The Stigma

[ansemaru]

Ah, looks like people were way ahead of my suggestions on this one. Desire and/or necessity breeds innovation, or something like that.

 

Good to know for the future, I guess. My Free Company has held meetings in some of those spots, and I'm sure we've driven off our fair share of ERPers by doing so.

[Raeletta]

Never seen any myself, but I don't see anything at all wrong with it, assuming it's not in the middle of a city in open channels. and that's mainly because it's unrealistic, even for a game.   Out in the countryside somewhere, go for it. Could be interesting to stumble across.

 

Plus, sex is a part of life, why would you not RP it? I don't see the ick factor, but I don't really get bothered by all that much, only bored or interested.

 

[edit]

 

Plus, for my country, age of consent is 16, same as the games PEGI rating. The censoring idea isn't really applicable to me. (Though, I'd be interested to know if anatomy words are censored. First thing I did was nuke the filter, I hate them.)

[Lost River]

Great post.

 

For me, I personally don't care what people have done or do. Roleplay is roleplay to me, be it a deeply intrigued plot about unmasking the coffee cake thief to that of a tussle in the sheets with a twin just to find out it was their sister/brother instead! (okay to many soaps).

 

I personally don't mind either of the sort of RP, but never try to force either on people who don't want it. As well, the adult sort of roleplay should be kept in Party/Tell or such due to the game is T rated (borderline M due to it's content) and that sort of conduct isn't allowed publicly. It isn't like Second Life, for example, who has Adult Sims and such; in short, consenting adults, have a blast; just be mindful.

[Ildur]

Plus, sex is a part of life, why would you not RP it?

 

Going to the bathroom is also a part of life. Yet nobody roleplays that. Why? Because the specifics of going to the bathroom (or sex, for that matter) don't add anything to the story or your character.

I have personally never found any reason to have explicit sex scenes because whatever they would tell about the story or characters is always better conveyed by other means. But not everyone shares my findings (or lack of them).

 

As everyone and their grandma has said: if you are going to do something that has high chances of bothering people, you should keep it on a private channel.

[Naunet]

Plus, sex is a part of life, why would you not RP it?

 

Maybe because we feel that sex is a private thing, and we don't want to engage in it with people not our significant other, even if it's only in words?

 

ERP all ya want, but don't go judging the folk who decline as though they're not RPing to the fullest.

[Agarthane]

Oldschool RPer chiming in. I need to get away from holiday nonsense for a moment, and whats more sobering then a thread about the dreaded three letter word?

 

Part of the stigma is simply the general stigma against sexuality in general. Some people do not want to read anything resembling that, especially in an entertainment product that isn't rated Mature.

That's only a small piece of it, though.

 

The ERP stigma is born of an aversion to two types of parasites that most role playing communities would simply rather not have around. They are both quite destructive in their own way.

 

 

1. The Cyber-er (Forgive me, I'm terrible at making labels for things. )

 

This particular breed of miscreant isn't a Role Player at all. Rather this is an individual with little-to-no writing ability who seeks to use the graphical nature of the MMORPG to hide the fact. They have but one goal, to infiltrate role playing communities in their eternal quest for really bad cyber sex.

 

When players talk about ERP, most of the time they are thinking of these people.

The good news? They can never hide their true nature for very long. They usually can't write very well, even in the form of a one-liner and have a habit of making level 1 alts.

 

The bad news? The role playing community will nevertheless be blamed for their actions when they become too prolific on a particular server. A prime example of this would be the Moon guard server in World of Warcraft. A situation where there is legitimate strife between entire role playing communities because this type of ERPer was allowed to run amok.

 

You could be the best role player to ever type a descriptive paragraph and be a masterful weaver of tales... but if you just happened to make a character on Moon Guard, guess what. You suck. And you're a perverted scumbag swimming in a digital cesspool. 

 

Hm? What's that you say? You have no control over the ERPers in Goldshire and Blizzard refuses to listen to the year-long pleas from the *real* RP community to police the place? Ha! A likely story. We know how you Moon Guardians are. Keep your freaky bloodelf-catgirl-draenei-vampire sex away from Wrymrest Accord!

 

 

2. The Chameleon! (I'm horrible today, horrible. I blame holiday hangovers.)

 

These people are far more insidious because they usually *can* write and even impress with their descriptive prowess. They have little trouble fitting into the community and can be very good storytellers.

 

The problem? They are only interested in writing smut fiction.

 

The issue isn't so much that they engage in a little literary titillation behind imaginary closed doors, no. It's the sociopathic, single-mindedness with which they pursue this goal and the drama that results from it.

 

They will entangle themselves in well established groups and sow discord. They will draw your character into an intense relationship, only to disappear when they grow bored. They happily derail storylines and break apart relationships. If you're foolish enough to leave the door open, they will even bring their brand of manipulation to the realm of OOC.

 

This person is akin to the Mary Sue who is always, ALWAYS in danger. You know, the one who's always either being chased or stumbling into the tavern bleeding?

 

Both types are repellent for the same base reason. Role playing, GOOD role playing demands a level of give and take. It's a collaboration, a work in mutual storytelling. These people, on the other hand, are only out to take.

 

 

 

All that being said, there's something far more damaging then both of these groups put together, and that's everyone else's gross over-reaction to them. I have been accused of being an ERPer simply for having a character stand next-to another's while they were involved in open conversation.

 

Sexual escapades out in public is bad and against TOS just as it's against the law to have sex in a public park, but only in the realm of Role playing are people made to feel uncomfortable because their characters, who were in a relationship, shared a brief kiss in public. The witch-hunt mentality will ruin a community and sow mistrust faster than anything else.

 

So, in closing, the best advice I can give is really quite simple.

 

"Mind your own business."

