A Healer's heart (open)

[Star Lin]

ooc: This take place several minutes after the latest Grindstone.  Anyone that might have been there and just wants to check up on the young healer will be gladly welcome in.

 

The purple hair Miqo'te lean heavily against the door of his family apartment, his ears tilting forward as he hears the sound of heavy footsteps.  He push the door open, "Dad..." he said, feeling heavy in a not so good way.

 

Thomas step out of the kitchen area, the highlander taking in the exhausted stance of his son and the familiar at his feet.  "John, let Kit rest..." he said, moving forward and circling one arm around the Miqo'te's shoulder.  A quiet 'oh' and Kit vanish, her energy returning to the book.  Thomas tighten his arm around his son as the boy's knees gave out, scooping him up and moving over to the couch.  "Be at peace, my son."  He brush bits of hair away from the closed eyes.  John looked so much younger then his 21 years.  "Sleep and regain your strength."

 

John distantly felt the gloves being pulled off his hands, dreams of an overturn cart, and a little red hair girl holding a baby miqo'te.  Yet those even faded into deep sleep, the smell of candle smoke and bitter coffee the last to disappear.

 

Thomas settle into his chair and contacted Momodi by linkpearl to let her know that John had made it back to the apartment and to pass word on to Margret when she stop by.

[Star Lin]

Another Grindstone come, gone, and coming again.  Yet, as John walk out of Uld'ah Nala gate, he was unsure about attending this coming one.  He may his way to the huge stone, not paying attention to the men practicing near the water's edge.  His glove hand was laid on the stone, looking up to where Sir Warren had stood during the last meet.  He had so many questions, why put themselves through the fight?  Was it just for the gil...or something else.  He step back, pulling the glove off his right hand, and reach out to touch the stone before him.

 

John stop just an inch from the stone's surface, feeling the energy just dancing out of reach of his touch, and his ears laying flat against his head.  He close his hand in a fist, pulling away from the stone before he could touch it, and shove the glove back onto his hand.  Turning away from the stone, he rest his back against it, and slide down it's face to sit on the stand.  "No," he whisper, "I won't get the answers that way."

 

Yes, the waking dreams wouldn't answer the true question...why he had cheer himself at the fights?  Needless bloodshed and he had gotten thrill at it.  His tail lashed the sand in anger.  He should have been sicken by the display but he wasn't.  He came to his feet, rob swirling around him, and stop in the middle of the sands.  An awkward punch was thrown, follow by another punch, and another.  While that was going on, questions needle in his head.

 

He hit the ground, panting, and stagger to his feet.  The 'dagger' play was even worst then his punches, tripping up on the edge of the rob and his knees digging into the ground.  His ears clamp down along the side of his head to try and keep out the laughter of the others training.  'Lance' in hand, no power behind the awkward jabs, and his mind burning with thoughts about how some of the moment had look like a deadly dance and that he should be comparing it to that.  'Axe' in hand, his movement look more like he was doing a horrible job and chopping firewood, he should have felt disdain for the lot that were fighting not thrill at the battles themselves.

 

John's eyes froze on his arm movement, his batter brain realizing that he was moving as if he held a 'sword'.  He stumble over his robs and found himself face first in the sand.  Exhaust, he push himself enough to flip onto his back, and began to gulp air into his lungs.  He wants to scream out, Why...but doesn't have to energy to do more then whisper, eyes close to the glare of the sun, "why did you....turn to the sword....Tanya....what's wrong....with me?"

[Star Lin]

John again found himself at the Grindstone but this time there was no one here but himself and Kit.  It was quiet except for the small group that was usually there during the day.  His ears twitch as he read through one of several books that he had with him.  All of the books were on aether and energy but there was a couple about engineering as well, through those haven't been crack open.  His glove cover fingers flipping the page of the book that he held.

 

Those few that notice him might have thought nothing much of the books he had.  But for John they were a line to an end.  Ever since he and his sister had realize what his 'Dreaming' was truely about, his sister had been studying the echo she had even more to help him control his own ability.  John lower his head, feeling that ache at her lost 6 years ago to the events leading up to the Calamity.  "I wish you were here, Tanya."

 

Since he has been healer at the Grindstone, he has notice that he could feel the injures with his own energy.  Even shift the aether in others to reset and heal broken bones.  He hadn't thought much about how he was doing it until after the last Grindstone.  His ears laid flat against his head, then that 'man' had shown up after the event was over with.  He could only stand there and do nothing to help those that had confront the 'person'.

 

His grip tighten on the book, what good was he if he couldn't protect those that he thought of as friends.  Still study aether and energy manipulation might give him and edge in healing if they face something like this again.

 

Yet, he also had a fear.  If his ability to read energy with his hands were getting stronger, to sense it through his glove cover hands, did that mean his 'Dreaming' was getting stronger as well.  He fear that if it was, he could become lock in a 'Dream' with no means to escape it.  No, if can't worry about that yet.  'One small step at a time, John.' his sister's words echoing in his head.  "Yes," he mutter.  "One step at a time."

[Star Lin]

John's cheek still burn from his mom's slap but his heart burn even more at his mother's words.  'Their fault.'   He knew who 'they' were that his mother was talking about.  He stumble into Pearl lane before regaining his footing and running into the Quicksand.  He ran into several people as he ran, not even stopping to apologizes to who he might have run into.  He slam his way out of the door, hop the railing, and almost landed on a Lalafell.  He flee out the gates, heading for the one place that he had felt like he use to be before Tanya's death.

 

He caught himself on the Grindstone, letting his head drop against it, and began to take in large gulps of air.  As much as he should reach up and heal the red mark on his cheek, he didn't because he understood now that his mother wouldn't understand.  He needed to heal and he couldn't...wouldn't let anyone put a restriction on it...not even his own well being.  And neither of his parents would understand like Tanya did about the other aspect of his sense aether.

 

He turn abit so that he could lean against the rock before sliding down to the ground.  His eyes watch the foot traffic move across the bridge for a while before he fish out Tanya's chocker.  He stare at the crack Sunstone, "I wish you were here, Tanya," he said.

 

But Tanya was dead and wouldn't come back.  The Grindstone was a blessing for him because he found people that reminded him of her.  Warren and Sei for their fierceness, Cliodhna and her taking no crap, Brianna and her grace when she fought, and Berrod quiet stillness.

 

Should he go to Warren and Sei about this....no, they might agree with his mother and he couldn't lose the right to attend the Grindstone.  His big sister...no, she and Sir Erik were busy planning their wedding and he didn't even let his mind think about that Cliodhna might not see him as a brother anyway.  Sir Erik might not like him bothering them such a small problem.  He cring at going to Brianna, since the highlander didn't seem to like him every time he tried to heal her.  Berrod had offer to be of help to him but he didn't know were to start looking for the highlander. 

 

He knew that he shouldn't be worried even when Clio had mention that she had been worried about Berrod not showing up at the Grindstone.  Yet, the aether around his hand twitch and his gut twisted.  Maybe he should go and look for the other...if only to have to have the highlander complain that John worried too much.  He buried his face in his knees, trying to think on where to start looking for the other.

[Star Lin]

John limp out of the gate, heading for the Grindstone, his leg and face injuries not hurting as bad as the lost of the three from their unit.  He stop in front of the large stone, glove hand resting against it.  His mind flipping back to seeing his friend injury... and wonder what Berrod and Warren for that matter would have thought of him as he panic during his first battle.  And now...now Sam was....

 

"Thought I would find you here," Sam said, watching the miqo'te spin around.  "And why haven't you taken care of those injuries?"  The dark hair hyur frown as he look over the other.  A frown starting to form even as he use the crutches to hobble over to him.  "Are you still upset about what happen.  The healers said a couple more session and I should be able to walk...

 

"Sam...I mean, Captain Robinton..." He fumble the Flame salute to the older man.  "I'm sorry...I panic and you and the others."  John bow his head.  "You almost die and we lost Rendel, Fox Smart, and Eric."

 

Sam came up to him.  "I'm not in uniform, John so drop the Captain Robinton," he said.  "Look, John, you did panic but you kept healing."  He watch John shake his head.  "We would have lost more if it wasn't for you healers."

 

"I could have done more."

 

"When Thal calls you to his table...not even the best healer can stop it."  He sigh, "A soldier know that when he or she goes out into battle, there is a chance that they won't come back.  Yet we still do so that our friends and family won't have too."  He look up at the sky.  "It hurt when we lose one of our own.  It will never get easier but the pain does ease in time."

 

He look back down at John, his face wet with his own tears.  "If you need to cry, John, then let us cry together for our brothers that did not make it back home."  He almost lost his footing as John bury his face into his chest, his shirt becoming wet with the miqo'te's tears, and allow his own to fall freely as well.

[Star Lin]

John hates research but at this point, he was ready for it.  What he had learn about Howl, true it was much, and still so much that he didn't know.  He wonder if Warren knew about Howl's eye, unsure if he would be breaking Howl's trust by going to Warren.  He look down at the his glove, "Trust...that he even let me about..." he whisper.  He close his hand into a fist.  He'll do it, he'll find some way to help his friend.  He glance down at his leg, remembering the chewing out he got, and in Warren case a stern glare, from Howl, Oak, and a few of the others.

 

He wait until neither of his parents were at home and raided his dad's books.  He pull everything about void, from the "Aether, void, and you" to "Void creatures and curses: How to summon, unsummon, and form them".  There had to be something, anything tiny even, that could help Howl.  So, now he was at the Grindstone, several books open around him.  He already had a small stack of paper off to the side, a small rock sitting on top of them to keep them from blowing away.  In his lap, was one open book, quail in hand as he wrote down what he found, before going to another book and flipping several pages, and double checking it.  Yet, he still found nothing about the void stone eye.

 

"It has to be here..." he mutter to himself.  If he could find even a tiny reference of what it could be he might be able to find a way to cleanse the stone.  If that didn't work...

