(12-22-2015, 04:11 AM)Solenne Wrote:You'd be surprised how nervous I am RPing with people for the first time in general. I was really scared the first time I RP'd with you and Isa 'cause I'm like....trying to include everyone but don't want people to be turned off by Ashe so afraid to interact with them?(12-21-2015, 07:04 PM)Ashe Wrote: I get worried about how my IC decisions OOCly affect other people...I was a little intimidated by you at first, but I wouldn't call you stand-offish.
Like sometimes Ashe does weird things or gets into weird situation and I'm always scared to OOCly piss someone else off because of it.
I'm also scared to plot things with new people 'cause I'm worried if the idea is stupid...also scared to plot things with people I know...I'm afraid that I'm too....overbearing about ideas even when I try to step back from IC situations I get worried then that people think I am ignoring their characters.
Another insecurity would be that my insecurities to people I don't usually RP with come off as stand-offish in OOC or people think I am intentionally slighting them when it's really just me being unsure how to proceed or trying to be general in communication when my character is surrounded by 10 other people >.<Â And I think Asheloux is a delight. Characters who act unexpectedly keep RP fresh and entertaining.
It's so unfair when people judge you (general you) by your character. I sometimes wonder how other RPers see me when they only know me as Solenne. She's reckless, snobbish, privileged, slightly diabolical, and very used to being the queen bee, while I'm this little mouse of a person who spends most of her free time hiding at home because people are scary. That's not to say Solenne doesn't have a lot of good qualities, but they aren't always what people see first. I just hope that doesn't end up reflecting too poorly on me.Â
On a completely unrelated note, I'm now slightly paranoid because one of my characters recently got OOCly rejected by someone whose character was romantically interested in her. His reason? He found out that I don't ERP. Now, I don't have anything against ERP - I want to make that perfectly clear. I just avoid it for personal reasons. But now I'm wondering, do I not write interesting characters? Are they not complex enough, not dynamic enough, to be worth pursuing for their own sake? Ugh... this is why romantic RP is such a minefield, and why I usually don't actively pursue it.
I think this is the problem I have with Sah and Aiden too...I'm so afraid that I will do something wrong that doing it at all makes me super nervous.
IRL I am quiet and not really super outgoing or anything which is weird when I am in a leadership position in an FC. I think people expect me to be super confident and sure of everything I choose for the FC but then in my head I'm all...am I bringing everyone down? or something >.<
URGH FEELINGS MAN.
Ask Orrin what it was like when I was first setting stuff up with him...I would apologize for EVERYTHING haha.
