Innocence and Avarice [closed]

[Zhavi]

Zhi tipped her head to the side, the smile neatly overtaken by more food as she stuffed her mouth. "Hnn. Pictures, huh?" She seemed amused. "There a puppet show what follows?"

 

She wondered if she should be talking to him. She wondered if she should send him away. She wondered about his secrets, and Lalataru's, and things that could cause her ill.

[Goodfellow]

Styrmsthal raised his hands out before him.  "Ne'er met a puppet fit o'er these.  Shadow puppets, mebbe."  He laughed and eyed the girl's bulging cheeks, advising, "And save some for t'morrow, girl.  Taru's not sending me e'ery day."

 

He looked at the window for a moment and said, "Gods, we're so low can't even 'ear the bells.  Althyk hisself would lose track o' time."

[Zhavi]

The rain outside had intensified, and the sound of it obscured nearly all else. For the moment it was just her and Styrm; if the couple on the other side of the curtain were present, they were unusually quiet. Besides, she'd paid good coin for them to maintain their silence -- but she still put the food down while she finished chewing. Once she'd done with it, she repacked the food and slid it sideways. She came down from her crouch, tucking her legs beneath her, and placed her hands on her knees. She put the weight of her upper body on them, her head lowering until it drew even with the line of her shoulders.

 

The sound of the rain was loud, especially when she couldn't bring herself to respond to him, not right away. She was lost in her own act. What a joke.

 

"Look," she said, and stalled. She licked her lips. Try again. "I ain't good wi' . . . swappin' straight talk wi'strangers in me home." She glanced away from Styrm as if to reaffirm that was where they were before looking back. "But I'll be straight. I ain't got a good past wi'the jacks. An' . . .y'know, ain't like -- I ain't crossed paths wi'the Gate. But ain't typical fer one like me t'go prancin' up t'their door. Master Lolotaru, well, he ain't called th'jacks down on me head. That's good. That's real good, but it still, well, shit gets taken out o'me every time I tread stone near that guild."

 

She was staring at Styrm, staring hard. "An' I know mebbe it's a risk fer him too, but I still gotta know, y'know. That he won't turn me in. That he won't . . . kill me, on accident or a purpose. That I can. . .trust. . .him."

 

Her voice was low and serious, her mouth working over the words as if she had to chew them to get them to fit on her tongue. There was two of her in those words, a mix of Joz and Zhi that contained things she didn't really want to think about. So she didn't. She pinned that intensity on Styrm: face down and eyes up: a cat ready to strike or turn tail depending on need.

[Goodfellow]

Gods knew when the rain would let up again.  Certainly not before he left.  No matter, the rain didn't bother him so much on land.

 

What's got 'er so nervous all of a sudden?  She hadn't seemed threatened by him so far, despite his size, and he'd been all sweetness.  He made a noise of understanding as she described her relationship with the authorities.  But she'd already mentioned that to Taru, so why bring it up to him?  He was just the sort you didn't have to explain yourself to.  

 

He was wondering whether he should head all the way out or try to find a place to sleep for the night when her words hooked his attention once again.  Did she say 'kill'?

 

He stared right back at her.  He wasn't nearly the clever sort that Taru was, but he put everything he could into keeping straight, into reading behind her face and her words.  He leaned in close, his great face drawn shadowed in the dim candlelight.

 

And then he laughed.  His face cracked and his mouth opened wide and his arms came to his sides and his great guffawing shook the boards beneath them.  He slapped his belly and tried to open his eyes, to look at her.

 

"Taru?"

 

More laughter, and greater.

 

"Yer askin' me 'bout Taru?"

 

Chuckles continued to sneak out of him as he composed himself.  He stood up and wiped his eyes and said, "Oh kid, yer sharp.  Heh, a regular riot."

 

He lowered his head into his hands and shook lightly, mumbling to himself incredulously, "Worryin' herself o'er Taru, heh heh."

[Zhavi]

He was laughing. At her. A shiver passed down her spine and out to the tip of the tail, built of her more typical urges, the kind that tended to roll off her tongue like knives. She wanted, for a moment, to tell him how stupid he looked, laughing like that. How ridiculous, all attention grabbing loudness. Distracting, that type of laugh. Loud enough that it was likely the neighbors on either side had heard him, much less the people in the squat building they were in. Yeah, definitely the type she took drinking and gambling. Not the type she liked to deal with for information.