 

"John?"

 

there was the chance that it could be remove.  There was risk with that though, his hand moving to another book, flipping back a couple of pages.  The lesser risk of Howl being blind...

 

"John!"

 

the greater risk was the eye being tied to Howl's aether.  Removing it would risk Howl's very life...something he really, really didn't want to risk at all...

 

"My son..."

 

John blink as he found a large familiar hand close on his right.  He look up to find his dad's concern eyes staring at him.  "Da...dad?"

 

Thomas look over his son's face.  The ears that had been shifting lower as he watch him search through his books.  The worry and fear that was flashing across John's face, finally made him step in and stop the young miqo'te.  "Who is it?" he ask.  "Who has you so concern that you risk tainting yourself with the void?"

 

"I..." John lower his head.  "I can't tell you.  They put their trust that I won't say anything..."  He look back up, face determine.  "Yet, I have to help them.  I owe them...all of them so much."

 

The highlander remove his hand from his son's own, reaching back to take his own staff in hand.  "If you are this determine to do this, I will not stop you."  He almost let a smile touch his lips.  "When you return my books to there proper place, meet me at the Thaumaturge Guild.  I will help you find the knowledge you seek."  He turn his back to his son.  "But know this, John Waterstrike," he said, "I am a hard taskmaster."  He walks back to Ul'dah.

 

He could only sit there, staring at his father until he could no longer see him.  He bow his head, taking a deep breath...and then letting it out.  To risk his aether, it was a small price to pay, if it would help his friend.  "I promise, Sir Howl," he said.  "Even if it means my death, I'll heal you so you can be happy again."

[Star Lin]

(ooc: Bonus chapter because of what happen at the Quicksand between Berrod and John.  Also this is how I see Thomas way of teaching Thaumaturge and not how it probably plays out in that class quest.)

 

Thomas sigh as his son drop to his knee, panting from burning his aether so quickly.  This was not how he had plan for John's first lesson to go.  As much as he had wanted the wall that John had built to contain his anger at Tanya's death to come down, it seem that the wall was shattering too quickly...too violently for his liking.  "That is enough."

 

"No...no," John panted, a bit of a growl escaping his thought.  Anger began to well up, at the Roe that had hit Berrod but most of it was at himself for not doing anything to protect his friend.  Using his own staff, he tries to regain his feet, only to find himself eating sand.  "Dad..."

 

Thomas slam his staff into the ground.  "I am not your Dad on this field.  I am Master Waterstrike during these lesson."  His eyes harden, "What is the first rule, John Waterstrike?"

 

"To allow anger to fuel the fire."

 

"Yes, fuel but also control.  If you add more wood to a fire you waste the wood."  He look down at the gloves that he were burnt, knowing that the fingers inside also bare the damage of the last fireball that John had summon.  "It is dangerous to let the fire just burn, both literally," he said, his staff coming down to tap at John's heart, and figuratively.  Anger is the easiest way for a being of the Void to take control of a person.  You must remember this above all else, if you wish to continue researching the Void."

 

He draws his staff up again.  "What is the second rule?"

 

"To freeze the fire."

 

"That is where the ice spell comes in.  Anger burns both ways.  Ice allows you to freeze the anger, giving time for your Aether to recover from the damage that you have done to it."  Thomas turn his back to John, making his way over to where Kit's book rested on the Grindstone.  "And the third?

 

"To burn the ice enough to strike at the spirit."

 

"That is lightning.  Anger burn, ice recovers, but both together allow one to use that to damage another aether, like lightning striking a person, shocking them to their core."  He picks up the book, turning to move back to John.  "And until you have master ice you have no hope of even coming close to learning to control lightning."  He kneels down, place Kit's book back into John's hands.  "As of right now, the lesson is over today."

 

"But, Master."

 

He place his own hand over John's glove cover one.  "I said the lesson is over.  I am you Dad now."  His other hand came to rest on John's shoulder.  "This is more then just someone striking your friend.  You said that others came to his aid and that he was an able fighter."

 

"Dad, she..."

 

"Who is it that you risk your soul?  Who is it that you are trying to save, John?"

 

"I can't...I promise him..." John's eyes widen and he clamp his mouth shut.

 

'Him,' Thomas thought.  'Someone in his unit...or someone from the Grindstone.'  He sigh as he realize that he would get nothing more from him.  "Call, Kit...allow yourself to regain your Aether back.  Then...come home."  He stood up, stepping away from his son and began to make his way back to Ul'dah.

 

The sound of a coon made his stop and look back at John, who was running glove fingers through glowing fur.  He turn away from the sight, his own soul hurting for his son.  Knowing that John would never truly know the actually feeling of Kit's fur, the feeling of leather against fingertips, or what his lover's skin would feel like.  "Why, Twelve," he whisper, looking up at the sky.  "Why did you place such a curse on my son?"

 

John's ears tilt as the wind brought his dad's words to him.  He wait until he was sure that he wouldn't turn back until his figure disappear through the gate.  Only then did he allow himself to bury his face into his knees.  His dad was right, the 'Dreaming' was a curse...one that he already knew that he would never be rid of.  But even though their was no hope for him, he had to hope that he would find a way to at lease free Howl from his own.  Kit's cooning only help to remind him that he would still be alone.

[Star Lin]

(ooc: Doing a full edit for some plot points that have comeup in "A Captain's shoulder the grief" and not including some other plot element that took place at the Grindstone this past Saturday.  All I'll say is, Sei if you see thisthread.  I'm sorry I didn't have Johnthank her for not only pointing out the wound that he miss but also the help with the aether.)

 

John sat on the Grindstone, allowing himself the quietmoment to draw.  Charcoal press to paperas he let his mind drift back the last few days.  The first talk with Howl, finding out thatwould not be able to help his friend because the stone in his left eye was a Soulstone instead of something dealing with the void.  Then the kiss that Howl had given him, makinghim remember that it had been 11 years since he had actually touch another person.  How much he had wanted to reachout and feel the warmth from Howl's face.  After he ran off from Howl, all he could thinkwas how much it hurt, how tired he was from hiding, but that he had too.  Then when Sam had found him, having found himby accident, and ask him who had kissed him, in that remember moment of panic, his mind told him that he had to leave Ul'dah.

 

He stop for a moment to rub out a bit charcoal that had smudgeon the face he had just finish, before going back to the drawing.  John couldn't help the tiny smile that tug athis lips now that he had gotten a lot of weight off his chest.  Warren had known him better than even he didhimself, catching him before he could board the airship.  Luck or fate, John didn’t know or care now,because there was more than just Sam that knew. 

They had listen, letting him pour off his shoulder what he had beencarrying for a long time.  Oak, Warren,Sam, and Howl were in that small circle of friends and he hope that it would continue to grow, even if he would never be close with someone, like Sam and Tanya had been and Warren and Sei were now. 

“I guess I’m finally seeing the forest through the trees, Sister.”  And maybe when he was more comfortable, hewould start learning about the ‘Dreaming’ instead of trying to hide from it.

 

John finish up the details of the face, holding off on theeyes so that he could begin work on the body of the person he was drawing.  After the two of them left, Sam had stop him,knowing who the notes had really been about. 

"You can't hide this from Howl, John.  You're going have to tell him just like youtold Warren and Doc Oak.  Tell him whyyou can’t be close to them.  It'll be hisdecision on if he want to have that kind of a relationship with you."  He place a hand on John's shoulder.  "Just be back at my office by theeleventh bell tomorrow.  I'll need yourand Axe help going over some reports."

 

Once he had finish the body of the person, he went back tothe face, doing the eyes last.  He had tomake sure to get this part of the drawing right.  He had call Howl to the stone and spilleverything about his curse and the way he understood it.  About why he had to keep everyone away...andHowl accept him for it, and had told him that no one could live that way.  Howl was right, he had only just been, noteven trying to live his life, and in that that moment of courage, he finally did something that he hadn’t done in eleven years.  He had remove his gloves and allow himself toreach out to someone and Howl reach out to him.

 

That first moment of touch, of feeling those pattern afterall those years, had overwhelm him, and he fell into Howl’s before he realize what had happen to him.  He had warn Howlthat the strongest emotion made the clearest memories, and because if had been so long since he had done this that he forgot that it was in fact Howl’s memories.  They had flash by confusing intheir way, many of them not very happy, until those last few, the strongest being the snow cover mountain and the "Master..." he growl, removing the charcoal from the paper and setting it down so that he could stare at it.

 

What was on the paper was huge Highlander, diamond whipraised as if to strike at something off the paper.  But the face wasn't looking off at what hemust have been aiming at, it was turn toward John.  It was the one memory that he held on tobecause of how different it had been.  ‘Thepast is the past, and I can’t change it, no matter what I do, but…’ he thought, staring at the eyes that gleam up at him from the paper.  What happen should have happen but memory ofthe Highlander had turn to him, had realize that he was there, when everything he knew about the ‘Dreaming’ scream that it shouldn’t been possible.  Then the claws had begun to dig into his mindand he tried to fight it.  He was surethat if Kit hadn’t somehow form herself in that memory and attack, the dragon would have gotten him too.  Even now, hecould still feel the after effects of the 'claws' that had try to dig their way into his mind.  He picks up the paper, foldingit and slipping it into his jacket pocket. 

He need to speak to Howl, see if it was alright for him to let bothWarren and Sei know what happen.

 

He hadn't been sure what Sei had wanted to speak to himabout.  "Do you love,Violet?"  He wanted to hate her forusing that name but all he could do was snip that violet wasn't his name, just like Snow wasn't her's name.  All thewhile he came to despise the Highlander/dragon more for what he took from them in exchange for the power that they had. 

Still, he answer her honestly, that he truly didn't know what love feltlike, in the way that she asked him. 

