Rev up that (bad) fanfiction!

[Satisiun]

Step 1) http://kaction.com/badfanfiction

Step 2) Find one that you feel is either hilariously bad, badly hilarious, or just plain bad.

Step 3) Amuse yourself and your forum-mates, and post the results if you do write up something.

Step 4) At least 3-5 paragraphs!

 

Think of this as a little pre-game release boot camp. The best writers sometimes have to suffer through writing some pretty awful stuff, after all. :lol:

 

And to show that I am not above degrading myself or making a fool of myself, I'll even do one first.

 

(Hopefully this is an acceptable thread ... haha ...)

 

==============================

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Parappa the Rapper and Doom. The story should use martial arts as a plot device!"

 

One by one did the zombies approach. Zombies of Sunny Funny, of Lammy and Rammy, of PJ Bear. Everyone that Parappa knew, or had loved, had been turned in to these mindless, shambling creatures that seemed not to care that they were about to rip their poor, rapping canine friend in to pieces.

 

"I ... I-I gotta ... I gotta b ... b ..." Parappa meagerly managed to whimper out. From across the ruined road, standing in the burnt out shambles of the Pasta Palace, a grotesque-looking demon of both hellish and mechanical appearance simply let out a horrid laugh, watching as the only known survivor met his doom.

 

But before victory could be attained, a sudden fury of green, and an aromatic onion stench wafted over Parappa's nose.

 

"Hyaaaa-cha-cha-cha-cha! CHAAAAA!"

 

From almost out of nowhere, Chop Chop Master Onion, Parappa's martial arts sensei, slammed his strong, sandal-clad foot right to Sunny Funny's head, sending the zombified girlfriend of Parappa careening across the road and towards the feet of the Cyberdemon, who simply scowled.

 

"Come, Parappa!" Chop Chop said, as he reached for and helped the rapper up to his feet. "You must remember! These are your friends no longer. Now, you must fight them, so that you can free them from this Hell!"

 

Parappa came to his senses as his sensi spoke with those firm convictions, and getting back to his feet, took on that same fighting stance his dojo master had taught him so many times.

 

"You're right, sensei! If we're going to get out of here alive ..."

 

He clenched his fists even harder, a grin appearing on his face.

 

"... then I gotta believe!"

[Kashemia]

This is AWESOME! It's a bit late for me to start tonight, but I'll try writing something tomorrow. I was just flipping through, and there are some really crazy ideas in there

[Asyria]

So... first thing I got I knew what it was was Quake and Chobits in the Future. o_O

then I got Rock Band and Batman in a Haunted House. o_O

 

But then... then I got something so awesomely ridiculous, I knew it was the right challenge for me!

 

I give you... "Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Dexter and The Powerpuff Girls. The story should use murder as a plot device!"

 

***

 

The man woke up with the feel of plastic wrap on his naked flesh. He didn't know what the hell was going on. It was dark, except from a lamp above him. Looking around, he saw the pictures of women he knew... his victims.

As he started squirming, sweating in fear, Dexter smiled faintly, slowly standing up and moving toward him.

 

"You know what's going to happen now, don't you?", he asked in this soft, emotionless voice of his. He wasn't emotionless however. Not now. He could already feel the deep satisfaction of what he was about to do. Of what he should have been about to do, anyway.

 

At this moment, as the man begged for mercy, as Dexter was about to tell him he never granted mercy to any of "them", the door of this abandoned warehouse burst open with a mighty kick from a flying little girl dressed in green!

 

"Leave him alone, murderer!"

 

Dexter simply stared with his mouth opened. He was caught, he was finished... but what was going on? Not one, but three little girls, not even teenagers, just entered the room, dressed in red, blue and green, and they were -flying-.

 

"Uhm... wait, I think the murderer is the one who's all wrapped up!" said the red one.

"Is he naked? Ewww!", said the blue one.

"Focus, Bubbles!, said the green one, looking quite mad.

 

"Wait! No! He is the one who murdered those innocent women, I'm doing a public service here!", said Dexter, still trying to figure out what this was all about.

 

"Oh okay, then, carry on!"

"Yes, thanks for getting this one for us!"

"Bye byes!"

 

And just like that, the three flying girls left. Dexter remained standing there staring blankly at the door for at least 10 minutes before his victim finally managed to get his attention, begging for him to let him go. Dexter however, regained his focus and with it, his desire. He had an urge to sate, and a civic duty to perform. And so he did.

