Poe's journey (Poe Lhyzeal's Journal)

[Poe]

Hello all!

 

In the following thread you will find the ongoing experiences of Poe Lhyzeal. It is comprised of journal entries, some short stories to help flesh out the arcs, etc. (Post are in chronological order of events!)

 

Enjoy and feel free to leave comments, etc

[Poe]

[align=center]Part of the Tribe[/align]

Soft snoring filled the room as the daylight started to trickle in past the linen curtains. The dark haired Miqo’te rolled onto her side, her ear absently twitching as she yawned and pulled the blanket up over her head. It’s too early for this.She heard a snicker and suddenly a hard tug on her tail that had been exposed as she had shifted in bed.

 

 

“Mota!”The Miqo’te sat up with a huff, glaring at her half-sister, smugly perched on the end of the bed, holding the wispy strands of fur of the exceptionally long tail.

 

“Poe…”Mota said back evenly, before bursting into laughter and standing up, dropping Poe’s tail, “You should really think about cutting some of that fur.” Mota wrinkled her nose in disgust and dramatically wiped her hands together, “Mother said to get up, you two will be heading to Limsa Lominsa to make some deliveries.”

 

Poe closed her eyes and groaned, attempting to yank the blanket back over her head, “Why can’t you go with her for now? I just got back from Ul’dah with her two nights ago.” She could hear Mota clucking her tongue at her. Oh, that’s right. She is too busy meeting with the other elder females and discussing plans to return to the forests and expand the family. Poe rolled her eyes, thankful the blanket was covering her face. She felt another insistent tug on her tail and she sat up, snarling as she shoved the blankets aside, springing to her feet.

 

 

Mota offered a sly smile as Poe and she stood toe to toe. Mota was everything Poe was not. Petite and demure with sparkling golden eyes and long strawberry blonde hair that was never out of place. Their mother, Sula, always reminded them that a female’s power was in her presentation. Poe realized at a young age that she had difficulty keeping up such a facade, often coming home with ripped clothing, mud streaks across her knees and face and brambles stuck in her wispy tail. Her mother was always horrified, it only seemed to get worse as Poe grew from up. Between standing several ilms over her mother and half-sister, her eyes were not the beautiful gold of the family’s either; Poe stuck out even more when in the presence of them.

 

 

Mota continued to smile smugly and Poe finally let out a sigh, though it sounded much more like a hiss. Mota casually lifted a leather bound book up into Poe’s view, slowly licking one finger and flipping a page, “I was enjoying your little drawings. Though, some might find these a bit creepy, do they know you are drawing them as they go about their day?”

 

 

Poe’s eyes narrowed and she growled, reaching for her sketchbook, “Give it back.” Poe snatched the book from Mota’s grasp.

 

 

“Oh, touchy,” Mota smirked as she turned and sauntered towards the door, “She said the caravan leaves before lunch.” Mota disappeared out into the hallway, not bothering to look over her shoulder.

 

 

Poe bit her lip in frustration and looked longingly back at her bed once more. Rubbing one of her ears absently, she moved to the small window perch, pushing the linen curtain aside. It had to be close to noon and realized she had better hurry. Tucking her sketchbook into her leather satchel, Poe quickly turned and changed into some linen travel clothes, slid her goggles into place, tossed her satchel over her shoulder and bounded out of her room.

 

*                    *                              *                            *

 

​ “Poe, are you listening?”

 

Poe’s head whipped around, focusing on her mother. Sula stood, waiting for Poe to follow her through the gate into the city. Poe had been distracted by the scent of the sea air; she could hear the birds down by the docks.

 

“This is important. I won’t be taking many trips once we settle back in our true home. I need to know you can handle these trips yourself. Or at least until you are busy with youngins.” If I have to hear once more about ‘the’ family and rearing of young. It was not that Poe disliked children; she was actually quite fond of them. She disliked the pressure and expectations from her mother. And she hated being told what to do.

 

Poe nodded and followed her mother down the walkway. She had visited both Ul’dah and Limsa Lominsa more times than she could count. Sula had been bringing Poe on her merchant trips for quite some time. Poe had met many individuals and during each trip was always reminded how it would soon be her duty to handle this part of the family’s work. She was grateful in some ways; at least her mother could see that Poe needed to see the world, experience what could be offered.

 

The two weaved through the foot traffic, the sound of merchants advertising their wares and beautiful women offering a wide variety of services filled the air. Occasionally someone would reach out and brush her arm or grasp for her hands. Poe would offer a smile and shift away. Their walk stopped in front of a large tavern.

Sula delicately took off her leather gloves and tucked them into her bag, “I have a few appointments here and then we will be having dinner with the merchant, Relan – you remember him, correct? I want to discuss the possibility of him selling some of our herbal remedies once we are back in our village. You can run along now, but Poe, remember this dinner is important and you need to look presentable.”

 

Poe’s ears wilted as she nodded.She remembered Relan, an older man who shifted from a life on the seas to a life of selling wares in the port city. Poe remembered his son, Davin even more. A few years older than herself, he had taught her how to use a fishing rod several visits back. She was envious of Davin’s freedom. He had even told her stories of his misadventures. She giggled, remembering his tale of meeting a saucy wench that stole all his coin, distracting him with a seductive kiss.

 

Sighing, Poe turned and headed for the docks. She enjoyed that place best, she loved drawing the beautiful ships docked and the way the sea curled around them. She enjoyed the rowdiness of crews upon the ships and hearing old fishermen tales. She found her usual perch, settling down and opening her sketchpad. The most recent sketch had been one of Davin, looking off to the sea as the wind had rustled his hair. Poe smiled as her finger traced over the image.

 

“There you are!”

 

She slammed her sketchbook closed;turning to see Davin grinning down at her as he nonchalantly leaned against the post.

 

“I figured I would find you hear. My father said there was a dinner meeting tonight. And I know right where to find you. You should really explore a bit more, everyone is quite inviting around here.” He grinned down at her, affectionately rubbing her head.

Poe blushed and dipped out of his reach, making a weak attempt at smoothing her hair down, “You heard about the dinner as well?” She carefully tucked her leather sketchpad into her satchel, thankful that Davin did not inquire about it. Schooling her expression, she looked back up to meet Davin’s gaze, a wry smirk on his face.

Davin stood up and held his handout to her, “Well, shall we head back to the tavern? I see how upset your mother can be if people are late.” Poe hesitantly placed her hand in his and allowed Davin to guide her back to the tavern.

 

Stepping inside, Poe paused,searching for where Relan and her mother might be seated. Her hand was tugged as Davin turned her to face him, tapping his finger on her forehead, “You could probably take those goggles off, it is rather dark in here.” Poe frowned slightly and eased her goggles up onto her forehead and blinked a few times. She easily spotted her mother and Relan tucked away at a discreet table. She tugged on Davin’s arm, pointing to where they sat. Davin carelessly waved one hand in their direction, “We can surely enjoy a mug of mead before we join them. Besides, I want to hear about your family’s herbal remedies. Rumor is it is the finest green smoke one would find in the Black Shroud.” Davin winked at her as a tall Highlander approached them, one Poe recognized as a friend of Davin’s.

 

“You buying a round?” the tall man asked, chuckling as he nodded to Davin and then Poe. She offered a quick nod back and glanced over where Sula sat, deep in discussion with Relan.

 

“L-let me get it,” Poe said,offering a brief smile as she weaved her way to the bar. After letting the barkeep know what she needed, Poe turned to rest her elbows, taking the room in. Sula made eye contact, her expression icy cool. Poe raised a finger, trying to indicate she would be over briefly. The barkeep returned with the mugs and Poe carefully balanced them as she headed back to Davin and the tall highlander.

 

“She is amazing. She has this energy about her, I can’t quite describe -“ Davin paused as he saw Poe come closer. She had heard him speaking, stopping a moment as she had tried to collect herself. Is he talking about me? She anxiously approached, offering a mug to each of the men.

 

“A beautiful female arriving with the gift of mead!” Davin grinned widely and wrapped one arm around Poe’s shoulders.

 

The other man took a long sip of his drink, offering a small bow, “I appreciate this.” He took another sip and then turned back Davin, “And this beauty? She is the beautiful Elezen over at that table?”