Only that he wanted to protect him but he wouldn't stop him from goingwith her to war.  He then told her why hecare so much for not only Howl but Warren and her as well.  "You all have been so kind to me, evenwhen I feel I don't deserve it."  Healso told her the truth as well, that even if she was ‘his’ disciple, she was their dragon, and that he wanted them both to return to them.

 

“Sei,” he whisper.  Whenthe chef had been injury, she was the one that knew he had miss the wound in her stomach.  “Thal’s balls, I didn’teven notice the blade in her stomach.” 

He knew that she was far better than him…even better than hissister.  “I want to be as good as you andHowl.”  He stood up from the stone.  “Hope I can catch them before they leave forthe North and let them know that if they needed some extra help later, that they would contact him.  He also neededto apologies to Sei, for not thanking her for the help and the aether that she had given to him.  “I still can’t believeI forgot to do that.  She must think I’ma barbarian or something.”  He wouldcontact Warren so they could meet up before Howl and Sei left.

[Star Lin]

The sun beam down warm on the miqo'te, which caused a tired yawn to escape from him.  He reach for the canister of water that he had gotten at the barracks.  It has been days now since this last Grindstone yet John still felt as if he hadn't been able to recover his strength.  He probably should be resting but...he had come across some writing by Sir Berrod and he really wanted to understand what the older man had written here.  It seem that his tiredness was making the lines of words blur together.  He allow his attention to be draw down to the ruins not far from Coffins.

 

He reach up pinching the bridge of his nose.  His mind was too occupy it seem with thoughts and exhaustion.  He manage to catch Warren after the Grindstone, and getting Judge to drive off 'those' summons that had started chasing him.  "Those things were just wrong," he mutter to himself, a yawn escaping from him, before taking another sip of water.  Warren confirm that Sei and Howl had safely left for the North.  Warren also agree to allow him to join them...it the dragon wasn't dead.  He also burn the picture of the dragon/highlander, though it unnerve him when the eyes were the last to burn.

 

John shook his head, fighting back another yawn, "No, no.  Not going to think about the creature anymore."  His mind switch over to the Grindstone, especially Sir Aaron's fights.  Something had happen to the other man, something in the fight that shook him to the core, and that had him worried as well.  In truth, he didn't know many of the other fighters, his ears lowering as he realize this.  In many cases, he was having to do a quick heal to the winner and try to get the loser heal before they took off.  It still needle at him that they wouldn't allow him or any of the other healer to check them out.  He ignore the little voice that chime in that he had done the same thing several weeks ago.

 

He should see if he could fine Aaron, check on the older...man.  John yawn again, wondering why he seem so tired.  He should probably go back to Ul'dah...see if he could find...Aaron.  He whistle, grabbing hold of the reins and pulling himself on to Safire.  He just hope that he could make it back before the darkness at the edge of his vision closed in on him.

[Star Lin]

John sigh as he move his head, allowing his mom to tie the wet cloth around his neck.  "Mom, I'm fine.  It was just a little heat exhaustion," he said.  He grimace as Kit's tail smack against his leg.  "Not you too, Kit."

 

"There is nothing little about heat exhaustion," his mother said, brushing graying black hair back from her face.  "You're the six person to come in today because of the heat.  What if it had come heat stroke before you realize what was happening?"

 

"I'm sorry, mom," he said, settling back against the pillows.  "I realize what was happening when the headache started."  He smile as a Mimi came into the room, tray of cut fruit and juice in her hand.  "Thank you, Mimi."

 

"You had us worried, Master Waterstrike."  She sat the tray on the table beside the bed before climb onto a chair next to her teacher.  "Mistress Waterstrike, the midlander is finally asleep.  Her husband is keeping watch on her right now but..."

 

"I'll go and check on her, especially with her being so close to delivery."  Margret stood up, taking her staff in hand.  Before she could head out of the room, there is a flutter of wings and a postmoogle flies into the room.  "Hello, what can I do for you?"

 

"Oh, no, no, kupo.  I've been seen and the Deputy Postmoogle will have my satchel for sure, kupo."  The moogle seem to sink low to the ground.

 

The female lalafell giggle only to choke back at John's look.  "That is rude, Mimi."  He turn and took one of the cups of juice, holding it out to the moogle.  "Here, it has been hot today and you must be tired from your travel."

 

The moogle to the cup in his hands,  "Thank you, kupo.  You are so kind, kupo."

 

"I'll leave you three," Margret said, leaving the small group in the room.  She did have other patients that she hand to check on.

 

"Were you looking for someone?" Mimi asked.

 

"Ah, yes.  I have a letter for John Waterstrike," the postmoogle said.  He flutter over as John held out his hand, letting the letter drop into his hand.  "Another successful delivery made, kupo."

 

"Thank you very much," John said.  "May the rest of you deliveries be just as successful."  He watch the postmoogle flutter out of the room before turning his attention back to the letter in his hand.  Kit also crawl into his lap, sniffing at the letter in John's hand.  Her paw push at the glove hand tracing over the name on the letter.

 

"You never get letter, Master Waterstrike," Mimi said.  "Who would be writing to you?"  She look up, her hand cover her mouth at the look on John's face.  His eyes seem to glow in a way that she hadn't seen in the miqo'te.  Was her Master's son in love.

 

"Howl," he whisper, tracing the other's name.  He felt a warmth in his chest before reach over to the small knife to cut the envelope open.  He remove the letter, opening it carefully.  "He and Sei at safely at Coerthas," he mumurred.  He felt his heart hurt for both his friends, especially at the mention of casualties.  "I heard rumors," he whisper, "but I didn't realize if was this bad..  He want to go up there now, to help those that had been hurt, but he couldn't.  With Blackjack now in the hands of the Flames after he was found out to be under the monetist thumb, Sam was eager to start back up the units' patrol.  Kit rub against his glove hand and he began to pet her just as Howl asked at the end of the letter.

 

"Master Waterstrike?"

 

"Mimi, could you leave me alone for a little while," John said, folding the letter up.  "I need to see about writing a reply.  He watch her small hand pat his glove one before she hop down and left the room.  He waited a moment before crawling out of bed, taking the chair that Mimi had been in a moment before.  Kit jump over onto the small table, snatching a piece of fruit from the bowl as she watch her partner pull out paper, ink, and quill.

 

Before he could set quill to paper as scream of pain sounded from several rooms down.  It wasn't his mother, but her voice follow not long after.  "JOHN, I NEED YOU IN HERE NOW!"

 

John came to his feet, quickly shoving Howl's letter into the inside pocket of his jacket.  He ran out of his room, down the hall, throwing himself into the room just as something shimmer and shatter around the midlander woman to reveal...horns, scales, a dragon like tail...Mimi crying out monster and the look of shock on his mother's face.  The 'woman's' husband looking like he might attack them only to be drawn back to the female on the table as she cried out in pain again.  His mother push the shock aside, gathering towels.  "John, try to ease her pain.  The baby is coming now, whether we're ready for it or not."

[Star Lin]

John's ears twitched as mother and child rest.  Au Ra... that was what her people were called, after the chaos of child birth was over.  His ears tilt as he heard her husband speaking with his mother.  It would be a few days before mother and child would be ready to leave.  By then her hyur husband would have the spell place back on his wife so they could finish their journey to Mor Dhona.

 

"You can hold her, if you wish, Waterstrike-san," she murmur, giving the miqo'te a tired smile.

 

He shook his head.  "Oh, no.  I would probably drop her."  He bow to her.  "I'm sorry for Mimi's reaction."

 

She gave another smile, eyes sad as they glance over to the Lalafell, clinging to his mother robe.  "We are different so her reaction is understandable, Waterstrike-san."

 

"It still wasn't right for her to react as such."  He pull the sheet up.  "Rest and recover.  It will be a long journey before you three reach the Toll."  He smile as she drifted off to sleep.  Giving a bow to the pair, he made his way out off the room.  He still had a letter to reply too and a very nice opening for it.  Sitting back down at the table he put quill to paper.  I'm sorry I could not write back sooner...

 

"Are you in love, Master Waterstrike?" Mimi asked from his side.  Stopping for a second on the letter to Howl, he look down at Mimi.

 

"No," he said, shaking his head.  "Not in the way that you mean.  I care very much of all of them, Howl most of all, because they have been kind to me."

 

"You have been so happy I thought that..."

 

"I'm happy because I don't feel so alone anymore."  He gave a quiet chuckle.  "You weren't the only one to ask me that question."  He rub the top of her head.  "See if Mom needs you for anything."  He watch her head out of the door before turning back to the letter.  "Any even if it is love, Howl already has someone else that could love him far better then I could," he whisper, ignoring the ache in his heart, and remembering Warren's words about Howl getting marry himself, several weeks ago.

[Star Lin]

John lean on Safire, staring at the stone, memories of a couple of nights ago now blurr in exhaustion.  It had started so well, from him telling them about the new baby, that the argument between Kage and Judge about if the latter was loud or not.  Yet, there was a tension in Warren's aether... Brianna's as well.  He at first thought it was because only Oak and he were the only healers.  Everyone was becoming on edge, Warren most of all when some of the fights seem to drag on.

 

Two of the fighters near the end, a head blow, and so much blood.  As he started to try to heal the other, he realize that the healing was going slow, even with Kit's help.  Then the female started begging the other to wake up and he realize that he was fight Thal for two lives.  If he die, Warren would have killed her as well.  He couldn't let Warren kill, not while his strongest supporters were gone to war.  So he did the only thing he could think of at the time.  He pull on Kit's aether, combine it with his own, and pour all of it into the other.  For that one moment, everything fade to nothing but the vibration of his aether pour into the wounded man.

 

When John came back to himself, he found himself leaning heavily against a blurry Kage with a blurry Warren next to him.  He had been happy because Warren didn't have to kill.  It was only after the last match was fought that he found out what the tension had truly been about.  Lady Brianna, another of Warren's friends was marching North...to face her own death.  So he had Judge to take him too her.

 

He had told her his goodbye, kissed her forehead, and told her to be a throne in Thal's side and to let his sister know that he was ok.  Warren had asked him to drink with them but he didn't want bother them more, it was Brianna's farewell, and he wasn't sure if he could hold Kit's ball form much longer anyway.  At least he made it into the inn room before darkness closed in on him.

 

A rough hand close on his shoulder.  "Bandit says you're not in any condition to ride that bird of your."  He turn his head to find a Hellguard standing behind him.  "So orders are that you're riding on the Wagon with him."

 

"but..." John began to protest, only to be scoop up into the other's arm.

 

"Sorry, Kid, but Bandit is head healer now and his word goes."  Axe made his way to the wagon, dumping John onto the bench.

 

"Glad to see you finally join us, Kid," the lalafell, Bandit said.  "Told Cap that the best thing for you was sleep.  So close those pretty eyes of yours and get some sleep.  It'll be a few hours before we reach Eastern Thanalan."  John look up to see Sam taking his place at the head of the group.  His eyes drifted back over to the Grindstone as they began to head out.

 

Lady Brianna, I hope that Thaliak's wisdom guide you on the finally leg of your life journey.  I can only hope that I will have the fierceness and determination when I face that last path for myself as well.  That I will not go quietly into the night as I know you will not.

 

He turn away from the stone, letting his eyes drift close, and sleep take him.

 

I can only hope that when I finally arrive at Thal's table that you and sister will be there to greet me.  That you will regale me with the chaos that you cause since your arrival, Lady Brianna.  Until then, please watch over us all.

[Star Lin]

"Ah, come on, Kid," Slayer said, following them into the quarter area of Camp Drybone.  "I was only trying to get you to start learning how to handle the blades."  John tail was lashing back and forth in anger.  Kit herself hiss at the Elezen before following after her partner.  "Geeze..."

 

"I would be upset as well, Slayer," Blade said, "if you had try to take my daggers."  The Doman look at him as if the other would have found a blade in his heart.  "How would you have felt if I took you Lance?"

 

"Oh, no..." he said, waving a finger at the other.  "Kid got to learn."

 

Sam pinch the bridge of his nose.  "Do I want to know?"

 

"He took Kit's book..."

 

"She bite me when I didn't hand it back fast enough..."

 

"John finally let himself touch a dagger..."

 

The whole group stare at Blade before turning to look at John.  "He said to think of it like a big bread knife."

 

Sam look up at the ceiling.  "Why do I even lead this lot?"

 

"Because you would be bored out of your mind," Axe said.  "Mail came."  He held a small stack of envelopes.  "Bandit, looks like your girlfriend sent you kisses."

 

"Give me."

 

"Blade, letter from you're brother."

 

"Thank you."  He took the letter and open it.  "Ah, he and his wife have made it safely to Toll..."  A grin appeared.  "I'm an uncle.  He and his wife had a little girl."  Rounds on congratulations sounded from the group.  "Can I have time away from the Unit to go and..."

 

"I demand that you take the week," Sam said, smacking Blade's back.

 

"Slayer, letter from your daughter."

 

"Thank you," the Elezen said, a gentle smile grace his lips.

 

"Oh, look at this," Axe said, holding a letter up.  "Seem the Kid is getting mail too.  Let see the sender's name is How..." a flash of gold and the letter was snatch from his fingers, and the hellsguard chuckle as he watch Kit hop into John's lap, who in turn took the letter and tore it open.  "Looks like Kit is eager as well."

 

"Howl sent you a letter?" Sam asked coming over the the miqo'te.  "But he'll see you at the Grindstone."

 

"No he and Lady Sei are fighting up North," John muttered, not opening the letter just yet, hands trembling a little.  He missed the look that Sam gave Slayer, who's face had harden at John's words.

 

Axe also came over.  "Well, go on, open it.  I'm sure that it isn't bad news."

 

John open the letter.  "Dear John," he began.  "I'm sorry for the delay in writing back, things have been kinda crazy of late.  Think I told you before how we were spread out on a ridge over Ishgard?  Well, now our same milita's spread out over two ridges."  John's face began to pale as he kept reading.  "The Fifth Regiment of Ishgard's wiped out.  Yeah, completely gone.  Think some survivors made it out or into the city...but their positions are either full of dragons or full of corpses."

 

His hand was trembling so hard he could barely make out the words.  "Peace!  Ain't seen a fight that bad in ages, and we were so far away we could do nothing but watch.  Was something to see, the cannons lighting up the night sky and the flames from the dragons swooping on down, but the screams... they carry in the night, even for malms."  John was sure that he was going to be sick.

 

"Nightingale, do you have maps over the area?" Sam asked, turning to the archer of the group.  "Slayer, do you know the ridges that he's talking about?"

 

"When do I not keep a map on me?"

 

"Let me see the map and I'll show them to you."  The map was spread out of Coerthas and the Elezen look over it before pointing to the area that Howl had talk about.  "It's not good Cap.  They're sitting Chocobos if the dragons decide to take the city.  And for the group that's on the ridges...I don't hold out much hope unless they're Dragoons."  His mouth snap closed at Sam glare and the whole group look over at a still shaking John and a cooning Kit, who was rubbing her head against his glove hand.  Blade had move over stand beside the miqo'te.

 

"They were suppose to take the ridge back tomorrow, which mean that they did so yesterday," John said, still staring at the letter.  "I want to go to them and help but what if...what if..."

 

"Come with me, John."  Blade stood up.  "They will be busy for a while as they work out details."  He waited a moment before he slip off the chair, following after the Doman.  "My name is Shun and I wish to thank you for helping my brother," he said after the pair step outside.  "And for accepting my Sister-in-law."

 

"You're..."

 

Shun turn around, holding a pair of daggers out.  "Take these."  He waited a moment after John shook his head no.  "We will not attack anything.  You need to relax and practicing movement will do so.  They will not hurt someone if you wish them not to."  He waited, watching John's face, and the glove hands that finally pick up the blades.  "Now," he added, pulling another pair blades out, "watch what I do."  He brought the blade up and then back down.  "You can copy me when you're ready."  Back up and then down, slowly back up and then back down.  He did this for several minutes, fighting the tiny smile as John began to follow his movement.  He added a swipe outward with the other blade.  Up, down, side swipe, up, down, side swipe...

 

"When you feel you are calm, then write to him.  Let him know that you are ready to fly, Eagle, when they call for you."

 

Sam came out of the building, looking for John, afraid that the miqo'te had run off.  He could only stare at the sight that greeted him.  Flashing steel of Blade's daggers dancing in the sun and Kid's own rough and not as fast movement.  He stood for a moment watching the pair, the relax posture of both, and no need for the outside world.  "Twelve, I have the greatest Unit in the world."  He had a letter to write though, especially if John didn't hear back from Howl soon.

[Star Lin]

The bump of the wagon startle him back awake.  "Sorry," John said, rubbing his eyes.

 

Blade...Shun wave it off, giving him a smile.  "No need.  You had night patrol and then help us pack before leaving.  The story can wait."

 

Before John could ask him to continue the story, a letter drop into his lap.  He glance up in time to see the postmoogle flying off in another direction.  He pick the letter up, holding it for a few moments.  "Howl..."

 

"Open it, Eagle and let's here what your friend has to say."

 

John open it and knew immediately that it wasn't Howl who wrote him.  The writing was elegant flowing cursive handwriting.  Terror well up in his mind and he knew that this was the letter telling him that Howl was...Howl was...

 

"Read, Eagle, and breath as well," Blade said.  He had notice that John seem to think the worst was going to happen.

 

'Yeah,' John thought to himself.  'Read...it might be from Lady Sno...Sei, it's Sei.'  He groan, realizing that Howl had even got him calling her Snow.  He took a calming breath.  "Dear John.  Sorry for writing you so much, hope it ain't annoying you none.  It helps out here on the front to get word in from home, makes it feel less lonesome.  Hope you ain't lonely too."  He closed his eyes, thanking Thaliak for watching over his friend, his own loneliness flashing in his heart.  He so wanted them back here, now.

 

Blade shook his head, watching the emotions flash across the miqo'te's face.  Too have so many people around him and not being able to connect.  No wonder the young eagle hadn't found his will to fly.  "John," he said.

 

"Oh, sorry."  He glance at the letter, finding the spot he left off at.  "I figured you'd want to hear all about the big battle... We took the Fifth's positions back, which is the good news, but at a pretty damn high cost in lives, which is the bad."  He smile a little, "They did it but the cost..."

 

"It is a cost that any warrior knows they may have to pay in time."

 

John could only let the grief wash over him, realizing the pain that Howl and must be feeling over lost comrades.  He turn his attention back to Howl's letter.  "I kinda got in bad news from Warren right before the battle - he wrote Snow and told her that he was disappointed in me not telling him about my promotion.  Sometimes I feel like I can't do right by him, you know?"  Warren and Howl fighting...no, he had to fix it.  He didn't know how but there had to be something he could do to make it better.

 

"So I guess I threw myself into the battle harder than I should've, ended up taking a claw to the stomach at some point.  I'm having Snow write this out for me 'cause she won't let me sit up to do it myself."  The letter drop from his hand, the words burning into his mind, 'claw to the stomach'.

 

Blade saw the shift in movement, knowing that John try and fly to the other.  He was quicker, taking one of his dagger and pining the other's jacket to the floor of the wagon.  "You are not going anywhere, Eagle."  He handed the letter back.  "I'll only let you go if he actually ask for your help."

 

John try to glare but if felt more like a pout.  He took the paper, scanning over it before relief flood.  "He's ok.  A healer already seen to him."  Even if he wasn't the one that took care of him, he was glad that Howl was alright.  "He said that he got hurt because he let his emotion get in the way of thinking."

 

"And that is why you will remain here," Blade said, pointing to the dagger that pin his coat to the floor.  "You rush into battle and you only put yourself into danger."

 

Bandit look back from where he was driving the wagon.  "Anything else that he said about the battle?"

 

"It was a victory and they're able to get supplies into the city.  Still can't use the airships though."

 

"With Dragon's in the sky," Slayer said, "airships are grounded."  His chocobo kept pace with the wagon.  "The main knights will be protecting the wards on the bridge.  If those go then..."  He spread his hands out, letting everyone mind play out to the wholesale slaughter that would take place.

 

"He berated me for just thinking of myself as just a healer," John said, his cheeks reddening.  He pull his hat down to hide the blush as some of the others chuckle.

 

"Just a healer my right eye," Axe said from the head of the group.  "I rather have just a healer if it means I'm going see the end of a battle."

 

Nightingale laugh, "Need to get you to do that more often, Kid."  The Seeker lean in close too John.  "My sisters and I have never done it with a Keeper before.  What to be our Nunh for tonight?"

 

John frown, looking up at her, realize at that moment her scent was heady in his nose.  His face turn even redder as the female lean in closer.  "I...I should...I mean write Howl...."

 

Nightingale sat back up, throwing her head back into laughter.  "Gods, the look on your face.  Whoever beds you is going to have a good laugh?"

 

"Ok, Kids.  That's enough picking on the new guy," Sam said.  He rod up beside the wagon, place a hand on the miqo'te shoulder.  He could feel the muscle tense under his fingers.  The ears laid low on his head and the tail wrap around his feet.  "She was just teasing, John."

 

'If not for my curse,' he thought, eyes scanning over the letter, 'I wouldn't mind someone getting a laugh.'  He search through his bag.  "Howl, wants me to keep writing to him."  He pulled out paper and quill and ink.

 

"Then why don't you do so, Eagle, and I'll finish up the story."

 

John frown.  "Why do you call me Eagle?"

 

"Because you wish to protect and the eagle has always been a guardian of my family," Blade said.  "You write and I'll tell you the story about how the eagle came to guard our family."

 

As he wrote, he listen to the tell of a young boy, just having learn his first weapon, setting out to try and find the siblings taken from him.  The eagle that he found, injury by the same bandits that had raided his village and taken his siblings.  As the story drone on, the hand slow more, and his head drop closer to his chest.

 

"'And why do you not fly at your enemy?' the Eagle asked.  The boy reply, 'I am just a boy and do not have graceful wings, like your.'  The eagle snorted at the boy's statement, 'I see your spirit and it is like mine.'  He lower himself to allow the boy to climb on.  'I shall be your wings then, young eagle until you remember how to...'"  A soft thud sounded and Blade look over to find John had fallen asleep again.  "If seems I'll have to finish the story for another time."  He frown at the shadows that stole across the miqo'te's face.  "What burden weights you so, Eagle, that you have given up the will to fly?"

 

Something heavy press down on him, grounding him into the inky darkness around him.  He try to speak, try to call out but nothing came from him.  'Kit' he call in his head and hear her respond.  He turn his head a little, and saw 'her'.  She was tiny and look hyur...except for the wings on her back.  Said wings were trap in that darkness as well, one small hand reaching out for something.

 

He turn his head, eyes widening as he realize what he was seeing.  A huge dragon standing in the distance and facing the monster was Warren and two dragons?  'No, no, get away,' he call out, fighting the hold but it only seem to tighten on him.  'Nnnnoooo!!!!"

 

"Nnnnoooo!!!!" John scream, jerking away as hands caught him.  It took him a moment to realize where he was at.  Blade was looking at him in concern, the rest of the unit also gather around the wagon.  "I'm ok...I'm ok," he said, trying to shake off the nightmare.

 

"Sure didn't sound ok, Kid."

 

"Nightmare...that all."  He wave them off.  "Probably too much talk about dragons."  He needed to finish up the letter before they left Black Brush station and make for home.

[Star Lin]

He fold the letter that he just finish writing the letter to Howl, taking a moment to go over what had taken place this last week.  Had it really been a week that his entire view point was turn on it's head.  From the large turn out at the Grindstone, meeting Titor in miqo'te form, and then Chachan needing help.  It was almost more then he could take in.

 

"Now, this, Kit," he said, running his hand through the 'fur' of Kit's back.  To get his head to even think of it as a gift after so long.  There was danger so it as well, just like with using his aether to heal.  That was something that he would need to know how far he could push himself.  The time limit he could stay in the 'Dreaming'.  So many questions and so little he didn't understand about it.  "I don't even know where to start.  It's aether base but why are emotion so tired to it?"

 

The important question was how to even bring the subject up to Titor.  Would the other even believe him.  He would also need to speak with Warren too.  If this could be used as a safer, kind of, way to deal with head trauma, permission from the person, if they were kind of awake.  Could it even be used on head trauma?  Something else he would have to speak with Titor about as well.

 

"So much to do and I still need to contact Cha and see how his brother is."  So much to do and it felt like he had little time to do it in.  And the Grindstone was only a couple of days away.  He had to see Titor now.  He sat Kit on the floor.  "Hope he doesn't mine an unexpect guest, Kit."

[Star Lin]

John slow in his movement, taking the time to cool down before coming to a complete stop.  Taking a deep breath, he slowly let it out before sheathing the blades.  He was calmer now that he ran through the exercises.  “Blade,” he said, turning to look at the hyur, bowing to the other.

 

Blade nods.  “You have improve,” he said.  “But you still worry.”

 

“I left without word to Warren about being call into Southern.”

 

“He will understand that it was an emergency call in.  He will understand that you didn’t have time to contact him.”  He put his own daggers away.  “You should also write your friend, let him know that you are alright as well.”

 

“I don’t think he wants me to write him back any more.”

 

“And what made you made think this?”

 

John turn away.  “He said that it almost like I didn’t want to write to him.  And he got mad when I told him that I’m just a healer.”  He point at himself.  “But I am a healer, it’s all I wanted to be.”

 

Blade look thoughtful at him.  “Wanted, but not now?”

 

“No, I want to be a healer…” he said, pacing the ground.  “He keeps saying that there is more that I can do but…I don’t what it is that I’m supposed to do.”  His ears laid flat, tail lashing in anger.  “I don’t know what he wants from me.  What is it that he seems to see in me that I’m not seeing?”  He began to pace.  “If I could just grab a hold of it, shake it lose from where ever it is hiding at.”

 

“He wants you to see your self-worth, just as you want him to see his own.”  He held his handout.  “Yes, you are a healer, but you are a scout too.  You must tell him that as well.”  He then pointed at the dagger.  “You have found a talent with the dagger, so much so that I’ve been thinking of taking you on as a student.”

 

John stop at stare at him, “You’re joking, right?”

 

“No.”  He fold his arms around.  “I will need to speak with my brother first as head of the family.”  A smile tug at his lips.  “You should also tell your friend what you have told me.  Perhaps he can give you a clue to what it is that he sees in you.”

 

“I can’t be your student,” John said, ears up in surprise.  “I’m not that good with weapons and I don’t want to hurt anyone.  I’m a healer not…” and trail off as Blade held up his hand.

 

“Did my word not take hold?” he asked.  “A weapon wielder will not hurt his opponent if he does not wish to.”  He ticked off the words on his fingers.  “Control, mind, heart.  You have the control of the blades, the mind to pull back the power, and the heart to not use a killing blow if need be.”  He nods to himself and draw his own daggers.  “It is time that we see it in full.  Come, Eagle, show me your talons.”  He came at John full force.

 

It was either long practice, the many nights watching the Grindstone fights, or an underlining instinct, John duck out of the path of the daggers.  His own hands closed on his daggers, bring them up to block the next blow that came at him, and catching the blades against his own.  “Shun what…” he began only to be thrown back and then rolling out of the way of the dagger that was thrown at him.

 

Sam watch the match from a distant, hand gripping the hilt of his sword.  He felt more then saw Axe come up beside of him.  “Blade not giving him any quarter.”

 

“Ah,” Axe said.  “Should we stop them?”

 

“No,” Sam said.  “Blade knows how far to go and John will try his best not to injury.”  He tried not to wince at the slice against John’s shoulder.  “He has to learn how to fight,” he said.  “But have Bandit ready just in case.”  He turn from the fight taking place.  “Once they are patch up, we’re pulling out and heading home.”

 

“Got it, Cap.”

 

John drop next to Safire, who was asleep himself, and lean against the Chocobo’s body.  Bandit had already taken care of the worst of the wounds, now he just wanted to sleep it off.  Yet, he still had to write to Howl, hoping the other wasn’t upset over not being written too.  Or worst, that John didn’t need his advice any more.  Pulling out paper, quill, and ink out, he tried to focus on the letter to Howl, hopefully before he fell asleep where he was sitting.

 

‘Dear Howl.  I’m sorry that I haven’t written to you in a while.  Things have been crazy since your last letter arrived.  I wasn’t able to help Warren with the last Grindstone, the Amalj’aa decided to try and summon Ifrit again.  Dagger unit has been helping to bolster the Flames in Southern Thanalan.’  He yawn before continuing, explaining how the unit had pack up without giving him a chance to let Warren know what was going on.  Telling Howl about daggers training with Blade, though he left out the actual fighting part.  Howl had enough to worry about and really it was only a few slices that he took and he hadn’t hurt Blade at all.

 

He rub at his eyes, he couldn’t go off to sleep yet.  He had to get this out, even if Howl might get mad at first.  He wanted him to know why he couldn’t see pass anything but a healer.  ‘Blade said that I should also talk to you.  Sam has place me in with the scout section of Dagger.  Yet that not the only thing Iwish to say.  I am a healer, please let me finish before you get mad.  I always wanted to be a healer, just like Tanya.  I never thought of trying to do anything else.  I don’t even know what I should be doing now.  I still want to heal but there is more that I can do.  I’m not sure what to do, how to go about it, and I’m scare to try and even reach of it.  To even reach for whatever it is I’m trying to find.  It like a part of me is stuck and I can’t seem to grab it and shake it lose.  I feel the same when you put yourself down that you must be feeling about when I do it to myself.  How do I follow my heart and also find that part of my soul, the potential to do more?’

 

John agree with Howl on the fact that Tanya, for all her love, had made mistakes, with this ability but she might have save him as well.  There was also Gogonji and trying not to think too much about what had happen in the other’s memories.  Something that reminded him too much of fever and nightmares.

 

He was almost finish, his head nodding forward even as he was signing his name at the end of it.  There in that one moment between waking and sleep, he wrote something that he probably wouldn’t have if he had been more aware.  ‘Of course I want you to keep writing Howl, I’ll always need you.  I wonder if Snow is right and I’m in love….’  His handdropping as ink mark down the paper.

 

Nightingale came by a few minutes later, shaking her head at the sleeping Keeper.  “Going to have a stiff neck sleeping like that.”   She eased him down so that his head rested better against soft feathers.  Picking up the letter, she giggled.  “In love, hm.  Well, better send this off for you.  Axe or Slayer will probably load you into the cart before you wake.”  Not knowing what she might cause problems for John, she seal the letter, and handed over to the postmoogle.  “Make sure that this Howl get it.”  The moogle nods and takes off.

[Star Lin]

John became more nervous as Sam kept staring at him.  "You went to Titor?"  John nods at the question.  "Because he sent you a letter to come by the house."  Another nod from John.  "And you talk to this Kiht'to about your aether ablities."  John nods again, ears falling flat against his head as he watch Sam walk pass him and to the door.  "AXE!"

 

"Yeah, Cap?"

 

"I want you to clear the hall.  If anyone comes close to the door you have permission to Tomahawk them."  Sam slam the door close.  "Sit Private."

 

"Sam why..."

 

"I SAID SIT, PRIVATE WATERSTRIKE."  Sam watch John drop to the floor and pinch the bridge of his nose.  "In a chair."  Calm, he needed to be calm.  He waited for the miqo'te was actually sitting in a chair.  "After everything I did to get you into the unit when you came to me about join the Flames, you go and do this."

 

John lower his head, curling in on himself.  "I just was trying to find a way to control this."

 

Sam stared at him.  'Control,' he thought, 'not get rid of but control.  What change this?'  He came around to sit on the edge of the table.  "I want you to start from the beginning about what change your mind."

 

"I didn't try to see how my c...how the side effect could be used in healing.  Not until Chachanji's brother.  So when I realize that those soulstones were dead I thought maybe that I could..." he said, telling Sam about what he did, how close he came to losing himself in the chaos of Gogonji's mind.  He glance at Sam's hands and the wood of the desk creaked from the pressure that was apply to it.  Jancis coming into the room right before he was thrown out of the Lalafell's mind.  To the letter that arrive from Titor invited him to 'his' home.  "I really thought that we were just going to speak about healing and aetheric studies that he has done himself.  But Titor wasn't well, which was strange since he seem fine when I meet with him and Sir Raimy for fishing."  He held out his hands, "Sir Kiht'to asked if there was anything that he could help with and it wasn't until after that, that I found out the letter was to recruit me..."

 

"That were I have to problem," Sam said.  "He recruited you, meaning that he had some idea about what you could do, healing wise.  But now that he knows, he can use you military as well."

 

"But heal for Dagger is military already so I don't get why you're upset about..."

 

"That it, you're seeing it from a healers point of view.  But I can see how you can be used, a spy, plucking memories and secrets from anyone head."  He could see the horror dawning on the miqo'te's face.

 

"But Titor's a healer as well.  He'll never make me do that.  Just like you won't make me do that."

 

"I won't because I have too much respect for you and too much fear of your father's fireball, let alone Tanya coming back from the grave just to be my head in."  He sigh, "Do you want to know why I've refused every patrol route for Northern Thanalan?  It's because we still have Garleans still at the Castrum in the area.  If it's an emergency, I would have been tying you down in Ul'dah."  He stood up, reaching over, and giving John a good shake.  "I will die before I let any Garlean get their hands on you."

 

"I...I can take care of my self..." he said.  He lower his head.  "But I can't just give this up.  I'm sure Tanya would agree with me."  He look up at Sam.  "This might be my chance to be normal."

 

'Normal is so over rated, little brother.'

 

The two stiffen, staring at each other before turning there head, and staring at the ghostly form of a red head, green eyes dancing in laughter, white robes flowing in a breeze they could not feel.

 

"Tanya!"

 

"Big Sister!"

[Star Lin]

John stare, blink, and stare some more before he finally moved from the chair.  He didn't even realize that he had reach out to touch her until his hand passed through her form.  He bow his head, fighting back tears.  'I know, John.  I want to hug you too but...'

 

"I miss you so much and you're here and I still."

 

"Tanya, why are you here?" Sam asked, looking for all the world like he too wanted to grab her into his are.  "Navigator knows, I want you in my arms as well but."

 

'Always to point, Love.'  She reach out, letting her aether push at John's chin, making his had lift up.  'I never wanted you to think that you were cursed, little brother.  By the gods that was the last thing I want for you, when you were so sick.'  She gave a sad smile.  'And if that healer, Fabrellet, ever shows up at Thal's table, I'm taking my staff and high flying him into the seventh level of hell.'  She place a hand over her heart.  'I've always been so very proud of you.  Even with my stupid wording, adding hurt on top of what Fabrellet did, you still lived.  You have so much courage and courage of the heart is a very rare trait.'

 

"I'm not courageous," he said, shaking his head.

 

'Yes, you are.'  She lean forward, placing a 'kiss' on his forehead.  'Even when you thought no one could love you, face my own death, you still reach out to people.  You didn't curl up and die but continue to face life.'  She pulled back.  'Please tell your friend, Thank you, for looking out of you.'  She tap his chest.  'Also, be honest with him and your own heart.  Let him know what you feel for him.  Even if he doesn't return your feelings, he will know that Warren and Sei are not to only ones that don't want him to disappear.'  She step back.  'I need to speak with Sam.'

 

"You're leaving again...this time for good."  He takes a deep breath.  "Please come say goodbye to me.  I...I didn't get the chance to when you..."  She nods and he 'wraps' his arms around her before leaving the pair alone.

 

"I had a feeling there was more to you coming back."  Sam came over to her, reaching up to 'touch' her face.  "What has made you leave Thal's side?"

 

She lean into his touch, bring her own hand to cover his.  "Something big is coming, a great change."  She looked at him.  "You must be prepare, Sam..."

 

"And does this prepare included Sara finally coming to get me?"

 

'I don't know.  The Future isn't set in stone but...'

 

Sam smile.  "But don't be surprise if she does come."  He kiss her.  "Don't be too upset if I fight tooth and nail."  He pull away from her.  "I miss you so much, love."

 

She gave a sad smile.  'I wouldn't expect any less from you and I miss you as well, love.'  She began to fade even more.  'I push how long I can stay but I want to say Goodbye to John.'

 

"Go on."

 

****

 

John was just finishing up the letter to Howl when he 'felt' her.  The aether closed around him in a hug.  Then some of the aether gather at his hand that held the quill.  "You want to write something?"  The hold tighten a bit before relaxing.  And John didn't fight when his aether encase hand dip the quill into ink.  He recognize the handwriting has his sister's reading as his sister wrote something to Howl.

 

'Thank you for being such a good friend to my brother.  I want you and Sei to know before I return to Thal's table.  As I said to John, Normal is overrated.  Something is coming, Ha'uruh Nunh, though if it's good or not is still unclear.  Please watch yourself.

 

Tanya Elisabeth Waterstrike'

 

He frown, not knowing who this Ha'uruh Nunh was.  "Is he a friend of Snow and Howl?" he asked.  Another squeeze and then the aether release his hand, fading.  "No," he call out, grabbing the aether and holding onto it.  "Please don't go yet."  He froze as her voice sang in his soul.

 

RV-Z1YwaOiw

 

Tears well up in John's eyes.  First one sob then another...until he let go, his hands covering his face.  "I promise, Tanya.  I will."  He raise his head, tears trailing down his face.  "Goodbye, Big Sister..."

 

'That is all I ask,' she whisper.  'Please keep dancing, no matter what.'  There was a kiss, 'Goodbye, Little Brother.'  And her aether slip away and he cry, allowing himself to finally let go and heal himself.

[Star Lin]

John look up as he heard his Mom's greeting.  "Samuel, dear.  What bring you by?"  Curious, he move out of the back of the clinic, smiling as Mimi as he heads to the front.  He step into the main office area, smiling at Sam.

 

"I just came by to let John know that the 2002 forms he's been filling out went throu..." Sam look up as John came out of the back.  "Well, you're transfer is official.  You'll work with Titor and his group from now on."

 

He nods, not quite sure how he felt about it.  He enjoy being in Sam unit but this was a chance that he couldn't pass up.  He slid his eyes over to his mother, who was frowning at the both of them.  "What do you mean that you're transferring?"

 

"Ah, Sir Titor wants me to join his unit," he said.  "It would give me a chance to improve my skill as a healer."  He didn't mention that Titor and Kiht'to had also offer to help with learning control over his other ability.  She would have only worried more.  "I know you might now see this as a good thing, Mom, but I'll also be able to help all of Eorzea, not just Ul'dah."

 

"I can't help but worry for you," Margret frown.  "And you tasking yourself at that Barbarian event.  You even still have circle under your eyes."

 

"Please, Mom, you promise not to say anything else about Sir Warren and what he does."  John pinch the bridge of his nose.  "If you would just come and meet him, talk with him, you'll understand why he does this."

 

"John is right.  What Warren does has probably save the life of many of the fighters that come to the event," Sam said.  "Even a couple of my own men said that it is just a more intense training session and ready healer for the more serious injuries that do occur."

