RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes

Qinsakura · **09-07-2010, 10:31 AM**

I guess I can throw my two gil in here. Interesting read this thread is. I have a story about my own adventure in online dating. I will spoiler it below so you can get a feel from where I'm coming.

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SpoilerI dated a lot in my younger days and I was very popular both in early school and onward into university. I have always been very careful with those I had chose to bring my life and it hasn't let me down too bad yet. In 2002, I was still in HS and had my son with my boyfriend since 8th grade. It was a mutual decision to have the baby, move in together, and take care of ourselves. I left my house that year and found myself being a slave-cave-mother for two males, instead of one. I was admittedly unhappy and everyone pretty much knew it. After graduating, we moved so that I could go to college. (Long story but he REFUSED to move more than 2 hours away from his family. I got accepted to Ivy League and but this douche first instead. I really wanted to make it work!)

He began playing FF11 in 2003 and pushed me to play his character when he was not home. I loved the game and wound up playing this "video game" MUCH more than I had ever thought. I got my own account at the poking of my linkshell mates. I made some really wonderful long term friends on that game. I was NEVER one to get involved with the budding Internet dating scene at the time because I honestly didn't need it. I became close friends with my static party who were mostly male. (My IRL friends are about 90% male.)

One of the friends was Sevren, a man 10 yrs my senior and who really tried to patch things up for my bf and I. He was a good friend online to my BF and I appreciated the talks with my bf which calmed many arguments. Sev had been twice divorced (the last 4 years prior) and was very strictly not dating. We played often together bc he was much more mature than most I played with. He had a son also and a family background almost identical to my own. We continued to play together as we played with EQ2 and WoW with our LS and my Bf. Things deteriorated heavily with my bf around Xmas of 2004 and I knew we weren't going to make it much longer unless I got someone to talk some reasonable sense into him. Everyone tried- online and IRL. He told our LS many times to be mean, "If you want her, come get her. She's not going anywhere." (Yeah I was dating THAT kind of guy.)

I took a vacation in Feb 2005 to Arizona (about 2k miles away) to meet Sev as a friend and a few others we played with out there. My bf refused to come because he didn't like flying. Sev and I talked for HOURS and the DAYS. By the time my 2 week vacation was over, I knew this was a man I really needed to consider. We had WAY too much in common, and our personalities were perfect fits. It was pretty obvious to all our mutual friends that maybe there way chemistry there. We continued to talk and I visited again and again in the next months. Introducing him to my son and testing those "you don't know a person until you live with them" issues.

By early summer, my bf and I had been split up since after Christmas. We were still living together bc HE would not leave! Sev and I had discussed everything from moving, family meetings, etc at long length. He decided after that he would move towards me. We've been each other's constant companion and best friend. We aren't the type to rush into things and this relationship was something that initially scared the shit out of us (and my parents!) I was barely 20 years old and moving in with a 30 yr old from across the country.

I had no idea (until he unboxed MANY RPG books) that Sev was a Roleplayer. I had never known anyone who RP'd in school or otherwise until I met him. We didn't have an ERP or even a RP relationship until we moved in together and played together as an IRL couple.

I agree with many that avoiding the whole fake RP relationship is a good idea in general. I can totally see how interactions with people could be misinterpreted and feelings hurt. I wouldn't (and still won't) agree to RP any sort of love interest unless I know that person very well. While I was playing FF11 early on, a Lser went to another stating that He thought he was in love with me. I was completely unaware when that person informed me of the conversation. We had not RP'd anything, nor did I flirt with him or encourage him. I was VERY quiet about my relationship as it deteriorated and only a handful of people knew we were officially done but living together. I addressed the man about his false feelings and we settled it fine! Infatuation is such a silly thing.

Internet dating is still not for me. I'm sure that if something were to go wrong with my marriage, I wouldn't choose to the internet to find his replacement. It was totally random to find Sev on my server, and I don't expect the Gods to deliver unto me another miracle man.

I am open to RPing flirtatious love interests with people I know well enough to not "get it twisted." The internet is a very wibbly wobbly timey wimey ball of stuff. Much like most large group gatherings, things can go very well with grounded good timers. They can also go VERY wrong with misinformation, guise, and carelessness.

I hope all of you find great times in the game and outside in your RLs. I look forward to getting to know many of you IC and OOC should I see you elsewhere about the Earth. Be careful and Be well!

RP-Relationship discussion

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes