Quotes

[UnbeknownstGhost]

This here thread is for those quotes that you just happen to like, love, hate, or just thought was freakin' funny. Ect. You know fun stuff like that.

 

 

Here are a few I like:

 

"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.â -Samuel Johnson

 

"The victor will never be asked if he told the truth." -Adolf Hitler

 

"Dude, he just stuck an M60 into an apple and tried to use it as a grenade." A friend.

"Was there an explosion of flavor?" -My response.

 

"You surrender after you're dead." Robert Jordan.

 

"Everything looks good from here... (beat...playing with plastic dinosaurs over his console) Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive."

(as Stegosaurus) "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."

(as T-Rex) "I think we should call it...your grave!"

(Stegosaurus) "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

(T-Rex) "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!" -Wash (from Firefly)

 

"Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command." -Jayne (Also Firefly)

[Renaise]

Ok, as I have so many, will start with Spaced, one of my all time favourite shows

 

 

Daisy: Right, I'm going to the shops. D'you want anything?

Tim: Porn.

Daisy: Tim, I'm not going to buy you porn. You can get it from railway sidings like everybody else.

Tim: I can't, I'm an adult. I'm supposed to leave it there.

 

 

 

Vulva: [noticing Brian at the after-show party] Oh Brian, you came!

Brian: No, I just spilt my drink.

 

 

Brian: Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?

Tim: I think you should burn it. Because if you lose it, you might find it again.

 

 

 

Brian: Can I borrow a tea-bag?

Tim: [sarcastically] Only if you bring it back. [pauses] You can HAVE a tea-bag, Brian, you can't borrow one.

Brian: What are you playing?

Tim: Tomb Raider 3.

Brian: She's drowning.

Tim: Yeah.

Brian: Is that the point of the game?

Tim: Depends what mood you're in really.

Brian: What sort of mood are you in then?

Tim: Well, I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend this morning, 3 months too late, explaining why she dumped me. It was full of 'you'll always be special' and 'I'll always love you' platitudes designed to make me feel better whilst simultaneously appeasing her deep seated sense of guilt for dumping me, running off with a slimy little city boy called Duane and destroying my faith in everything which is good and pure.

Brian: So it didn't really work then.

Tim: No, it made me wanna drown things! [turns around, sees Brian dressed as a painting] You've got paint on you.

Brian: It's a literal tribute to the self reflexivity of Rembrandt.

Tim: Did he like it?

Brian: He's dead.

Tim: Bloody hell, that really backfired.

 

 

Duane: You Know what they say about love and war.

Tim: Yeah, one of them involves a large amount of physical and psychological pain and the other's war.

 

 

 

[About ending his relationship with Sarah]

Tim: I just had a moment of clarity, you know, I woke up. It's like... you know when you have an orgasm on your own? [Daisy looks increasingly disgusted and uncertain during the following:] You know, you're sort of lying on the sofa watching some porn movie you bought on a drunken lonely night in Soho, and you're lying there and everything's going really great, you're getting totally turned on by these absurdly graphic images, everything seems so right, and suddenly - phht! Bingo! You wake up. And you're lying there sweating, desperately looking for the tissue which you know is still in your pocket, and the remote control which is somewhere on the floor, and it's like walking in on yourself, you know? It's just like "What you doing?" That's how I felt tonight feeling my heart miss a beat everytime the door opened. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Daisy: Well, that's... love, isn't it? Load of old wank.

 

[Tagyr]

Humor is like a rubber sword, its funny to look at but it can be used just as well to poke you in odd places. - Unknown.