Don't Stab the Posthyur

[Kellach Woods]

After spending hours under the desert sun, Kellach understood why the Postmoogle hastily foisted this assignment onto him. Sure, he'd noticed that he didn't exactly burn as much as, say, his boyfriend, but that did not make the desert heat less tolerable, or his Posthyur uniform more suited to the temperature.

 

He knew the person he was supposed to deliver this package to was on the coast of Western Thanalan, in a settlement. When asked which one, the Postmoogle simply yelled "You'll figure it out, kupo! How many can there be?"

 

Turns out, there are at least four, five if you count Horizon since it is not on the coast.

 

Kellach immediately scratched Cape Westwind off his list - No Garlean-born would know of the Moogle Delivery System that arose after the fall of Dalamud... unless they were actually from Eorzea, and were hiding there. Still, he'd cross that bridge if and only if it came to that. This left Crescent Cove, Vesper Bay and the Silver Bazaar. Any of the three would be a possibility, and Horizon being the primary checkpoint for goods shipped into Ul'dah, it could very well be a possibility. Still, off to Horizon he went, in the hopes that his intuition was correct, and he'd be in the least likely place.

 

Horizon, as always, was a bustling checkpoint - Merchants selling to travelers, travelers getting their goods inspected. It's only natural that such a bustling area would at least have an inkling as to where someone could be found. Any of the travelers or merchants would be too busy, and he'd heard nothing but goodness from the Brass Blades here - the reputation carried by the Brass Blades of the Rose did not limit itself to Thanalan.

 

"I'm looking for a certain... Dadaluma Jajaluma? I have a package for him, courtesy of the Moogle Delivery Service. Yes I am not a Moogle. No I am not insane or anything of the sort." clearly he'd seen this before.

 

The cap looked real enough, the uniform... well, the Brass Blade never saw a moogle wear a uniform, but that was definitely a Moogle cap. Also, who would be dumb enough to ask a Brass Blade about the last known whereabouts of an infamous forger, much less admitting to be collaborating with him under the least subtle ruse of all time. Still, they were so busy, and if that nincompoop, crazed individual, Postmoogle Deputy could find the conniving Dunesfolk, then that'd be far less work for them. They'd just need to swoop in for the arrest!

 

"Oh, hm... Well, he's a bit infamous around these parts, I'd stay clear of him, but you've your duty as I've mine. I'd check in Vesper Bay." said the helpful Lalafell. With a thanks, Kellach immediately made for Vesper Bay, not noticing the clanking of armor that headed in his direction.

 

In Vesper Bay, he could feel the breeze of the ocean - It was certainly a much better place to stand around in an uniform not made for the heat. More travelers, slightly less merchants, and actual citizens. Perhaps asking one of those passerbys would yield information. If he was as infamous as the Brass Blade said, they'd surely know of him.

 

Two hours later, all he knew is that infamy within the local militia meant nothing more than aldgoat droppings when it came to civilians. He resolved to ask yet another Brass Blade. This one was far less cordial, until it saw something behind Kellach, and immediately changed his disposition. The runaround had been given, and the infamous Dadaluma Jajaluma had been recently sighted in the Silver Bazaar.

 

Chartering a boat (read - a canoe with a makeshift sail), he made for the Silver Bazaar. He set off the boat on the cusp of dusk, sighing all the while. He was sure that anyone who'd want this package would be in the Silver Bazaar. Unfortunately for him, well, the Silver Bazaar remains the place where dreams go to die. The closest thing to silver was the dust upon the crates of products. Blowing some dust away, he coughed, and saw something strange - They'd all had "Dadaluma" painted on them in crude letters. Finally, a clue! Knocking on the walls of the hovel to signify entrance, he started with declaring that he had brought a package for Dadaluma Jajaluma, confident that he had finally found him.

 

Instead, he had an irate merchant throw a jug of wine at him, shattering the clay onto the wall. Inebriation made for poor aim. The merchant muttered something about Crescent cove, and off he went to another leg of his journey.

 

It was night when he finally arrived at Crescent Cove - a haven for the poor and the criminally minded. A fitting place for a forger, but as Kellach had yet to learn this fact about the man, he just saw that maybe the Dunesfolk fell on some hard times. Surely a parcel delivered in the most Moogle way would cheer him up!

 

Hearing a spat, and the name of his destination, he opened the door and with the cheeriest smile, brought forth the package.

 

"Package for Dadaluma Jajaluma, kupo!"

 

He did not like saying the Kupo. No matter how genuine he tried to make it sound, it would always be wrong when coming from the mouth of anything that isn't a tiny furry creature with wings and a pom.

 

The two men turned around at the strange sight of a black-skinned hyur pretending he was a moogle with an actual package. Their looks of confusion turned to fright when the Brass Blades followed with a surprise attack, arresting the two criminals... and the confused Posthyur as an accessory to forgery.

 

Plead as he might, they did not believe his story one single bit. This wasn't Kellach's first time being under scrutiny over a complete misunderstanding. However, those were usually easily dealt with. Anything he would want to do at this point would be highly illegal, and possibly felonious - Neither thing he really wanted to do.

 

"Stop it, he's not part of them," one of the militia said. The very same Brass Blade of the Rose that sent him on this wild goose chase to begin with. "He's free to go."

 

"But boss, we're getting a nice bonus for any accomplices to the forgery ring!"

 

"And what are the penalties for arresting a honest man, albeit completely off his rocker? I've just got a missive that this'd been planned by a Brass Blade unit in Ul'dah. They figured the package'd find its way to Dadaluma, and the package itself had some of that aether-viewing powder they'd developed yon over Mor Dhona. The plan was to get the powder on some of the forgeries, have the proof, then storm the Cove, but when one of their agents saw the package in the hands of this... uh, Posthyur, they winged the sting immediately."

 

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kellach asked if he would be required to testify or anything of the sort. Considering he didn't know anything, and that the Brass Blade just took him for an overenthusiastic moron, he was finally free to go.

 

It is never a dull day, being a Posthyur.