The Books of Xavarian

[Dasair]

[These notes seem to be written down with some notably degree of haste, despite staying relatively neat.]

 

Gem Visions

 

Mine

• “There was fire. Roaring, a dreadful, terrible sound that reached one’s core and shook it. Everything was so godsdamned hot that it melted armor to skin, and... It was a battlefield of men shouting, death all around. Fear, exhaustion, blood- until there was nothing.”

Sylas'

• “I felt things--crystals? Bein’ pushed into my body. Couldn’t move. Lots of, uh. Lots of people watchin’. Somethin’ was being chanted.”
  - May have been pushed out from skin instead of pushed into.
  - He doesn't know.

Lafiaht

• Found some information on the Sisters of the Red Lotus
  - “Fuckin’ tracked them, yeah? When I couldn’t find shite in Limsa I went over to Ul’dah. Took a bit—but I found them. They’re exactly what they say in their letter, yeah? Sister of the Red Lotus. Covenant of women devoted to Nald’Thal. An’ I mean fuckin’ devoted. . . But apparently more to Thal. Didn’t stay long, yeah? Would’ve been in poor form to loiter.”
  - “Ain’t seem much different from any other church, didn’t seem to get many donations but seemed well enough off—Not everyone wore pins but some did. Watched them for a day or so. . . so they might’a seen me but I don’t know how they’d know where I’m at. Granted, how would they know where either of you were at, yeah?”
  
• Also something else
  - "My Carbuncle started sniffin’ further out into the desert, yeah? By the uh. . . the uh—fuck what do they call it. . . Unholy Heir? Now—I’m trustin’ the authorities here which I ain’t usually wont to do but from what they said a body was found round there a couple days ago. Kinda fishy—Considerin’ their scent was lingerin’ round the place. Don’t see why a priest of death would be needed anywhere other than a burial ground, yeah?”
  - Potentially concerning the Spirit
  - Something to look into

 

________

 

[blot]

 

Nevermind, I [streak, blot; the entry abruptly ends here]

[Dasair]

Messes.

 

We have one indeed.

 

[ink blot]

 

I've not the slightest still what to write, and half wonder [a few more spots] Merely setting myself loose is hardly necessarily the answer, as strange as that sounds to write, and yet [a few more blots]

 

I continue to tap this page into undefined indefinincy~

 

Why can't what -[streak spot]

 

I wonder if I may be able to ward this tome. To keep all that is within, and the letters, that much safer, I-[blot]

 

I then realize I'd written nothing of previous endeavors. Things that most certainly need to be noted~ Hells, how these thoughts twist themselves into me, and I can think of little else~

 

I [blot] I had sent her Avis riddles. Many riddles which unwind to something of myself. Some Knowledge, I had told her before, is on the par of being so close, that known to another, may change the one who speaks it. It leaves them vulnerable. It is important. And in the answers, that could be found. But such is something that cannot simply be stated; in the form of a riddle, everything is much more [a few blots] hidden. Safe. Available for uncover. Because, I believe, there is a point, where [blot blot] where one is trusted enough to believe in their intellect. To say 'alright, I see a bit more of you now. I understand you enough to give you this hint, and if you can discern the hints I give, if you put the patience and care into unraveling these tangled words, to embarking on that journey, and devoting as much time as it takes you to find those answers, then you may have them. They will mean something to you, but you must have known that from the start to even begin.'

 

It is a gift of Knowledge, but only for those who might endeavor to have it.

 

That is where I am, and was. And I gave her my riddles. If she found their truths, she would know more of me than what I have ever told any outside. By her words, words that I have known no other to return in kind, I find I trust her in a way I trust no one else. Not.. not entirely. I don't know if [blot] I just don't know. But I will give her riddles, and see what she does with them. Because it is always then that they turn away.

 

[a few more spots]

 

All that aside, after I had done this, she gave me a story. She solved them, and knew some of the answers, returned to me what she lives for, a Story of hers, and I [blot]

 

Well, this is tangential. I still can't [blot] I mean [spot spot] Hells~ I cannot even write my thoughts on that now, so I will leave that aside.

 

I mean instead to note what happened. Though perhaps 'noting' it is the best way.

 

She visited. It was.. unexpected. She slipped a scribbled note under my door~ Being, a note of scribbles and nothing more. I let her in, an we spoke.

 

We spoke of paper. There is actually nothing wrong with it.

 

We spoke of gems. They are changing. I'll need to write better notes for this later, explain to Lafiaht and Sylas, but they exchange memories. Avis and I saw something from each other. She [blot] she saw a time in which I had described in part by my riddles. Of crystals. Of being let out with Them. I saw a moment of her childhood. Of rushing to see a spectacle.

 

We spoke of messes~ She gave me a clip to keep my hair away from my eyes, took the challenge of doing so. I still have it. I.. [blot] It is a nice gift. And it is actually rather useful, I will keep it with me. ... For its uses, of course. [ink blot] Well, no, also because she gave it to me. I can admit fondness for such things in my own tome, can't I? How she would comment on that though, hells~

 

We spoke of tomes. I showed her the Nymian tome we are to translate, and it was [spot] endearing to see her hold it, and treat it so. ... She sniffed it~ Yet treated it with the utmost respect. She's very excited to work on learning its secrets. I will need to [blot] sort out how to attain the resources I am considering.

 

We spoke of travel. She may be leaving. She had, she claims, come to bid me farewell, but it seems I had changed her mind with news of the tome, that she might remain longer. I [a few blots] would never think to stop another who might wish to travel, to see more that they haven't seen, to do as they might choose. Though I.. I think I would miss her. I would. Even as sporadically as we meet as is~ Though, if she wished, she may still have been able to send letters [blot] And the missing would.. well, at the same time I would be very pleased for her, finding new stories as she wishes. There is no reason for her to stay if she has no reason to stay~ Yet. ... I am glad she wishes to remain just a bit more.

 

[a few more spots] My thoughts are such a jumble, I can even see it in my words, how strange they are. Perhaps this isn't the way to sort these thoughts. [a few more blots] Perhaps I need a page where I may write freely.

 

Such a strange thing. I bound this tome specifically for my travels, but I bound it back in the caverns. It almost.. it is like me. It longs to be free in all ways it can, yet somehow still feels tied, like it may be yanked and reeled in for demanding eyes beyond my own at any moment. Like somehow they would know. I keep noticing how difficult it is to write in here now. And I feel so badly for the tome itself; it was made for a purpose, yet is bound by something that prevents it from reaching its full potential. ... By another's discerning. Mine.

 

I wonder what I can do to fix this. Wards, perhaps. As I was thinking earlier, or perhaps a lock, a warded lock. Multiple warded locks. Perhaps this tome will undergo a change.

 

Perhaps then, if it changes like I feel I am, in this uncertain flux, perhaps we may be able to better connect with each other again. [blot]

[Dasair]

By the gods and the hells~

 

This I [spot]

 

I cannot believe what has happened~ That.. That all that happened, I hath never felt such an elated sort of fire within, even after, as though it were kindled in her presence and fans with my thoughts. I would wish to detail everything but I don't think I can separate myself from this whirling mess I have caught myself in long enough to explain, to describe, to note down precisely just, and it's terrible~

 

But wonderful all the same.

 

Instead, my head swims with recent memory and possibility, though is trapped in the feeling of 'now', how such a thing can encompass the past, present, and future is- [spot] I've no words~ Well, no, I've many words. All words that make only jumbles of sense when placed together, because that is what I am now.

 

What a Mess we are~

 

I did warn you~

 

Oh, by the gods and the hells of all, what am I going to do with myself? I must do something with myself. [a few spots] Learning better wards for this tome would be one. Perhaps some modifications, I'll need more crystals [a few more spots]

 

But to explain. I should take this down, even if [blot] Well, I want to!

 

Nothing went as planned. Well, no that isn't so; getting to the beach went as planned. And seeing the sea! Hells, what an exquisite experience, letting the sea have my time. The waves were such a force, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I wonder if we could learn to swim, her and I~ You know, I never would have thought Avis didn't know how either, not until she told me, of course. She'd been in the ocean before, seems to enjoy it quite, yet she doesn't know either~ What an amusing irony.

 

But she found me there, and after hearing of my to-be experiments, she led me on~ Deeper out into the waves, it was- it was rather indescribable. Such a vastness, like wading into a breathing thing that stretches on beyond sight and sound both. A suggestion to emerse myself was given, and it was- [blot] the sounds beneath! She was surprised I could hear the creatures of the sea moving about, or, so I thought I could. We spoke of Many Things, small things, (of course she knew the sounds, of course she couldn't hear the fishes, but that she might join me anyway~) and she sung a song for me.

 

A small experiment. And I could hear them! I'll be thrice damned if I can wring them to mind now, my mind races so. But that she would sing~ Something changed her mind, and I was quite excited by it.

 

She wished to see the tome though, and thus, we made a return and- [blot] That was when I- we-[spot spot]

 

I was so pleased that I could trust her.

 

I told her then, when she asked. Much. And- well, it was frightening, but also felt- I wanted to. I'd never given the words I'd wrote in the letters yet, but even then, even there, I wished to tell her that [blot] should I be an Uncertain thing, a strange being speaking a language unknown, to merely ask me, and I will try to give her my words more clearly. I would try to let her know me as I could.

 

And without my telling, she asked. So of course, I wished to answer.

 

[a few spots]

 

She knows me more now. From what I came, though not where, exactly who, entirely why. She knows my name. I [blot]

 

My thoughts dance in ever changing spirals~

 

She took my hand once. And I took hers. She lent me her eyes for which to view the sky that I can never see as the sun took it forth.

 

And we left ourselves to rest among the sands~ Hells, there is so much to write, and yet I find my mind dancing so to allow none of it~ It was all ever as I never expected, and I am left, so pleased plans went awry that night~

 

Its own Gentle Chaos indeed~

[Dasair]

Unspoken Knowledge

 

• Zeraia Reynard / Zerayya al-Rahal
  - original owner
  
• Location
  - one of many 'bases of operations'
  - lots of research completed
  - and tested
  - lab below
  
• Vague connection to Dee's crystal
  - not direct
  
• Had summoned voidsent to dig out an underground complex
  - real laboratory
  - scouted by Rachelloux's carbuncle
  - expansive
  - full of uncontrolled voidsent
  - behind huge vault door
  - warded
  - creatures cannot escape
  
• What is there
  - bodies
  - voidsent
  - equipment
  - 5 artificial void fissures
  
• 1 rendered inert
  - "but the cost was... too high."
  - Deitrala claims the cost was 'medium'
  - Rachelle disagrees
  
• 4 more fissures
  - half open, half closed
  - unsure of why
  
• Deitrala managed to close the one
  - but it reached 'one of her open spots'
  - [blot] Might this be the reason behind the crystal?
  - or the strange... spread of its 'effects'?
  - she did not clarify
  
• Expedition will be organized to clear it out
  - and secure the fissures
  - apparently on tables
  
• Fissures should have been flung open after her death
  - they are not
  - instead, half open, half closed
  
• I asked if she may have a lingering spirit
  - they replied she may be alive.
  - despite all reports
  
• Fissures created by sacrifice
  - several dozen people
  - killed many with experiments
  
• Would like my help to close and clear the place
  - do not inform others.

[Dasair]

There are a couple letters tucked into this page.

 

Salutations, again, in a way.

 

I wished to thank you again for your help while I wander in my travels. As long as I don't get shoo'd away again, I'm going to take a little time to wander around Mist, maybe see that beach.  I need to find not-wet-clothes. 

