfaeyr... the day I joined Crystalline. Everything else came from that. Everything.
30. Who has had the most influence on you?
Probably Isilme, though she doesn’t know yet I’m still alive...
… What? Don’t look at me like that! If she’s like everyone else, I doubt she can even remember me! The Calamity spared our lives, but at the cost of our legacy! How am I supposed to... to approach her like this?
*He sighs and slumps a bit* Even if she does remember, she has mourned, and moved on. Until I know WHY we were spared... and what I’m supposed to do... maybe it’s best if she didn’t have to go through it all again.
31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
*He smiles a bit* Isilme Turuphant, of course.
32. What is your greatest regret?
You want me to pick just one? No... no it’s impossible. There’s too many I’ve lost, too many I’ve failed. You can’t live a life like mine without accumulating a mountain of regrets.
33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
*He leans forward and folds his hands together, sighing*
It was early in my relationship with M’ahayi. Loving her was... not easy. She was a criminal, stubborn, and sometimes I wondered if her repentance was more for my sake than any true guilt she felt for her crimes.
Then I met Luya. Luya was... Luya was EASY to love. She was beautiful, and she fed my ego. She made me feel powerful, and manly, and in control.
She convinced me of all the dark things I thought of M’ahayi... no... she helped me convince myself. And I confronted M’ahayi, and I left her pleas fall on deaf ears, and I callously ripped away the redemption I had offered her. And it nearly destroyed her. And at Luya’s urging, I tried to close my heart, to let it.
Finally, I showed M’ahayi the barest hint of compassion... And Luya turned on me. And I saw how little I had seen of her. I knew M’ahayi’s dark side, all her sins and evil were laid bare to me, and I loved her in spite of it. But Luya, I had not seen. I had blinded myself and...
She was cheating on me, of course. But worse, she had twisted a good friend to the point of suicide, and another to challenge me for her heart. She had spread lies about me, mixed with hurtful secrets to those I cared for, and in the space of a few days, she laid waste to my life.
Through all of it, M’ahayi never hated me. She forgave me, and begged forgiveness from me... for what, by that point I didn’t know. She didn’t ask for me to love her... just to know that she loved me.
I left Luya, left her ring and her lies and her games, and begged M’ahayi for forgiveness. And in the years since, no matter what others said, it was the right choice. To think I nearly destroyed something so callously...
That’s how I knew I had the potential for great evil in me. Great selfishness. I always had it, and I have it to this day.
34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?
No
35. When was the time you were the most frightened?
Shortly after Isilme was born, she started running a fever. This was when we learned that she was ill. She nearly died from it, and nothing we did helped. The best medicines the Alchemist’s Guild in Ul’Dah could produce... nothing. I have never felt so... helpless in all my life.
36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?
Ah, yes, THIS story! Something cheerful for a change! Yes, yes, I encourage you to laugh at my pain. I certainly do, it’s hilarious.
I was new to Crystalline, still a lad. So green behind the ears you’d mistake me for a baby goobbue. At any rate, there was this girl... her name was Raenef. Elezen wildwood, long silver hair. Former pirate... or perhaps just on hiatus, I’m not sure, but she was a vision. She shared with me a smile and a kind word, and like any foolish young man full of hormones and confidence, I imagined this equalled true romance. At the encouragement of a mischievous little lalafel named Casiala, I sought Raenef out, and dramatically poured my heart out to her.
… Whereupon I learned she was with another, but she thought my confession was absolutely adorable.
I had never been more shamed. But at the same time, it was an important deflation of ego for me, and a lesson. I was rejected and survived, and I am indeed able to look back on it and laugh.
37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?
Nothing. “The Ends do not justify the means. They are the sum of the means, as the road travelled determines the destination.†Like anyone, I sometimes wonder how things might have been different had I taken a different path, but in the end, if I cannot own my decision, and their consequences, what honor do I have?
38. What is your best memory?
For all of the hardships we later faced, the birth of my daughter, Isilme. She was... she IS a miracle. There hasn’t been a day she hasn’t made me proud.
39. What is your worst memory?
… You won’t believe me if I told you. No one would. Dalamud isn’t the first threat that’s arisen to end the Astral era, it was just the first successful one. It wasn’t just one event, forces have been building to bring about the Seventh Umbral for a long time, and the fight against it has gone on longer than I’ve been around.