 

Poe turned to follow the man’s line of sight. Her gaze settled on a group of beauties sitting around a table nearby. She watched as the loveliest one at the table offered a small wave back toward Davin, his friend and herself. Just breathe. It was in moments like these that Poe was thankful for her mother’s constant insistence of a neutral expression. Poe grasped for the skill, raising her brow finally and offering a forced chuckle, “It appears she would like to talk to you.”

 

Davin smiled at Poe before lifting his arm off her shoulder and finishing his mead, “She does await, doesn’t she?” He set the mug down on the counter edge and tapped Poe’s nose, “You give your mother my best. I think I will avoid such a stiff conversation.” He started to head toward the Elezen’s table before pausing to look over his shoulder, “And Poe, promise me we shall sample some of your family’s herbal. I know you have some.” He winked once more before drifting over to the other table. Poe watched him offer a kiss to the beauty’s hand.

 

The loud thump of a mug brought her back, a loud chuckle echoing in her ears. “He is quite the charmer, is he not?” Davin’s friend shook his head, laughing as he lit a cigar. He offered one to Poe and she paused, instead reaching for the cigar he had lit and savoring the sweet smoke for a moment.

 

Handing it back to him and missing his bewildered stare, she headed to her mother’s table. Relan stood up, greeting Poe with a large hug, “Why, you grow taller each time I see you. Just stunning.” Poe hugged Relan tightly and drew a stool up to the table.

 

She quietly listened as Sula and Relan poured over trade routes, timing for different shipments and discussion of hiring guards. Poe had let the ramblings go in one ear and out the other. She felt numb inside.

 

The light in the sky had long since set when Poe realized the discussion had shifted from business. Sula was talking animatedly about the family, telling Relan about the new member who would be joining them. Poe’s ears perked, immediately realizing what had occurred. While Poe and Sula had been traveling, the mate to continue the family lines had arrived to stay with Mota and Poe’s aunts. Her mother had planned it so. Poe felt the bubbling of rage low in her gut as she shifted in her chair. She blinked back tears, furious with herself. All the comments, they were all meant to reinforce that soon they would be moving back to the forest. She couldn’t handle this thought. Later she would probably call herself foolish, but Poe stood up and left for the door. She could hear Sula still talking to Relan in excited tones, discussing what an experience it would be for her half-sister and herself.

 

Poe took one long look toward Davin as he sat among the beauties. A hard realization started to set in, that perhaps Davin was right. She did need to get out…to see it all.

[Poe]

AFGm62CYtpY

 

[align=center]The Sacred Willow Tree[/align]

 

 

"Poe!"

 

The youthful Miqo’te perked her ear and sat up, glancing around. She heard her name called again. Her mother. Poe quickly got to her feet and headed back to the home, she had been sitting by the river lazily watching napping the afternoon away. She jumped over the small fence, snagging her tunic and part of it ripped. Sighing, Poe looked down, trying to find a quick way to mend it, but realized there wasn’t any. Sula would have her hide over this. A female’s power is always in her presentation.

 

Forlorn, Poe continued her walk back up to the large home, surprised to see her mother standing with the Mender on the covered porch. Sula turned, inspecting her as she approached. Poe could feel her ears wilting, what would her mother say. Poe nervously attempted to cover the area the tunic ripped. Sula’s eyes narrowed, her voice sharp, “Really? You will no longer be a child soon yet you run about ripping your garments like one.”

 

Poe’s tail fell limply, dragging on the ground as she made her last final steps up to the porch. Sula turned and nodded to the Miqo’te standing beside her. Poe had only met the female a few times. And the female was enchanting. At one time, her hair and fur may have been a rich mahogany, it was now streaked with a lustrous silver. Her face showed the wear of time but her eyes were still a sparkling green; the only other member of the tribe with eyes like Poe’s. The Mender smiled and bowed her head to Poe, Poe quickly offering a bow back as she felt her hand’s shaking. The Mender felt more like a myth when she listened to stories of their great deeds. She was always elusive, gone for periods of time to do Nophica’s duties deep within the Shroud. She held great power within the tribe, answering only to Poe’s mother.

 

Sula turned and smiled to the Mender, hope clearly in her eyes, “My daughter, Poe.” There seemed to be something more Sula wanted to add but did not. Poe glanced from her mother back to the Mender, trying to hide her confusion. Poe had sensed changes coming as her 18th year was fast approaching, she had not expected to meet the Mender.

 

The Mender then moved, simply taking Poe’s hand and leading her down the porch steps. “We have much to discuss,” she almost hummed. Poe glanced back to Sula, noticing her mother’s quick smile. What is going on?

 

The Mender led her down to the gardens, walking around the beds towards the back where the trees grew thick. Parting back a small section, the Mender motioned to Poe. Poe glanced, noticing a path that seemed to continue. She looked back to the older female.

 

“It is alright,” the Mender smiled. Poe hesitantly stepped through the foliage gate and started down the path, the Mender following her. Several hundred paces down the path, the shroud opened up. A single tree stood in this clearing. Poe glanced at it, confused as the tree did not look well.

 

Turning back to the Mender, Poe remained silent, waiting for an explanation. The Mender took her hand once more and they moved to a simple bench beneath the sickly tree. That was when the Mender started to explain.

 

The job of the Mender is a difficult task, one that has been with this family for generations. Members of the family with aethereal capabilities had been renowned as brilliant healers, it was known throughout the Shroud and beyond. It is said Nophica herself requested we protect this very willow tree from harm. In payment, the family could harvest one large limb every three cycles. Now, I see that confused face, young one. Why would this tree be special? A willow’s tree wood is highly sensitive to aetheric manipulation. The Padjals found it made the strongest and most powerful wands for their spells. But it was not protected, over-harvested by the locals in the city. So for the last five lifespans of the Menders, we have protected this tree.

 

The Miqo’te paused at this moment and Poe finally blurted out, “Why does it look so miserable then?” The elder female smiled sadly, “Inquisitive one. You are not afraid to ask questions. You should continue to do so, Never stop questioning.” The Mender’s face was intent, searching Poe’s own features. She reached up and gently touched Poe’s cheek. Poe attempted to not flinch and the Mender recognized this, smiling gently as she continued her story.

 

But the greed of the family has deepened. Each harvest, more of the tree is taken. It has weakened and with this greed, the tree is becoming tainted. Do not look sad, young one. There is hope still. Your mother does not yet know of the condition of the tree. I have been able to shield it from her. But she will discover it soon.

 

Poe interrupted again, shaking her head, her eyes flashing in confusion, “Why do you share all of this with me?”

 

The Mender smiled again.

 

It is because of you, young one. I have watched you grow. It has been known since your birth you would be the next Mender. Your eyes sparkle with the green of the lush foliage this family was asked to help protect, your aetheric abilities evident to all that watch. You are almost upon your 18th year, you would typically begin your apprenticeship with me after the ritual of adulthood. But…I feel that your story will not go as such.

 

Poe’s ears wilted, concern on her face. Again I am not good enough? Sensing Poe’s anxiety, the Mender squeezed her hand, motioning out to the Shroud.

 

You know Menphina has a lover? Oschon, God of the Wanderers. I see that wanderlust in your eyes. You have the heart of Menphina, her emotional strength yet the drive for travel, for freedom. There were whisperings you were a child born directly from the love of the two Gods. I wonder now myself. Which is what brings me to why I brought you here. Your mother has made her intentions clear to keep harvesting the Willow tree. My strength is fading and more of the tree is becoming tainted. It will soon end it’s existence. And when that occurs, mine will as well. Now, do not look shocked. What I choose to do, I do with an open heart, my gift.

 

The Mender leaned over and pulled a small ornate box out from under the bench. She handed it Poe with a nod.

 

Inside there you will find the heart of this very tree. After much prayer, I knew what I had to do. The tree behind us stands because of my spells. But the heart, you must take it. It is said a powerful enough Mender can replant even a shard of the heart and bring the Willow tree back to life, allowing it to grow tall and strong once more. It was the only part not yet tainted. The heart is small, weakened but there would be enough wood to create several items from it. Be thoughtful how you use the wood. I suggest you use a shard and add it to a tool to enhance your spells, a wand or staff. That will come much later though. For now, simply protect it from your family. Promise me when you find a place to call home, you will once again bring the Willow to life.

 

Poe nodded, her head swimming as she stared down at the box in her hands. She looked back up at the Mender, the older female smiling, “I know you have many questions. I have enclosed more writing about the tree inside the box, but my time draws near and there is none left to tell you more.” The Mender got to her feet, motioning to Poe. “Go, young one.”

 

Poe stood up, clutching the box to her chest. Her green eyes looked glossy. The Mender motioned to her to go back to the path. Poe walked to the edge of the clearing, turning back to look at the Mender beneath the dying Willow. That image would stay with her always, for it was the last time she saw the Mender alive.

[Poe]

[align=center]The Golden Ring

 

[/align]

Little Fox…. The voice still echoed in her head as the Miqo’te put her satchel down. The sound of clinking glass could be heard, Poe frowning as she forgot about them. The last few days had been exhausting. She had worried endlessly about Ace and Rose, her heart saddened to see them at such odds. Her private conversation with Ace before he left the beach party had cemented her suspicions and for a moment a sad smile flashed on her face.

 

Opening her satchel, Poe removed several small vials; she had been spending a significant amount of time trying to find the right mixture of herbs to offer others to help with healing. Her aunt had taught her a fair amount, but Poe had only just begun her training when she fled her family tribe. Lifting the vials to the sleepy sunlight that filtered into her room, Poe’s ears wilted. It’s cloudy…so it’s not pure. The female set them down on the table and turned to peer out the window. Her mind wandered to the other evening, the strange Lalafell and her singing oddly at Ace.

 

A sudden chill ran up Poe’s spine, remembering more than she had shared with the others. She had returned to Gridania the previous day, looking to do some fishing and drop off some items to the local inn. She had been approached quickly by one of the staff letting her know a letter had arrived for her. Her curiosity had been peaked and Poe had quickly gone to pick the letter up. It was a simple message from Eros stating he would like to speak with her. His behavior seemed odd enough but she had shrugged it off.

 

A little later, the rather naïve Miqo’te ran into him out in the Black Shroud. Oddly, he wasn’t dressed in his dark clothing, his pointy hat but was simply fishing in a place Poe was rather fond of fishing herself. He had been polite enough and after some small talk, asked her if she still had the two items her gave her. The stone he had given to her at the beach party and the golden ring he had dropped into her lap the night at the tavern.

 

Poe’s ears flattened with the memory. Why did he give those to me? She had handed them back over to Eros, assuming he simply had requested she hold onto these items for a bit. But when he melded the stone to the small ring and handed it back, she had been thoroughly confused. His explicit instructions still rang in her ear. No one else is to touch it or they will know true fear. She shivered again, remembering his expression. And the odd name he kept calling her, Little Fox. What did that even mean?

 

With this memory, Poe’s eyes started to mist up and she dropped her head in shame. It was all her fault that Ace was being hounded. He had touched the ring. It had all happened so fast, Ace demanding to see the ring; there was no way she would not have given it over. The female had tried to warn him, but it did no good. And then Keldion and Daevien…and Rose….and everyone else. It seemed as if she had brought something upon them all. And there was no way she would allow anyone to get hurt.

 

Refusing to cry, she wiped the tears from her eyes. The crew seemed to be in danger. She swallowed, pulling the shade closed on her window. Laying down on her bed, Poe made up her mind. She was going to find out exactly what Eros was planning.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

[/align]

A simple leather bound book sits on a small crate beside a hammock swinging gently in the breeze. The leather has been scarred from use, discolored in some areas. Flipping through the pages, one would first notice several sketches. Faces of those this journal’s owner would hold dear. A picture of Ace and Rose, them looking toward each other in a heated conversation. A caricature of Saefinn with his …confusing date. Bobo sitting atop a bar waving as Lina is seen rolling her eyes. Ami leaning playfully on the bar at Ambrosia, Keldion in the background with his smirk. Youthful S’anhu peering out over the ocean, looking deep in thought. Daevien leaning against a wall, looking reserved as usual. Several pages are blank and a simple style of handwriting fills a small portion of the page.

 

It seems I have come to a place where I have talked myself into circles. While I have always drawn, it seems now more than ever I need to write. The events over the past weeks, they are simply more than anyone should have to go through. My own faults and weaknesses have caused harm to others and even now, I have not shared the recent event of seeing Mota. Not that she should be a priority. She surely is up to no good, but her only goal is to harass me. I know she will leave my friends alone.

 

My friends…this crew means more to me than anything else. I failed them by not listening to them about Eros. Individuals were wounded… I can’t fail them again.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

[/align]

The writing shows a shakiness not evident in the earlier entry.

 

Failure. Isn’t that what drives so many of us? I failed them again…and in my own anger lashed out. I arrived to the ship to find Rose gravely injured. Lina was patching her up. Glancing around the room I saw that everyone else appeared…numb. They had free Saefinn, thank the Gods…but at what cost. S’anhu was as pale as the memories that now haunt him. Ace was so dark, cold. Seeing Rose…all that blood. I realized I had clearly missed something they…the crew needed me at. I didn’t want to tell them I had been in the South Shroud, studying with a Padjal by the name of Raya-O-Senna. I wanted to come back and make them all proud…that I wouldn’t be the weakest link. In anger I burst out at Ace, misunderstanding his statement. After patching up Rose and clarifying things with Ace, we realized Daevien was missing. Kora told us he was being brought to Limsa… Ryillin announced he was going to find him, insisting he go alone. Why? Why would I not want to be there? And…his question, do I really care for Daevien? Ace stated I was going and thank Menphina for keeping Daevien alive at all. Ryillinn discovered Daevien, beaten and bloody just off the road outside of Costa del Sol. The stench of blood festering in the heat is something I will soon not forget. I did my best to heal him…at least physically.

 

Returning to the ship, Daevien was able to sit and rest. Rose was still not feeling well. I should have been more attentive but I think…I just sorta withdrew into my head, guilt and shame overwhelming my own ability to help. She got sick and she left…stupidly of us, Ace later pointed out. Lina and him bickered about that choice.

 

I realize now the toll this has taken on poor S’anhu. His words have me confused as to what exactly did happen during the rescue of Saefinn. I wanted to speak to him more on that, but Ryillin and him got into a heated arguement and Ry simply put him to sleep. I can appreciate Ryillin was trying to subdue the situation, and he did go to gather food for everyone, but…S’anhu is hurting too. Lina and I were able to move him to my hammock I hung up and I hope he sleeps off some of the horror of the day. After eating the soup Ryillin provided, Daevien and I returned to the inn. Thankfully he is sleeping peacefully now, while I sit and smoke…and write….and think. Perhaps even plan…

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

[/align]

The writing is a bit haggard, as if someone was writing in a dimly lit room and could not see well.

 

The highs and lows….it is almost unbearable. My training has gone well, Raya-O-Senna told me she had not expected to see such power within me. I know I still have much I need to be able to do…for me and this crew. Saefinn can not be expected to carry the burden of keeping everyone ok.

 

My training today involved healing the wounds of the forest. It brought me right back to when I was a young Miqo’te, running free in the woods. No one calling out to me, no responsibilities. When I returned, Raya had congratulated me, stating the next step would challenge me more. I need to hurry, I fear so much is coming to a head, I need to have these skills.

 

The dreams have returned as well. I woke up just now, gripped with fear. I don’t understand them entirely. I realize that by standing beside Daevien, his brother will always see me as potential target, an exploit to get Daevien to do what he wants. I shudder now at the thought, remembering his brother’s rough grip on me, his whisper in my ear. I was so ashamed, I should have fought harder. Thankfully that was all he did, though I fear from his manner that he will do more if he deems it necessary.

 

The hot springs….so many memories there already. I attended the gathering and I enjoyed it, it was nice to socialize with members of the crew I don’t get to too often. The whole time, I was glancing around, vividly remembering the night with Daevien there. Were we foolish? I know I was caught up in the moment….and with everything occurring, all the obstacles and dangers, what would I have done? What if I had gotten…pregnant? I vented to Rose about it, nervous and unsure who to even talk to. I have to try to keep my head on straight and think…

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

[/align]

The simple handwriting was slightly smudged, as if the writer had taken the journal elsewhere to write, perhaps where a light mist fell upon the parchment.

 

I came to visit Relan. It had been some time since I had checked in with the crazy old man. I was tired and haggard. The padjals had placed such confidence in me, I couldn’t let them down. And I didn’t. A-Towa-Cant spoke with me after and I realize now that while I may never be on the front lines, that I do still have much to offer.

 

Returning to Limsa, I first tried to find Daevien. I wanted…no, needed to see him. These past few days away have been difficult and I wanted to see him. But he was not in our room when I arrived. I tried to keep my disappointment under control and took the opportunity to visit Relan.

 

Knocking on his shop door down by the docks, Relan answered it, smoking his pipe and leaned against the door frame, slowly looking me over. I remember nervously shifting from foot to foot. He finally spoke, “You have returned…” I could not tell by his beard if he was smiling, but I noticed the crinkle near his eyes from smiling and quickly embraced him in a big hug. Relan will always be family to me and he knows I will always return to see him.

 

Bringing me inside, he closed the door and pulled up a stool, patting it while he brought out a bottle of liquor. Pouring us each a couple fingers worth, his old, weary body sat down on the stool opposite of mine and raised his glass. We silently drank the liquid, it burning my throat as it went down.

 

The comfortable silence, Relan did not ask where I had been or what I had seen. He simply set his empty glass back down, smiling from what I could tell behind his beard. His statement surprised me, his voice a low rumble, “You have found love.” How the crazy old man deduced that…or realized….I got flustered but did not deny it. Relan had met Daevien quite some time ago, before anything had even happened with the crew. Relan did not speak again and we sat in easy silence, having another drink. Relan stood, stretching as he motioned towards the window where my hammock still hung. “I know you will go sit on docks and write and think. I will leave the door unlocked so you may return to rest.” Old man knows me too well. I lit a cigar and brought my journal out here to write. The ocean sounds are lulling me to sleep but I am glad to have a few quiet moments in the moonlight. And I pray to Menphina that everyone I hold dear will be ok.

[Poe]

[align=center]A Recent Encounter

 

[/align]

The soft sound of rain falling in the forest was enough to help the Miqo’te relax. Her hair now drenched, her ears twitching as she peered around the landscape, those emerald eyes wary. Poe had returned to the site of her harvest, simply cleaning the area before kneeling within the cleared space. Closing her eyes, she softly murmured thanks to Nophica for the abundance of her crop this season.

 

“I thought I would find you here. So predictable…really.”

 

Poe’s eyes opened slightly, barely slits as she turned to face that voice. “Mota…” It had been several cycles since she had last seen her half-sister. To Poe’s disdain, Mota looked exactly the same….fucking perfect.

 

Her half-sister smiled lazily, sauntering closer as her golden eyes flashed, “You didn’t think you could just run off and no one would keep tabs on you, did you?” Her tone was light and mocking, as if talking to a small child.

 

Poe only emitted a low growl. She was mad at herself; of course Mota knew the forests just as well as she. How could she have been so foolish to think she was free of her family?

 

Mota’s lips curled into a provocative smile, tilting her head, “Oh Poe. You look so mad.” Mota leaned in closer with a soft whisper, “Don’t worry. I will find out what else you have been up to.” Turning on her heels, Mota sauntered off again, her hips swaying, “I will see you again.”

 

Mota disappeared back within the forest and Poe finally let out an angry snarl, her fist smashing into the freshly turned soil. Her ear’s flattening; she glared in the direction Mota disappeared off in. Shaking her head, Poe covered her face with her hands, unsure of what she would do.

[Poe]

[align=center]joi5YhlGNUs

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[align=center]Poe’s Journal Entry[/align]

 

 

The writing is light and a bit shaky. One can not decipher if it’s sheer exhaustion or adrenaline. The paper has crinkled, as if someone toyed with the edges as they thought, spilling their inner thoughts out in a mess of ink and emotions.

 

Part of me feels like I missed so much while I was gone with the Padjals. Perhaps I was not as prepared as I had hoped for the masquerade but I still went. Perhaps overdressed…I don’t know. Everyone looked so good and the crowd was overwhelming. I mingled and socialized, offering cigars and making small talk. I was thankful to see familiar faces of the crew as we walked around, anxiously awaiting news in our pearl. Oddly, I noticed Lina and Ace rather close. Proof indeed I have missed much. They may have said she was drunk, but her manner told me otherwise. Not that I will prod. Any footing I might have had in the crew has disappeared since I was gone. They have no reason to tell me anything anymore.

 

There is an obvious pause in the writing.

 

The one thing Saefinn asked me to do I failed at. I could not get the guard to move. Foolish captain, he should have known I would not be able to do it. Woozy, thankfully, is much more gifted at such things. I feel bad she had to pick up the slack when I failed. S’anhu tried to tell me it was ok, but I know it wasn’t. I could almost feel the disappointment.I had hoped I wouldn’t be the weakest link…and I managed to prove again that I brought nothing to the table. Saefinn sent me to meet up with Mara and we moved down to the bridge, hiding out in a pile of hay, Ruhan nearby.

 

I felt like we sat there for ages, my stomach turning and my thighs aching from being in that position for so long. And then…we were given the warning. As the conflict ensued, I remembered my training. I am not anyone they would want on the front lines. I pulled back and prepared to take care of the injured.

 

As we gathered later at the ship to discuss the events, I did indeed see how much of an outsider I had become. Daevien departed shortly after, telling me he would see me soon. It has been so long since him and I could just sit quietly and talk. Perhaps I have pushed him away…

 

S’anhu…hasn’t spoken to me in days. I mean…he speaks at me, not to me. I don’t see the trust in his eyes, the warmth I am used to. Even Ace, Rose, Lina…I have broken the relationships somehow, the ones that are the most dear to me.

 

Perhaps that is what speaks volumes. I am not trusted. And that was all I wanted. Perhaps Mota and Sula were right, you should only look out for yourself. I wanted to be one who could emotionally support others…and I have never felt so alone. I should retire soon…I hope Daevien is still awake when I get to the room. I need to feel…something, anything. And I pray to Menphina it’s real.

[Poe]

[align=center]A moment in Mota's life

 

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The door knob jingled and she swung the door open. Wrinkling her nose, she looked over the room. She had asked for the best room and expected such. Setting her possessions down on the table, she looked over the basket of fruit and turned to glance out the window. The warm desert winds blew through the open window causing the sheer curtains to billow.

 

Unclasping her ponytail, she dragged her fingers through her hair and yawned, moving to the small adjacent bathroom. Finding some nice smelling oils, she started a hot bath. While the tub filled, Mota stared into the mirror, looking at her reflection. She saw a physically attractive face look back at her. Bright golden eyes, long lashes. A pouty mouth that could offer a coy smile. Long strawberry blonde hair, when not pulled back it would flow over her shoulders and pool around the small of her back, the ends curling gently. She scrunched her nose again. That is your gift…be appealing to others, use them to get what you want.

 

She looked down, breaking her own gaze. She hated those thoughts, the words told to her repeatedly by her mother, Sula. She knew she was bitter. Poe had been able to escape from the pressures of the family; to be free of Sula. Nothing had changed for Mota. Not a damn thing. The female could feel the anger boiling within, her face flushed. She took a calm breath. Never show your needs…never show your emotions. All you have is your outward appearance. Use it.

 

Her fingers clenched and for a brief moment she imagined punching the mirror, right at the image reflected back. Disrobing, she paused to examine her form. Alluring enough…always having been able to distract those she needed to with a sway of her hips and soft smile. She turned to stop the water, sitting on the edge of the tub and letting her legs slip into the scented liquid. Thought of her own freedom had been more intrusive. It’s why she had agreed to work with Crycreed. She needed a way to make her own gil. She had little to offer except the use of her female wiles to meet the goals and orders set before her. She bitterly closed her eyes. My needs and wants matter little.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

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I received the call over the pearl. They had found Kel. The relief…as much of a scoundrel as he is, I was so relieved to hear he was alive. I rushed out to meet them. Just like Keldion to dramatically lay on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. A face I did not recognize seemed to have notified everyone. I should have taken the time to seek this male out and thank him, but S’anhu and Ami seemed busy talking with him.

 

And Keldion was in bad shape. Lina had got him to settle. I hope she knows she has a true gift. Her ability to heal…while I could tell it was taxing her…Keldion owes her thanks for everything she did for him. I tried my best to help him. I know Raya-O-Senna said to stop the self-doubts. I also didn’t…well, wouldn’t show up wearing the robes given to me by the Padjals. Raya-O-Senna may say I have earned them, but I still need to earn the respect of the crew. The expectations would be more, especially if they realized I had surpassed the trials the Padjals had placed before me.

 

Daevien got Keldion back to the ship and Lina and I did our best. Time will be the best healer now. I had wanted to clear the air with Ace and S’anhu, but I could tell Lina wanted to talk with them. It is better she got to speak to them, I don’t know what I would even say at this point.

 

There is hesitation in the writing…and it simply stops.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

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The script is quick, hurried, as if the writer was afraid they would forget everything they wanted to write down.

 

The past rise and fall of the moon…so much has happened. E-Sumi-Yan had asked to speak with me. I had bothered him often when I was younger and first arrived in Gridania with my family. A request from him once something that worried me, but I couldn’t ignore it. I had wanted to talk to someone, anyone about this before I left. Fuck - where are you, Daevien? I realized how strained things have become between myself and everyone since I left to spend some time with the Padjals. I should have told the crew, but I didn’t want them to know…because what if I failed?

 

I packed some items, my robe gifted to me was in the satchel as well and I headed out for Gridania. I didn’t know what to expect and when I announced myself to the guild master, they quickly smiled, telling me to go the falls. I quickly hurried there but E-Sumi-Yan was no where in sight. I sat down, confused and waited. And waited….

 

When the sun dipped out of sight and the moon rose high in the sky, E-Sumi-Yan arrived. He commented on my frustration immediately. I tried to brush it off but he continued speaking. He acknowledged I had done well, surprisingly with training. While unconventional, I had shown some innate ability to bend the aether flow and perform acts of healing. He paused at that moment. All I could do was stare at his horns…his child-like face. What was I doing here? Seriously? I have no gifts, not like E-Sumi-Yan and the other Padjals. He scolded me then, as if he could read my very thoughts. As he spoke, I felt more confused but simply nodded. All I walked away with was that my training was truly just starting. And my strongest gift is my greatest weakness. Something to do with emotions, understanding them and being sensitive to others. He told me it was affecting my ability to work with aether, as I was draining myself. He requested I meet him again soon, he spoke of another healer with similar…”gifts” that may be able to help. Gifts? This doesn’t seem like a gift now…

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

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The script is written with a deeper intensity than in earlier posts, the etchings all but carved into the thick parchment. Several small sketches line the sides, if one were to look at the long enough they might recognize the faces of the crew members, drawn perhaps in happier times…

 

I heard the call over the pearl and ran to help. X’hayu had called and soon I found her, getting filled in. S’anhu arrived shortly after. The awkwardness between us was still evident, I was convinced he was upset with me. But I refused to focus on that part and we moved toward collecting the items that had been taken. Kora arrived before we entered. I had heard her name, though we had never been formally introduced.

 

I hope she treats S’anhu well. I am not sure why I am protective of him, especially since he has all but stopped talking to me. But S’anhu is special to me and if she hurts him…even Menphina will have no mercy. The further we went into the camp, the more I could see the anxiety on S’anhu. Looking at Kora…I think I may know what is going on. Not that it is any of my business. I guess it would explain why S’anhu has been busy, distant. He has an important individual in his life now. He asked her to stay back with me. Rubbed me the wrong way though…once again, Poe couldn’t handle herself. That was the message he was sending.

 

During one part of the scuffle, S’anhu was knocked unconscious. I was about to rush forward to help him, but remembered my place and simply stood back as Kora tended to him. With S’anhu up again, though I am sure he had one hell of a headache, we gathered the items and raced back.

 

X’hayu has impressed me. I wouldn’t mind talking with her more to better understand the work she does. She and S’anhu spoke for a while. I had been lingering in hopes of talking to him, I needed to clear the air. But…it was just too awkward. Kora and I formally introduced ourselves and I quickly left, allowing S’anhu to simply ask if I was ok.

 

I am not sure I am.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

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A smell dried flower is pressed between the pages, the imprint of where it had dried still evident against the ink on the page.

 

I have been thinking…our issues with Crycreed. I have avoided most contact with him. I am unsure he even knows who I am really. Perhaps this could be used to our advantage? I will do whatever I need to if it means securing safety for the crew.

 

In my excitement of realizing this, I ran off to the ship to speak with some about it. I arrived to find a few talking. I was relieved to see Daevien….why does it feel like it has been ages since we could just sit and speak? I saw Ace briefly. He…he didn’t seem mad at all. If anything, Ace look tired. My head started to throb as we spoke, I felt like there was so much more simmering below the surface of his words. Was this what E-Sumi-Yan meant? I was suddenly exhausted. When Ace left, I wanted to simply sleep. Was I feeling what he was? I am confused by all of this. I want to pull Ace aside and speak to him, I am still haunted at his statement. I don’t want it to be one hundred years before we talk.

 

When Daevien announced he was off to rest, I had originally planned to speak to S’anhu quickly, but in light of the exhaustion and the pounding headache, I quickly followed behind him. He let me know he would be heading out for a trip. I will admit I was hurt, I finally see him and he is headed out again. I suppose that is how life works though. Once in our room I quickly fell asleep. I awoke this morning and he had headed out. I am not sure when he plans on returning.

 

I plan to run a quick route up to the Shroud but will return later, I caught wind from Relan that Mota had been in Limsa looking for me. I am not sure what she wants. I can only guess that some of the responsibilities have been handed off to her now. I am surprised she is not with child yet, considering my mother’s intentions when I left.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

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Rigid handwriting, showing a tenseness in the writer’s hand.

 

I…I don’t know what has happened. While sitting and overlooking the bay, S’anhu approached me. I actually thought it would be anyone but him. Oddly, he seemed…upset? And then he was telling me Daevien was hurt. That he, S’anhu, had stabbed him! I think I was in shock, stunned. He continued to explain and I fear…it is what happened so long ago. I had never spoken to anyone about that night except Daevien. I shared a small piece with S’anhu, acknowledging I had indeed seen Daevien like this before - if this was even the same thing…?

 

S’anhu told me Kel was downstairs with Daevien, that his wounds had just started to heal up themselves? Part of me wanted to run to him, make sure he was ok. But if it had been…that creature when his eyes opened. I don’t know what I would have done. So I sat down and drank, smoked…S’anhu kept me company as I finally realized he was not upset with me. He must have a lot going on now and I told him how happy I was to see him happy with Kora. One of us in this crew deserves it, right? He looked exhausted still….I was going to offer a hug, but…the conversation turned a bit sour I suppose. He did his best to smooth it over, but it seemed from his wording that I am indeed a weak link, that I could easily be injured. I tried to keep my hands hidden at this point. In anger I had gone out earlier, punching a training dummy until my knuckles bled. Not that I know what I am doing. I just….I felt like I had been carrying this sadness and anger and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Thankfully, S’anhu did not ask about the state of my hands.

 

My thoughts kept drifting back to Daevien. I was scared to go to him but I couldn’t be far away. So I have hung my hammock up just outside the living quarters. I will be here when he awakens.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

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Daevien did not stir. I am not sure why he has slept so long, what is going on? I wasn’t going to wake him…and I know he didn’t ask for me…that says a lot, right? So I left the ship to make a quick delivery up to Fallgourd. Rather forward Hyur approached me and called me a ‘moonlit rose’. Perhaps those sweet lines work on other females. But…it won’t with me. I look at their actions…and actions sure say a lot, don’t they?

 

Interesting that as I approached the inn to drop off the herbs I saw Lina. Lina?? Turns out she had been hiding to keep away from Carter. We chatted while I drank my tea. I felt bad, Lina looked lonely, bored perhaps? I want to help with the Carter situation, but I don’t think anyone thinks I would be helpful. Oddly enough, as we sat, it dawned on me Lina was wearing Ace’s shirt….This is proof I have been in the clouds. Lina….was wearing Ace’s shirt. His shirt! I thought something was going on at the masquerade and now she is in his clothing? I wanted to press her for information but held off. I know I am too curious and it isn’t my business.

 

I feel like I need a night to run away, a girl night where I can cry on a shoulder. Rose has been busy, she is who I would turn to. I may go speak to Ace, but…I know he has a lot on his mind and he seemed so tired when I last spoke with him. I am confused by Daevien’s actions as of late. Busy, gone…he leaves as soon as he is back. I suppose that is message enough, right? I would talk to Lina about it, but she has her own stuff going on and S’anhu…well, S’anhu has more important things to focus on.

 

Before I returned to the ship, I stopped by to see Relan. He simply held me in his arms as I cried…I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it. I remember him simply rubbing my back and patting my head. Told me life was never easy or simple. It’s funny how we all used to gather at the wayward point and I felt like things were good. So much has happened, it feels fractured. It’s amazing how lonely one can feel…even while in a group.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

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The exhaustion is evident in the sloppy writing, barely pressed into the parchment as if the writer was simply drained…

 

He still hasn’t stirred. I remember that Daevien needed sleep last time, but not this much. My poor Dae…And if it is the dragon when he awakens, I remember how scared I was before, I am not sure I can be there to face him. I…I don’t understand why he has continued to sleep, that he doesn’t awake and call for me.

 

I received a note from the conjurer’s guild. It seems I am to continue my training. I quickly packed some clothes and was going to travel through the night back to Gridania. As I was leaving the ship, I came across a few of the crew speaking. I know my curiosity is a downfall, but I lingered and heard what Ace said…I don’t even dare write those words out on parchment….Ace…Ace, how can I…we save you? I will remember to speak to those within the conjurer’s guild for guidance on this matter.

 

And then it seemed Lina had difficulty with it all. And I didn’t know what to say…oddly, I started to feel ill. Not all at once, but like this slow drain. I was rash when I spoke a few times, my own discomfort probably, Gods, I hope it was the reason I said what I said. When Ace left and eventually Lina, S’anhu and I were left standing there. By now my vision had started to tunnel, my head was spinning. I do not know why I became so…exhausted? But, I couldn’t let S’anhu see any of this, that would just confirm the need for someone to always be watching me.

 

I wanted to leave for Gridania, but not in that condition.I figured if I could travel through the night I would be back tomorrow evening to check on Daevien….but…now…. I quickly hurried back to the ship, I heard S’anhu say something but I missed it. I curled up in my hammock and dozed a few hours. I am awake now, rocking with the lull of the ship, my fingers firmly clasped around the necklace Daevien gave me. I have written him a quick note and tucked a private linkpearl in with the note. I don’t know when he will awaken, but I want him to know he isn’t alone. I hope he understands, I have been waiting for him to awaken…and now I need to see if I can help Ace. The Padjals may know something, he won’t think I am abandoning him, will he?

 

My knuckles are healing…slowly. Not for long though. I know Relan would disapprove, but some of the sailors down at the dock told me about some…underground fighting rings. I can’t seem to get experience any other way…I plan to seek them out.

[Poe]

[align=center]Poe's Journal Entry

 

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The opposing page is filled with an unrecognizable language, the script hurried, perhaps sloppy though the reader would be unsure.

 

My head has been spinning. I hope I can remember it all…all this…

 

After my brief nap on the ship, I left for Gridania. Not without first entering the room where Daevien was resting. I left my note and the pearl there for him. I hope when he wakes he will contact me. I also left a quick note down on the table near where the crew often gathers. Just kept it simple, said anything anyone needed, contact me via the pearl. That I would be there as fast as I could.

 

I left quickly after, my things were still packed from the previous night. I arrived in Gridania later this morning and immediately went to meet with E-Sumi-Yan. Raya-O-Senna was waiting with him. Great… The two walked with me throughout Old Gridania, finally stopping by the falls. E-Sumi-Yan asked me many confusing questions, things that didn’t seem to have relevance and I became frustrated. He simply patted my hand and returned to the guild while I sat by the water with Raya-O-Senna. Suddenly another Padjal appeared near us and stood in front of me. Inspected me like a damn bug. I was introduced to her, Lan-I-Mata, such peculiar creatures. She finally smiled at me and offered her hand. I didn’t know what I was supposed to it…I shook it…then kissed it and then she huffed and hauled me to my feet. “We must get started.” That was all she said.

 

We took the small trek to Fallgourd by chocobo, she didn’t answer any questions and I finally just became silent. Once at Fallgourd we stabled our creatures and Lan-I-Mata said we would continue on foot. She stopped by the inn and got us two large mugs of tea, commenting, “You know your plants well. I have always enjoyed the blend of herbs you bring to this particular innkeeper for their tea.” I was stunned, how did she know?! Lan-I-Mata mixed some crushed power into my tea and handed it to me. I must have given her a look, she told me I would need to drink up.

 

But I didn’t, not right away at least. She finally forcefully told me to stop intruding. I didn’t know what she meant and sputtered so. She remained silent until we found a small path that brought us out to a point overlooking the land…and those strange floating crystals. Standing on the land’s edge, she started to explain. I still don’t fully comprehend it, but something with how I connect…use, maybe bend the aether. My emotional energy is somehow entwined with that. Lan-I-Mata asked me if I had been feeling drained when around others, especially others with strong abilities with aether. Ace came to mind and she immediately smiled, “So yes then…” I immediately inquired how she knew such things. And then again, another answer I don’t want to hear, “We all have our gifts…”

 

She urged me to drink the tea with whatever she added and I did. Tasted a bit bitter but…I was here for training, correct? We sat down on the edge in silence for a bit longer until I started feeling edgy. I wanted to know what this was all about. Again she responded, “Stop intruding.” I had had it and got up, angry now. She patted the stone again, telling me to sit and started to explain. Whether I was aware of it or not, my curious nature was more than it appeared, stating that she could sense my energy all but pressing her for answers. “Many will not be sensitive enough to notice…but you need to learn how to control this, or you will simply drain away to nothing. You can not leave a leak like that to just drain into the aether surrounding you. It’s like a gate…you leave it open and you are susceptible to being infiltrated emotionally as well.” By now I was starting to feel odd. I demanded to know what was in the tea. She would not tell me the herbs, only stating it was time for me to practice shutting that gate. With each passing moment, as frustration grew, it…it felt like, shocks? Pulses perhaps? As I sat, wondering what to make of it all, before I could ask a question, I could feel it in my body. She would repeat again to stop intruding.

 

And then…I was blinking…I could see this…sparkly mist in the air, around us. I asked what it was. Lan-I-Mata smiled, “It appears different to different individuals, based upon your skills and gifts…” She told me to not frown before I even had the chance to. She lit a small fire as I was starting to feel chilled and she had me lay back on the ground and look up to the sky. I knew daylight would be ending soon…I needed to go back. Daevien, I needed to see Daevien.

 

My voice sounded far away…slow…vacant. She was speaking and I couldn’t keep up. I caught that the herbs were to help reduce my ability to manipulate aether temporarily. I could feel my skin become cold and clammy. She sat me up and made me face her. And then…I felt this odd sensation, as if she had drawn close to me. But she clearly wasn’t, she was sitting on the other side of the fire. Again, I asked her what she was doing and she told me I needed to shut the gate…on my own power, not something borrowed by the aether around me. I struggled…I sat, I tried. I started to feel sorry for myself…and she scoffed at me. “This is just the beginning…” In anger, I visualized slamming a door loudly right in her face and she suddenly broke out into a smile. Moving to sit beside me, this odd Padjal patted my hand and nodded, telling me I had indeed cut off her access. I was woozy…my head spinning. She muttered I had been letting my very essence just drain away and had been careless. I would have been angry if I was not exhausted.

 

Raya-O-Senna showed up…I don’t know if she was there for any of this…she just was there suddenly. She wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. I tried to speak and she gently wrapped her arms around me…all I could do was weep. I am not sure now what I was even crying about…maybe it was for all of us…and for all the pain. I may have drifted off, I am not sure. When I became more lucid, Lan-I-Mata looked at me sternly, stating, “You should go some place safe and rest. But I know you won’t. You have foolish plans. Being a martyr doesn’t suit you, so listen to me closely. These herbs will keep you from being able to manipulate aether for another day, perhaps two. That means, if you become injured, you will not be able to heal yourself. Do you understand me?”

 

So this stubborn, nosy, horned creature had intruded enough into my thoughts to know I had planned on going to the underground fighting ring… I turned my head, Raya-O-Senna caught my gaze and I didn’t speak. I heard Raya-O-Senna murmur something to Lan-I-Mata and she grabbed this very journal, writing down something on the sheet of parchment. I don’t understand now, looking at it…but I remember being able to understand it briefly. Regardless…Lan-I-Mata told me she would see me soon, that I needed to rest.

 

Raya-O-Senna allowed me the use of her chocobo back to Fallgourd. I should have gone to the inn to rest, but I have sat by the falls, staring at the swirling water, thinking and writing.

