LONGNECKED CROOKS DO BATTLE WITH MASKED EXHIBITIONIST IN STREETS OF UL'DAH

[Flashhelix]

LONGNECKED CROOKS DO BATTLE WITH MASKED EXHBITIONIST IN STREETS OF UL'DAH (AND OTHER STREETS TOO)

 

by G.A. Beanscuff

 

There is but one question that rings through the hearts of the inhabitants of most Eorzean city-states. Are our streets safe? Are we safe?

 

The answer may shock you.

 

Last night, a select few residents of Ul'Dah reported witnessing what appeared to be a street brawl between a strange man described as a "sex weirdo" dressed in ill-fitting partywear and a novelty mask, and a "longneck mugger" armed with a pistol, transpired near the Chamber of Rule. Apparently, the assailant had "shot a guy in the [expletive] face" according to eyewitnesses. This continued until the assailant rendezvoused with his comrades and the three reportedly teleported out with the alleged sex weirdo in tow.

 

Strangely, around the same time there were similar reports of strife between sex weirdos and criminal elezen elsewhere, namely Limsa Lominsa, but these are yet to be confirmed.

[Capheira]

The dawn of a new sun brought with it the morning paper. Having spent the eve in the city of Ul'Dah following the festivities of the multi-free company Black and White Ball, Odette had long since shed the second skin that was borrowed extravagance of feather, leather and silk, and meandered about the open lounge of the residence she had retired to in little more than recently adorned underclothes. Delivered paper in hand, ocean depths of an aquamarine gaze danced their way over the pressed pages of written news.

 

"Who t'hells writes this stuff. . ." muttered the shapely blonde with a small pinch of her brows that knitted bronzed forehead at it's center, slender fingers of her opposite hand flicking once against the current page with a twack. "Anyone who would believe t'streets are anything close to resembling 'safe' is woefully mistaken and blissfully ignorant." Shaking her head slowly caused golden strands of hair to cascade down the scape of sunkissed shoulders as azure hues continued down the page with the articles continuation of printed lines.

 

Silence resonated from she with consideration for the article and it's somewhat thought-provoking lead, though said silence was soon cut by the snort of amusement that sounded from the tip of freckled, feminine nose. "Sex weirdo. . ." she mouthed the words as she read them with a slight roll of her eyes. Lifting her naturally earthy voice to carry to the next room, Odette tossed the paper aside where it crumpled upon the varnished surface of a nearby table. "There's so many, I wonder which one?" she called out in light-hearted jest, reaching for a slice of freshly cut fruit that had been laid out for the visit. "I hope Rufus made it back safely."

 

Even still, story dismissed and bemusedly passed over, ocean-hues stole a sidelong glance in the direction of discarded material with a small, lingering frown. Such instances never bode well.