 

It sure was the weirdest day in his entire life, and he could only hope that this would stay a secret, but somehow he felt he could trust them. Because the Powerpuff Girls are just nice like that.

 

***

[Noelle]

Haha!

 

oh wow, these are amazing!

Seriously stunned by both of yours, i don't stand a chance!

 

I don't have much written experience, but i'll give it a go!

Rolling!

*10 minutes later*

Y'know, I'm pretty shocked, there's a bunch of stuff in this thing and i have no idea what half of them are. I keep getting X i know with Y i don't.

*Keep goin'~!*

Aha!

Got one!

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Elite Beat Agents and Final Fantasy 6. The story should use Tentacle Rape as a plot device!"

 

Just incase anyone is sensitive to themed material, i'll hide it in a Spoiler thingy~!

=========================

 

 

The raft tossed and turned over the chaotic river waters with the party desperately gripping on for their lives. Without warning, a massive hideous beast rose up from the depths of Lethe river; A purple, tentacled abomination with a vicious looking maw of razor-sharp teeth, it began wrapping is strong thick tentacles around the raft and stopping it dead in its tracks.

 

The brave adventurers fought with all their might against the foe, using every technique they had available to prevail; But things did not go well for them, the first to fall was Banon, and without his support the party were quickly overwhelmed, an unending barrage of tentacles beat the royal brothers within an inch of their lives. The last one standing, Terra, realised how helpless a situation she was in. The beast simply grinned.

 

A long, muscular tentacle slid along the deck of the raft, shoving the unconscious bodies of her fallen allies aside; She backed up, but the raft was small and there was no way she could risk jumping into the racing river currents. The tentacle curled its way around her ankle, she was paralyzed, too afraid to even scream, but the Beast wasnât harming her. âWhatâs it doing?â her mind begged the question, but she remained frozen, balanced on the edge of the raft.

The beast slid with an otherworldly grace, onto the raft, bringing more of its tentacles to entwine the young girl. It held her limbs in place, rendering her immobile and completely helpless and began to caress her body using its incredibly strong limbs. It whispered to her in a sickening tone, one filled with delight, revelling in its twisted sadistic pleasure as she was unable to fight back,

âUwee hee hee! Such a delicious morsel!â

The suction cups pulled and teased her body, she could feel her mind heating up from the sensation. She couldnât take it, she gasped for breath, and in a desperate plea called out; âE- Edgar, Sabin! ... HELP!â

 

 

/sigh

 

I got pretty distracted at the end.

[Tadir]

o_O

 

...Ultros...don't even know what to say...

 

This is the one I just got. I don't have time to write it now, but I think it will be all too easy...I mean...really?

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining The Bible and David Blaine. The story should use aliens as a plot device!

 

Really?

[Satisiun]

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Dexter and The Powerpuff Girls. The story should use murder as a plot device!"

 

Mon reaction:

 

 

 

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Elite Beat Agents and Final Fantasy 6. The story should use Tentacle Rape as a plot device!"

 

Mon reaction:

 

 

... but I still loved it. :lol:

 

 

I swear, I've gotten so many awfully awful ones that I literally can't stop laughing for three minutes to decide which one I should torment myself (or readers) with! But the tops so far?

 

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining WALL-E and Rocky Horror Picture Show. The story should use losing one's virginity as a plot device!"

 

... and ...

 

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Final Fantasy 4 and Final Fantasy 8. The story should use competing in a Rock Band tournament as a plot device!"

 

So, so leaning towards the second one.

[UnbeknownstGhost]

Actually, I think this one tops you Wall-E one

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Metal Gear Solid and WALL-E. The story should use creepy interent fetishes as a plot device!

[Tadir]

As long as Zell is singing...

[UnbeknownstGhost]

Now this is just ridiculously awesome. I just have to write this: Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Batman and Big O. The story should use unclogging a toilet as a plot device!

 

 

I will when I wake up and am out of class. Probably my really long lunch.

[Satisiun]

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Metal Gear Solid and WALL-E. The story should use creepy interent fetishes as a plot device!

 

"H-hey ... WALL-E ..." Otacon nervously said as he turned towards his treaded, robotic companion.

 

"Wuuh?" WALL-E replied in response, his eye flaps lifting with piqued curiosity, wondering what the Metal Gear engineer was going to say as they slowly made their way away from the building where Metal Gear REX now lay as a smoldering wreck.

