ShatteredSoldier

For Asyria, et al... That's true...but I guess what I'm trying to get across is that I see that happen more often than not in RP relationships. Again, because a lot of people can't separate themselves from the character they play. It's a fault that a great many people suffer from, though not everyone. This isn't to suggest that everyone falls prey to RP relationship emotional involvement. Not at all, in fact. But many people who do choose to engage in them aren't aware of all the potential side-effects and consequences of engaging in a relationship online, especially in an RP environment. Me personally? I just avoid the whole thing altogether because I don't want to get caught up in something that either 1. turns Fatal Attraction, or 2. puts me into a situation where I allow things to go too far. I have to keep control of myself, while the other person is responsible for themselves. That's the way I see it. It's a choice that many people don't weigh before they take the proverbial "plunge" as it were. It happens, despite what many people want to admit. Sure, people can do the same thing in bars, gyms, school, wherever. But in a situation where the person on the screen is all that represents the person sitting in front of the monitor, it's much easier to first separate yourself from the feelings, only to fall more and more into a feeling of togetherness, both with your character and the one that you're "in love" with. It's gradual in most cases, and people don't realize what's going on until it's much too late to avoid the repercussions. They're not the only two that I saw this happen with. I saw people God-Mode relationships, forcing other players to play a certain way because they had control and jealousy issues. It worked because the female in this particular scenario was emotionally compromised (suffering in a flailing relationship already) and probably wasn't in the right frame of mind to engage in a relationship in an MMO. Now, I know this girl and she's a very strong person now after all this has blown over, but emotional compromise (in many out-of-control cases) is what leads people to do things they might not do otherwise. Call it my perspective, but I've seen it go horribly wrong far more than I've seen it do anything worth RP'ing or engaging in as an outside party. I don't want you to get the impression that I think all RP relationships are ticking time bombs. I've seen a few that were remarkable, where it actually felt like two people in love, maybe with a "child" character RP'd by a third person, and it seemed like a real, loving, and deep relationship between two people. It caused a lot of RP moments, either between them as a "family" or with outside players. It can happen and does happen in some cases, but by and large, in my experience, it's a really bad idea. That being said, I'm not opposed to RP relationships, but again, I don't engage in them myself. --ShatteredSoldier

So I read the posts here and it never ceases to amaze me the number of different opinions on this topic. Thus, I toss my own into the fray. I have played MMO's for...*thinks* maybe ten years now? Started on Dark Age of Camelot, went through a library of others, ending up on World of Warcraft until recently. In all that time, I've learned a lot about RP, the way people define it, and what it can do to people, both immediately and over time. RP relationships, they can be cute, romantic, deep, insightful and meaningful, regardless of the OOC element. I've seen people who are married, RP a marriage with someone else, but both of them were completely comfortable with it (being swingers I suppose had something to do with it.) Others just made close friends with someone of the opposite sex and had a great time RP'ing their relationship. Sometimes, ultimately, said relationship turned into real life love and the two got together, got married, you know how the process works. In my experience, especially in World of Warcraft (not to put too fine a point on it,) most RP'ers, despite their level of "experience" with the RP community, can't truly define what a "healthy" RP relationship really entails. Do I know personally? No. But that being said, I've tried to do one and had little success because OOC, the two of us didn't really mesh. It was more a relationship of convenience, so she could get pregnant and begin an entirely new RP story on the Horde side. I wasn't keen on all of this and so it killed the RP. More often than not, I've seen RP relationships turn into brutally ugly real life scenes. Divorce, break ups, drama, extreme jealousy, it runs the gamut of bad juju that can make real life miserable. At one point, I even found myself in a real life love triangle that I didn't really realize was going on. My best friend introduced me to this girl he met through WoW. They had a pretty flirtatious relationship. After a few months of all of us, including a number of others, chatting over Ventrilo, she whispers me and tells me she's got the hots for me. Sure, okay. Uhh...sorry, but I'm married. Next thing I know, she's selling the same words to another guy who is so caught on the hook with her, he informs her that he's coming to meet her and propose to her. Mind you, they had BOTH been married all this time. He wasn't happy in his marriage, she was cheating on her husband (call it what you want, the emotional cheating is the same as the physical,) and the both of them made extremely poor choices...at least imho. See how this is spiraling out of control? Ultimately it does more harm than good unless you are completely aware of your feelings, the feelings of the other person, and the laundry list of potential consequences if one or the other, or both of you, aren't prepared for all possible outcomes of said RP relationship. Therefore, my choice, is that I don't engage in RP relationships. I typically play characters that are jaded for some reason, don't like to get involved, or some RP element makes it "safer" for them to remain distant from potential suitors. My two cents, and then some...