My friends and I, in our heyday... we fought that fight. We won, too. One battle, anyway, among dozens, but it was an important one. A demon named Pandorica.... the Bringer of Evil to Man, he was called.
No, you don’t know him. No one does, that was part of the point, he was supposed to be forgotten/ so he’d lose his power.
… Yes, I know telling you about him is therefore counterproductive, but it’s moot. You won’t believe any of it once you leave here, and quickly forget. It’s part of the geas.
Anyway... we fought this demon. Won, too. Which why you won’t believe any of this in about ten minutes. But before he died, he turned his power on us. Pandorica’s Curse. The evils of man. Arrogance. Lust. Apathy. Hopelessness. Directionlessness. Loneliness.
We didn’t feel the effects at first... we laughed them off, but over time, we felt them. Some of us weren’t affected directly. For me, it attacked Isilme. For Dyterium, it turned those he loved away from him. For Johnson, it isolated him.
That moment of realization... of what was happening, of what might come... that was the worst memory I have. That sick, sinking feeling.
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Part 4: Beliefs And OpinionsPart 4: Beliefs And Opinions
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
Why be pessimistic? If you’re right, things are terrible, and if you’re wrong, the nice things that DO happen are marred with you being proven wrong, and never quite being able to trust them.
41. What is your greatest fear?
My greatest fear... came to pass. The only thing I fear is dying before I made the most of this borrowed time I’ve been given.
42. What are your religious views?
I’m not exactly pious. I know that’s the image of the Holy Knight and all, but, honestly... I’ve seen enough of gods and demons to know that I have to make my own way, the price of their aid tends to be too dear. Oschon guides me, but I prefer to think of him as a travelling companion. When my time finally comes to join my ancestors, I hope I have a few stories to tell him as payment of passage.
43. What are your political views?
Politicians are simple to understand. They’re just people, with a very specialized job. Their job is to stay in power, be they Prince or Prime Minister, and they do that by keeping the people happy, healthy and the nation well and strong.
Some of them are better at it than others, some slack off on the job, some are utterly misguided, and some are crooked, but it’s just like any other job. And they’re not any more enlightened than I am.
So I make my decisions on a case-by-case basis, like I feel everyone should.
… Though I have to admit to a weakness to a lady in uniform. And there is no more regal a lady in Limsa than the good Admiral.
44. What are your views on sex?
Heh... Â we live in a world where people are more scandalized by a couple making love in a dark alley than a murder in the same. We are still very much at the wrong cardinal of THAT moral compass. Live and let live, love and let love.
45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?
*His expression darkens* Killing is wrong. As much as we like to justify, and pray to the elementals, and no matter the benefit, it is a wrong done to another soul. The smallest dormouse, the smallest flea, even... a wrong. An evil that our world requires of us to survive, to maintain balance.
To kill a man is a tremendous evil, a tremendous burden on one’s soul. It must always be for an equivalent good. And there is so much killing that isn’t...
*He takes a deep breath* I suppose that doesn’t make sense, does it? Let’s just say... I never take a life lightly. No matter how stained and worthless it might seem.
46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
Seek to strip another man of his free will, and his right to choose.
47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
Yes. *He smiles* Yes, of course. I also believe that soul mates aren’t something predetermined by fate, destined forever. To hear another’s soul, to reflect it in your own... that is special and rare, and all too difficult to achieve, much less sustain.
48. What do you believe makes a successful life?
To follow your beliefs to the end, no matter what. The man who has sold his heart and loyalty to gil or blind loyalty is a sad, empty creature.
49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?
I’m not a complex man. Maybe a bit moreso than I was thirty years ago... everyone has secrets after all, and after this long, they pile up... But no, I’m not really the type to hide my feelings from someone. Most tend to know how I feel about them or what they’re doing rather quickly.
Still, was never quite the firecracker Isilme is.
50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
The aforementioned weakness for a lady in uniform?
Or any pretty face, truly. Especially one in need of aid.
51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?
I will not betray a trust. My word is... in the past figuratively, but now quite literally... all I have.