 

"D-do you ... think ... uh ..." Otacon was stammering as he wringed his hands about in his lab jacket's pockets, still wearing the same thing since their escape from the facility. He took a deep breath, and finally turned towards WALL-E, kneeling down to meet him, eyes to oculars, his hands resting on the robot's shoulders.

 

"Do you think ... love can bloom on the battlefield ... WALL-E?"

 

WALL-E started shaking within moments, murmuring intelligable robotic sounds and shudders as Otacon's left hand began to deftly slide towards ...

 

==========

 

 

... ... SHAHDJKAHSDGAFSYQ@F OKAY I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! I'm done until I write one of the two I got! :lol:

 

And because it's both MGS and WALL-E-related ...

 

 

 

[Diyne]

[Your challenge is to write crossover fan fiction combining World War II and Silent Hill. The story should use a plague as a plot device!] â¦(What the crap? This has some potentialâ¦)

 

 

The air was thick with the smell of expired gunpowder and blood. Larry was stuck, lying down on his stomach behind a desk in the front lobby of a half demolished, bombed hotel. All around him, he could hear the agonizing sounds of soldiers dying, and the occasional gunshot. Many of the less pained shouts were in German.

 

Larry was trapped, and he knew sooner or later, he was going to be found. With how brutal this band of Germans was, he knew it would be the end. Larryâs squad didnât even know where they had come from. They had just finished clearing the area when they were attacked. These Germanâs were anything but normal. Their faces were smeared in dark, brown paint. He was sure it was blood. They screamed sadistically as they attacked, not with their guns, but with knives. They took far too many shots before they went down. It was as if they were pumped with adrenaline and speed, and sent at the Americans like crazed, rabid dogs.

 

The front wall of the hotel had fallen in, leaving only the structural beams holding some of the place up. From his hiding spot, Larry could see from a very small crack between the beat up desk, and a large chunk of rebar and concrete. He could make out one of his comrades a few dozen yards ahead of him, but couldnât well make out which of his partners it was. A haunting, thick fog had set in over the general vicinity, making it impossible to make out friend or foe within twenty feet of oneself. He could hear him groaning pathetically. It almost made Larry want to shoot the man himself, but he knew that would give away his position.

 

A few moments passed, and Larry could hear the German voices picking up in volume. They sounded excited and gruff. Soon two misty forms came into vision, coming closer to Larryâs fallen buddy. He watched as one of them squatted beside him, muttering quietly. The other went about rolling him over onto his back. Once they had him rolled over, the first one lifted his arms into the air, calling out in German.

 

âZu unserem Gott, bieten wir Ihnen das Leben unseres Feindes an! Wir wachsen stark mit seinem Tod. Dein Kommen wird bald!â

 

With that, the second plunged his massive knife into Larryâs comradeâs chest. There was a short jerk from the man, and a shrill scream. Both of the Germanâs laughed and hollered terribly and psychotically as they cut the Americanâs heart from his chest, holding it high above their heads as a prize.

 

And thenâ¦Larry could only guess they were eating it. Eating his partnerâs heart. They tore at it viciously, laughing the whole while...

 

Larry couldnât take it. He flipped. Terrified, disgusted, and mentally disturbed, he jumped from his hiding place, taking his Garand to the backs of the two germanâs heads. He couldnât well make it out, but the first manâs head seemed to jolt oddly as he was shot through the back of the neck. No way he would be getting back up from a shot like that. As the first crumpled over on top of the americanâs body, the second man let out a shrill scream, holding his knife high. Larry screamed back in response, his rifle helping him project his voice with the blasting sound of gunfire.

 

As the second German fell to his knees, he cried out in German, and then crumpled onto his stomach, still.

Larry had no time to contemplate what had just happened. The sound of more voices came to his ears. He sprang over the desk, his body pumped with adrenaline. He was terrified. He ran. He had to get out of the zone. He had to get away from these psychoâs.

 

As Larry ran, the fog felt thicker and thicker, as if it were clouding his way of escape from him. The howling voices of the german psychopaths did not falter. They stayed the same distance, but Larry could never see exactly where they were. The fog was so thick now, that Larry could almost feel it grabbing at his hands and face as he ran, trying to slow him down.