 

To be completely honest, and perhaps give you some peace of mind, [blot] I don't actually own a chocobo.  Nor did I steal one either!!  It would be nice to have one someday! I've always been envious, and yours is really nice too. It has a nice chirp.  Anyway, I [blot] well, it was a rented chocobo, have you ever ridden one? They're incredibly quick, and to be honest, it was taking me along its route, I saw some nice flowers... but didn't know how to make it stop? It wouldn't listen to reason, or control on the reins, or anything. It was so set. Well, next I did what I could think of, I was flat on my bum on a dirt road and that bird was off without me... So... there! If you're worried, no need to be! My bum is fine, and that bird's probably back to its master.  [blot]

 

I just didn't want to admit that to a stranger, you know? You can't be too sure who to trust with being lost, right? I mean, I admitted that anyway but-- well, I would certainly like to think I sound like I know what I'm doing [blot] sometimes. 

 

Anyway, sorry for the white lie, and thank you again for your efforts, regardless.  Enjoy your work and your place of employment.  Another thing to be envious of, to be quite frank.  Maybe I'll return someday.

 

For now, I'm off to find flowers, and maybe visit that beach. Maybe there are beach flowers?

 

Farewell, bookkeeper of the dark hours.

 

-Nonovi Novi

 

 

 

Bookkeeper of the Dark Hours,

 

Hello, I'm not sure it matters, but I don't know when I will be in Limsa LimoLominsa again. Some [blot] colleagues found me so now I've been returned to Ul'Dah.  It was a pleasant adventure while it lasted though! [blot] 

 

 

It's oddly alright to be back in the city, but I can't seem to shake the desire to leave again. [blot] Considering our last conversation, I can imagine you would perhaps say something along the lines of "Just do it!", right? I actually found another here who wishes to encourage my leaving as well, and he knows some swell healers in Gridania!  I've had the smell of the seas now, I can only imagine how verdant forests must be like.  You said something about not going there, right?  Maybe when I'm stellar in the arts, I can find you again and teach you what I know-- I'll keep in mind the dewdrops and the rain when I get to that point.

 

 

I actually thought I saw you here in the city last night, and that's what prompted me to write you!  This duskwight was VERY tall and really exotic with all the golds and blacks.  I have to wonder and maybe ask! Is it simply a cultural thing of your people to don those colours?   Anyway, now that I think on it, his hair was very light, and yours is very .... not. Oh well.

 

Take care, bookkeeper, and good luck in your study and understanding of the Aether.  Should our paths cross again, I'll look forward to it!

 

-Nonovi

 

I don't know if you have ever ventured to Ul'Dah, but there are great tortoises here.---^

I've never seen them at night, but it looks like they should have candles on their backs, right? They're just... things though, growths on the shell? I don't know. I should ask.

 

 

 

These letters tell me more of the sender than I'd known by our meetings.. But such may be oft the way of words on a page, to draw out Something beyond, or of a different sort, than can be seen by encounter alone.

 

What an odd lalafell she was, though I gleamed she thought me just as odd, if not moreso. She was rather... well one could not ignore her voice when she spoke. 'Loud' is a bit too harsh, but of notable volume. She seemed particularly... bothered that I might learn by my own terms, the second time she found me. Though I do wish that I could have replied to these letters. As it stands, I know not where she resides or if she might receive them.

 

[blot]

 

May her travels be well and there be less falling from chocobos in her future~

[Dasair]

It is nice, at times, to meet one that respects those more sensitive of hearing, speaking the normal of Below to those who hail from it. So much so that I imagine they might be one of our own. What an intriguing hooded traveler, and one of Aetherical potency with interest in mine, no doubt. I wonder if we may meet again.

 

[blot]

 

Though am I really so different from the others? I suppose when it comes to outside Knowledge, there are those more wary. To some ends I see why. And then there are those with entirely different goals in mind. [blot] I wonder how many times she had crossed us, where that winding story had wandered.

 

'Trifling wisdom', huh~?

