RP Backstory Feedback!

[GilbertBlythe]

Hello all! I'm new here (and to FFXIV), and am looking to get some feedback on my character's backstory. I'm particularly concerned about alignment with the lore (since I didn't play 1.0, though I have done my research), and would appreciate a shoutout if there are any glaring inconsistencies or impossibilities. Any style feedback is also welcomed!

 

I've posted my character bio here for convenience:

 

A native of Gridania, I never fought as a warrior of light, and had only just joined the woodwailers as a new lancer when I was captured by a Garlean scouting patrol near Hawthorne. Some time before the Cataclysm a number of 'expendable' prisoners of war, including myself, were sent back to the Garlean homeland to test a new magitek mind probe technology. The testing left my left eye and scalp strangely discolored, but gifted me with a slightly increased affinity for magic in general. I also received a tattoo on my left cheek during my internment, marking me as a magtiek test subject. 

 

After the debacle with Dalamud, and political fallout in Garlemald proper, many Eorzean prisoners such as myself were quietly released and relocated to the outer reaches of the empire. Upon being shipped out to the imperial holdings in the East, I found passage with spice smugglers headed for Limsa Lominsa and began my trek back to Gridania. There I hope to join the Twin Adders, and ensure that the horrors I endured during the war never befall another Gridanian again!

 

I generally wear a full-face mask to hide my disfigurement, though my face tattoo and the white shock of hair on my left side are still quite visible. 

 

 

Unmasked:

 

[Fiona Swift]

Very interesting. It could actually lead to quite a few different scenarios and who knows what that mind probe technology could of done.

 

I am not too deeply versed in the 1.0 lore but I am sure what your back-story proposes is quite possible as Garlean surely took prisoners of war during the conflict.

[GilbertBlythe]

Very interesting.   It could actually lead to quite a few different scenarios and who knows what that mind probe technology could of done.  

 

I am not too deeply versed in the 1.0 lore but I am sure what your back-story proposes is quite possible as Garlean surely took prisoners of war during the conflict.

 

Ty! I still need to flesh it out and put in prose, but among other things I'm concerned whether or not there were any points in the lore mentioned treatment or prisoners, etc., that might conflict ;;