 

And then, things got worse. The air raid sirens started blaring. Larryâs mind could not even register everything going on around him. He knew he had to find a place to hide. He prayed that the Germans could not see him through this fog. Barely ahead of him, Larry could make out the shape of a building. It was mid day, and everything seemed to be getting darker suddenly. How had so much time passed already? What was going on? With the sirenâs howling, the germans screaming, and seemingly nightfall approaching, Larry made for the building, too scared to think of anything else. If it was only a few of the crazy germans, Larry could pick them off inside of the buildingâ¦

 

As Larry rushed into the building, he felt his feet lose traction on a slick, wet floor. He felt his body give way underneath him, and his head jolted against the floor. For a moment, his world was blurred. The sirens continued to sound, but the germanâs voices had faded away. Perhaps they feared for what was coming?

As Larry regained himself, he tried to pull himself to his feet. His gloves slid on the tacky floor. Pulling his hand up, he looked down. The entire floor was made of steel plate, rusted with wear and age. Larryâs hair raised on end as he saw what was on the floor that had made him slip. Fresh, tacky blood. Larry panicked, sliding back away from the bloody pool in front of where the door had been. Oh god, the door. The door was gone. Had he run further than he thought? Larry realized he was now in the middle of a hallway. But he had just barely made it into the buildings front entrance.

 

Finally, Larry managed to get to his feet. He could still hear the sirens, loud as ever. Oddly enough, he had yet to hear any planes flying overhead. He wanted to find a room to hide himself in. Larry wasnât a coward, but he had definitely seen enough today to leave the poor man in a sorry, dreaded state. He was only twenty, and no amount of experience, or boot camp could have prepared him for the terror heâd seen today.

Nor would any of it prepare him for what he would seeâ¦

 

Nervously, Larry got out his mag-light, holding it under his garand as he stepped down the hall. The light showed walls that were made of a hodge-podge of material, mostly disgusting, dirty sheets nailed to plywood, and metal mesh grating. Heavy looking metal doors went down the hall every twenty yards or so. The closest door had a small plate next to the door, with the room number â205â etched into it. The door was coated in a heavy coat of rust, and what looked like splotches of blood⦠What was this horrible place?

 

Larry tried the door closest to him. The door handle was so rusted over, that he could never have hoped to budge it. Continuing down the hall, he was met to much the same situation; doors rusted shut, or simply unable to be opened. The entire hall smelled musty and stagnant, mixed with a smell of rust, and a little bit of rot.

 

There was a sudden, loud scraping sound coming from down the hall, from around the corner. Larry listened for a moment, until he heard a voice. A muttered, guttural, yet feminine voice that spoke English, with a mild russian accent.

 

âRing aroundâ¦the roseyâ¦Pocket full of posies⦠Asssshesâ¦Asssshes⦠They allâ¦fallâ¦DOWN.â With the last word, the scraping turned into a deafening crash, and a piercing, squealing shriek filled the hallway. Above the shrieking, the voice boomed, echoing down the hall. âHusssh, my baby. Husssh. Everything will be over. Be ssstill now. Ssstillâ¦â The shrieking was muffled then into covered whimpers and moans. There was a sharp, sickening cracking sound, and the whimpering stopped. âGive to me your lifeâ¦and to you, I give forever peace~â

 

Larry was terrified, and frozen in that terror. He could only imagine what terrible happenings were taking place around the corner. After a moment of silence, he could hear gross, squishing sounds, and a grinding, crunching soundâ¦They made his stomach wrench.

 

And then, her voice came again. âJussstâ¦stay right thereâ¦I promissseâ¦you wonât wait longâ¦We will be together sssoonâ¦â And then, she was giggling. A crazed, hysterical giggle. And Larry realized that his flashlight was still shined in the general direction of the turn in the hall...

 

He knew she was speaking to him. He just knew it. He reeled around, stumbling in sheer panic as he ran in the opposite direction. He tried every door he came to in the hall. Behind him, he could hear the womanâs bizarre giggling, mixed with the sound of tearing, scraping metal.

 

Larryâs body sagged against the steel door as it slammed shut behind him. He only waited a moment before trying to bar the door with whatever he could find in the room. As luck would have it, he had found what had one likely been a lounge room. He shoved a couch and table against the door, hoping that it would keep it closed.

Then he just sank to the floor and sat there. He just sat there, covering his face with his hands, crying. What was he going to do? How had he gotten here? What in Godâs name was going on? This wasnât supposed to happen. None of it made any sense.