52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
I’ve been willing to die for more people and causes than I can count. There are no shortage of things worth dying for in this world. Not the least of which is the world itself, though personally I think that one has come up far too often as of late.
A better question would be... what will keep you alive, when it’s easier to die? What will keep you on your feet when you want nothing more than to sink to your knees?
I used to have a very good answer for that question. Now?... I’m searching.
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
Why be pessimistic? If you’re right, things are terrible, and if you’re wrong, the nice things that DO happen are marred with you being proven wrong, and never quite being able to trust them.
41. What is your greatest fear?
My greatest fear... came to pass. The only thing I fear is dying before I made the most of this borrowed time I’ve been given.
42. What are your religious views?
I’m not exactly pious. I know that’s the image of the Holy Knight and all, but, honestly... I’ve seen enough of gods and demons to know that I have to make my own way, the price of their aid tends to be too dear. Oschon guides me, but I prefer to think of him as a travelling companion. When my time finally comes to join my ancestors, I hope I have a few stories to tell him as payment of passage.
43. What are your political views?
Politicians are simple to understand. They’re just people, with a very specialized job. Their job is to stay in power, be they Prince or Prime Minister, and they do that by keeping the people happy, healthy and the nation well and strong.
Some of them are better at it than others, some slack off on the job, some are utterly misguided, and some are crooked, but it’s just like any other job. And they’re not any more enlightened than I am.
So I make my decisions on a case-by-case basis, like I feel everyone should.
… Though I have to admit to a weakness to a lady in uniform. And there is no more regal a lady in Limsa than the good Admiral.
44. What are your views on sex?
Heh... Â we live in a world where people are more scandalized by a couple making love in a dark alley than a murder in the same. We are still very much at the wrong cardinal of THAT moral compass. Live and let live, love and let love.
45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?
*His expression darkens* Killing is wrong. As much as we like to justify, and pray to the elementals, and no matter the benefit, it is a wrong done to another soul. The smallest dormouse, the smallest flea, even... a wrong. An evil that our world requires of us to survive, to maintain balance.
To kill a man is a tremendous evil, a tremendous burden on one’s soul. It must always be for an equivalent good. And there is so much killing that isn’t...
*He takes a deep breath* I suppose that doesn’t make sense, does it? Let’s just say... I never take a life lightly. No matter how stained and worthless it might seem.
46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
Seek to strip another man of his free will, and his right to choose.
47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
Yes. *He smiles* Yes, of course. I also believe that soul mates aren’t something predetermined by fate, destined forever. To hear another’s soul, to reflect it in your own... that is special and rare, and all too difficult to achieve, much less sustain.
48. What do you believe makes a successful life?
To follow your beliefs to the end, no matter what. The man who has sold his heart and loyalty to gil or blind loyalty is a sad, empty creature.
49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?
I’m not a complex man. Maybe a bit moreso than I was thirty years ago... everyone has secrets after all, and after this long, they pile up... But no, I’m not really the type to hide my feelings from someone. Most tend to know how I feel about them or what they’re doing rather quickly.
Still, was never quite the firecracker Isilme is.
50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
The aforementioned weakness for a lady in uniform?
Or any pretty face, truly. Especially one in need of aid.
51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?
I will not betray a trust. My word is... in the past figuratively, but now quite literally... all I have.
52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
I’ve been willing to die for more people and causes than I can count. There are no shortage of things worth dying for in this world. Not the least of which is the world itself, though personally I think that one has come up far too often as of late.
A better question would be... what will keep you alive, when it’s easier to die? What will keep you on your feet when you want nothing more than to sink to your knees?
I used to have a very good answer for that question. Now?... I’m searching.
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Part 5: Relationships With OthersPart 5: Relationships With Others
53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?
One lesson I was never able to impart to Isilme is civility. She’s too headstrong to be good at it, but... Even when facing your worst enemy, there’s no gain in discarding civility.
Besides, you’d be surprised what you can learn if you keep someone talking long enough. They’re less likely to do that if you’re lunging for their throat right off the bat.
As for less grim circumstances... everyone you meet has their own story. That surly waitress has a reason to be surly. That rude man who pushes past you in the street has a reason for his haste. No matter how petty they might seem, their reasons are important to them. If you can keep a civil tongue and manner, you might just remind them of theirs.
