A strong and noble soul... Journal and musings of a free lancer.

[cyrus9586]

This first post was removed due to story evolution. It simply no longer matched after having a proper story enter my head. Please read all posts below though. Also sorry for typos and wrong words. I normally work on these while I am at work using my phone and well auto correct makes fools of everyone. 

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586

[cyrus9586]

While I lounge around tonight under the stars I figured I'd write bit more. I just bought this blank book so why Not? So my name is Duglaz J. Corema. I'm a Lancer and a, I guess you'd call him a mentor, taught me some trade schools works. Black smithing and wood working. Not much just enough to make something now and then to sell for a room at the inn. 

 

I'm an orphan. I never knew my family. I was left on the doorstep of a church. I don't know where really. I took off in a caravan when I was a teen. By the time I reached Gridania I had managed to steal some armor and a lance. I jumped out before I was found and people just assumed I was from here.

 

It doesn't bother me. Not knowing I mean. I guess I wasn't worth their time or affection. 

 

I think that's enough for now. Oils burning out in my lantern.

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586
I hate auto correct. All posts need to be fixed.

[cyrus9586]

Another day another entry.

 

So if I'm an orphan where did my name come from? Well that is a cheat. It was on a short note left with me when I was a baby. "This is my son. Duglaz J. Corema. Please save him." I guess there was more but the priests wouldn't show me. They just told me "When you are of age to make a proper choice we will tell you."

 

I tried looking for other Coremas. No one's heard of them. So that's my name and my childhood was boring. I got into trouble. All. The. Time. So when I was a teen I left. 

 

Why don't I do something with my life? I do things. Just not great things. I heard the call to adventure and said no. I'll stay near town until I get bored then I will move to another one. Nothing holds me down so I'm free.

 

Why not join the Lancer's guild?

It's not that I can't. I'm very skilled

 Some have told me I could easily pass to become a Dragoon. But I don't see why I need to do that. I don't like the idea of risking my life. 

 

I'll write more later. Gotta sell a couple shields to afford a bed tonight. 

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586

[cyrus9586]

I had that nightmare again and this time I can record it before it fades from memory. A room filled with darkness with one flame in the center. This flame... it feels like a part of me. I know it is. Following lines from my flame on the floor I find candles at intersections. Each one looks like it is about to die or has just been blown out. I take a stick from my flame and relight them. 13 in all. As I light them one by one my own flame gets weaker. As I reignite the last candle my own flame blows out. Then a rushing noise comes from the darkness to me. I can feel all the darkness start to form into something and I wake up screaming before it can grab me. 

 

It's already fading and the fatigue of today is coming back. But now for the first time in years I have it recorded. I'll read this again later.

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586

[cyrus9586]

After a few hard days I had to face it. Selling cheap furniture we going downhill. With no Gil for a room I took to sleeping in a tree near by. It had been a week or two of skimping by on bread and fruit that was too rotten to sell when Mother Minnou told me of a group of people I should talk to. She gave me a slip of parchment with the address in lavender beds. 

 

It took me a few more days of considering it before I found myself at their door. 

 

I won't go into much about meeting them. I had my fears I mean the last group I was in was the church and I still have scars from the beatings they would give me to "beat the darkness out of me"

 

But I took the risk and ended up with a nice muffin, a bath, and some new clothes. For once I have clean clothes without blood, dirt, and holes in them.

 

It's kind of nice but in still weary. I don't think they will hurt me. Maybe I should trust them but I have too many chains binding me right now to just do it. 

 

We will need to see what happens.

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586

[cyrus9586]

I'm so tired I can barely see and write but I need to record this. I decided it was time to take life seriously after a few events transpired. I've always known about the mark on the back of my left hand. The outline of a five pointed star inked heavily into my skin. I was also aware of other symbols burned into my back. Branded with an unknown purpose but now I know on me are seals of holy and arcane nature. Something is hidden from me. I fear it. There's no other way to say it. It shakes me to my core. 

 

I haven't found a match to the rune on my hand and someone I met was the one to tell me of the seals. They are unique. Even when my flesh had been scared the rune remains untouched. So I decided that if I were to have them removed first I should be strong enough to deal with whatever comes from it.

 

I took the the company archives to see if there were any extreme training I could do. I found a few but it was at the Lancer's guild in Gridania that I found a book detailing trainings that I decided to do. The most extreme, dangerous, some say idiotic trainings of old. 

 

Fighting beasts with nothing but ones own skin and a lance, swimming in deep rivers with heavy rocks tied to ones self, balancing on top of a lance on one's own outstretched hand for hours or days on end, sprinting and tight rope walking with heavy lead armor on. All this I have started and more such as adding lead plating to my lance and challenging anyone who would to a sparring match.

 

My skills and body and growing every day and I have started studying all I can as well so my mind sharpens as well. Everything from fictitious works to tactics of battle. As well as meditation. When the time comes to embrace my fate I will be ready.

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586

[cyrus9586]

I decided to go to an event held by a fellow company member today. It was held in the waters of the Goblet. I think I was the only male there. I was treated to a sight of many beauties in bathing suits. I never took notice of the female form before. I just never gave relationships a thought before. I mean I lived on the streets and could barely feed myself for the last few years so how could I ever find a mate? But now with training and working various jobs I have saved up a tidy sum. Perhaps besides I should turn my attention to the fairer sex. Three have caught my eye.But the shy one shines the brightest so far. But maybe I could get to know them all at the same time and see what happens. 

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586

[cyrus9586]

I write this with numb fingers but after days of traveling I can no longer ignore certain events that sear my mind with questions and pain.