 

Larry slowly regained his composure as best as he could. He got to his feet, looking around the room for anything that might help him. There were some supplies on a long counter in the back of the room. There was a first aid kit, a few dry rations, an ammo box, and a tool box with a crowbar on top of it. As well, there was a large radio pack lying on the counter, that had obviously belonged to another American, what with the tags and sewn on patches. Larry decided to check it. He started trying to find a frequency that might have someone to help him on it.

 

âThis is PFC Larry Harkins with the 5th. Can anybody hear me? Repeat, this is PFC Larry Harkinâs. Anyone?â

Just as he had asked, the radio responded with a bizarre, shrill static. For a moment, he could hear the recent, familiar voice of that mildly Russian accented woman. Her voice was much more delicate and childish over the radio, though it was hard to tell either way through the mild static.

 

âRing aroundâ¦the rosey. Pocket full ofâ¦posies~â She didnât finish the rhymn. Instead, she stopped, giggling in the radio. âMister? Come out come out~ We needâ¦to play more. Pleassseâ¦â It was as if her voice began to distort over the radio, back into that guttural, hissing voice. âPleassseâ¦play with me~â

 

Outside, Larry could hear what sounded like bare feet stepping along the metal floor outside. The problem was that it was much too loud from inside the room. Larry practically held his breath as the footfalls stopped for a moment, and the radio buzzed menacingly with a strange, groaning static.

 

âYou want to play hide and ssseekâ¦?â She giggled through the radio. âOkay~ weâll be together sssoonâ¦So soon misterâ¦Jussstâ¦waitâ¦Theyâre waiting for us.â The footfalls continued to pad down the hall, more quickly now. As they disappeared, so did the static in the radio set.

 

Larry kick started his breath, as though he had been forgetting to inhale. His stomach churned nauseatingly as he doubled over, nearly vomiting all over the already filthy floor. He had to calm down. He had to get out of this. He had to get out of this building.

 

Larry returned to the counter top after his nerve wracking panic attack, looking through the supplies heâd found. The toolbox had a few general tools: a roll of duct-tape, a hammer, wire-cutters, a few nails, a monkey wrench, a file, and two screw drivers. Phillips and flat-bladed. The first aid kit had pain killers, tourniquet, bandages, and antibiotic ointment. Somehow, they were all in almost immaculate condition, despite everything else in the room being covered in grime and rust.

 

Hastily, Larry loaded the first aid kit and rations into his nearly empty pack. His squad hadnât been meant to stay out here long, so he had plenty of room. He pulled the tape out of tool box, taping his flashlight to the front of his M1. Once finished, the toolbox went into his pack as well. He dug through the case of ammo; all .30-06 rounds. He loaded as many as he could into blank en bloc clips. The rest of the box went into his pack with everything else.

 

But what about the radio pack? He wondered if it would be of any use to him. All it seemed to do was play that creepy static. Now though, there was only a very mild static coming from it⦠But what if he found his way out? He would want to be able to call for help if he could get outside. Maybe it was just this crazy building, killing the radio waves.

 

It was time to find a way out of this hell-hole, and Larry wasnât going to take any chances. He felt like there was going to be little luck out of this building, but he desperate. He wanted to live.

 

 

(Endâ¦not even going to proof it.)

[Diyne]

One more.

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Inuyasha and Shin Chan. The story should use bondage as a plot device!

 

 

âDude, if youâre a dog demon, then why donât you have a tail?â Shin muttered, following the half-bred demon dog along through the forest. How he had gotten here, was anyoneâs guess.

 

âGrrr, shut up kid, Iâm busy!â Inuyasha snapped at the young boy, sniffing at the air. âI can sense a demonic aura nearby.â

 

âDude, is that all you can think about? Demonic auraâs?â Shin gave the white haired devil a sly, witty grin. âIs that some kind of fetish of yours?â

 

âKid, I said be quiââ Inuyasha was cut off as a giant snake demon came out from the trees nearby, hissing loudly at the two before diving down at them. âMove it kid!â

 

Shin scurried to the side as Inuyasha made quick work of the demon. Shin wiped his nose on his shirt sleeve, then wiped that on his pants. âThat was kind of cool.â

 

âNo, I can still feel the demonic aura somewhere nearbyâ¦That wasnât all of it.â

 

âOh. So like, thereâs more of them?â

 

Just then, Two small, spiritual shikigami sped toward Inuyasha, wrapping themselves around his arms and legs. Inuyasha let out a disgruntled roar of anger, suddenly crippled to the ground by the little spirits.