And who knows? You might find out their story is more interesting than you think.
54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Isilme. I literally have no one left, after all.
55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?
Dyterium.
It’s painful to know that he passed without us ever quite seeing eye-to-eye. He disapproved of M’ahayi. Strongly. But... he was one of the most noble and knightly men I ever met. He deserved a better end than he got.
56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.
My friends are all dead now. I have a few acquaintances, but none of them remember me. I’m alone.
57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.
… You already know that story.
58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.
Many times... You know more than enough of that story as well I think.
59. What do you look for in a potential lover?
I’ll know it when I see it. But... I think perhaps it might be awhile before I’m coaxed back into that game. If at all.
60. How close are you to your family?
… Not as close as I like. Not as close as I should have been.
61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?
I married M’ahayi, and had one daughter. More... were not an option.
62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?
I doubt I have anyone left. I wouldn’t seek to burden Isilme with it... she seems to have beaten her sword into a ploughshare, and I will not rob that from her.
Maybe in time I will find others I can lean on.
63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?
Protection was always MY job. I am the one others trusted to be protected by.
64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?
I’ve already been mourned. Got a nice little gravesite up on the hill overlooking the sea, next to my wife. Just procrastinating about lying down in it.
M’ahayi will understand. I was often late coming home when there was work to do.
65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?
I don’t despise anyone that much anymore, I think. Hate is very... tiring.
I hate actions, I hate situations, but people? I haven’t met anyone truly worth that kind of effort in a long time. Maybe that will change, but I’d be perfectly content if it didn’t.
66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
Arguments imply you’re unsure of your position. I don’t feel the need to bludgeon my viewpoint into someone else’s skull, with words or fists. I’ll share it, and it’s theirs to take or leave.
… I don’t mind making it clear that I won’t tolerate them trying to bludgeon anything into MY skull, however. Actually, it can be a lot of fun. Good way to unwind.
67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
I lead if needed. I follow if needed. I do what’s needed.
68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?
I prefer smaller groups. Large groups tend to drown things out with noise and confusion.
69. Do you care what others think of you?
Perhaps. I certainly don’t mind earning a smile from the pretty young desk clerk, or making a group of children laugh with a joke or a trick. I guess... it’s less what they think of me, and more I want to know I at least made them smile.
53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?
One lesson I was never able to impart to Isilme is civility. She’s too headstrong to be good at it, but... Even when facing your worst enemy, there’s no gain in discarding civility.
Besides, you’d be surprised what you can learn if you keep someone talking long enough. They’re less likely to do that if you’re lunging for their throat right off the bat.
As for less grim circumstances... everyone you meet has their own story. That surly waitress has a reason to be surly. That rude man who pushes past you in the street has a reason for his haste. No matter how petty they might seem, their reasons are important to them. If you can keep a civil tongue and manner, you might just remind them of theirs.
And who knows? You might find out their story is more interesting than you think.
54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Isilme. I literally have no one left, after all.
55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?
Dyterium.
It’s painful to know that he passed without us ever quite seeing eye-to-eye. He disapproved of M’ahayi. Strongly. But... he was one of the most noble and knightly men I ever met. He deserved a better end than he got.
56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.
My friends are all dead now. I have a few acquaintances, but none of them remember me. I’m alone.
57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.
… You already know that story.
58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.
Many times... You know more than enough of that story as well I think.
59. What do you look for in a potential lover?
I’ll know it when I see it. But... I think perhaps it might be awhile before I’m coaxed back into that game. If at all.
60. How close are you to your family?
… Not as close as I like. Not as close as I should have been.
61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?
I married M’ahayi, and had one daughter. More... were not an option.
62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?
I doubt I have anyone left. I wouldn’t seek to burden Isilme with it... she seems to have beaten her sword into a ploughshare, and I will not rob that from her.
Maybe in time I will find others I can lean on.
63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?
Protection was always MY job. I am the one others trusted to be protected by.
64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?
I’ve already been mourned. Got a nice little gravesite up on the hill overlooking the sea, next to my wife. Just procrastinating about lying down in it.