 

She didn't like the way he towered over her, so she stood too -- not that it stopped him from being taller, but at least she didn't feel like he would stomp her all of a sudden. A very insincere grin contorted her lips. She was a hair off from glaring at him despite the smile, but she didn't insult him. Not yet at least. She stayed silent, arms folded, ears sideways and the tip of her tail twitching behind her. Waiting.

[Goodfellow]

Composed, but still smiling oafishly, Styrm reached out one huge hand and ruffled Joz's hair.

 

"Eat up, Jozzie, looks t'me ye still got 'omework needs doin'."  With that, he walked over to the window, put one foot out, and turned back towards her.

 

"G'night, kid," he said, "be seein' ye."

 

He squeezed back out, tumbled slightly, caught himself again between the buildings, and headed off back the way they had come.

 

Guess I should go see 'im, he thought to himself.  Then a drink.

[Zhavi]

"Sonuva bitch." Zhi glared out the window. The one time when she needed to be taken seriously was the time when she wasn't, of course. It suited her fine to play the part of an adolescent boy or a teenage girl when she was out and about the markets but -- the scrag hadn't answered her rutting question. Useless. Still, it probably wouldn't have worked to her favor if she had managed to somehow intimidate him; Joz might not be a wilting flower in front of Styrm, but she sure as shit wasn't a hardass. Her stones wouldn't be that large, even if Zhi herself was willing to ply the edge and risk getting swatted out of the air.

 

Nothing to it but to empty the pans and move the blankets as far away from the puddles as she could. She'd have to get more pans. She might have to stomach living in shantytown, but that didn't mean she had to let it be any worse than it had to. Gods, hadn't she at least gotten past the point where she was forced to stay in such crap locations? Oh, it was better then huddling up in doorways, but . . . she was probably going to have fleas again by the time she was done with it. No matter. She would have Lalataru's book, eventually, and that would be the end of it. That was the only thing she had to worry about. That and her own rutting notebook. She broke away from the window and went to the pile of blankets. Once she was nestled into them she took up the grease pencil and started working.

 

Until she made progress or ran out of pages, eh? One way or the other, it didn't much matter to her which one she hit first.

 

It didn't.

[Goodfellow]

Styrmsthal made his way straight from Barnacles' Reach to the Upper Decks and to the Bismarck, specifically.  Lolotaru generally dined late and was fond of the venue, although he generally brought his own wine and spices to liven up the dishes.  Unfortunately, having gotten mussed and muddied with Joz and having walked the whole way in the rain, the staff was unwilling to let him enter.  Being the sort of man he was, the ruckus he caused caught Lolotaru's attention and the lalafell finally, with considerable effort, managed to persuade them to allow the roegadyn entry.

 

They seated themselves in the of the balcony area, barely covered from the rain.  Lolo went to pour the bigger man a glass of wine, then thought better of it and handed him the whole bottle.

 

"Well?" he asked.  He seemed tense.

 

Styrm feigned offense, waving his arms in an exaggerated pantomime, "Woah, woah, woah, Taru.  S'that any way to talk to an ol' friend?"

 

Lolo hissed in response and motioned for him to be calm, "Fine, fine, you're right.  I'm sorry.  But please do try not to draw so much attention."

 

"Gods, she's really got ye lookin' o'er yer shoulders, ain't she?"  He looked at his diminutive companion in bemusement.  Lolo did not respond.  Styrm took a long swig straight from the bottle, sighed appreciatively, and put his hands on the table in front of him.

 

"I ain't got it fer certain ye need to be frettin' yerself so, friend.  I spent longer with 'er than I meant, but not fer suspectin' nothin'," he said.  He flipped his hands palm down on the table in front of him, an emphatic tic, and said in a low but intense voice, "The girl's a crack, Taru!  Ye didn't tell me she was a funny one!  Jus' shy o' cute, too."  He grinned and winked.  In the dark, he couldn't tell  whether or not Lolo was blushing.  Styrm laughed to himself at the thought.

 

A look of confusion crossed Lolo's face, but he didn't comment, instead brushing his damp hair from his forehead, taking a gulp to rival that of his tablemate, and asking, "And what did you find?"

 

"Nothin'."

 

"Nothing?  What do you mean, 'nothing'?"

 

The roegadyn laid his elbows on the table's edge, careful not to tip or break it, and leaned in.  "I mean nothin'.  Gods, girl seems twice as worried o'er ye, Taru.  A regular cold an' sober fearin'.  Don't think it's jus' the homework, neither.  Ye've got 'er spooked, some way."

 

The look of confusion returned and deepened.  "She's scared of me?"  He felt upset and was unsure if he should.  If she was scared, she might leave him alone.  But if she was scared, she might leave, abandon her studies.  And if she was scared, she'd have a reason to dig.

 

"How much food did you take to her?" he asked.

 

"'Bout two, three suns' worth.  But she looks a sack o' bones, so that bag may be empty by t'morrow night."  He shook his head.  "Taru, we known each other a li'l while now.  What's it about ye got her shakin' so?  Ain't yer magic, nor yer gil.  It's somethin' about ye."

 

"Styrmsthal," he replied, eyes downcast, "you know I can't tell you that.  You're my friend and you know that I trust you, but--"

 

"Yeah, yeah.  I gotcha, Taru.  I ain't one to begrudge a man 'is past.  I'll work 'er next time I'm by, but I ain't no good at lyin' and she fits right in me soft spot, so ye may have more luck jus' askin' 'er yerself."

 

"She's scared of me, Styrm," Lolo replied.  His wore a sad face, and his words were full of a world of regret.  "I can't."

[Zhavi]

The night passed, and the morning brought with it charcoal clouds and more drizzling. The sky was packed with clouds, shielding Zhi from Azeyma's vindictiveness. Good. Let the bitch keep to her own company for a change, rather than forcing it on everyone else. Zhi would stomach the rain for that purpose, as she skipped between her sources for the morning rounds. Despite the lack of progress with the notebook, and the frustration of the night before, she'd decided to start working on a whole other problem.

 

Galleon.

 

Her queries were carefully worded and sown. She didn't use the name he'd given her, was sure that it was a throwaway in any case, but there were enough hints that anyone gave in conversation and dealmaking to use when dealing with the rumor mill and the information network that clung to every spire and bridge. Keep it vague enough that nothing would be returned to him, but not so vague that those she visited wouldn't be able to do anything with it -- story of her life. At least if she had some weight behind her she wouldn't have to worry about getting squashed, but she was inconsequential enough that her death would be little more than an inconvenience to most. Those who did rely on her didn't have the power to stir up trouble, themselves. She'd get there one day. In the meantime, she played the game.

 

____________

 

Zhi jerked back from the page, pencil falling from her grip. Was that -- ?

 

It was late. The moon was high, she was certain, though the clouds were as thick as they'd been since the previous night. The rain was more sporadic now, though it showed no signs of going away completely. She'd been working long enough that she'd had to tug more wick up out of the oil in the lamp. Late enough that, thanks to her recently diurnal habits, she'd been falling asleep. It was then, as she nodded over the paper, that she'd been jolted awake by a strange sensation. Not much of one, maybe just a stray fancy, but something.

 

She picked up the pencil. It was too late to go looking for Lalataru. Could she do it again?

 

_______________

 

Waiting for Lalataru in front of the Gate's front door was really getting tiresome. Zhi resolved to ask him for another meeting place, or something, because the walk was really not one she wanted to be making so frequently. True, it was only what, her third time? But that was more than enough. She felt exposed. Even with the weather giving her cause to tuck her tail up into her coat, she had that creeping sensation that she would be seen by someone she knew, which translated into potential blackmail. Not something she wanted to deal with. Hard enough to handle her other jobs while dealing with this one; it gave her the jeebies to let the matter with Clove fall to Brindle, even though she knew him to be more than capable for such small work. Long as he didn't shit the bed.

 

Crouching in the depressingly familiar corner, she waited for Lalataru.

[Goodfellow]

As with their first meeting, Lolotaru didn't see Joz until he had almost stepped on her.  He was in something of a hurry, arriving several hours later than he had intended, and his head was cloudy from replacing sleep with wine.

 

Despite the sad and tense beginnings of his meeting with Styrmsthal the night before, they had ended up running fast from sleep with wine and revelry, as they always seemed to when meeting in the vicinity of alcohol.  They had, of course, had to remove themselves from the Bismarck, but the Drowning Wench was built for just such raucousness.  Had the Mizzenmast not been connected to the Wench, Lolo may never have found his way back to his room.

 

And so it was, in light of the contents of Styrmsthal's report and the cloudiness of Lolotaru's mind, that he stopped the descent of his foot just shy of Joz's kinked tail--Funny, never noticed that before--and allowed a very obvious species of shock to appear on his face before slowly and clumsily composing himself.

