Vice Life [Closed]

[Velveteen]

Excerpts from an Elezen retainer of Ul'dah - #3065

 

Was purchased today by a fool; for what purpose, I do not know. I had a name, a Wildwood name, once. Now I am âIzraeleâ. The fool chose it on whimsy. I asked why there was an âeâ at the end of the name: âIt looks cool!â was his response.

 

The fool's name is Velvet Delune, of the 8th Sun the 6th Umbral Moon. He is self-proclaimed royalty with no claim to any throne. His assertions of his background can be dismissed as delusions of grandeur (or insanity).

 

I have been assigned to manage his inventory; how a Lalafell, though one proficient in Disciplines of War and the Land, has the ability to carry so much, along with the rest of his equipment baffles me. It is a task well beneath my abilities; being a âmuleâ, they call it. Stereotypical labor for a Roegadyn or perhaps his own wretched race. But does he seek to make use of my intellect? No, the only piece of advice I am asked upon is to name of his corporate venture (if it can be called that): âViera Velour Incorporatedâ. That was not even my suggestion; he seemed to have decided upon the name from the beginning and I was not given the opportunity to provide one. âVieraâ apparently comes from some literary work (likely populist trash); âVelourâ was to suggest ârefinementâ. I assume the stealth reference to himself was an unwitting egotistic gesture.

 

To further emphasize his stupidity, I queried upon the purpose behind this creation of an organization and was told, in these exact words: âFor friendship, for frolicking, and...for FISHâ (The capitalization was to capture his form of speech). One could be forgiving for believing these to be euphemisms...but they are not. They are literal. The first two are somewhat understandable (though unprofitable); the third is baffling. True, Ul'dah lacks many nearby fishing locations, making a monopoly on local fishing lucrative; however, the organization consists solely of himself, making a monopoly impossible. Given his current resources and abilities, he does not even have enough stock to make a dent in the market. His primary trade is pugilism; it would make more sense that he hire himself out as a mercenary or perform in underground bare-knuckle boxing matches (Imagining Delune being pummeled to death appears to be a viable pastime). Instead, there is his obsession with fishing. I must say, it is rather amusing to see him partake in the sport; twenty bait lost, one fish caught. A brass loach, which delighted him to no end. Pathetic, really.

 

Unfortunately, as of this point, I happen to be a part of this organization and so must play the role of secretariat of VV Inc. if I am to acquire power. Disguising these structural flaws into positives will provide new membership and a chance to seize a foothold in Ul'dah (or if not Ul'dah, then the outlying regions. The camps require various âservicesâ that only live bodies can provide, after all). Recruitment must be swift if VV Inc. is to avoid being overshadowed by proper companies.

 

Still, I see no way of solving the problem that is Delune. No matter how much management I provide, the fool would ruin it all with a single gesture. I have no way of shaping VV Inc.'s image if he is to remain the face; must find replacement leadership as soon as possible.

 

~C

 

PS: Perhaps Delune should be killed. Will investigate the option.