M’ahayi will understand. I was often late coming home when there was work to do.
65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?
I don’t despise anyone that much anymore, I think. Hate is very... tiring.
I hate actions, I hate situations, but people? I haven’t met anyone truly worth that kind of effort in a long time. Maybe that will change, but I’d be perfectly content if it didn’t.
66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
Arguments imply you’re unsure of your position. I don’t feel the need to bludgeon my viewpoint into someone else’s skull, with words or fists. I’ll share it, and it’s theirs to take or leave.
… I don’t mind making it clear that I won’t tolerate them trying to bludgeon anything into MY skull, however. Actually, it can be a lot of fun. Good way to unwind.
67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
I lead if needed. I follow if needed. I do what’s needed.
68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?
I prefer smaller groups. Large groups tend to drown things out with noise and confusion.
69. Do you care what others think of you?
Perhaps. I certainly don’t mind earning a smile from the pretty young desk clerk, or making a group of children laugh with a joke or a trick. I guess... it’s less what they think of me, and more I want to know I at least made them smile.
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Part 6: Likes And DislikesPart 6: Likes And Dislikes
70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
Does saving the world count?
… Oh, and fishing. Best thing in the world, fishing!
71. What is your most treasured possession?
A small pendant, a crystal in the shape of a heart. It was the product of a friend of mine trying to create an artificial linkpearl... don’t ask me why, linkpearls certainly aren’t scarce. Best I can tell from all of the babble, she was doing it to see if she could. It’s actually one half of a larger stone. It used to glow, to let me know the person who held the other half was safe. It would change color to give me an idea of how they were feeling.
It doesn’t glow anymore... obviously.
72. What is your favorite color?
Blue.
73. What is your favorite food?
These little flour tortilla concoctions called tacos. Specifically this recipe from this place called Tav... Taz... some island nation. Tasty, filling, and portable... and nice break from sandwiches.
74. What, if anything, do you like to read?
I like a good dramatic story.
I have a book in my pack... a clever little book by a historian who combed through the memoirs of an Ala Mihgan soldier, and a Gridanian Bard during the border war in the Twelveswood a century or so ago. He managed to find one from each side who were recounting the same events... even referenced each other, and stitched them together into a compelling read.
Hope it lasts me a bit, it’s the only book I’ll likely have for a while.
75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?
I like just about anything with compelling music. The right bard and right song can make ANY tale special.
76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?
I tried out a pipe once. Hoped it’d make me look sophisticated. Nearly threw up... how was I supposed to know you don’t actually inhale the smoke? At any rate, I won’t turn down a good tankard of mead or beer.
77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
Usually I’ll find a good tavern to settle down in. Never was one for getting falling down drunk, but sometimes it’s just nice to absorb the atmosphere. Sometimes I’ll sit and drink, sometimes I’ll find someone to chat with, trade tall tales with. Sometimes I’ll find someone all too eager to beat their ideas into my skull, and I’ll explain to them, and their mates, why this isn’t acceptable.
That last one gets expensive, though. Barkeeps usually want you to pay for any tables, chairs, or walls you’ve broken. Trying to cut down given my currently limited means.
78. What makes you laugh?
Many things. Usually, happiness. Even the small joys are worth a chuckle or two.
79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?
I’ve seen far too much to be honestly shocked by anything anymore.
Offended? Something practically every day. Humanity is forever resourceful and obscene in finding ways to make itself suffer.
80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?
Find a pier, or a cliff... or hell a puddle if that’s all there is, toss a line in, and fish for a while.
81. How do you deal with stress?
Fishing, mostly. If I can find a sympathetic ear, I’ll bend it with my tale. Or listen to theirs, either will help.
82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
I prefer to think I’m good at coming up with plans spontaneously.
83. What are your pet peeves?
People who spend too long talking, but don’t bother to listen in return.
70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
Does saving the world count?
… Oh, and fishing. Best thing in the world, fishing!
71. What is your most treasured possession?
A small pendant, a crystal in the shape of a heart. It was the product of a friend of mine trying to create an artificial linkpearl... don’t ask me why, linkpearls certainly aren’t scarce. Best I can tell from all of the babble, she was doing it to see if she could. It’s actually one half of a larger stone. It used to glow, to let me know the person who held the other half was safe. It would change color to give me an idea of how they were feeling.