 

A few nights ago was the companies weekly bar brawl event. Drink, spar and relax. I didn't drink but I did want to put my training to the test. I am happy to say I unexpectedly went 2-1 and came in second place after fighting three consecutive fights only to lose the last due to fatigue my training armor gives me. But it was the second fight I lost in. It was a grueling fight that came down to a single decisive blow. But alas after both of us being worn down over the course if the long battle I won. But something in me snapped. A rage I have never felt before for a moment stirred in me. No not just rage. Something else. A feeling I have never experienced before. As if I wanted nothing more then to fight more and more. No it wasn't the fight. It was the fightER. The monk was a woman and though I went easy something about her shook my core. No not just her. Earlier I had dealing with another woman. And I also had thoughts of the shy one I mentioned before. It was as if possessed by a demon the thoughts in my head and when it reached a boiling point something stripped away my training armor and replaced it with a dark guise. My lance replaced with a long brutal demonic scythe. But just as soon as it had appeared I regained myself and it was gone. 

 

I had already planned to head to the far NE to the most dangerous lands but that night I left without rest. I prepared my gear, increased the weight of my armor again and left. I feel like I am heading in the right direction. At rest the nightmares grow stronger and at stride I feel the pull on my soul. I head to a place close to the Garlean borderlands. I can already tell I am close. I know it. I feel it. And worst yet I... remember it. 

 

I know I have seen this landscape long ago. Either through dream or memory I know exactly where I tread now. But I have no fear. This is the path to answers. 

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586

[cyrus9586]

I have returned from my travels finally. I learned many things while walking the lands of the North East. Well more from one group of travellers than anywhere else. In the uncharted lands I found many ruins of old keeps and villages. In one small hut that was left I found a curious wind up toy with a main spring that was off kilter. I took it for no reason I could think of other then I felt I should get the ancient toy fixed. It was in good enough condition for its age. A small cat person doll with some faded paint and a few chips. 

 

While leaving those burned out remains I came across a group of about five vagabonds living off the lands and good fortune of others like gypsys. They invited me to join their small group for the night. They all told stories of grand adventures, of treasure just out of reach and of giants they had slayed, as well as women they had bedded. One of them didn't tell any stories though he just stared at the star glyph on the back of my hand. They asked me to tell my tale and I left nothing out. An orphan with markings and seals he knows nothing about. How I found the church I started in and only saw ruins and how I sought my past. 

 

The one who hadn't spoke was their leader as well as their elder by several years and upon hearing my story he decided to give us a history lesson. I recorded as much as I could here.

 

This land was once at war between many Dark Knight clans. You see the Knights gained power through emotion. Most now use love or rage as their catalyst to summon forth the darkness but long ago there were clans for every emotion. Greed, Lust, Rage, Love, sadness, grief or mourning , you get the idea. Well the love clan thought they should unify and use only a few select emotions but the other clans saw they were stronger by using these so called negative emotions and by trying to change what they channeled it disrupted them and they would lose their power. So the end result was a war. Those who followed Lust proved to be stronger than the rest though all were still considered threats. No one knows who came up with the plan to end the war but it was decided to send men and women to the other clans to sire the next line of knights but after the children were born to either steal them away or kill them. The resulting sorrow disrupted the other clans making it impossible for them to focus and they were swiftly dealt with over the coming years. Those children who were hidden had seals placed upon them. Arcana seals to block the arcane magicks they would wield and holy to block out the darkness as well as the emotion that gave them power.*

 

Everything made sense now to me. I was a child of one of the lost clans. Which I couldn't say I only tapped into my dormant power once and by accident and was never able to repeat it. The old man showed me a mark on his chest of the Dark Knight. The top half looked identical to the star glyph on my hand. After a few drinks and talking for many more hours I had them finish the mark on my hand and set off for home but first I stopped by a tinker to fix my little toy friend. 

 

When she was repainted and the spring was fixed she came to life all on her own. A little friend to keep me company and though I was offered a fair sum for this rare wind up mithra, I was told it's called, I decided not to sell her. 

 

*Note The company I am with does not stick 100% to lore of ff14. Since I love the Dark Knight but don't care for the back story I took liberties with it and made them something more akin to how I saw a Dark Knight should be if driven by emotion. Not a being of evil so much as they can use what emotion they have a deep connection to.

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586

[cyrus9586]

The handwriting has changed slightly since the last entry. Neat more elegant then before. One can tell it's the same person writing though.

 

I am forever changed. Released from the seals that I bore all my life. Let me start over. It was another bar sparring event. I arrived early to chat with other members. I was deeply fatigued from my trip having only returned that morning. While conversing about one topic or another someone new decided to introduce himself and upon hearing me announce I am a vagabond he asked why I traveled. I will speed this up and after detailing the recent knowledge I had gained I had a realization that the one emotion I had neglected to try was Lust. I was surrounded by beautiful women watching my every move that fight last event. I was show boating and let my mind wander towards that corner of darkness. That was my catalyst. I tried to focus but the fatigue proved too strong and I had doubts if it was my emotion to follow at all. 

 

During the nights fight I was pitted against a new member. She was cute so I took a chance after taking a couple hits. I wrapped my arms around her waist and slipped behind her for a suplex while also enjoying the feeling of her skin. While landing the second suplex in a row I took a chance and kissed her neck lightly and let my mind go towards that emotion which at first disgusted me but felt so right to embrace. After the fight I used the adrenaline and feelings run through my mind in a loop. I focused as hard as I could on it and I felt something snap inside me. No not snap it exploded. 

 

I never expected the seals to shatter the way they did and release my unrestrained powers all at once. I thank her for not noticing what I was doing during the fight, being my test subject, and helping me to reach the depth of my power. 

 

The world seems new now. Like I have been reborn. I was scared that Lust would consume me but that is so far not the case. I have to train anew now to harness this darkness but so far I am enjoying this feeling. I will detail more as I learn it. 

Edited August 18, 2018 by cyrus9586