 

âYou fell for that so easily, half-demon.â Came the familiar voice of Kikyo. Iâve been looking for you for days now. Youâre not an easy cur to track.

 

âGah, Kikyo!â Inuyasha growled in feigned contempt. âI should have known. That demonic auraâ¦â

 

âA trick. And one that pulled you here quite easily.â

 

As the two talked back and forth about demonic auras and faked hating one another, Shin just watched. He couldnât help it. It looked like this woman was going to kill the pretty dog-man. Itâd probably be awesome.

 

âBut what to do with you, I wonder?â Kikyo asked, motioning with one hand. Her shikigami slithered across Inuyashaâs body, eventually putting him into a bound position. He was stuck laid on his side, arms behind his back with his feet, like a hog.

 

âYouâre lucky I donât kill you right here. But no, I want to make this last, half-demon.â Kikyo stated.

 

Shinâs already huge eyes turned into plates as he watched the two.

âWaitâ¦are you two gonnaâ¦Are you gonna do it?â

 

ââ¦What?â

 

Both Inuyasha and Kikyo watched the child with disbelieving, annoyed looks on their faces.

 

ââ¦Well, come on. Get to it man. You already got him all bound up.â He glanced over at Inuyasha. "Dude, I wouldn't have taken you as a sub."

 

 

Watched Inu Yasha and Bleach back to back the other night...There is a seriously bad obsession with the words 'Spiritual Pressure' and 'Demonic Aura' in these anime's... ridiculous.

[Tyriont]

This one was just too easy and appropriate not to use.

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Shaun of the Dead and Superbad. The story should use a zombie attack as a plot device!

 

 

Shaun ducked into the mall's handily placed hardware supply store, braining the shuffling creature dressed in the store's uniform with his baseball bat. Its head caved, sending it falling to the floor. Checking behind him to ensure none of them had followed, he started searching the shelved for supplies while cursing his bad luck. He would have been perfectly happy to spend their anniversary at home â out for dinner, then off to The Winchester for a few pints before heading home. But no, Liz had wanted to do something special...âLet's go visit America!â she'd said. âIt'll be fun!â she'd said. It was just his luck that another zombie outbreak had hit while they were there. There wasn't even any good beer around.

 

He vaulted over the counter of a department that the tacky sign covered in target markers listed as âGuns n' Ammoâ. Grudgingly, Shaun had to admit that at least the ready availability of firearms helped fight off the hordes. He attempted to kick through the display case, only to receive a bruised foot for his efforts. Yelling a curse he took up his baseball bat and drove it through the reinforced glass, retrieving from inside a 12-gauge shotgun and several boxes of ammunition. A noise from behind him made him spin around. The sight that greeted him made him swallow and utter a meek â...ohâ.

 

The noise of shattering the display case had attracted not only a group of zombified retail workers from a side room (Shaun noted that if it weren't for the changes in their skin tones, he wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between them and most other American mall-goers) in addition to a group of around ten that had been passing outside. There was only one exit and at least fifteen zombies between it and Shaun. He was, in a word, fucked.

 

As he gripped the shotgun and prepared to try and fight his way out, the sound of rapid-fire gunshots rang out. Shaun dropped down and hid behind the countertop, whimpering as holes were ripped into the walls behind where he had been standing just a few moments ago. Eventually the noise subsided and he heard a human voice call out. Standing up, Shaun surveyed the bullet holes in the wall â one was right where his head would have been. Spinning around angrily, he started to verbally assault the newcomer. Not the smartest move given that he was heavily armed, but he was furious at how close he'd come to being killed by another survivor.

 

âWhat the hell do you think you're doing? You almost took my bloody head off, you...wait, who the hell are you?â

 

The sight that met Shaun's gaze was one of the strangest things he'd seen yet â and in the middle of a zombie apocalypse in an American mall, that was quite the achievement. The newcomer was short and awkward looking, no more than a teenager. He had dressed himself in a long, black leather coat with a bandana tied around short cropped black hair. The look was totally at odds with his thick glasses, brown slacks and button-down shirt. The kid gave the obvious impression that he'd taken the coat and bandana because he'd seen far too many action movies and thought that's how he should be dressed. He was loosely holding an Uzi in his hands and given the way he was handling the weapon it was immediately obvious that he'd not so much aimed at Shaun as he'd been unable to control the recoil from it. Hell, the kid looked like he'd lose a fight with a wet noodle, let alone a zombie. He met Shaun's gaze and grinned, giving an awkward laugh.