It doesn’t glow anymore... obviously.
72. What is your favorite color?
Blue.
73. What is your favorite food?
These little flour tortilla concoctions called tacos. Specifically this recipe from this place called Tav... Taz... some island nation. Tasty, filling, and portable... and nice break from sandwiches.
74. What, if anything, do you like to read?
I like a good dramatic story.
I have a book in my pack... a clever little book by a historian who combed through the memoirs of an Ala Mihgan soldier, and a Gridanian Bard during the border war in the Twelveswood a century or so ago. He managed to find one from each side who were recounting the same events... even referenced each other, and stitched them together into a compelling read.
Hope it lasts me a bit, it’s the only book I’ll likely have for a while.
75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?
I like just about anything with compelling music. The right bard and right song can make ANY tale special.
76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?
I tried out a pipe once. Hoped it’d make me look sophisticated. Nearly threw up... how was I supposed to know you don’t actually inhale the smoke? At any rate, I won’t turn down a good tankard of mead or beer.
77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
Usually I’ll find a good tavern to settle down in. Never was one for getting falling down drunk, but sometimes it’s just nice to absorb the atmosphere. Sometimes I’ll sit and drink, sometimes I’ll find someone to chat with, trade tall tales with. Sometimes I’ll find someone all too eager to beat their ideas into my skull, and I’ll explain to them, and their mates, why this isn’t acceptable.
That last one gets expensive, though. Barkeeps usually want you to pay for any tables, chairs, or walls you’ve broken. Trying to cut down given my currently limited means.
78. What makes you laugh?
Many things. Usually, happiness. Even the small joys are worth a chuckle or two.
79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?
I’ve seen far too much to be honestly shocked by anything anymore.
Offended? Something practically every day. Humanity is forever resourceful and obscene in finding ways to make itself suffer.
80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?
Find a pier, or a cliff... or hell a puddle if that’s all there is, toss a line in, and fish for a while.
81. How do you deal with stress?
Fishing, mostly. If I can find a sympathetic ear, I’ll bend it with my tale. Or listen to theirs, either will help.
82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
I prefer to think I’m good at coming up with plans spontaneously.
83. What are your pet peeves?
People who spend too long talking, but don’t bother to listen in return.
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Part 7: Self Images And Etc.Part 7: Self Images And Etc.
84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?
Normal routine, huh? Things used to be very nicely routine. Wake up well before any sane person should be up... get dragged back to bed by the wife... eventually manage to tear myself away, usually still early enough to get the recruits grumbling as they dragged their sorry arses out of their cots. Take them out for a run, a good ten or fifteen malms, or if they were new, until about half of them were puking their guts out. Then into drills and the routine of military training.
Now? I still get up early, though not for the same reasons. Usually a nightmare now. I get up and find some poor training dummy, dead stump, or whatever and beat the hell out of it until I calm down. Then I break down my camp and decide what direction to head in, and leave the rest up to the winds.
85. What is your greatest strength as a person?
A stubborn refusal to die?
… no, I’m not going to call that a strength. I’m not sure.
86. What is your greatest weakness?
Heh... A stubborn refusal to die.
87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I’m not sure there is much. I earned my grey hairs and scars honestly.
88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
Depends how pretty the girl is.
89. Are you generally organized or messy?
Being in the military taught me the value or order. Being married taught me the value of picking up after my own damn self.
90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.
I’m good at fishing.
… What? Yes, maybe I’ve got a lot of practise with the sword and shield, but at the end of the day, the one I feel GOOD about... is that I am good at fishing.
As for what I’m BAD at? Questionnaires. I ramble. I’m also pretty crap at games of chance. Izzy used to win her way out of the dishes night after night beating me at Cribbage.
And I’m bad at not living in the past. I’m trying to be better, but... I’m bad at it right now.
91. Do you like yourself?
No.
I don’t hate myself, either, mind you. I’m just... confused as to why I’m still HERE.
92. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)
Publically? For truth, justice, and the paladinny way, or something like that.
