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Lamiaris · **06-15-2016, 02:43 PM**

I'm very ill in real life and often I have to poof without warning to take care of my health; sometimes I'm able to come back to FFXIV, sometimes I can't..
I'm always scared that someone's going to flip out/ cuss/ scream at me due to such things; and also due to having to poof, I'm often too terribly frightened of being screamed at, Â that I stay off for the rest of the day TnT

McBeefâ„¢ · **06-15-2016, 03:04 PM**

(06-15-2016, 02:43 PM)Lamiaris Wrote: I'm very ill in real life and often I have to poof without warning to take care of my health; sometimes I'm able to come back to FFXIV, sometimes I can't..
I'm always scared that someone's going to flip out/ cuss/ scream at me due to such things; and also due to having to poof, I'm often too terribly frightened of being screamed at, Â that I stay off for the rest of the day TnT

Who screams at people :c

Idk, I used to be grumpier about such things, but everyone has lives, and this is just a game. Is getting yelled at a thing that happens often? I've found most people are pretty nice, I'm probably one of the grumpier ones out there.

Valence · **06-15-2016, 03:09 PM**

I'm sure only douches would get pissy at someone saying they have to poof away for health issues...

Kibu · **06-15-2016, 03:09 PM**

(06-15-2016, 02:43 PM)Lamiaris Wrote: I'm very ill in real life and often I have to poof without warning to take care of my health; sometimes I'm able to come back to FFXIV, sometimes I can't..
I'm always scared that someone's going to flip out/ cuss/ scream at me due to such things; and also due to having to poof, I'm often too terribly frightened of being screamed at, Â that I stay off for the rest of the day TnT

Something you might try is to send an ooc /tell or another method of contact to the person/people you're RPing with and tell them that you might vanish at any given time. That way they are aware that it's not something they did to upset you (usually my fear when someone disappears on me) and perhaps it will easy your anxiety a little because you know you didn't leave them wondering where you went.

Real life and taking care of yourself always comes firstÂ Heart

Lamiaris · **06-16-2016, 10:34 AM**

(06-15-2016, 03:09 PM)Kibu Wrote: Something you might try is to send an ooc /tell or another method of contact to the person/people you're RPing with and tell them that you might vanish at any given time.Â

Trust me, I've tried this. Some people still get very angry at me and get pissed off.. Sad

Most people are fine about it, but there are still a few people that act like complete derps about it..

Kibu · **06-16-2016, 12:47 PM**

(06-16-2016, 10:34 AM)Lamiaris Wrote:
(06-15-2016, 03:09 PM)Kibu Wrote: Something you might try is to send an ooc /tell or another method of contact to the person/people you're RPing with and tell them that you might vanish at any given time.Â

Trust me, I've tried this. Some people still get very angry at me and get pissed off..
Most people are fine about it, but there are still a few people that act like complete derps about it..

Wow, that's horrible D: I'm so sorry you've run into that! If it's any consolation at all, that tells me it's not you... it's other people being incredibly rude. If you've warned them in advance I can understand them being a little upset (because it sucks to be cut off in the middle of a scene) but holy cats - it happens, you move on, and obviously they were having fun so why would they take it out on their RP partner?? Ugh! Sorry. That's just rude. You deserve so much better than that.

Sending you all the loveÂ Heart

Ehzo'ir Tyaka · **06-16-2016, 01:10 PM**

I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

Kibu · **06-16-2016, 02:36 PM**

(06-16-2016, 01:10 PM)Selarian Cloverbloom Wrote: I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

What happens when two shy people offer up their contact info to each other?

...absolutely nothing! Neither one has the nerves to approach the other!Â Sad

I feel you on this one, Selarian. And I don't take it as an offense when people don't contact me in-game. I figure it's either a matter where we aren't online at the same time, or that the other person is fighting just as much anxiety as I am. The one time I sent a message to someone else in-game, even after they gave me express permission on here, I nearly had a full-blown panic attack. I'm prone to looking people up in the player search, then sitting there for a good half hour or so trying to make myself send a /tell but just can't do it.

The intent is there. The follow-through is... difficult...

Tara · **06-16-2016, 03:06 PM**

(06-16-2016, 02:36 PM)Kibu Wrote:
(06-16-2016, 01:10 PM)Selarian Cloverbloom Wrote: I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

What happens when two shy people offer up their contact info to each other?

...absolutely nothing! Neither one has the nerves to approach the other!Â

I feel you on this one, Selarian. And I don't take it as an offense when people don't contact me in-game. I figure it's either a matter where we aren't online at the same time, or that the other person is fighting just as much anxiety as I am. The one time I sent a message to someone else in-game, even after they gave me express permission on here, I nearly had a full-blown panic attack. I'm prone to looking people up in the player search, then sitting there for a good half hour or so trying to make myself send a /tell but just can't do it.

The intent is there. The follow-through is... difficult...

This....just....yes. Or your hands are shaking so badly you hit the submit button and then spend three minutes having a freak out.