 

"I still don't like it.  I had hope that you would take over the clinic when I finally pass on to join Thal."

 

"I hope that will not be for a long, long time, Mom."  He came over and place a kiss on her cheek.  "Do you need me for much longer?  Sir Kiht'to sent a letter about needing to do a physical on the members and I still have the form he sent to fill out as well."

 

She sigh, "No, it's been quiet today."  Margret still didn't look happy about what she was told.  "Just be careful.  I do not want you to be taken from us and then experimented on because they found out about your..."

 

He hides the wince with a stretch.  John was sure they would need to experiment to figure out how to control it.  "I'll see you for dinner tonight."  He step out of the clinic into hot air.  He sigh, before pulling Kit's book off the strap, waking Kit up.  "Come on, I want to see if I can catch Kiht'to about that physical that he wants."

 

Kit chatter at him, her emotion aether forming words in his own head.  'What about what Jancis spoke of?'

 

"I don't know.  How do I tell her that I miss remember that happen with Howl's memories?" John asked Kit.  "Why did you react with what happen with Howl but not with Gogonji?"

 

'No harm intended with Go,' she said.  'Harm intended with strange one in Howl's mind.'

 

"So that's why you attack but not with Gogonji."  It would be something he would need to speak with Titor and Kiht'to about.  He would also need to speak with Howl as well.  He was sure that questions would come up about what he would need to put down in the Physical form.  "Howl is a private person and I don't want to get him drag into anything.  I wonder if I could leave out certain bits without them wanting to question Howl."  He couldn't help but still worry about Howl reaction last night.  Perhaps taking his suggestion he told Jancis to draw Howl out.  "I need to find a quiet place to take him too, where he can talk to me or not."  He would also need to check with Warren, see if he could visit Sei and see how she was doing as well.

 

'We be there for him as he was for us.'

[Star Lin]

John's nose twitch as he rock the container gentle, eye the paper in the liquid, noticing the first of the image on it showing through.  After a moment, he very slowly pull the paper with the image from the liquid.  The dark room wasn't truly dark, a red tint from the crystal that sat in the fixture at the door.  It was one of the few lights that he had learn, from trail and error, would not to the treated paper black.  He turn away from the set of trays, hanging the newly reveal image, Warren and Judge facing each other across the sand in front of the stone.  He wish that Howl could have been there for the match as well.

 

He sigh, hanging the picture with the others that were drying.  So much these last couple of weeks, from Mimi sickness and pulling double duty at the clinic, to Jancis suggestion with meditation, Howl finally voicing the fear he felt; villian from Howl's and Sei past that may have been awaken by his ability, and the reveal that Judge was Au Ra.

 

"I can't let Howl face 'him' alone."

 

'He will not,' Kit's 'voice' sounded in his head.  'We face him together.'

 

"I'm not sure I'm strong enough."  He pick up the crystal and slip out the door into another smaller dark room.  He sat the crystal in a holder, locking the first door, and then exiting out the second.  "It had been far to close, when I first face him."

 

'Will not face him alone,' she said, resting on John's bed.

 

"Howl and Sei are fine.  They both now know that what he told them was lies."  He ran his hand through Kit's 'fur'.  "I need to know how this work," he said, looking down at his hand.  "I would have spoken with Titor the night before but with the party and..."  He trail off, glancing out the window.  "Hope they understand why I didn't stay long at the party."

 

'One less person to keep track of, say Hello too, play nice too.'  Kit hop off the bed, heading for the door.  'Come,' she said.  'Leave stuffy room, fresh air.  Speak with Jancis, speak with Titor, speak with Howl.  No hiding.'

 

John shook his head.  "You're planning something, Kit."  She just look at him, innocent the only emotion playing through her aether.  And like any good partner, he follow her out the door.

[Star Lin]

John sigh, turning the knob on the door to his parent's apartment.  "I'm home..." he call out, stepping into the room.  "Sorry I'm late."

 

"It's alright, Son," Thomas said, setting the cup down.  "You're mother is just finishing break..." John saw his dad's eyes widen and come to his feet.  "I warn you not to try and deal with void magic."

 

"What?" John said, taken back a bit, until he remember what had happen at the Runestone last night.  "No, no." he said, raising his hands up in front of him.  "It wasn't me..."

 

Thomas was already in front of his son, catching hold of John's shoulders and eye the young miqo'te.  The anger soon faded, changing to fear.  "Then who attack you....and using such dangerous magic from the void."

 

John could see his Mom standing in the doorway, staring in horror at what she had heard.  "No," he said, shaking his head.  "I was at the Runestone last night and I was a little too close when Sir Lo...I mean one of the combatants used a void spell under another combatants feet.  But Sir To...but he was able to avoid it but the void kind of wash over me and..."

 

"I'm calling the Blades...they will stop it and arrest everyone involve..." his mom said, already reaching for the pearl.

 

John duck out from under his dad's hands, and catching his mom's hand before she could place the pearl at her ear.  "Please don't, Mom.  They both knew what they were doing.  And it was my own fault for being so close..."

 

"Even if you were at fault, John, they shouldn't be using void magic anyway.  It's bad enough that I have heard rumors of Black magic being used." Thomas said.

 

"Sir Reiner said that far too many have view the more destructive magic as black and white...forgetting the grey areas of magic."  John lower his head.  "Please don't get Sir Reiner in trouble."

 

Margret frown at her son.  "John, you don't understand.  Those magic are outlaw for a reason."

 

"They won't do a thing about it.  They haven't done anything for a long while..."

 

"What do you mean they won't do anything about it?"

 

"I overheard Warren talking the other night at the Grindstone..." he said, keeping his head down.  "About how there's never any city guards there, making sure that the combatants don't get out of control, how no one has come to try and collect taxes for operating the event."  He let go of his mom's hand.  "I notice the same thing with Runestone...not one city guard, Brave, or Blade was there, trying to arrest anyone."  He look up at his parents, "Sir Franz was even surprise on the fact that no one was trying to stop any of them."  He was afraid that if either of his parents push it...whoever was making sure that any of the Fighting events were keep going on...they might come after them.

 

"Please, Warren knows there's something going on.  Trust him to handle it... just like I know Sir Reiner understand what's going on."

 

"I don't like this, John..." Thomas said.  "But if this happens again..."

 

"I'll keep well away from the combatants, when I'm watching," he said.  He didn't really lie, since I if he did try to participate, he would be a combatant himself.  He smile even as his Dad eye him knowingly and his mom went back to the kitchen, muttering about how Ul'dah was falling apart.

[Star Lin]

John sigh, slipping into the inn room.  It had been an interesting night.  "You seem to enjoy Suzume's company," he said, smiling as Kit vanish in a flicker of light.  He place his hand on her book, feeling her aether settling into rest.

 

'Aether is sweet...yours is strong, her's is strong but different.'

 

"Everyone's is different Kit."  He thought for a moment.  "What of Khyran?"

 

'Very sad...hurting?'  From the sound of it, she was unsure of reading the hyur right.  'Like you...before Warren, before Howl, before Snow, before Cha...before...'

 

He laugh, "Before I meet my dear friends."  The laugh died off and he spelt his fingers together.  "Perhaps his ability was view the same as I had...how I still kind of do."

 

'John...'

 

"Not as a curse now but there are risk to every style of magic and every aetheric ability," he said.  "And I realize that with these that there is a burden that weights heavily on us."

 

'Yes,' Kit said in agreement.  'You wish to speak with him again.'

 

"Yes."  He nods even if Kit can't 'see' it.  "I'm a healer, maybe a wannabe blade master..." and shakes his head at that fancy dream that was sure not to come true, "but Healer foremost.  If he is tending to the sick on Pearl Lane, then I'm sure we will run into him again."  He crawl into bed.  "Rest well, Kit."

 

'You as well.'  John settle into sleep, not knowing what was to come the next day or how his 'Dreaming' would be used for a different purpose beside Healing.

[Star Lin]

He manage to get far enough away from the Grindstone before he ran, the words he had said to his friend, no to Sir Howl, ringing in his head.  'Stop being an idiot.'  In that one moment of anger...that Howl would never let him try to heal him.  It was all because of the way he heal, using his own aether to help others in there time of need.  Why couldn't any of them understand?  WHY?

 

His tears blind him as he pass through the gate, bumping into several people, and turning to head for the Quicksand.  A dark blue robe, a flash of pain across his left arm, and he stumbles forward.  He brought his hand up, healing...or try to heal.  The moment he try to apply aether to it, the place burn cold, and when he drew his glove back, there was no blood.  'John,' Kit whisper in his head.

 

"I don't know what happen," he whisper to her.  It just burn but in a very cold manner.  He look around but whoever he had run into was long gone.  "Come on, Kit," he said.  He need to check the wound before he try to figure out a different way to heal.  Once the pair was in the room, he remove the robe he had on.  "It seems like it's heal."  The slash was shallow, red with strange coldness to it.  It almost reminds him of that void spell that had wash over him at the Runestone the week before.  "What do you see, Kit?" h ask.

 

'Dark line,' she said.  'Don't like.'  She crawl up on the bed next to him.  'John,' came her worry thought.

 

John blink as a wave of exhaustion wash over him.  "Kit," he began, only to fall backward across the bed.

 

****

 

John found himself in his parents' bed, ten years old again.  He shiver with chills, even with the pile of blankets around and on his body.  'No,' he whisper in his head, terror crawling up from the pit of his stomach, 'please not this.  Anything but this.'

 

He could hear the footsteps coming to the door.  "Don't worry," the voice said, dark and sinister to his ears, "I see to 'it' for you Madam Waterstrike."  The door open to reveal the elezen standing in the doorway, blocking out the light.  Something dark glitter in his hand.  The door shut behind him, deep blue robes draining what light had been in the room.  His eyes follows the elezen as he came around the bed.  "Now, let's see what we can do about you."

