History?
Have you acquired one of these rings for me to examine yet?
I still don’t understand how you plan to examine anything without eyes or hands.
Stranger things have happened, Lum.
I suppose. Â Who would have guessed that Dalamud was Bahamut, for example?
Or that Wanderer’s Palace was hidden under Bronze Lake?
Or that Mistress Denn was a Garlean?
Or that Ellion would fall in love with you?
What do you mean?
Magitek devices are well-versed in the messy fundamentals of biological romance, Lum.
Is it so obvious?
When he packed me into a trunk before burning down the Night Blade headquarters?  Yes, that subtle act of kindness managed to make an impression on me.  He didn’t pack anyone else’s belongings and move them.
No one else was stupid enough to leave their things behind.
No doubt, no doubt.  But why didn’t you stop him burning down our home?
It’s…I didn’t want to stop him.
Don’t you think his burning down the headquarters was a bit excessive?
It was, but…
But?
Was it really excessive?  Ellion thought Denn knew something about our base.  She’s had plenty of time to plan her strategy.  The old headquarters could have been trapped.  There were the caves underneath…Denn could have let someone get inside.  Maybe there were magical traps that would only activate after a certain time.  Ellion did what he could to protect us.  It may not have been the best plan, but maybe it was the only option at the time.
Bah. Â The pathetic justifications of a love-sick fool.
I’m not love sick.
Who gave you those flowers you keep on the dresser.
I…  He…
By the Twelve, you’re blushing.
What do you know?  You don’t even have eyes!
I have an IR detector, which, if anything, is better. Â Your body temperature just increased, causing a red shift in the infrared spectrum equal to 0.1 micro-yalms, easily detectable with my superior technology.
What does that even mean?
You used to wake up every night in a cold sweat, your organic substrate brain-processor filled with nightmares-
I’d dream about the Calamity…
Now you lie awake at night blushing and sighing. Â Organic processing is so non-linear. Â Admit that you love him and have done with it.
There’s nothing to admit.  Of course I love him.  He’s saved my life more than once.  How could I not?
How indeed. Â I thought I could work with you to replace some of your squishy emotions with the glittering logic of magitek machinery. Â Ah, the very thought of it fills me with pride.
If you’re a perfect, logical machine, why do you feel pride?
Don’t interrupt.  In any case, I now see that it’s hopeless.  More than any other biological limitation, love is specifically designed to subvert logic, making flesh-things perform the most ridiculously self-destructive acts.  Actually…
Don’t be cruel, History.
Has Ellion rejected your pathetic advances?
No, he loves me too.  But it’s complicated.  He’s…he has a history.
He’s keeping logs?
No, not a H.I.S.T.O.R.Y.  He has a past.  There are wounds on his soul that haven’t healed.
You waste a lot of time talking about healing.
I’m a healer.  It’s what I do.
Organic regeneration is…icky.  Glad it’s not a problem I need to deal with.
But you can break down, History. Â You need maintenance and repairs.
Speaking of which, where’s my battery?
I’m still looking for one.  I found a lot of magitek parts but none of them are the power supply you need.
Maybe Ellion can help you find something, if he’s not too busy.
Yeah, he travels a lot.  Maybe I’ll ask him.  I don’t want to cause him any trouble.
Oh, I’m sure he won’t consider a favor for you any trouble at all.  Love makes flesh-things perform the most ridiculously self-destructive acts, Lum.
History, that sounded positively evil.
Evil, Lum?  Me?  I’m a simple recording device, sitting here, waiting for you to share news with me from time to time.  Your secrets are always safe with me, Lum.
Even the ones that could hurt you.
Have you acquired one of these rings for me to examine yet?
I still don’t understand how you plan to examine anything without eyes or hands.
Stranger things have happened, Lum.
I suppose. Â Who would have guessed that Dalamud was Bahamut, for example?
Or that Wanderer’s Palace was hidden under Bronze Lake?
Or that Mistress Denn was a Garlean?
Or that Ellion would fall in love with you?
What do you mean?
Magitek devices are well-versed in the messy fundamentals of biological romance, Lum.
Is it so obvious?
When he packed me into a trunk before burning down the Night Blade headquarters?  Yes, that subtle act of kindness managed to make an impression on me.  He didn’t pack anyone else’s belongings and move them.
No one else was stupid enough to leave their things behind.
No doubt, no doubt.  But why didn’t you stop him burning down our home?
It’s…I didn’t want to stop him.
Don’t you think his burning down the headquarters was a bit excessive?
It was, but…
But?
Was it really excessive?  Ellion thought Denn knew something about our base.  She’s had plenty of time to plan her strategy.  The old headquarters could have been trapped.  There were the caves underneath…Denn could have let someone get inside.  Maybe there were magical traps that would only activate after a certain time.  Ellion did what he could to protect us.  It may not have been the best plan, but maybe it was the only option at the time.
Bah. Â The pathetic justifications of a love-sick fool.
I’m not love sick.
Who gave you those flowers you keep on the dresser.
I…  He…
By the Twelve, you’re blushing.
What do you know?  You don’t even have eyes!
I have an IR detector, which, if anything, is better. Â Your body temperature just increased, causing a red shift in the infrared spectrum equal to 0.1 micro-yalms, easily detectable with my superior technology.
What does that even mean?
You used to wake up every night in a cold sweat, your organic substrate brain-processor filled with nightmares-
I’d dream about the Calamity…
Now you lie awake at night blushing and sighing. Â Organic processing is so non-linear. Â Admit that you love him and have done with it.
There’s nothing to admit.  Of course I love him.  He’s saved my life more than once.  How could I not?
How indeed. Â I thought I could work with you to replace some of your squishy emotions with the glittering logic of magitek machinery. Â Ah, the very thought of it fills me with pride.
If you’re a perfect, logical machine, why do you feel pride?
Don’t interrupt.  In any case, I now see that it’s hopeless.  More than any other biological limitation, love is specifically designed to subvert logic, making flesh-things perform the most ridiculously self-destructive acts.  Actually…
Don’t be cruel, History.
Has Ellion rejected your pathetic advances?
No, he loves me too.  But it’s complicated.  He’s…he has a history.
He’s keeping logs?
No, not a H.I.S.T.O.R.Y.  He has a past.  There are wounds on his soul that haven’t healed.
You waste a lot of time talking about healing.
I’m a healer.  It’s what I do.
Organic regeneration is…icky.  Glad it’s not a problem I need to deal with.
But you can break down, History. Â You need maintenance and repairs.
Speaking of which, where’s my battery?
I’m still looking for one.  I found a lot of magitek parts but none of them are the power supply you need.
Maybe Ellion can help you find something, if he’s not too busy.
Yeah, he travels a lot.  Maybe I’ll ask him.  I don’t want to cause him any trouble.
Oh, I’m sure he won’t consider a favor for you any trouble at all.  Love makes flesh-things perform the most ridiculously self-destructive acts, Lum.
History, that sounded positively evil.
Evil, Lum?  Me?  I’m a simple recording device, sitting here, waiting for you to share news with me from time to time.  Your secrets are always safe with me, Lum.
Even the ones that could hurt you.