[Dasair]

A note that Asheloux takes to barging into my study when he feels the need to contain himself from burning places down. At the least, he claims he won't due to the tomes and Knowledge, but [blot]

 

He also has a great hate for Ishgard. Oddly, it seems that they offered their assistance to his research, despite their great distrust for outsiders... and Asheloux worries he may somehow be enslaved, or put under displeasing circumstances by the Holy See, as he has no particular 'proper documentation' of living in any state. [blot] Which reminds me, I may well need to update my own papers, in the case of such needing notion. But regardless. Apparently Asheloux has been working on something that involves dragons; perhaps that is why they've an interest? The one who came to plead the case of assistance seems to grate on Asheloux immensely, however; a choice quote of his I recall: "His face projects the very essence of stupidity making him impossible read."

 

Though he did mention 'maintaining his status as an insider'... does that mean he is Ishgardian?

 

I do admit, as much as he is dreadfully grumpy, the wildwood is at the least entertaining at times. Though I, too, admit, that it sounds a frustrating position to be in.

 

And I've still amusement at his calling of me a 'glowing swamp monster'. Claiming, of course, that it is entirely my fault for making him want to vomit by my appearance, though that my visage is at least a little more tolerable to him now with the assistance of my scepter. He knew not how it was done, but found himself interested. I thus explained a bit. And.. he wishes to find for me something different. An experiment, of sorts. Mentioning he had a number of artifacts himself, and.. could steal more if wished~

 

I do admit, I'd be curious to see the effects on options I've not yet tried, so.. should this ever arise, I would be interested in the results.

 

[a few spots]

 

I really know naught of him at times~

[Dasair]

How did I-[blot]

 

[spot] Why did she[another blot]

 

Hells. [streak]

[Dasair]

[The following notes seem hastily scrawled onto the page; the script still neat enough, but not as neat as always. Below, the entry seems much more clean. ]

 

Asheloux's Body Issues

 

• Seems to have become a woman by some Aetherical experiment mistake.
  - Same demeanor
  - Same Aetherical sensitivity
  - Really not pleased about this
  - I was the last option he had to seek assistence from

 

• What happened
  - Attempted to recreate the experiment that damaged his eye
  - Different type of crystal
  - similar to allagan tech fragments used previously
  
• Crystal
  - aetheryte crystal
  - also corrupt earth crystal from up north
  - tech fragments from journey to Coerthas
  
• What happened
  - doesn't quite remember
  - body felt similar to teleportation magic
  - Thinks something shifted.

 

• Adeya
  - Keeper
  - Garbed in blues
  - Forced to stand as Asheloux took up the whole of my couch
  - Apparently works for Asheloux
  - Seems serious
  - Cares not for any ill-mention of women (by Asheloux)
  - Apparently studies Arcanima
  - Sent a Carbuncle after Asheloux for being murderously hostile after his mishap

 

____

 

He wishes my help with this. Of course, he must note that I was the last one he wished to come to, and of course he goes about huffing near constantly, kicking up my carpet, complaining about my desk not being near enough the couch so he might put his feet on it as though my study were entirely built for his barging-in pleasure~ Though I [blot] I am inclined to help regardless.

 

... As rude as he is, I feel I was less than cordial with him until he mentioned as much. Perhaps I took his plight too light-heartedly. Though I doubted not there be a solution, I [spot] Would it make me just as bad to continue to be amused at his expense? I thought it would. I can imagine his situation being.. entirely jarring, unsettling, and perhaps his means to show such is.. merely to continue being so rude. At the very least, he is consistent. I suppose too, that it is honest. ...And I can't say he lacks intelligence, just any sort of tact in dealing with another. Though I am one to write such words! I can only imagine how difficult it must be at times for others to deal with myself.

 

[spot] Anyroad, I've some ideas. I hadn't thought it something one could do, in truth, before I had seen Ellemeare after her ritual, but it would appear that there might be ritual means to change another's form. [blot] To be true, I've no idea what methods her family used for such a procedure, but they did so and were able to change her form, so I am sure a mere reversal of one that already occurred, especially back to one's regular body, would be plausible.