 

No word from anyone on the pearl…no word from Daevien. I hope he is still resting then. I will head to the Limsa now. Whether I have my abilities or not, I need to do this. I need to believe I can…or no one else in the crew will.

[Poe]

[align=center]Down By the Docks

 

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The moon had risen high over the bay, the sounds of the ocean were fading away as Poe weaved through the docks. The exhaustion from her day with the Padjals was still heavy on her mind but she was doing her best to keep it at bay. She had stopped in the inn moments before to leave her items in a room for the evening. She had carefully removed the jade ring gifted to her from Relan and her necklace, the one piece that meant more than anything to her, that Daevien had given her. She tucked them into her satchel and stuck it into the top drawer of her desk.

 

Removing her usual vest and skirt, the female slipped into a light linen shirt and thicker cotton pants. Stretching, she considered if the garments gave her enough room to move. Am I being as foolish as Lan-I-Mata has suggested? Poe paused to look down at her hands, the bruises fading into a dull grey. Her fingers gently traced over the sensitive flesh, the achy bones. I really should have consulted with Rose… Poe sighed, dropping her hands to rest comfortably on her hips as she glanced around the room. She already knew she would probably not return that evening, she feared if she were bleeding of having to pay for the clean up. How level-headed of me, to be considerate of the staff here and cleaning up…

 

And now the female was weaving her way down the crowded and dirty alleys just along the docks. The stench filled her nostrils, the torches causing the shadows to dance along the dingy streets. Trash was pushed along the walls, half-broken boxes were stacked, some filled with trash, other with world possessions of those who had no place to put them. She could hear the ruckus as she dipped her head, stepping down two steps into the lower floor of a building.

 

Thankful for her eyesight, Poe blinked a moment, adjusting to the dimly lit room. It was packed. She tried to move past the crowds of bodies, pressing closely against each other. The smell of sweat and blood was overwhelming and the female could feel the bile in her stomach start to churn. But she pressed on, pushing deeper through the crowds until she stood at the edge, where it thinned and she saw two men unmercifully hitting each other. The sounds of skin connecting to skin, the grunts of the men and the cheers and jeers of the crowd. It was almost too much. Poe grabbed her head, trying to steady herself.

 

Finally one of the men collapsed and a small Lalafell entered the ring to name the man standing victorious. Victorious? He looks like he needs medical attention… Poe swallowed nervously as she watched them cart the unconscious man through the crowd and disappear. The crowd roared again and her sensitive ears twitched as she heard the bellowing of masses, frenzied to see more blood spill. Now or never…

 

She pushed her frame hard against the last layer of the crowd and burst into the open space. The Lalafell turned, giving her an inquisitive stare, “Are you lost, miss?” She could hear the laughter in the air. They are laughing at you… Poe quickly shook her head and took a step toward the Lalafell and knelt down to stare him intensely in the eyes.

 

“I am here to fight.”

 

The crowd roared but Poe refused to break the stare with the small male. His lips curved into a sinister smile and he turned to the crowd, “Did you hear that? She wants to fight? What do we think?”

 

The noise rose in the room and Poe stood up, hesitantly looking around the crowd. She did not recognize any faces. Her eyes glossed over and she suddenly realized the Lalafell had been asking her a question.

 

“What?” She asked and the crowd burst into laughter again.

 

“I asked,” he snapped, appearing annoyed, “Were you planning on fighting a male or female? We have rules around this.”

 

Poe shook her head, confused. What does it matter? The Lalafell crooked a finger for her to come closer and the Miqo’te stepped closer and knelt down. The Lalafell suddenly grabbed her linen shirt by the shoulder and ripped it, the fabric hanging precariously by her shoulders now. Poe’s gasp was lost in cheer of the crowd.

 

“No shirts…period,” he told her, smiling widely. “The crowd likes to see a good show.” With that, he snapped his fingers in the air and two shadows now loomed over him.

 

Poe had still been kneeling, stunned, her face flushed with embarrassment as the scraps of her shirt hung, her simple cotton bra exposed. Anxiety swelled in her, glancing up to see the two that had created the shadows.

 

A highland male and female stood, arms crossed with snide smiles as she looked down upon her. The female was barely clad, her outfit looking like it was made up with simple strips of cloth, barely covering anything. The male had a pair of loose shorts hanging from his hips and nothing more. The Lalafell barked into her face again, “Which one will it be, missy?”

 

She swallowed, looking for a way to get out of this. But it was too late, the crowd wanted to see another fight. When Poe did not respond, the Lalafell stepped closer, screaming into her face.

 

“The…the female…” She finally mumbled. I will not fight a male, I don’t want him touching me.

 

The male laughed and stepped back to the edge of the circle and the Lalafell smiled, turning suddenly and a large ding sound could be heard. Poe had not anticipated any of this, the female rushed her and knocked her flat out on her back, unmercifully grabbing her ripped shirt and pulling the remainder of her shirt off of her frame. Trying to curl into a protective ball, Poe felt the first blow to her jaw before she had a chance to tuck her chin. Her pronounced canines came down hard on her tongue and the taste of blood filled her mouth.

 

Her vision rolled, stunning her for a moment as she felt the woman fist her hair and slam her head hard against the dirt floor. Fear boiled up and forced Poe into motion, her knee rising up and causing the female to loose her balance. A quick twist of her hips and she was able to bring her other foot up and firmly kick the woman into the gut. Poe heard her groan and stumble back, the crowd cheering loudly. They clearly cared little for who won, they just wanted to see blood.

 

Staggering to her feet, Poe spit out a mouthful of blood and lowered her center of gravity, crouched and ready to spring. The blow to her head was now a throbbing pain, pulsing from her head down. The highlander snarled and smiled, charging Poe again.

 

But the Miqo’te was prepared, staying low and lunging in return, aiming for the woman’s knees. The woman stumbled and Poe pounced, her knees pressed down onto the woman’s torso as the Miqo’te’s fists clenched. She did not recognize her own ragged breathing in her ears, as she swung as hard as she could down upon the woman. Wildly, not even aiming. The impact against her fists would have hurt if she had time to stop and realize. And then suddenly, she was face down in the dirt, the highlander had her right arm twisted and extended behind her. The crowd was chanting and Poe was still trying to process how the woman had even managed to upend her. And then the pain…the sound of the snap was audible and Poe felt something in her shoulder give way. Blackness threatened to fill her vision, the pain almost unbearable. Attempting to wiggle from the highlander’s grip, the sound of her shoulder grinding could be heard. The highlander released her, standing up and encouraging the crowd.

 

Poe spat out another mouthful of blood as she got to her knees, shaky now. She turned to face the woman, but clearly untrained, had not anticipated another attack. A punch square to her face. The Miqo’te felt the pain in her nose, the blood starting to flow. Her lower lip split and started to swell immediately. Poe staggered and dropped to her feet. The sounds of the crowd swirling in her head, her vision tunneling again as she almost lost consciousness. Fight as she may, she had been doomed from the start. The highlander strutted around a few moments as Poe knelt on the ground, supporting herself up with her left arm, her right arm hanging from the socket in a way that showed the damage done.

 

A final kick to her head was all it took and blackness stole the Miqo’te from awareness. Perhaps it was better she was not awake to see, as her body lay on the bloody dirt floor. Her ripped shirt long gone, her face starting to swell from the attacks, blood still seeping from her nose and her split lip.

 

The Lalafell entered the circle, acknowledging the highlander as the clear winner. The male highlander entered the circle and grabbed Poe by her left arm, unceremoniously dragging her along the floor, the crowd parting as they jeered down upon her form. The highlander exited out a back door, dragging Poe to a large pile of trash in the back alley. He dumped her there, tossing her ripped shirt on top of her form, throwing her out like the rest of the trash.

[Poe]

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The hand writing is a bit shaky.

 

My head is pounding…I can’t believe the pain. And I owe it to Rose. She somehow came across me where I had been dumped. I was so confused, so out of it, I didn’t even realize at first that something was different. But Rose was different…stronger…more aware??

 

And then suddenly everyone was there…Lina tended to my wounds after Rose initially patched me up. I saw Ace, S’ahnu, Saefinn…and then Daevien was there. I was so relieved…he came. He brought me back to the ship and put me to bed.

 

I awoke a few hours later. Daevien was gone…I went up on deck, only a few were still there. Met a man named Carter, he seemed so nice. Asked too many confusing questions…well, S’ahnu did. I was feeling a bit better, but overwhelmed. I have returned to my room, I just…I am so confused. What to do…I need more sleep, maybe that will give me the answers I seek.