 

"Ah...er...good morn--uh...good afternoon, Miss Joz," he said with a shallow bow, blinking his eyes deliberately to clear his view and hold her gaze.

[Zhavi]

Zhi pulled on cheer with some effort and bounded to her feet. "Fair winds Master Lolotaru! I was wondrin' if we might jes find a place t'meet that weren't all underfoot like this'n is, on accountin' I keep getting all these looks, an' I don't want t'get chased -- an' I think I did it this time here look!" The words came out in a rushed jumble. Her eyes were big, her smile barely contained. She sank back into a crouch to hold out the notebook to Lalataru, ears back and tail curling up under her threadbare jacket.

 

But she wasn't looking him in the eyes. Not for long, anyways.

[Goodfellow]

Lolo's eyebrows climbed high as the torrent of Joz's words sped by him.  Raising his palms before him he indicated for her to slow down.  His eyes fell on the notebook being proffered him.

 

Distractedly, he responded, "Yes, yes, of course.  Where did you have in mind?"

 

He reached out and took the book before craning his head back to look her in the eye.

 

"You did what, exactly?" he inquired.

[Zhavi]

"Where don't matter none, but I thought ye should -- oh! I think I mighta done it, Master Lolotaru! Look, here, this'n --" she reached out, impulsively, and stuck her finger into the pages, flipping it open so she could set it to the right page. Her cheeks were flushed.

 

"That un, there." She put her finger right above the marking, and stared at it like it held salvation.

[Goodfellow]

He looked at the notebook in his hands, at the page that Joz was so excitedly indicating.

 

It's not the last page.

 

She was to return when she had run out of pages or made some progress in her awareness of her aether, and she had returned before the last page.  His eyes opened wide as he examined the symbol before him.  Yes, yes, this one was different.  At one very precise angle, she had brought the line curving outward, only to cut it back in tightly at the next vertex.  He looked up at her and smiled.

 

"You felt something?  What was it?  Do tell, Miss Joz!"

[Zhavi]

"It was sorta. . .tingly. Up me fingers an' down me tail. Only did it once, I was fallin' asleep -- wanted t'show ye first thing." Zhi folded her arms on her knees and smiled down at the notebook.

[Goodfellow]

He nodded along as she spoke.  As she was falling asleep tracing, her mind must have gone totally blank.  Except for the symbol.

 

"That's it, Miss Joz," he whispered.  Then, louder, "We're leaving.  The Zephyr Gate, I should think."

 

He smiled and turned away, waving along his companion with his hand.

[Zhavi]

Feck. That was the last thing Zhavi had expected to hear, and the last thing she'd wanted to hear. Well, maybe there were worst things he could have said, but that one was rutting bad enough. Protesting? That wasn't going to happen. Not yet. There'd be no reason for Joz to have any misgivings about leaving the city, none that wouldn't complicate the simple teacher-student relationship she was currently striving for, and that. . .

 

She had to go along with it. For now. What a rutting wonderful start to her day.

 

"Yes, Master Lolotaru."

 

Ye feckin' scrag!

 

The litany of insults in her head didn't make her feel any better as she rose to her feet and dutifully followed him like some clueless puppy. Joz was all smiles, for sure, but Zhi was wrenched back by the thought of her other jobs. Brindle and Clove could handle Thatcher's business if she was out for any long amount of time, and Chirp could assist with the rest, and Skarp could wait -- she was used to waiting anyways, sometimes the timing of moving her assets could be delicate -- and . . .

 

"So where we goin', sir?"

[Goodfellow]

Lolo felt invigorated.  If he could truly teach her, it would serve as vindication for his goals.  And if she learned something difficult and of value from him, maybe she would fear him less.

 

He tossed a reply over his shoulder without stopping.

 

"We're going outside, Miss Joz, to practice more freely."

[Zhavi]

Sweet, sweet relief. He wasn't taking her on some trip that would take gods knew how long. Still, she was on guard, and edgy.

 

"Yessir!"

 

Zhi followed him past the chocobokeep and over the bridge, keeping her mouth shut. She hated being outside of the city. It was so. . .open.

[Goodfellow]

As they stepped off of the bridge, Lolo took a deep, deep breath.  He loved La Noscea.  The rolling hills, so like the dunes of Thanalan, but green and redolent with the sticky salt smell of the Rhotano.  Too often the crush of people in the city crowded out the clean smell of the sea, but mere steps outside the gates and the island rushed into one's lungs in an intoxicating way.  He continued walking, his student following, out into a wide open area just east of the road from the Zephyr Gate.  He looked around and nodded.