Yune · **06-16-2016, 03:13 PM**

(06-16-2016, 01:10 PM)Selarian Cloverbloom Wrote: I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

I've felt this anxiety on many occasions as well. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily shy, but I'm a rather quiet and reserved individual who hasn't had much experience with reaching out to others or being the instigator of new friendships. This is part of the reason my FFXIV experience thus far has been about 80-90% solo play and no RP.

It's been coupled with my current insecurity about rejoining the community after my long break as I don't really know anyone and have no close friends who may help. I'm an unknown with no reputation (that I know of) so my hesitation in putting myself out there often spawns from that nagging thought of "why would anyone be interested in someone like me with no track record?" But as I don't know effective ways to really get out there in the mix, I have that fear that I'll just be stuck in limbo forever.

It also doesn't help my confidence when I do manage to meet people who actively seek me out at first, yet inevitably show me that they have no interest in me or my characters and would rather talk about themself and their own ideas all day while promptly changing the subject when I try to mention anything from my own side. I can understand being proud of one's creation or ideas, but from the perspective of the one who gets silenced repeatedly because of this pride, it flares up the crippling thought that perhaps I have simply nothing to offer anyone. I know that such things are entirely dependent on the types of people I come across, as not everyone is so self-centered, but my luck thus far hasn't helped me at all.

Kawaiimalz · **06-16-2016, 04:42 PM**

I feel my biggest insecurity is interacting with people I do not know well outside the game. Finding new people is hard, and I tend to oversell myself oocly when trying to lock people in for repeat RP or when I fear basic stuff I do scares people off I'll overcompensate and try to tell them I'm normal I swear. Outside of my FC, I really don't know how to find a lot of RP, and I'm always so afraid to do walk-ups. I try to hug to events but finding ones I can attend, and then being a stranger to everyone there...

Zhu · **06-16-2016, 04:59 PM**

(06-16-2016, 03:13 PM)Yune Wrote:
(06-16-2016, 01:10 PM)Selarian Cloverbloom Wrote: I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

I've felt this anxiety on many occasions as well. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily shy, but I'm a rather quiet and reserved individual who hasn't had much experience with reaching out to others or being the instigator of new friendships. This is part of the reason my FFXIV experience thus far has been about 80-90% solo play and no RP.

It's been coupled with my current insecurity about rejoining the community after my long break as I don't really know anyone and have no close friends who may help. I'm an unknown with no reputation (that I know of) so my hesitation in putting myself out there often spawns from that nagging thought of "why would anyone be interested in someone like me with no track record?" But as I don't know effective ways to really get out there in the mix, I have that fear that I'll just be stuck in limbo forever.

It also doesn't help my confidence when I do manage to meet people who actively seek me out at first, yet inevitably show me that they have no interest in me or my characters and would rather talk about themself and their own ideas all day while promptly changing the subject when I try to mention anything from my own side. I can understand being proud of one's creation or ideas, but from the perspective of the one who gets silenced repeatedly because of this pride, it flares up the crippling thought that perhaps I have simply nothing to offer anyone. I know that such things are entirely dependent on the types of people I come across, as not everyone is so self-centered, but my luck thus far hasn't helped me at all.

This is so much me. Even before leaving I was pretty much unknown by the community and now that I'm back I'm close to invisible and I am uncomfortable when close to someone popular that monopolize the scene (willingly or not). It doesn't help that I have major social anxieties about sending /tells to anyone and approaching new people usually require a monumental effort from me.

That's why I don't seek out long-term partners out in the public. It drains me too much to send those /tells and organize things. I'll still do it if I "must" but it burns me out. I'd rather do something more spontaneous like walk-ups and in-FC RP.

You are not alone!

Kilieit · **06-17-2016, 09:46 AM**

I had a legit nightmare last night - wherein I posted in the Making Connections forum for my character Confiance, but all I got was 11 pages of people telling me his backstory was bad and I should feel bad.

I just... subconscious, what?

ExAtomos · **06-17-2016, 10:02 AM**

(06-15-2016, 02:43 PM)Lamiaris Wrote: I'm very ill in real life and often I have to poof without warning to take care of my health; sometimes I'm able to come back to FFXIV, sometimes I can't..
I'm always scared that someone's going to flip out/ cuss/ scream at me due to such things; and also due to having to poof, I'm often too terribly frightened of being screamed at, Â that I stay off for the rest of the day TnT

Oh hey, I was just coming to post about how being chronically ill really affects my availability (or whether I can function much while in game). While I've not had RP partners bitch at me, irl "friends" have indeed ditched over me being sick so much. I got the game to help pass the time and sometimes I'm just not up for much more than staring blankly at the screen (other times, I'm okay for RP but not much else and everyone else is busy ; u ; ).

If you tell your RP partner that you have to go right then due to health reasons, I would hope (and expect) they'd understand. If you just go afk for a long time without saying anything, then they do have a good reason for being annoyed. Even a quick "afk, sick" will do. Make a macro if you have to.

JaxJonah · **06-18-2016, 06:55 PM**

One of the biggest things I have trouble with is random pub RP. My character is by no means shy and is often in pubs, but when it actually comes to me walking up I always have this short moment of "What do I say." I always end up deciding "Hey how ya coin" wouldn't be enough to keep the RP going in a steady pace, and just forget it all together.

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Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes