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Derrick's Thoughts

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((For starters, info in this 'journal' will not be used IC. And Gerik's idea, so he deserves the credit. He's awesome. ))


It's been a while since I've taken the time to even think about writing the events of my life in a journal. Well, I haven't really wanted to express if I feel bad to anyone, since I am looked at most of the time as the "optimistic" one of just about any group I'm in, if I'm in a group that is. I'll let this be known now. I'm not going to drop every emotion into this... But I will say what I won't say out loud...


My years in Ul'dah, I've seen her before, but not like this. A mother tending to her children. Reminds me so much of my mother before I left home, when I was a kid. I remember how should would feed us, fix the scrapes on our legs, cheered us on as we did what we loved, and tuck us up in bed at night. I've seen a father like mine. The kind that supports his children, but keeps them in check. Shows them the right from the wrong, the good from the bad. How to be strong when everything makes you weak, how to fight and stand for what you believe after you've been told that you're only going to fall and fail your mission. I've seen children that remind me of myself as a little boy, a bit stubborn at times, but got the message. Learning simple things that couldn't be taught by no one else other than the parents. Being taught lessons the teacher can't teach. Being loved like no one else can love you. The warm embrace of a hug that you know is only to tell you good night.


It's been 5 years since I got the news that my parents were killed, and I've gotten over it all. Pain of losing them, the disappointment of not finding the damn pirates that killed them, the excessive drinking to ease the unexpected pain that hit hard when I realized that I really couldn't do anything about, not even get my revenge. I've even tried hard to cover up my emotions around my bother and sister about their deaths, but they see right through me. If I'm not mistaken... today might be the day, if not the day I received the news.


To think, that their death is the thing that keeps me fighting, taking jobs more dangerous than the last. My attempts at armorcraft and alchemy have reduced to almost nothing because of the thought of my parents and my burning vengeance that has come back to haunt me again. And it's amazing that the time drinking with a few friends of mine have brought these memories back. I should look to another way to take my mind off things. Seems to make me think a hell of a lot more...

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  • 2 weeks later...

(( Umm... I just got bored and thought about what Derrick would do if he got into some real conflict with someone.))


I'm not the type of guy that lets anything slide. I feel that consequences should be brought to those good and bad. That's how the world works anyway, so no one should have exceptions. I've been taught to treat others with respect. I've learned from how I grew up, the person I've become, that I was too kind and hesitant to assist strangers. That was until I came to live in Ul'dah. I examined myself well and wanted to be stronger, mentally and physically. I wanted to stand over the ogres that terrorized certain parts of the world. I wanted to show everyone, especially myself, that I wasn't someone weakling that just took every punch and did nothing. I wanted to punch back, a few more than received. That's why I picked up my first fighting knuckles, got my hands on a few pairs of claws, and took the random jobs that only made me more experienced. And to have some more gil in my pockets.


The job I took today was something unusual for me. A team was needed for this particular job near the edge of La Noscea. I've worked with teams before but never as difficult as the one I had to deal with today. A somewhat master of black magic and a wielder of an ax as the "leaders" of this team we're complete pains in the arse. I had a mind to leave a few marks on their faces with my steel claws. The way tried to order the rest of around was throwing me off and getting me closer to the point where I wouldn't be the optimistic free spirit I'm normally found to be.


As we basically got to our limits of damage and hits taken from the notorious monsters until that very moment when I couldn't hold on to my frustration anymore.


"Could you not stand around and help us?!" the black mage ordered to the white mage that was clearly out of her element. "I refuse to work with cringing-"


"You need to calm down," I raised my voice. "This is a team effort. We won't be able to defeat these monsters if we don't stick together."


"He's right," the warrior agreed with the black mage. "She needs to suck if up and do her job."


"I don't have to do anything you tell me!" the white mage told the warrior.


"I'm in charge here! So you're under my command now!"


"The hell you are!" I shouted at the warrior. "We're a team! So far since you decided to take the lead, we all might as well have been damned!" I coughed and spit up a bit of blood from the last blow we all had received at the same time. "And I'm not going to take any orders from someone that can't even do their job correctly! So, unless you want me to do way more damage to your face than this monster has done already, I'd advise you to stay in your place and keep that damned beast's attention and make him eat that metal, before you taste mine! You too, black magic 'master'."


The area where we were was silent aside from the crackling of the lava still burning from beast a little ways away from us, just waiting for us to make another movement. Our bard and dragoon had a look of surprise on their face as if I had just killed the beast with my bare hands, along wit the white mage. They all looked at the other two after I made eye contact with them, my face still frowned from my obvious anger. I took slow breath, finally relieved that I had told them off from their failed attempts at trying to subdue the monster standing before us.


"Yeah!" the bard added after a minute of silence from all of us.


"Thanks for that..." I added.


"Kind of a late reaction if you ask me," the dragoon said.


"It's fine. Now, can we try to finish this job with success together?" I asked the group.


Everyone nodded, even though the two I told off were a bit reluctant to do so.


I don't like to be forceful like I was today, but sometimes that's what it takes to make someone listen and get your point across. I'm not a mean person, but don't mistaken me for someone willing to be trampled on...

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  • 2 weeks later...

((Well, sad to say but I'm not going to be on for 2 or 3 months. So with that this is the story I bring you all. Hopefully, I'm back before 2.0 lunches. ))


I'm surprised that I'm able to write anything in my condition. I can't go into deep detail about what happened... At least I don't think I can... I'm sure, regardless if I can or not, I don't think that it would be wise to document any event regarding my new association with a group of... kindhearted, well mannered, fellow adventurers that I have been acquainted with. Anyway, the point is, while taking on a mission that involved a dangerous beast I didn't know about until I saw it, I was injured pretty badly with a gash in my arm. I didn't know about the injury until a while after that battle, and didn't think that it was to serious. Since I didn't know how long it would be until I could get it checked out, I decided to wrap my arm with the dirty sleeve of my gear. When I did get it checked out, apparently it was infected, twice. First was a type of venom that was lethal if not treated after a few days, and the second was from my dirty sleeve. I didn't find out about the infections until I was visited by an alchemist and a thaumaturge after waking up, drenched in sweat as I had nightmares about everything melting and being set on fire, trying to escape with my life intact. What made matters worse was that my sister, Detany, decided to show up at the worst of times.


"My Twelve! What happened to you?" she asked as she walked in the door. I should have never gave her permission to walk in just about whenever.


"Why are you here?" I asked her.


"I haven't heard from you in a few days, so answer my question," she told me.


"You are not my mother in case you've forgotten. And I'm not telling you."


"Why not?"


"I don't need to tell you every event in my life."


"Who did this to you?"


"Who said it was a person?" I mumbled to myself.


"Mr. Rickkon, we have been able to get samples of the venom to make a remedy to treat it," the alchemist announced.


"Venom? A monster did this to you?!"


"Why in Eorzea would you tell me that while she is panicking over this?" I asked.


"We're doing our job," the alchemist reminded.


"Yeah, yeah."


"And we're just about finished," he added just before pouring a liquid over my wound, making me yell in pain. "Now, we're done."


"You could have given me a warning before making me feel worse for the moment, dirty ewe."


"What were you doing for this to happen to you?" Detany asked.


"I'm not telling you."


"I'm going to close the wound, so brace yourself. This is going to burn," the thaumaturge told me.


Luckily the fire didn't hurt as bad as a liquid dripping into my flesh. I was feeling a bit worse than I was before they came. I had never felt this terrible in my life.


"You may feel a bit more sick than before, but after a while you should feel better," the alchemist told me.


"When you say a while-"


"I'll say about a month or so."


"A month?"


"Or longer, it all depends on if you decide to stay in bed and rest or go out fighting peiste that you have no business fighting. If you continue to resist your rest, you might get worse, and we don't want that do we?"


"No!" Detany blurted out. "Sorry..."


"Thank you two for your help," I told them.


"It was a pleasure, Mr. Rickkon. Please get your rest. We'll be back, but the more rest you get the faster you will feel better. Remember that."


"I will," Detany and I told them.


"And I will make sure that he gets all the rest he needs," she added.


I only glared at her before getting the urge to puke from the medicine I was given. I knew that with my sister being here in my condition, she was only going to annoy me more than when we were kids. The next month or so was going to be hell in my own home. So much for trying to make more for myself...

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