 

âI'm the one who saved you! I'm the best zombie hunter around! I'm McLovin, bitch!â

 

Shaun decided he'd been better off with the zombies.

 

[Renaise]

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Kirby and Final Fantasy X-2. The story should use losing one's virginity as a plot device!

 

I'm not even going to try that... nothing good will come of it >.>

 

Ahh Paine.... :love:

[Asyria]

lol Mac Lovin ^^

and Ultros!

 

Okay.. okay.. I got another.

 

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Homestar Runner and Bioshock. The story should use as a plot device!"

 

No plot device.

 

***

 

A sunken city. A group of adventurer. A little girl and her big robot. Two universes that have absolutely nothing to do with each other collide, all because Homestar decided to bring his friends on a cruise, drove the ship right into an island, and they all were stupid enough to take the elevator down.

 

Actually, it was because The Cheat did it and then they all had to go after him. When they reached the bottom, they all faced a strange scenery of old-style broken decors and dead people. As The Cheat toyed around with all kinds of things, Homestar thought it was "awesum" and decided to go exploring. Marzipan of course went after him to hopefully keep him out of trouble, while Stronbad thought he mind find some surviving hot girls down there.

 

Unfortunately for him, the only girl to be found was underage and accompanied by some kinda robot. Mistaking Strongmad for a madman, he moved toward him agressively and, of course, Strongmad got mad and punched it repeatedly. The battle that ensued was epic.

 

In the meantime, Strongbad tried to approach the weird little girl, getting mixed success. Meaning he got his attentions but she seemed to want to poke him with a syringe instead of kissing him like he would have wanted. Amazed by the epic battle going on homestar was running around in circles cheering both combatants on. "Go Strongmad! Go big robot thingy! Go Homestar! Wait, no, I'm not fighting..."

 

With a deep sigh Marzipan watched and finally turned to The Cheat. "Come on, The Cheat, let's go back home. This place is ugly and gloomy and I bet they don't even have tofu."

 

***

 

>.>

 

<.<

[Iroh]

I wasn't going to originally do this, but then I happened to be put forth with a challenge that felt... well... epic.

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Blue's Clues and The Bible. The story should use oral sex as a plot device!

 

Warning, the following may offend, so I'm putting it in a spoiler just in case >.>

 

 

First Blueinthians 69:

 

'And behold, a youth in a green striped shirt stood up to put her to the test, saying, "Blue, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" She barked to him. And he answered, saying, "What is written in the law? How do I read?" Blue barked again, and he answered, "You shall love the Lord your Blue with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself?" And Blue again barked unto him, after which he replied, "You art correct, teacher; We are going to partake in Blue's Clues, as thou art a really fun game!."

 

'So he, desiring to clarify himself, said to Blue, "And who is my neighbor?" Blue replied, by barking. Much barking was shown. The green shirted youth then said, " Ah, so a man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a secretary was going down that road; and when she saw him she passed by on the other side. So likewise a Doctor, when she came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as she journeyed, came to where he was; and when she saw him, she had compassion, and went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; then she gave him a blow job. She then set him on his own beast and brought him to an inn, and took care of him with further oral ministrations. And the next day she took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, âTake care of him; and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back with the oral pleasure.â

 

'Which of these three, do you think, proved neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers, you ask us?" The man finished in his translation of Blue.'

 

'To the unseen children gathered he then said unto them,"I believe I may need your help, will thou help me?" To which the children cried they would. The youth then cried, "Hosanna! Blue's Clue, Blue's Clues, pull forth thy notebook and find the paw prints, for when we use our minds and think, think, think in the holy thinking chair, we can do anything that we wish to do."'

 

'Following this there was much silly dancing. After many clues had been determined, the youth in the green striped shirt finally said unto Blue, "I believe we have just figured out Blue's Clues, as we art really smart! Teacher, was the neighbor," Here he did pause, dramatically, "the one who gave him a blow job?"'

 

'Blue then barked unto them all, and it was good.'

 

'And thus the youth said, "The one who blew his holy flute is correct!"'