 

He wants to scream,  'Howl, someone, I don't want to remember this.  Please don't make me remember this.'  The elezen took his hand, and he was falling, watching 'him' beat the young woman, feeling the sick thrill the elezen got from it, claim that she was to be punish because that what the Elementals told him to do.  He tried to stop him.  He yell out, telling him to stop hurting her.  The vision was gone and he was staring up at the Elezen, watching the flash of fear, then the dark smile came across his face.

 

"You are a curse voidsent," he said.  "The Elementals said not to heal you that you should be sent back to the void."  No, no, Tanya told him he wasn't curse.  Howl said he wasn't curse.  But he remember what he had said to Howl...how he was far worst then 'him'.  He knew that Fabrellet would turn away and leave the room.  He would then tell his parents that he couldn't go against the elements and they couldn't come in.  The Elementals wanted him dead and he was going to die alone and then his sister would come in and... "But I'll make sure that you are sent back like you should have been all those years ago."

 

'What, no, this wasn't what happen.'  Fabrellet drew out a dark blade, pulling his hand back to bring in down in a arc at his heart.

 

"Where is he?  Where is my brother?"  His sister voice, outside the door.  She was here and Fabrellet, turn to glare at the door.

 

"Lady Waterstrike," Fabrellet voice said, also outside the door.  But if Fabrellet was outside then who was... "I can not do anything for him.  It is best that you didn't have to see the condition that he is now.  Remember him as he had bee..." the sound of wood meeting flesh.

 

"If my brother is dying, I will NOT let him dye alone."  The door is thrown open, flooding the room in light, "John..." came her voice as well as a loud chiming sound...

 

****

John shot up, clutching his burning arm, breathing heavily.  'What, was that about...'  The linkpearl chimed again and he reach for it, placing it into his ear.  "Yes," he said, hoping that his shaking voice would just be confused for being woke up.  Titor's voice came over the pearl, telling him that Raimy had been found.  "What do you need of me?"

 

Titor told him that his offense spell would be needed to back up the fighters were going to help with the mission.  "You 'saw' his condition," Titor said.  "Once you get him out, we'll need you to start healing him until we can get out ourselves."

 

"I..." John began, remember that he promise Warren and the others that he would find a way to heal without using his aether.  But there wasn't time to try and leave some new way to heal and he would never turn to the Elements...not after they call for his death.  'I know you'll never going to forgive me Howl,' he thought, 'but I have to do this.'  His voice is steady.  "I do whatever you need of me, Sir Titor."

 

'Even if it mean that I'm killing myself.  I sorry, Howl.'

[Star Lin]

John's head is bow, as Thomas's hands rest on his shoulders.  "Will Mom really be alright?" he whisper.

 

Thomas squeeze John's shoulder, not wanting his own doubts to color John.  "E-sumi saw to her himself.  The fluid in her left lung will make it hard for her to breath but he is confident that with the right spells and potions, she will make a full recovery."  He bow his own head.  "But it will still take time, and rest for her to heal completely from the infection in her lung."  Before he could say more, he look up to see Sam and Dagger unit, riding hard for Nald's gate.  "Samuel..." he called, watching the young man, as he dismounted before the chocobo came to a full stop.

 

Sam rush up to the pair.  "We rode hard once you call me," he said, looking worried.  "Is she..." he bagan, holding himself as John came up to rest his head against his shoulder.  He place a hand on John's shoulder, feeling the miqo'te shutter under his hand.

 

"E-sumi said that she will be fine..." Thomas said.  "Yet, I fear how bad it would have been if we had waited like she wanted."  He look hard at Sam, "I need you to do me a favor.  Take John away from Ul'dah for a few hours.  Reports from the Tonberry has been asking about Margret condition and I don't want to subject him to their question.  Not while he is still upset over..."

 

"She wouldn't let me heal her...just like Sir Howl won't let me heal him."  Another shuttering breath, "He hates me now...has every right to hate me after what I said to him."

 

Sam look confuse at Thomas.  "He and this Howl had a falling out...after they found out how he had really been healing.  They...exchanged words..."

 

"said he was being an idiot..."

 

"He's been stressing out himself trying to find a way to heal without using his aether or tying himself to the Elementals," Thomas finish, eying Sam.  Sam nods, handing the miqo'te over to Axe.  "I'll call you once the reporter leaves but I think he was planning on attending the Builder's celebration."

 

****

 

It was a couple of bells later once the group was away from Ul'dah.  "So want to tell us about your unit?" Bandit ask.  He frown when he saw Blade shake his head.  "What...can't help ifna I want to know about who stole our Kid away."  He turn to watch John fiddle with a small shard of crystal, copper wire had been wrap around it to form a little cage around it.  That in turn was hook to a chain of copper as well.  "What ya got there, Kid?"

 

John blink before slipping the Dream crystal necklace back around his neck.  "Something Raimy gave me...after we got him back."  He then began to tell the others about Raimy, from his first meeting with the elezen while fishing with him, Titor, and one other.  "After he gave me the crystal, he asked me to unlace his boots for him, though I wish he had turn around so it would have been easier to untie them.  Then he ask me to undo his belt because his knuckles where still mess up from the beating he took but when I went to do so he told me instead not to worry about it and he would just go on to bed like he was..." he blink as he found that the group had stop.  "Um, what's wrong?"

 

"He wanted you to remove his boots...and his belt?" Sam choke out.  John nods at the question.  "And you didn't see anything wrong with that?"

 

"Well, I was blushing over the fact that I had to help him but he was badly injury and I'm sure that he was probably grateful for the help...where are you going Sam?"

 

"I'm going to murder and Elezen," Sam reply, heading for Eastern Thanalan and a direct line to the Shroud.

 

"Cap....Cap, think about this," Bandit said, placing his chocobo in front of Sam's.  "He was probably just prank the Kid..."

 

"What he was doing was not a prank?"

 

Over on the side, John just watch in confusion.  He could see Slayer, Nightingale, and Blade doing rock, paper, and scissor.  A quiet sigh from Night, a smirk from Blade at Slayer who curse under his breath.  "Look at it as good practice when Liza gets old enough to date," Nightingale said, smirking as well.

 

John blink as he was drag over to a far corner away from the group, who was now working on calming Sam down or figuring out the best way to make a Raimy pincushion for their daggers.  He then began to fill him in on everything that Raimy could have probably done to him, if he had been of the mind to do so, and feeling bad at the raising look of horror that was crossing John's face.  "But...but Sir Raimy wouldn't do that....Gods, I'm not going to be able to show my face around him.  What must he think of me?"

 

"He probably thought he had someone that was eager as well until he realize that you had no idea on what was actually going on," Slayer said.  "If he had went beyond that point...I can use my lance on him just as readily as I can us it on a Dragon."  He glance up at the sun.  "Is not the Builder's Celebration suppose to start?"

 

"Oh no.  I still need to make that gift for Lady Jancis."

[Star Lin]

The clinic was quiet this afternoon, which was a good thing in Margret's opinion.  She let a smile grace her lips as she watch John going over the books that he had brought with him.  Kit had climb up onto his back trying to see what he was studying.  "John, what is it that has you so occupied."

 

"An idea Titor and the others gave to me.  I'll have to run it by Warren before the next Grindstone," John muttered.  He reach for another book, opening it to a section he had research before when it had been Howl...and shook his head.  'It has too work,' he thought.  "I afraid that doing it might slow down my ability to heal if I use it." he said.  'No, it won't help Howl and that blasted eye.  Warren is right, we'll have to wait until we can get into the library.'  Kit lean a little farther over his shoulder, placing her paw on a passage.  "No, I don't have the skill level to try that...but I'll note it down to show to Titor.  It might be something that he can add to his own search."

 

Curious now, Margret step away from the potions that she was organizing and came over to the books.  His mom's eyes widen at what she saw.  "John Waterstrike, what is the meaning of this?"

 

John had stood up reaching for another book.  "Research to heal without endangering my own aether," he said.  "There's going to be some instant where I might not be able to use this..."

 

"John what I'm reading here is you trying to become an aetheric vampire."

 

Kit hop down off his shoulder and settle onto her book.  She personally didn't see a problem with it since he used her aether to help heal.  "No, I'm not Mom," he said.  "I'll need only a small amount from the person I'm healing."  He points to a passage.  "I'm trying to determine the right amount of aether to draw out of the person...and how much of my own I can add to that..."

 

He pull another book out of a pile.  "Yet, there's going to be times that I might not have a choice in the matter about using my aether to heal, if the wound is far to serious to risk pulling some of their aether."  He flip to a page, listing crystals.  "If they're unconscious, I won't be able to ask their permission to do so.  I'll need to talk with dad about the best crystals to use..."

 

"Three crystal would be best.  One each to match your aetheric elements and one that isn't tie to an element," his mother said.  She found her son staring at her.  "Crystals can work as a storage for aether."  She look thoughtful.  "I just worry that it's a temporary fix.  John at least try to seek the Elementals..."

 

"I will not ask for 'their' help.  I rather die than go to them for their help."  He was shaking from rage, not looking at his mom until he buried it again.  "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make..." and he found himself wrap in his Mom's arm.

 

"He's not part of the guild anymore.  He won't hurt anyone else anymore."

 

John hope she was right.  He hope that the nightmare was just that, a nightmare.  That Fabrellet was gone from everyone lives for good.  He pull away, looking back at the crystals in the book.  "Titor might have some that I could use but how to keep them on me."

 

'My book...replace stones with Crystals,' Kit said in his mind.

 

"Replace the stones...but that would hurt you, Kit."

 

'Won't hurt if I'm outside of book.  Add crystal...make stronger and better healer.'

 

"I'll speak with Titor about it the next time I see him."  He turn to his Mom and the miqo'te place a kiss on the hyurian's cheek.  "Thank you, Mom.  I promise not to worry you so much."

 

Margret gave John a small smile.  "We're your parents, John, I have every right to worry about you even if you're walking out of the house."