[ArmachiA]

Plus, sex is a part of life, why would you not RP it?

Going to the bathroom is also a part of life. Yet nobody roleplays that. Why? Because the specifics of going to the bathroom (or sex, for that matter) don't add anything to the story or your character.

 

 

Now, I'm not a hardcore ERP-er, but I don't think that's true.

 

Roleplaying out a sex scene, depending on context, can add a lot to your character.

 

~ What if your character and the other character are together for the first time? How would they react to each other? How would each others quirks work in that kind of situation?

 

~ What if your character is a virgin? How would that play out? IT would be hard to fade-to-black that without a LOT of discussion on what that entailed because there are just a lot of logistics in losing something that important (I'm not saying it's impossible to FTB for that, I've done it, you just really need to communicate what you think happened and it actually could be easier to just rp the whole thing).

 

Those are just two off-hand. It's like violence. In a violent scene a character can learn a lot about themselves, but TOO MUCH violence loses meaning. Going out and killing people everyday, well you know how your character would reacte, you don't need to rp it all out. It's the same. Sex is part of the experience of your character if you want it to be, but doing it everyday - after you know how your character would react or - loses some of it's meaning.

 

I actually have had people RP the specifics of going to the bathroom when they were going to get knocked out or attacked or something in there. Context is everything!

 

It's weird how people say "But thats not important to your character." EVERYTHING can be important to your character.

 

I have roleplayed Armi baking cupcakes. Yup, just baking cupcakes. That... was the whole thing. She was with two friends and they just baked cupcakes. Sounds unimportant right? There was so much behind that, so much story in the background, that even BAKING CUPCAKES became an important character building experience.

 

Don't count out anything just because you don't agree with it.

[TheLastCandle]

Plus, sex is a part of life, why would you not RP it?

 

Going to the bathroom is also a part of life. Yet nobody roleplays that. Why? Because the specifics of going to the bathroom (or sex, for that matter) don't add anything to the story or your character.

 

*raises hand* As a halfling rogue on Neverwinter Nights, I roleplayed urinating on a recently-defeated giant lightning golem from the safety of a bridge overhead. It sizzled and zapped the nearby dwarf PC, and was hilarious, so I beg to differ. Joking aside, exploring those more intimate feelings can certainly add to the story of your character. That's difficult to do without at some point playing out such a scene.

 

By the way, am I wrong in interpreting the point of the OP being less about why people don't ERP and more about why those who do are looked down upon and instantly labeled as dirty little deviants (to paraphrase ) by some members of the community? Because the discussion seems to be more about the former, which I personally don't think is an issue.

[C'kayah Polaali]

Plus, sex is a part of life, why would you not RP it?

 

[sex] don't add anything to the story or your character.

Okay, now I'm personally a huge fan of the "keep it to /tell and /party" rule, but I've got to take exception to this*.

 

*Sorry for the overabundance of opera. I'm a huge opera buff, so my mind always goes there. I threw in Shakespeare for the rest of you.

[FreelanceWizard]

Roleplaying out a sex scene, depending on context, can add a lot to your character.

 

~ What if your character and the other character are together for the first time? How would they react to each other? How would each others quirks work in that kind of situation?

 

~ What if your character is a virgin? How would that play out? IT would be hard to fade-to-black that without a LOT of discussion on what that entailed because there are just a lot of logistics in losing something that important (I'm not saying it's impossible to FTB for that, I've done it, you just really need to communicate what you think happened and it actually could be easier to just rp the whole thing).

 

Quoted for truth. Even if you don't fully RP out such scenes, those are two examples of where some sort of RP around the event is going to provide character development. Whether that's an OOC glossing over of the key points, some IC pillow talk afterwards (which, I might add, tends to produce some very interesting RP even if the event itself is faded to black), or a fully, ah, "detailed" scene, these are two examples of story milestones that offer big opportunities for character development. It'd be a pity to squander them out of a dislike of ERP -- which is not to say that they require ERP, but that some discussion of the act itself is going to be necessary to reap the narrative benefits.

 

It is possible for a sex scene to develop a character. I do believe several authors, playwrights, screenwriters, and others would take issue with the claim that it can't.

[Raeletta]

 

Plus, sex is a part of life, why would you not RP it?

 

Going to the bathroom is also a part of life. Yet nobody roleplays that. Why? Because the specifics of going to the bathroom (or sex, for that matter) don't add anything to the story or your character.

I have personally never found any reason to have explicit sex scenes because whatever they would tell about the story or characters is always better conveyed by other means. But not everyone shares my findings (or lack of them).

 

As everyone and their grandma has said: if you are going to do something that has high chances of bothering people, you should keep it on a private channel.

The privacy part I can agree with... Generally, in cities or crowded areas. I see no issue with it in more secluded zones, because the risk of getting "caught" could add something. Text-based descriptions of sex mean nothing if you don't understand it already as well. Books are in no way age restricted in the UK, nor as far as I know, anywhere else.

 

As for the adds nothing to character I think you're wrong. Sex adds a lot to a story. Theres a pretty short sex scene in a series I read recently (The First Law books by Joe Abercrombie) and whilst it's quite horrible to read (Not badly written in any way, it's just uncomfortable to be there) (initially both characters are unsatisfied to say the least) it added so much to both characters, that it affected their interactions significantly for the rest of the series. With said scene swapped for a fade to black... I don't think the rest of the books being affected by it would have meant as much at all. In fact, they wouldn't really have made much sense. Used well I don't think there's any issue with it.

 

The whole "cybering" sort of people that erp seems to get lumped in with are a different thing, and sadly it's hard to deal with. I guess all you can do is blacklist those you don't judge to be erping with any kind of "class" (Couldn't find a better word).