 

"Here.  Those rocks," he pointed, "right over there."

 

He turned and spoke directly to Joz.  "What you felt, Miss Joz, was the aether that fills you, whether you were aware of it or not.  It has always been there, and it always will be, like your blood or your breath.  It wells up inside of you and if you are cognizant of its flow, you can express it, manifest it outside of yourself.  The purest, the simplest of these techniques is Ruin, the symbol you've been practicing."  He paused and squinted seriously.  "Do not think of Ruin as destruction, and the Twelve take its name.  It is simply unrefined power.  Raw power is dangerous, yes, but it does a disservice to the aether and its wielding to be satisfied with such."

 

He breathed, loosened his expression, and smiled.

 

"Now that my speech is out of the way, would you like to try?"

[Zhavi]

Zhavi sneezed. Ugh. She sneezed again, and wiped at her nose with the back of her hand. It tickled. The city sure smelled, but outside of the city smelled in another way that got up inside her nose and made it itch something awful. She swiped at it again, trying to get at the internal itch by pawing at the outside. How intolerable.

 

But then Lalataru started talking, and Zhi's eyes wandered away from the far-off vista of the horizon and towards the lalafell. What he said didn't make perfect sense to her, but she could understand the parts of what he said easily enough. It was entirely outside of the world she'd built for herself, and that made her nervous. She wanted to lash her tail back and forth, but everything was much too open for that. She hid it up under her coat instead, glancing around every few seconds as if to make sure their surroundings weren't rearranging themselves without her noticing.

 

"Yeah?" She said. She hadn't meant it as a question. She cleared her throat. "I don't know what t'do."

[Goodfellow]

Lolo took a few short steps towards her and handed the notebook back to her, open to the last used page.  He pointed to the symbol there and said, "Do what you did last night.  Only this time, don't stop it."

[Zhavi]

That was . . .

 

Zhi bit down on the word that wanted to come out of her, on the feeling itself that bubbled up and made her want to glare at him and stomp back inside the city. She didn't want to admit to herself why she was getting angry, much less admit it to the lalafell, but once the notebook was back in her hands she didn't exactly have many options.

 

She looked down at it, hating how stupid she felt. She took out the grease pencil, pressed her lips together and glanced back at Lalataru. No help, there. All that open space, and she was still trapped as good as if she'd been penned up at the end of a dock.

 

Her first try failed. That made her more angry. Her lines became erratic and crooked, prompting another five failures. She was pretending she didn't care by the seventh, and had stopped paying attention to what she was doing by the thirteenth; she was wondering how long he would stand there watching her before he stopped her when something rippled along her fur and buzzed over her spine. It snapped out of her, away from the notebook, careening upwards at an awkward angle and splatting against the rock with a sound that was almost pathetic.

 

Zhi fell back on her arse, her eyes wide and her mouth open wide. She felt as if something had just punched through her gut, leaving her feeling empty yet strangely euphoric. All traces of the act had been wiped away, leaving only Zhi to turn her shocked expression on Lalataru. She didn't say a word, just gaped at him.

[Goodfellow]

She'll be needing another notebook soon if she keeps burning through pages at this rate.

 

He was just reaching towards his pocket to pull out a book to read, prepared for the fact that this exercise might take all day and then some, when Joz finally succeeded.  He felt, heard, and saw the bolt arc out before her and strike the one of the rocks.  It wasn't a clean cast, and it wasn't particularly powerful, but she had done it!

 

They stared at one another a long moment before a smile cracked across Lolo's face and he began jumping and clapping excitedly.

[Zhavi]

In that moment, there was nothing at all in her head. Then he started jumping and clapping and grinning, and gods, he looked so stupid. So stupid that she couldn't help but laugh at him. She lay back, stretching her arms above her head and pointing her toes as she gave herself over to the exultation. Everything went away for that little while, until reality reasserted itself. The ground was wet from the recent rain, and she was now wet too. Whatever. She still let herself lay, cushioning her head on her arms while she stared up at the sky for a little while. Her clothing would be stained, and soon it would be completely uncomfortable. I don't care, she thought, exhaling long and slow. I jes don't.

 

Finally she rolled onto her stomach. She propped herself up on her elbows and watched Lalataru. There was a distant look in her eyes, though she was smiling. "Hey," she said.