Privately? I don’t know anything else. It was this and soldiering. That’s it. I could have easily done other things with my life, but... I have... a compulsion, I guess. I have to be doing something to make a difference. I’m an impatient, immature man, and I need to make change happen.
I suppose a fisherman can make the world a better place just as well, putting food on the table of more than his own, but... that’s not enough. I know I can’t force the world to change, to be better, to be kinder and safer and happier. But I can’t stop trying.
93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?
Living, mostly. Until it’s time to stop.
94. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Somewhere with friends and loved ones. That’d be nice.
95. If you could choose, how would you want to die?
It’s not possible to die the way I want to die. The person I’d want to be with me when I went up and left without me.
96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.
Kiss my granddaughter goodbye.
Find one last person and make their life better somehow. Even a little.
Ask M’ahayi to forgive me.
97. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?
I want to be remembered. That’s all.
98. What three words best describe your personality?
… I don’t know.
99. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
“Foolish†is the only word I can think of at the moment.
100. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)
You’re not as alone as you think. I’m sorry that your life has turned out this way, but M’ahayi will always be waiting for you, as long as it takes. In the meantime, while you’re still needed here... she wants you to be happy. I know because she never wanted anything else for you, ever.
84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?
Normal routine, huh? Things used to be very nicely routine. Wake up well before any sane person should be up... get dragged back to bed by the wife... eventually manage to tear myself away, usually still early enough to get the recruits grumbling as they dragged their sorry arses out of their cots. Take them out for a run, a good ten or fifteen malms, or if they were new, until about half of them were puking their guts out. Then into drills and the routine of military training.
Now? I still get up early, though not for the same reasons. Usually a nightmare now. I get up and find some poor training dummy, dead stump, or whatever and beat the hell out of it until I calm down. Then I break down my camp and decide what direction to head in, and leave the rest up to the winds.
85. What is your greatest strength as a person?
A stubborn refusal to die?
… no, I’m not going to call that a strength. I’m not sure.
86. What is your greatest weakness?
Heh... A stubborn refusal to die.
87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I’m not sure there is much. I earned my grey hairs and scars honestly.
88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
Depends how pretty the girl is.
89. Are you generally organized or messy?
Being in the military taught me the value or order. Being married taught me the value of picking up after my own damn self.
90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.
I’m good at fishing.
… What? Yes, maybe I’ve got a lot of practise with the sword and shield, but at the end of the day, the one I feel GOOD about... is that I am good at fishing.
As for what I’m BAD at? Questionnaires. I ramble. I’m also pretty crap at games of chance. Izzy used to win her way out of the dishes night after night beating me at Cribbage.
And I’m bad at not living in the past. I’m trying to be better, but... I’m bad at it right now.
91. Do you like yourself?
No.
I don’t hate myself, either, mind you. I’m just... confused as to why I’m still HERE.
92. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)
Publically? For truth, justice, and the paladinny way, or something like that.
Privately? I don’t know anything else. It was this and soldiering. That’s it. I could have easily done other things with my life, but... I have... a compulsion, I guess. I have to be doing something to make a difference. I’m an impatient, immature man, and I need to make change happen.
I suppose a fisherman can make the world a better place just as well, putting food on the table of more than his own, but... that’s not enough. I know I can’t force the world to change, to be better, to be kinder and safer and happier. But I can’t stop trying.
93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?
Living, mostly. Until it’s time to stop.
94. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Somewhere with friends and loved ones. That’d be nice.
95. If you could choose, how would you want to die?
It’s not possible to die the way I want to die. The person I’d want to be with me when I went up and left without me.
96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.
Kiss my granddaughter goodbye.
Find one last person and make their life better somehow. Even a little.
Ask M’ahayi to forgive me.
97. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?
I want to be remembered. That’s all.
98. What three words best describe your personality?
… I don’t know.
99. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
“Foolish†is the only word I can think of at the moment.
100. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)
You’re not as alone as you think. I’m sorry that your life has turned out this way, but M’ahayi will always be waiting for you, as long as it takes. In the meantime, while you’re still needed here... she wants you to be happy. I know because she never wanted anything else for you, ever.
![[Image: Newsig.jpg]](http://s13.photobucket.com/user/Polenicus/media/Signatures%20and%20Avatars/Newsig.jpg.html)