[Poe]

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I am glad I have cleared the air with S’anhu. I was worried that we still were at a misunderstanding. But we are not, thank the Gods. I remember the day he stood up for me, believing in me when it didn’t feel like anyone else did. I don’t expect him to know or understand how fragile I was feeling. Daevien has been gone, limited communication, Rose disappeared. Ace has been through…too much. And then I snapped when it seemed S’anhu was trying to suggest I needed to hang back because I would be injured.

 

We needed it when I heard a call for help over the pearl. Ace needed help. S’anhu and I rushed to help. Ace was locked up in the jail and when I got there, S’anhu appeared rather heated. I made an attempt to negotiate…but the guard cared little. We did get him out after payment. Ace…poor Ace. I have never told him he has a striking face, but he looked so ill when I first saw him he almost seemed unrecognizable. And so cold, he was so cold. It seemed like he had no connection with the aether flow….How could this be? Ace…? He explained what happened, how he ended up there. Malthe….Rose, Rose are you ok? What is going on?

 

We got him to his place in town. S’anhu and I agreed we would connect with Rose and get to the bottom of this. I returned to the ship….I have not seen Daevien since he tucked me in after the crew found me….where has he gone?

[Poe]

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S’anhu and I met up to try to have Ace and Rose speak. With a little prodding we were able to get them to meet. Of course, it never fails when we manage to get those two into a room together, nothing is easy. A stranger started lurking, seemed like they were trying to listen in while the true details were being sorted out. Ace seemed…exhausted still. My spells have helped minimally I feel, I don’t know how much damage he sustained with Malthe cut off his connection to the aether flow…. I will need need to continue to look into this…the library at the Conjurer’s guild shed little light.

 

After Rose and S’anhu shared pleasantries with this stranger, we moved to a more quiet location to speak. I could almost smile, S’anhu and I made a pretty good team, patching Ace and Rose back up, getting them to talk. Suddenly Dae appeared, it was a relief to see him…but….It was awkward too. The others split pretty quick. I didn’t know what to say. How do I tell him his absence…my confusion about why he has been gone? I remember when Rose asked me if Daevien had spoken to me. That moment, when S’anhu and Rose were looking at me curiously, I had no answer…he just had tucked me in and left. And like that, he was back. I brought him up to speed, let him know what was going on….thankfully our conversation moved to a more gentle topic. I told him I had another training trip with Padjals planned…but not before a trip to Fallgourd. I need to clear my head, not that sleeping at the ship hasn’t been comforting. I think a quiet evening by the waterfall would make a huge difference.

 

I was excited about selling the amulet, after passing along the information and discussing a possible party, I have come up with a great idea! Since Ambrosia has closed down, we haven’t spent time down by the sea. I want to seek out Ami’s advice, surely she would know how to put on a great party. I plan on sending her a quick note. I know she has been busy, I haven’t seen her much of her; I hope she will consider helping me put the party on.

 

Over the pearl, I heard confusion…Lina running, Carter chasing. And Shura back…? Rose and I were finally able to convince Carter to speak with us. He explained again he simply wanted to help Lina. He looked….truthful. I know I can’t even say that. After Eros…I don’t know that the other trust my judgement of character. But I swear, he seemed genuine…

 

I have much to do before my training. And…I feel like I have lost my solace…I just want that back, even if that -is- selfish.

[Poe]

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The writing shows the writer paused often, to think, mull over what words would be put down…

 

I have been traveling, looking through tomes to see if there was any information that would help Ace. I see the sacrifice he has made…and while I may not have always agreed with his methods, I do know he did it with best intentions in his heart. And for this reason alone, regardless of his choices, I will help him. I promised him.

 

It started to rain yesterday, my mood turning sour with the weather. I had no information, no way to help. I don’t like feeling so helpless. As I was walking slowly through the streets of Ul’dah, smoking a cigar and…well, honestly sulking, I ran into Booker. I had not seen him for some time. I think the last time was back at the beach party, he was with a cute female and seemed to be enjoying himself. Regardless, it was nice to see him. We caught up, though I sensed something was amiss. I could hear the sadness within his words, though he said he would not trouble me with such stories. Our conversation shifted to what brought me to the city. I mentioned my search for information about a voidsent. Surprisingly, Booker stated he had dealt with something like this before. Kill Ace? That was not the answer I wanted to hear or am I willing to do… He did suggest that if brought to the brink of death, a voidsent would typically leave the host. I don’t know if that would work…I mean….I can’t let that happen to Ace. There has to be another way…

 

The rain stopped for a bit and I said farewell to Booker and went back to my rented room in Ul’dah. I have been thinking of a home for myself, a real home. I appreciate the space on the ship…but sometimes I need a place to just go away. Relan contacted me the other day to ask how I was….I told him I was good, fine…

 

But…I am not fine. Not at all. I have been throwing myself into other situations to keep from acknowledging my own pain. But I can’t run from that anymore, can I? I should have known he would hurt me…not on purpose but that it would happen. When you come from a family where you are a possession more than an individual with needs, maybe that made me susceptible? I feel like the crew cares for me…hell, some have even said so. I know they will be there for me. But…I suppose I let myself get caught up in the idea that he would always be there, unrealistic as that is.

 

I plan to talk to Rose…I am sure she can give me advice or even just a shoulder to cry on. Maybe this shows some growth on my part. I always try to be there for others…so where do I go with my thoughts? No where usually, sometimes Relan…but matters of the heart? There are a few lines scribbled out with such intensity that it is unreadable.It’s not like him and I ever made promises to each other, so why does it hurt? It seems perhaps the Gods have other plans for him and I will not hold him back. I will always be here for him…but I am not sure how strong I can be…

 

I am jealous…horribly so. I know relationships…can I even call ours that? - anyway - they go through their ups and downs. I see the looks given between lovers…or hopeful, wistful lovers. And Mota would call this nonsense. But I know her secret, she is just as afraid no one will love her as I am. The difference….I allow myself to love and when it knocks me down, I get back up…even if it takes some time.

 

Maybe it is not love though? It feels more like a dream, wishful thinking. I need a hug from Rose… I just keep repeating this to myself…

There is absolutely no point in sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. The great power you have is to let go … focus on what you have, no that which has been mean or unkindly removed.

[Poe]

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The writing is a little sloppy but seems to show an energy.

 

Rose! Rose…thank Menphina for her, truly! I didn’t know what I expected…but she made me feel so much better. I had sorta hit my breaking point; there was so much going on with everyone. And I need to be there for them…but I couldn’t think clearly any more.

 

She came right out to meet me at Costa. Found me sulking at the bar, though she was nice enough to not comment on it. And then, with a simple question, I started spilling. I told her everything that had happened and then the distance…the silence. And Rose, man, a true best friend, was outraged. And even though I tried to calm her, part of me was happy that someone else was hurt for me as well. She seemed surprised, stating she knew Daevien had been gone a while but had assumed he had been in contact with me.

 

And then she hugged me and I started crying. Just because I am confused. Rose had a way of making me smile again though, and she helped me see that no matter how the pieces fall, I am going to get through it. And she will be right by my side.

 

Two glasses of wine later, we headed for the ship. I saw Ace slipping out, not sure if Rose noticed him or not. We ran into S’anhu, we spoke of how we may be able to help Ace. Ace and his ideas! We spoke of going to his guild and speaking with them there…well, I offered to go with S’anhu, but suddenly Rose and him were starting to tense up with how to handle this. I wasn’t used to seeing S’anhu like this…maybe it scared me a little. I know I can negotiate with others well enough, but I decided to leave it to S’anhu. Everyone seems to have a plan on how to handle this…I simply wanted to gather all the information and we all sit down…be logical and thoughtful and figure out a plan. Rose insists this is her fate…to destroy Shura. No! She is my best friend, she doesn’t even know what would happen to her after. I don’t want anything to happen to her either.

 

My exhaustion has started to set in, I will try to find S’anhu tomorrow, find out what he learned. If it’s not enough…I will return to the guild and see if I can find out more. Not that I don’t doubt S’anhu’s abilities, but…he seemed…fired up about it. I don’t know how well that work. A simple minded female Miqo’te asking questions…maybe I can find out more.

 

We will get through this, I swear.