 

'And Blue spoke unto them at last to say, "Go and do likewise."''

 

'And it was very good.'

 

[Diyne]

This one was just too easy and appropriate not to use.

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Shaun of the Dead and Superbad. The story should use a zombie attack as a plot device!

 

So...much...potential...

 

Which reminds me that Scott Pilgrim was amazing. (Just like, my opinion, man.)

I wasn't going to originally do this, but then I happened to be put forth with a challenge that felt... well... epic.

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Blue's Clues and The Bible. The story should use oral sex as a plot device!

 

Old or new testament? =p

[Diyne]

This one was just too easy and appropriate not to use.

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Shaun of the Dead and Superbad. The story should use a zombie attack as a plot device!

 

So...much...potential...

 

Which reminds me that Scott Pilgrim was amazing. (Just like, my opinion, man.)

 

I wasn't going to originally do this, but then I happened to be put forth with a challenge that felt... well... epic.

 

 

Old or new testament? =p

[Diyne]

This one was just too easy and appropriate not to use.

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Shaun of the Dead and Superbad. The story should use a zombie attack as a plot device!

 

So...much...potential...

 

Which reminds me that Scott Pilgrim was amazing. (Just like, my opinion, man.)

 

I wasn't going to originally do this, but then I happened to be put forth with a challenge that felt... well... epic.

 

 

Old or new testament? =p

[Asyria]

Triple post!

[Iroh]

 

Old or new testament? =p

 

I went with new, it was more fitting!

[Diyne]

Oh jeez, I'm so sorry. 0_o; My internet was freaking out at the time I posted.

[Asyria]

Okay okay... last one!

I hope.

I just went there anc clicked Refresh a few times for fun and giggles and I simply couldn't resist doing this one.

 

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Hellsing and the Muppet Show. The story should use hypnosis as a plot device!

 

It was a dark night and the moon was full, shining through the mist in the streets and alleys of London. A perfect night for Halloween, but also a perfect night for hunting.The Hellsing organization's pet vampire Alucard was out to get a freak who was preying on children . As the freak has targeted mostly goths, it is a concern that he would go after kids dressed as vampire and this could not be allowed.

 

Unaware of the dangers, a group of friends stopped in a parc to decide whether to go back home or continue their run, as it was getting late. Among them was a frog disguised as a pirate, a rather energetic guy disguised as a ghost with a blanket with holes for his eye, and a blue eagle dressed as count Dracula, who seemed more intent on going back home, and a few other weirdos.

"The hour grows late, it would be wise to head back." said the blue guy.

To which the frog replied "Let's see how much candies we have so far?"

"CANDIES!" bellowed the ghost happily.

 

As the friends were making their count, a shiver ran down their spines as a strange man showed up, grinning madly in the night. His gaze was met by the brave blue eagle, the one dressed as Dracula as he defiantly put himself between his friends and the newcomer who looked rather... dangerous.

"May we help you in any way?"

 

The man simply gazed into his eyes and soon, the eagle was just staring blankly at him, until the man finally talked. "You want to be a vampire, you poser? Then go ahead and bite your friends, empty them of their blood and sate yourself." The frog looked pretty worried hearing that, unsurprisingly. "Uhm.. Sam? Sam, are you alright?" The eagle named Sam slowly turned toward the frog and raised his hands. "Bloooood!"

 

"AAAHHHHH! He's become a vampire!" The frog started running around in circle, followed by his friends, some of whom were really scared while others simply seemed to follow because it seemed like the thing to do. The hypnotised Sam of course went after them, and all were running around in circle.

 

At this point, another weird man walked calmly toward them dressed in red, his eyes hidden between round goggles. "You dare speak of insults and call yourself a vampire... You are nothing but a delusional freak who prey on the weak. Come find out what a true vampire is made of so I can send your impure soul into the deepest pits of hell."

 

It was all over very quick. The 'freak' attacked, and the vampire punched his open hand right through the guy's chest, turning him to dust in an instant. "Bah, no need to waste bullets on you... That you could even hypnotize anyone is a real joke, that guy must be a real puppet. It should wear off soon anyway..." And without further word or action, the vampire Alucard disappeared into the night, his job done.

 

Higher up,a pair of old geezers had watched the scene from their apartment balcony.

"Well I don't know the difference between a real and a false vampire but I know how vampires and this story are alike!"

"They both suck!"

And the two geezers laughed together.

 

FIN