 

If at all possible, I'd like it to be as much a reversal as it can be. It is the safest route, I believe, to use what one already knows to work in such a method, and apply it in a logical fashion to a desired, and equally logical, result. I'm sure there are other ways. But I am bound by my knowledge and what they have said, and so, I will use a number of similar materials for the circle.

 

I'll need to dig through some of the Family Tomes of mine, make sure my circles are accurate, create the right formation, and gather any excess materials that will be needed. I'll.. need to head to Little Solace as well; I've no doubt there are some that would be interested, Furixia immediately comes to mind. [a few pen-tapped spots]

 

May as well begin the drafts elsewhere.

[Dasair]

Ritual : Aetheric Reassembling

 

Purpose: To revert Asheloux's body back to its previous state, alive and in entirety.

 

Summary: Using Sylphan Glamours to create a 'base in Aether' of what his body once was like, a ritual will be completed which modifies Aether-flow in the circle such that in teleportation, Asheloux's material Aether will disassemble (as it does normally when teleporting) and reassemble differently from it's start. The reassembling transformation will take shape of the pre-established Glamour of his hoped-for / original body. Materials of Earth element help solidify Aether. Aetheryte materials help teleport, modify, disassemble, and reassemble Aether. The circle binds the procedure together appropriately for the desired outcome. It is relatively simple in practice, the material gathering and spelling being the most difficult part.

 

 

• Location specifications
  - minimal wind
  - relatively private
  - larger than my study-space
  - without grass or too messy a ground; must be suitable for gem dust circles to not be lost or easily trampled

 

• Assumed participants
  - Myself (ritual leader-direction, power flow, set-up)
  - Asheloux (crux, center)
  - Furixia (participant, power flow, Aetheric binder)
  - Solaxio (participant, power flow, Aetheric binder)
  - Adeya (pending participant, power flow)

 

• Materials
  - Flawless Earth Crystals (circle component)
  - Aetheryte Crystals: 2 large, 2 small, additional for proportional focus grounding (focus, and power flow component)
  - Gem dust: Topaz (circle component)
  - Sylphan focus
  - Spelled Focus Sphere (powerflow stand-in; backup)

 

Set up

 

• Spell all materials to bind. The outlying Aetheryte crystals specifically must be holden to the gem dust of the circle.
  - The Sylphan focus needs no binding.
  
• [There is a diagram here that looks somewhat like a complex geometry, but... not quite. It has a number of different sized circles, connecting within other circles, within an oval. In addition, there are various rune-like symbols scribed about it in various places, apparently denoting placement.]
  
• Places
  - Asheloux: large, central circle at the bottom, will teleport to the large central circle at the top.
  - Myself: Mid- Aetheryte frag. circle
  - Adeya / Sphere: Mid- Aetheryte frag. circle
  - Furixia: Sm- Aetheryte frag. circle
  - Solaxio: Sm- Aetheryte frag. circle

 

 

Procedure

 

• Furixia and Solaxio cast a Glamour on Asheloux
  - Asheloux must remain holding their focus
  - The focus will retain the glamour as a 'base' for the Aetherical shifting
  - Though the glamour is merely a faux form, it must be retained, else there will be no shift.
  - Asheloux will focus on the form he wishes his body to become
  - Should anything be incorrect, now is the time to adjust it.

 

• Asheloux takes his place on the far end of the circle
  
• We all take our own respective places
  - Note: Do not break the circle, nor step on it
  - Note: Do not leave from the circle once you have stepped in, until it is stated safe
  
• Those with Aetheryte crystals in their places may now pick them up.
  
