RElNHART

Just want to say I've bookmarked this post. Every time I start feeling loneliness creep in, I come back and read over your guys advice. It's keeping me focused on the things that do matter and I want to thank you guys for all the help.

She did for a bit when we were dating, then stopped for health reasons. Then picked up a new job when the break started.

Thanks for the talk guys. I'm going to give it some time and see if things improve.

That's what i want to think too, but she keeps saying stuff like everything's going to be ok between us eventually. But the way she acts says otherwise and it's driving me nuts.

She's done plenty of other forum based RP's. So this was her first one in an MMO. Anyways. Thanks everyone I'm gonna be busy for the rest of the day. I really wished I asked about this several months ago when the issue was fresh. I'll explain what's happened up until now sometime when I get back. I wanted to hear your thoughts on the situation on what I could have done differently, I'm sorry for the dishonesty on my part. I'll explain what's happened since then. I'm also partially to blame as well. I did some savage raiding with a different group of people, i felt too guilty to quit the raid group so I kept trying even though I stopped liking it. This in turn put a small rift between us since this ate a lot of my time and energy. coupled with job I hate. Encourages me to get a new job instead. Fast forward a bit: She meets new friend. They grow close, like sisters. Never thought anything of it. Little insecure about the amount of in game gifts that her new friend showers on them. In turn I also try gift showering IRL to win some attention. Finally get my act together, start new job, quit raid group. Girlfriend goes on vacation with her family. Calls me mid vacation saying she wants a break. (she wants to have some time to herself so she can focus on getting her own life together, full time job, savings etc. bsically be well off enough so she can take care of herself and others in her family) Reluctantly agree because what else can I really do? New job is ok. Kinda lonely now I don't have a raid group anymore. Girlfriend starts her married RP relationship with her friend about a week after we go on break, spending A LOT of time together. we both find out that her friend is a guy playing girl character. That point I'm incredibly insecure with everything. She insists that it's only in character and sees him as nothing more than just a friend out of game. I really wanted to be ok with the RP relationship but I feel like it was the absolute worst possible timing to do that. So everything is pretty ok on VOIP. but having just been put on break and having to see their two characters being all lovey dovey really felt like the knife twist in my heart. I felt discarded and jealous, especially now since we really didn't spend any time outside of game now. In turn I lashed out. She broke up with me. I frankly deserved it. The other guy left to play a different MMO. I feel really guilty about how I acted but I just wasn't ready to deal with that. At least I think I do. I don't know, I felt abandoned and I lashed out, To have that happen in such a short amount of time, I wasn't sure how I was supposed to take that. she cares about me a lot, after I fell into a really bad depression, (like seriously I broke down in a grocery store after 3 days trying to keep it together.) She recommended I see a therapist and even gave me the contact info for her old therapist. even offered to pay for it. so as it stands we're still on good terms. I'm actually going to lunch with her but I really want to get over this I just still feel really guilty about it. Edit: I do believe it's our goal to get back together eventually, we're both still focusing on financial stability independently at the moment.

This may sound like a strange question, but I do have reasons behind it. Is your "SO IRL" someone who is an online relationship you've had for a while now, or someone you live with/see daily/weekly? I think this makes a huge difference. In past experiences I've seen online relationships get tossed to the side in lieu of other friendships simply because the person is so used to everything being online or interchangeable even. It could just be miscommunication between you two in regards to priorities. This bit about.. "It's gotten to a point where I can't do anything in game with just her anymore. Like I'm the one tagging along with them.", is really the only thing that makes me question any of it. I've spent endless hours with my RP partner(s) with nothing shady happening behind the scenes that my real life relationships haven't known about. Sometimes there's just a click and you really enjoy that time with them, because there are a lot of crazies in game. But if YOU are feeling like the third wheel, then yeah you need to say something to her ASAP. Because unless you are being super sensitive, demanding of her time or controlling (which you don't seem to be from what you've said), there's never a reason she should be putting her feelings about someone in a game, over yours. Just chat her up about all this, and you'll feel much better. :thumbsup: We're been dating for 6 years. I see her pretty often, bout a 10 min drive from my house. but she's been playing ffxiv a lot more recently and I've been having trouble directing her attention away from it. So I sit there pretending like everything is ok. Sometimes I nap, sometimes we'll catch up on some youtube videos. Want her to play something else with me when I'm over there because I don't want to have to bring my pc tower every time I want to visit so we can play 14.

Thanks guys, I'll try talking to her about it. I'm just hoping that we'll be able to have some alone time playing the game for a bit.

"Are you uncomfortable with how much time she's spending RPing with this person? Does she RP with them a lot? Did they get really close in a short amount of time and their OOC interactions are making you uncomfortable? Do you know the RP partner and does he talk to you?" A bit of all the above. the out of character interactions aren't at all like they are in game, We've all been on a VOIP at the same time. The other person seems like a good guy and is respectful. No ERP either. I've just been having difficulty with them because I feel like I'm the third wheel when she's my girlfriend. It's gotten to a point where I can't do anything in game with just her anymore. Like I'm the one tagging along with them. The character interactions wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't feel like I'm just along for the ride. So I guess I am having insecurities and haven't thought of a proper way to deal with it without angering the two of them. I really don't want to be that guy and ruin something harmless but at the same time I don't want to play by myself anymore.

Hello guys I wanted to throw a question out here. I've been having some issues to deal with lately and it's been incredibly stressful dealing with this sort of thing. I wanted to ask that if your SO IRL has an RP relationship in game with someone else (platonic, the two characters are married), at which point would it feel like the rp relationship is getting in the way of their real one? I'm open to answer questions as well.