• The participants now all focus Aether into the crystals at an even rate
  - Power will flow through the circle
  - it can be felt
  - Try to keep it steady or even with the rest; the power will slowly increase over time
  - If the Sphere is used, it will mirror the power levels of the others; leave it alone
  
• When the power of the circle is sufficient, inform Asheloux
  - participants maintain the Aether flow the entire time
  
• Asheloux then uses the Aetheryte crystals on the other side of the circle to teleport to
  - The crystals are numerous for a reason; it will split up the Aether in teleportation to allow for the new body to form
  - The crystals being /within/ the circle bind them to a single point, however, when Aetheric power runs through it
  - The focus that Asheloux holds also retains a singular 'visage' that his teleporting Aether will reform its shape to.
  
• When Asheloux appears on the other side, within the circle with the crystals, his body should take the form of the glamour.
  
• Power can slowly be diminished from the circle.
  - keep it steady; do not abruptly stop, nor step out of the circle until directed
  - Place down the crystals but remain in the circle until the power subsides.
  - Step out, but do not break, the circle when directed.
  
• Once complete, Asheloux can release the sylphan focus

 

• Make sure to carefully clean up the components.
  - Remove the crystals before breaking the circle.
  - Collect dust if possible; leaving it may facilitate attraction of Earth Sprites

[Dasair]

Orrian Servais

 

• Duskwight
  
• Knows my name, unclear if familiar with the Family
  
• Looking to have a book bound for his research
  
• Aetherical anomalies; others like myself
  
• Looked to be a member of the Thaumaturge's Guild by garb
  
• Respected curiosity for Knowledge
  
• Wishes methods kept secret
  
• Serious by tone, smirked on occasion
  
• Reminds me of R
  
• Goblet ward 4, plot 30

 

 

So he agreed. [a single inkblot]

 

 

[The following entry is written somewhat in a more messy scrawl, tinier than usual, and almost off to the side of the page more like a note than anything.]

 

... I've never been faced with such a possibility. That there might be a cure for my.. situation. Yet.. what would it mean for me? That I would have myself entirely under control? That I would no longer need to worry of the pain, of the- [blot] the episodes? The loss of consciouness, the feeling of elsewhere, the [blot] crystals? The paralysis? The exhaustion? What would it cure exactly, and what would be lost? What would be the cost?

 

I am curious for Knowledge, of course, how can I not be? I want to know.. why. But at what price? Will I [blot] will I give up myself? To have to rely on another yet again... I don't know what I should do. I am curious, but it is dangerous. And he is a duskwight. What if he knew my Family? They never wanted any to know of me, of my... situation. They.. they always claimed they sought to help me, but ne- [blot]

 

[a few spots]

 

I don't know what I should do.

 

I want to Know for the sake of Knowledge, but it.. it is the sort of Knowledge I know will change me. Will Change what I am, somehow, it will bring me new truths, or new lies, and they will be of something so deep I'll need to - [spot]

 

Or not. Who is to say aside from myself what I allow to affect me so? Will I allow something else to determine my.. my own perception when I do not wish it? I [spot] I have before. But that was because I was powerless. What if I can No, I don't want to cage it. I don't want to restrict it, I want it to agree with me. I want us on the same side, to befriend it, if it would have me. And if not, let us agree to disagree.

 

But for that.. for that I need to know from where it comes, or came. I wish to learn why. I would like to know.. if I was right. If I am wrong. If I know nothing at all. Or if it's somewhere in between.

 

So I've come to a decision.

 

[a few blots]

 

Should I-[spot]

 

[a few more blots]

 

But only one.

[Dasair]

[The first half of these notes seems scribbled down quickly, while the second half is more precise.]

 

Potential Follower

 

• Pyehra
  - may have encountered one.
  - "I struck metal, a glow bloomed violet after... I believe they retreated, as I found and heard nothing after. .. I apologize."
  - Near the Bramble Patch

 

• Pyehra
  - Miqo'te Keeper
  - Sings and plays the lyre well
  - Seems rather bound to the Twelveswood
  - Speaks at a nice tone
  - Quite kind
  - Seems more inclined to musings than originally thought
  - Sensitive about the Calamity
  - Hunter at times - archer
  - Uncertain ties to Gridania